by Leona Fox
“Whatever happens, whoever it is, you and I are in this together. Your problems are my problems and nothing is going to break us apart. And remember, you have the super-sleuth Ellen Thatch on the case. So there's no way anything bad is going to happen to you.”
He cupped her head in his hands and kissed her deeply on the lips. The tenderness of his kiss and the warmth of his love soothed her anguished soul and she felt a little more relaxed. She nestled against him and blinked back the few remnants of the crystal tears that had formed in her eyes due to the ordeal. Her mind still was rampant with thoughts about potential suspects, although she tried to not think about it too much. The thought that somebody she knew could harbor these desires was unsettling. Then, there was a knock at the door that made them both jump.
“Oh, it's Mickey, I forgot!” Kelly said, leaping up and out of Matthew's arms. Kelly's husband looked perturbed and frowned.
“Are you sure that's a good idea? Do you really think you're up for this right now?” he asked. Kelly paused at the door with a thoughtful look on her face.
“Right now I'd just like to keep things as normal as possible. I could use the distraction anyway. I've been enjoying having a protégé. It's the best thing for me right now,” and with that she opened the door to find Mickey standing there looking more sharply dressed than usual.
He had had a haircut and was standing straighter than usual, although he still had his satchel slung over his shoulder. There was an overpowering scent of aftershave hanging in the air as well, stifling Kelly as she breathed. She welcomed the young man into the house and told him she just needed a second to get ready, and to wait in the lounge with Matthew.
When Mickey entered he stiffened and exchanged an awkward nod with Matthew, who eyed him suspiciously. Under the glare of Kelly's husband Mickey turned a shade of red and swallowed hard.
“How are you today, Mickey? Are you enjoying spending all this time with my wife?” Matthew asked.
“I...um...it's been a great help. I'm learning a lot from her,” he stammered out.
“Kelly tells me you don't have a girlfriend. I find that strange. I'd have thought a man who dresses up like that would do so for a woman,” Matthew continued.
Mickey flinched at the statement as he had told Kelly that in confidence and felt betrayed that she had shared his secret. He didn't get a chance to answer, though, as Matthew continued with his line of questioning. He stepped closer into the young man's personal space and, although Mickey was taller, Matthew was more intimidating. Mickey shrunk inside himself and felt the heat rise around him.
“You're a smart boy. Do you like riddles?” he asked pointedly. However, before Mickey could answer Kelly returned to the room to hear the last question and admonished Matthew.
“Leave him alone, he's just a kid,” Kelly said. Matthew glared at her, then Kelly led Mickey away.
“I'm sorry about that. We're just dealing with a...situation,” Kelly said when they were out of earshot of her husband. However, Mickey barely was listening to her as the previous words were ringing around his head.
'Just a kid.' The words stabbed at his heart and made him nauseous. He didn't want to be a kid to her. He wanted her to see him as he really was, a man. They walked into the studio and Mickey licked his lips, trying his hardest to summon up the courage he needed to go through with what he had planned. But at first Kelly spoke of art and they lost themselves in the world they both inhabited, splashing the paint on the canvas and creating worlds of their own, worlds that were a reflection of reality and the truths that inhabited the oblivion of the soul.
All while he painted Mickey gazed at her, and yet she did not see him. He listened to the melody of her voice and let himself drift away on the golden words. His heart raced, growing fiercer with every moment. He was sure he never would feel the same about anyone else again, or that anything could compare to the intensity of his ardor.
“Are you and Matthew having problems?” Mickey asked, almost scared to say the words but they were out of his mouth before he knew it.
Kelly stopped painting for a moment, surprised that he would ask such a question. While she had been inquisitive about his personal life he rarely had asked questions, and mostly had been content with letting her lead the conversation.
“No, not at all. I just received some news that had put a strain on us all,” she said, trying to be as vague as possible because she wanted to use this session to distract herself from the problem, not to talk about it anymore at length.
“Oh. Is there anything I can do to help you?”
“Just continue with your painting,” she said, smiling, and then excused herself from the room.
While she was gone Mickey reflected on her words and wondered if there was anything he could say to make her see him for what he really was. But then he supposed there was only one way she could see; if he showed her. So while she was gone he went to his satchel and pulled out the gift he had brought for her. When she returned, Kelly found him holding some sheets of paper.
“What have you got there?” she asked.
“They're, um, I made them for you. They’re for you. Just as a, sort of, well, to say thank you for everything you've done for me and the time you've taken and, well, yeah,” he said, holding out his hand and looking away, afraid of what may happen when she saw.
She took them from him, pursing her lips slightly as her curiosity rose, then, as she turned them over, a wide smile appeared on her face and made Mickey feel like the happiest person around.
“Mickey, these are wonderful, thank you!” she said.
She was looking at pencil drawings of herself. There were five in all, depicting a variety of expressions. Aside from a few self-portraits she had drawn when she was younger she never had seen herself like this. Seeing her reaction spurred Mickey on and with that he found he had a new source of courage. He approached her, standing directly in front of her as she looked at his gifts.
