Her mind reeled with the impact of what he’d said, and she slid back down onto the hard stone bench and looked up at him in astonishment.
‘A thank-you present? I don’t expect a present, Mark. I’m just doing my job—your publisher is already paying me a great deal of money to be here.’
‘Then think of it as a bonus. From the family.’
‘The family? You mean the family who doesn’t know who my father is? That family?’
Mark tapped his forefinger against his lower lip as he nodded, and then broke into a smile at her stunned face. ‘Yup. I loved what you said about having your own writer’s cottage, hidden away in the woodland. Well, I have woodland on the Belmont estate. Beech woods, oak, maple and hornbeam. And they are beautiful. Stunningly beautiful, in fact. Which got me thinking that clever people who write children’s stories—’ he tapped her on the end of the nose ‘—might care to test out one of the cottages to see if they work as country retreats for artists and writers. What do you say, Lexi? Are you willing to take the risk and give it a go?’
In the absolute stillness of the secret place the air was filled with the sound of nature: flying insects in the olive groves on the other side of the footpath, and birds calling on the clifftops where they nested. But Lexi did not hear the seabirds. She was way too busy fighting to keep breathing in a controlled manner.
Because they both knew that he wasn’t just talking about renting a cottage. Oh, no.
Mark lowered his body onto the bench next to her and stretched out his long legs towards the sea wall, his splayed fingers only inches from hers.
One side of his throat was lit rosy pink by the fading sun as he twisted his body to face her, apparently oblivious to the damage he was causing to the fine fabric of his trousers, which stretched to accommodate the muscled thighs below.
‘What do you say?’ he repeated, his blue eyes locked on her face, his voice low and intense, anxious. ‘Would you be interested in moving into my world? Say yes. Say you’ll run away from the city and come and write your children’s stories in one of my cottages. Trust me, I will make sure that your new home has everything you could possibly want. It’ll be so perfect that you’ll never want to leave.’
Trust him? Trust him with her life? Her future? Her love?
‘Why me?’ she asked, her voice almost a whisper.
His response was to slide his long, strong fingers between hers and lock them there. Tight. A wide grin of delight and happiness cracked his face.
‘For the last five months I’ve done everything I can to avoid going back to my home. You’ve helped me see that Belmont Manor is where I belong. I can’t run away from home forever. But it’s missing one thing which would make it truly special.’ He flashed a cheeky smile. ‘The woman I’m looking at right now.’
Her dream of finishing her stories.
Her own home with someone who loved her.
This amazing man was offering her the chance she had been waiting for, working towards every second since she’d started writing down her grandmother’s children stories all those years ago. This man she’d met only a few days ago, yet she felt she’d known him all her life.
He was holding her dream out to her, confident that she could do it. All she had to do was say yes and it would be hers.
Lexi leaned back and her sides pressed against the stone.
She inhaled a deep breath, trying to process words when his body was only inches away from her own, leaning towards her, begging her to hold him, kiss him, caress him.
She swallowed hard down a burning throat and tried to form a sensible answer.
‘Belmont Manor? I don’t understand. I thought you couldn’t wait to leave your father and run your own life in the city?’
‘It dawned on me that I have to talk to my family about the important things in my life now and then. Strange concept. But I’m getting used to the idea and it might just work. And of course there is one final reason why you are the only writer I would ask to test out my writers’ retreat.’
Lexi let out a long slow breath as his fingertips moved over her forehead and curled around the layers of her hair before caressing her neck in slow, languorous circles.
‘Why is that?’ she whispered, almost frightened at what he might say next.
‘It’s not every day that I get the chance to make a girl’s dream come true. I want to read your stories to my nephews one day. Will you let me into your life to help you do that?’
Suddenly it was all too much for her to take in.
Let her into his life? Make her dream a reality because her cared for her?
She looked out towards the distant horizon, where the calm ocean formed a line with the apricot sky, and was instantly transported into her happy dream of what life could be like. Writing in her little wooden retreat in the forest all day. And then maybe the tantalising prospect of being with Mark every evening, sharing their lives, their dreams and their hopes for the future.
Future. The reality of what he was proposing hit her hard.
Idiot girl! Who was she kidding? They had no future.
By looking down and taking both of Mark’s hands in hers she managed to regain some composure so words became possible.
‘This is a wonderful offer, and I’m sure that I would love it there, but you know I have to work as a contract writer to pay the bills, and I can’t accept your charity. Or your pity.’
His fingers meshed into hers and he raised one hand to his lips, gently kissed her knuckles before replying.
‘Last I heard writers can work from home and be quite successful. You’re so talented, Lexi—you can do this. I know you can.’
The pressure in her chest was almost too much to bear as she looked into his face and saw that he meant it. He believed in her!
‘You’d do that? You’d put up with having me hanging around the place? Even with my horrible taste in music and annoying habits?’
‘If it meant I could be with you? In a heartbeat.’
Mark’s words seem to echo inside her head. Her chest and her whole body were filled with their overwhelming joy and deep love.
She forced herself to look up into his face, and what she saw there took her breath away. Any doubt that this man cared about her was wiped away in an instant.
No pity, no excuses, no apologies. Just a smouldering inner fire. Focused totally on her.
‘And now you’ve gone quiet. I find this worrying,’ he joked.
‘I can’t think, Mark. This is all too new and terrifying. I need to try and get my head around what’s going on, make sense of it all. Can you understand that?’
‘What’s going on is that you have come to mean a great deal to me—more than I could ever have expected. Not for one minute did I believe that anyone could reach inside me and open up my heart, make me vulnerable again.’ He grabbed hold of both her hands and held them tight against his chest. ‘It’s taken me years to build up so many layers of defences. This suit of armour I’ve created is even more impressive than the one standing in the hall at Belmont Manor. But I needed it so no one could hurt me and break my heart again. And then you walked into my life—my empty, busy and on-the-surface so-successful life—and you smiled at me. And ever since that moment my life hasn’t been my own any more. It just took a while for the message to get through.’
He must have seen the terror in her eyes and felt her fast breath on his neck, because Mark took a second before smiling and lowering his voice.
‘And now I’m doing it again. Rushing ahead of myself just to keep pace with you.’
He kissed her fingertips one by one.
‘Don’t you understand, Lexi? You’ve taken me hostage. Heart and soul and mind. You’ve become part of me. And you feel the same. I hope—no, I know that I am part of you, so please don’t try and deny it. Because I can see it in your eyes and feel it in your touch.’
And suddenly she couldn’t stand to look into his eyes and say what she had to. It was just too painful
.
His presence was so powerful, so dominating, that she slid her fingers away from his and pushed herself off the stone bench and across a few steps to the cliff wall.
Sucking in cool air, she looked down the steep bank towards the sea below, to the crashing waves on the boulders at the foot of the tall white cliff to her right.
She could jump into Mark’s arms and leap into the deep, warm ocean of life with him, knowing that he would hold her up and not let her drown. But one day the waves of his obligations would crash over their heads and they would both drown in a sea of bitterness and despair from which there was no going back.
She couldn’t bear it. Not when Mark had a chance to find someone else and have a happy married life with children to carry his name and his heritage to more generations.
She loved this man too much to allow him to sacrifice everything he held sacred. Just to be with her.
The very thought that he’d offered her that amazing gift filled her heart and soul with happiness and a sweet contentment that they’d at least shared these few precious days together. That was going to have to be enough.
Mark was standing behind her now, and she felt the light touch of his hands on each side of her waist.
Lexi immediately pulled his hands closer to her body, so that she could grasp them to her chest as it rose and fell. His knuckles rested on the exposed skin of her throat and neck, and the heat of the delicate touch and the gentle pressure of his chest against the back of her dress warmed her body as nothing ever had before.
He was the flame that had set her world on fire, and she knew beyond any measure of doubt that no man could ever touch her heart the way Mark had.
He was the love of her life.
Which was precisely why she was going to have to walk away from him.
All she had to do now was turn around and tell him to his face.
Slowly, inch by inch, she lowered his hands and slid her fingers out, one by one, until they were only in contact at the fingertips, before turning around within the circle of his arms.
But she couldn’t do it. She surrendered to her desire for one last time and pressed her head onto his chest, her arms around his neck, hanging on for dear life, pulling his head lower.
His eyes flickered at her touch, and she had to blink away tears as his nose pressed against her cheek, his mouth nuzzling her upper lip as his fingers moved back to clasp the back of her head, drawing her closer to him.
His hard body was against her, rock-solid, safe and secure, and so loving that the overall effect was more than intoxicating.
And then his mouth was pressing hotter and hotter onto hers, his pulse racing below the fine cloth as he pushed her lips apart and explored her mouth. One of his hands made slow circles on the small of her back, then higher, while the other caressed the skin at the base of her skull so gently that she thought she would go mad with wanting Mark so much, needing him to know how much she cared.
She felt carried away on a sea of love and deep connection that she could happily drown in and not regret for a moment.
Maybe that was why she broke away first, leaning back just far enough so that he could brush away the glint of tears away from her cheeks.
‘Hey. Don’t cry, gorgeous. I’m going to be right there with you, every step of the way.’
And he was kissing her again, pressing his soft lips against her throat and tilting his head so he could reach the sensitive skin on her neck.
Her eyes closed and she leant back just a little farther, arching her spine, supported by his long fingers as they slid down to her hips. Lexi stopped breathing and inwardly screamed in frustration because her body was enjoying itself far too much for her to reply. And her heart and mind sang.
She closed her eyes tight shut and focused on the sound of her own breathing. Only it was rather difficult when the man she wanted to be with was holding her so lovingly, keeping her steady on her wobbly legs, her toes clenched with tension inside her shoes.
Tempting her. Tempting her so badly she could taste it. She wanted him just as much as he wanted her. This was going to be their last night together, and …
No. If she gave in now there would be no going back. She would never be able to walk away. And neither would he. No matter how much she wanted to stay in his arms, she had to be brave for Mark’s sake.