“I'm glad you like them. They aren't just to say thank you, though. They're also to say...well...the thing is Kelly I...I love you.”
The words had been building up inside of him for what seemed like an eternity and now that they were free it felt as though a weight had been lifted. His soul was soaring and he was so convinced of his feelings that he didn't conceive of anything other than her reciprocation. Yet he crashed to Earth as he heard dreaded words.
“Oh...that's so sweet of you Mickey, but I think you've got the wrong impression from me,” she said softly, looking at him with pity.
But then she thought about the secret admirer and looked at him with wariness. Her eyes glanced down at the paper and she stepped back in fear.
“No,” he began. Having revealed his feelings, he could not let them go so easily and he could not take “No” for an answer.
“I know it must seem strange because you just have been married but I never have known anyone like you. When I'm here, with you, it's like I belong. For the first time in my life I have found something that makes sense. You're the only person who understands me. Kelly, I can't believe you don't feel the same things I feel. Just trust in your feelings and we can be together.”
As he professed his love his tone grew more insistent for he couldn't understand why she was acting frightened when he was telling her the most wonderful news, but every one of his steps forward was met with a retreating step of her own. Then, seeing what she could not, he reached out an arm to steady her but she saw it as an aggressive move and lost her balance as she strove to escape.
She fell into an easel, knocking it over. At the last moment she regained her balance but it gave Mickey the chance to get close. He instinctively grabbed her arm, meaning to steady her, but in her current state it only frightened her more and she cried out.
Matthew had been keeping quiet in the lounge. There was something about Mickey that he couldn't quite put his finger on, so he didn't trust him. Still, he couldn't blame the kid, really. Being that close to a beautiful
woman would play havoc with the hormones of a young man. And deep down Matthew didn't really believe that Mickey was the admirer, it was surely someone older.
But then he had heard the clatter of the easel falling over and raced up the stairs, increasing his speed when he heard Kelly cry out. He burst into the studio to see Mickey with his arm on Kelly's arm. Matthew, eyes blazing with anger, pushed Mickey aside and roared as he wrestled the young boy to the ground.
Chapter 7
In the aftermath, Kelly was shaking and Mickey was protesting his innocence. Matthew had no patience for him though, and pressed his strong arm across Mickey's face, muffling his protestations.
“Are you alright?” he asked, turning his face toward Kelly. She nodded and pulled herself up.
“You are going to answer for what you've done to my wife,” Matthew said, staring directly into Mickey's face.
The young boy was shaking his head and panic was his eyes. Initially he struggled against Matthew but soon realized he was no match for the older man's strength.
“What happened here?” Matthew asked. It took a few moments but Kelly recounted the events and began regaining her composure.
“Do you think he's the one? Is he the one responsible for all this?”
Matthew raged, pinning Mickey to the floor so securely that Mickey felt the air being pushed out of his lungs. Kelly ran over and pulled Matthew off.
“No, I don't, I don't!” she said.
It took a few moments for her words to seep into Matthew's brain, but when they did he dusted himself off and got up.
Mickey lolled on the floor, gasping, trying to take in lungfuls of air. The raspy breath scratched his sore throat and he didn't understand what was happening. With what little strength he had Mickey crawled across the floor and cowered in a corner, curling up in a ball to protect himself from Matthew’s wrath.
“I'm sorry!” he bleated. “I didn't mean for any of this to happen!”
“What's he sorry for?” Matthew said.
His face was as hard as granite as was his tone. Kelly pointed toward the drawings. Matthew strode toward them and picked them up, then looked at them. Then, he looked at Kelly. She tilted her head and wore a sympathetic smile, and that look told him everything he needed to know. Still, he moved across the room and towered over Mickey.
“Hasn't anyone ever told you that it's bad form to give gifts to another man's wife?” he said, smirking.
Then, he held out his hand for the young boy to take. Mickey's eyes darted between Matthew and Kelly, as he tentatively reached out for Matthew's hand, taking it, as he was hauled up.
“I should go,” he said, bowing his head and making a beeline for the door. His muscles ached but that pain was dull compared to the shame that swelled within.
“Wait, we should explain what's going on,” Kelly said, placing her hand on her head.
There was a dull ache throbbing inside and she didn't know how to get rid of it. The fear she had experienced when Mickey professed his feelings for her had dissipated. Yet, it had left remnants of an unsettling feeling. She hated feeling such fear, such vulnerability, and such mistrust, especially in her own home. The thought that Mickey could have been the secret admirer struck her as absurd now. He was just a kid with a silly crush. Which of them hadn't had experienced something like that before once in their lifetime? Kelly remembered a time back when she was younger when she thought for sure that she was meant to marry her history teacher.
In a way they had created their own worlds in which the illusion was more powerful than rational thought. She wondered if it was just the artist’s way of thinking or was it something that resided within every human? Kelly wasn't sure, but it convinced her that whomever the admirer was they had created a twisted world, and the thoughts they must have had about her...She squirmed as a feeling of revulsion crawled over her skin, feeling like a million spiders swarming over her.