She just had to find the strength to get through this.
Lexi inhaled slowly, then whispered into Mark’s shoulder, ‘I don’t think that would be a very good idea.’ She dropped back so he would have to stop kissing her. ‘In fact,’ she continued in a trembling voice, ‘it might be better if I started packing. I have an early flight tomorrow.’
The air escaped from his lungs in a slow, shuddering hot breath against her forehead.
It took her a few seconds to form the words she had to say. She was almost too afraid.
Her voice stayed calm, despite the thumping storm of confusion and resignation building in her chest. ‘You know why we don’t have a future together, Mark. You need to have a son to inherit your title and I can’t give you one. And nothing we say or feel is going to change that fact.’
As soon as the words left her mouth she regretted them. The man who had been holding her so lovingly, unwilling to let her move out of his touch, stepped back. Moved away. Not physically, but emotionally.
The precious moment was gone. Trampled to fragments.
His face contorted with pain and closed down before her eyes. The warmth was gone, and she cursed herself for being so clumsy.
She had lost him.
‘I was never supposed to be Baron Belmont,’ Mark replied, his voice low and rough. ‘That was my brother’s job. Ed was the heir apparent, my parents’ pride and joy. As far as my parents were concerned Edmund was the golden boy, the eldest son, whom they’d groomed since junior school to take over the company business and the estate. So when he died … it destroyed the family plans completely. And broke my mother’s heart forever. It was as simple as that. The entire family collapsed.’
He looked into Lexi’s face and smoothed back her hair with his fingertips.
‘I was the second son, Lexi. As different from Edmund and my father as it was possible to be. I had to leave my world behind and take over the obligations that came with being the next Baron Belmont. I had no choice. I had to take over as the next heir. And everything that comes with it. Including making sure that I married early and produced a son to carry on the name.’
He closed his eyes. ‘Working on my mother’s biography has shown me just how much I’ve sacrificed to take his place—and how much I need to claw back my right to personal happiness. And that means you, Lexi.’
‘You know that I can’t have children.’ Her voice quivered as she formed the syllables, and she only just managed the words before her voice failed. ‘But you can. And that is why I have to let you go.’
Mark shook his head slowly and his chin dropped so their foreheads were touching. His breath was hot against her skin as the words came stumbling out. ‘I can see where this is going, but you are so wrong. I want you and only you. Can you understand that?’
Lexi took a slow breath and squeezed her eyes tight shut, willing away the tears. ‘And I want you. So very much. I’d given up hope of ever finding someone to love. But you need to have a son of your own. Somewhere out there is a very lucky woman you can cherish and who will be able to give you that son. And it’s not me.’
‘Another woman? Oh, Lexi.’
He straightened and drew back, physically holding her away from him. Her hands slid down his arms, desperate to hold on to the intensity of their connection, and her words babbled out in confusion and fear.
‘We had a wonderful few days together, Mark. And I am so grateful to you for that.’
He’d turned away from her now, and paced back towards the bench, one hand clenched onto the back of his neck
‘Grateful? Is that it? You’re grateful? How can you walk away from what we
have? I know you care about me, Lexi—please don’t try and deny it.’
The bitterness in his voice was such a contrast to the loving man she’d just been holding that Lexi took a breath before answering. ‘I do care about you—more than I can say. Can’t you see? That’s why the last thing I want to do is trap you into a relationship which will end in bitterness and disappointment, no matter how hard we both try.’ She stepped forward and gently laid her hand on his arm as she looked into his face. ‘You know I’m right. You’re going to be a wonderful father, Mark. I just know it.’
She gulped away the burning sensation in her throat and looked into those wonderful eyes, so full of concern, and told him the truth—because nothing else would do.
‘This is breaking my heart, Mark. I can’t be with you any more. It’s time to escape this perfect fantasy and get back to our ordinary lives. And if you love me then you have to let me go, Mark. Let me go. While we still have our precious love intact.’
‘Lexi!’
The only thing that stopped Mark from running after her down the gravel footpath that led back to the villa was the heartbreak in her words and the unavoidable truth that he did love her—enough to stand, frozen, and watch her walk away.
Lexi sat in the very front row of the hydrofoil, facing the bow window at the front, so that her head was right in front of the TV showing cartoons with the sound off.
Her once-white linen trousers were a total mess, her blouse worse, and the only shoes she had with her were the flat tan leather sandals that Mark had bought her after they’d shared lunch that day in Gaios.
The elegant Greek woman sitting to her left was totally absorbed with cuddling and kissing a black toy poodle with red bows in its curls, which was getting ready to doze off for the hour-long journey.
Lexi was vaguely aware of tourists with their suitcases being loaded on at the harbour, filling up the seats behind her, their voices a blend of English and Italian accents. Some were yawning with the happy contentment of a sunny early morning call, but most were chatting away, couples and families enjoying the last day of their holiday before flying home.
My Greek Island Fling Page 14