Matthew hung his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. This was affecting everybody deeply. Mickey still looked dumbfounded and that did not change as the two adults led him back down into the lounge where they sat him down on the sofa. Kelly went to the kitchen to grab drinks while Matthew waited patiently. The drawings that Mickey had given Kelly, depicting a woman staring into nothingness, were left in the studio, having fallen to the floor.
When Kelly returned she and Matthew sat together with their hands tightly holding one another. Matthew began to speak, but Kelly quickly interrupted him and took over.
“Mickey, recently there have been some notes and riddles left around town. These have been meant for me. There's somebody out there who is obsessed and seems to think that their destiny is to be with me, that we have some sort of cosmic connection. I do not know why they have chosen this time to display their feelings but it can't be a coincidence that it started at our wedding. I only found out about this today and as you can imagine it made me feel paranoid and frightened. I'm sure you didn't mean any harm by what you did but I'm sure you can understand why I reacted the way I did.”
Mickey's face was aghast. “I had no idea,” he said, the color draining from his cheeks, “and I promise you that I'm not that person. I could never...would never...”
“Wouldn't you?” Matthew said with a cold, hard stare. Kelly gave him an admonishing look. Mickey looked humble, bowing his head.
“Of course you wouldn't. I know you don't feel like you fit in anywhere and you're lonely but you have to look at this situation rationally. You can see that I'm married, and I would hope you can see how happy I am with Matthew. We're in love, and I know you think you'll never feel anything like the way you feel about me. But love is more than just having things in common with someone, or feeling like they’re rescuing you from loneliness. Love is...it's more than that,” she said, and smiled at Matthew.
“And the thing about it is that it's hard sometimes. You fight and you argue and you're scared, but love pulls you through. It gives you the strength to face all that together, but it has to be earned. I just want to say I am very flattered by your gesture and your feelings but I think they are misplaced. There is nobody else I would rather be with than Matthew.”
As she spoke she kept her tone gentle and soothing. Mickey's face turned beetroot red and he could barely look at Kelly. Matthew, sitting by her side, squeezed her hand tightly at certain points in her speech, reminding her that he felt exactly the same way as she did.
“I'm so sorry,” Mickey began in a low, barely audible voice. “I guess I got a little carried away with things and I had no idea all this was going on. I can't imagine how you feel right now and I've just...I've made such a fool of myself,” he laughed bitterly. “Just par for the course, I guess.”
“We all make fools of ourselves when it comes to matters of the heart. That's part of the risk, and the fun,” Matthew said with a twinkle in his eyes.
Mickey looked up and the corners of his mouth flickered into a thin smile. Matthew had softened now that he had seen how guilty Mickey looked. Although he was smarting from Mickey's overtures to his wife, Matthew recognized a gentler touch was needed and that the kid didn't mean any harm.
“But,” Kelly said, “it does raise a few questions about what we're doing together. When I offered to be your mentor I thought I could help you reach your potential and maybe offer some words of wisdom in your personal life as well. I fear I've actually had a negative impact in that area and your feelings for me clouded your judgment. I would like to continue working with you but I think you need to look at what you want out of this. If it's going to be too distracting to work with me then that's not going to be good for either of us.”
“I understand,” Mickey said in a low voice. He rose from the sofa and barely could look Kelly in the eye.
“I'm sorry again for all the trouble I've caused. I hope you get your problem sorted out. I'll, um, I'll have to think it about over the next few days.” With that he excused himself and left Kelly and Matthew alone.
“What do you want to do now?” Matthew asked.
“I suppose I should go and have a talk with Ellen,” Kelly replied in a defeated tone.
Matthew offered to drive her to the cafe but Kelly declined his offer, which brought nothing but consternation from him.
“I don't want this to affect my life. I don't need chaperoning around. I'm only going to the cafe. I can handle it. I appreciate the fact that you're worried but it's not going to do me any good to be constantly looking over my shoulder and fearing what might happen. The best thing for me is to try to continue like normal.” Her tone was strong and there was determination in her eyes so Matthew relented.
When she reached the cafe Kelly remained in the car for a few moments, glancing around to see if she saw any sign of someone lurking in the shadows. However, her eyes were playing tricks on her. There seemed always to be something in her peripheral vision, but when she turned her head to look in its direction it would disappear.
The world seemed as though it was closing in on her and she felt entirely uncomfortable, with a claustrophobic feeling stifling her heart. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and finally exited the vehicle, ignoring the warning voice careening through her head. Despite her insistence that she wanted to act normally, she did rush to enter the cafe, feeling at risk in the openness of the night.
The cafe was busy so Kelly slipped into a table in the corner, making sure to watch everyone carefully. The familiar faces were once friendly. Yet, now they were ominous. She wondered what secrets lurked behind the eyes. Ellen caught sight of Kelly and excused herself from the bar, leaving it in the capable hands of one of her helpers. She walked over to Kelly and sat down, expressing concern that she was out by herself.
“If I can't even come here then what good is it to be alive? I don't want to let this person win and have me locked up in my own home. Besides, something happened tonight and I want this to be over once and for all.”
