This went on all night until I finally slept on the floor. I have no idea who the men were, or whether it was the same persistent man. When I got up the next morning, everyone was gone. Maybe that was the way the Kennedy crowd did sex—anonymously and with plausible deniability.
A political campaign arouses intense sexual power. I think everyone involved is so excited by their daily illusions of moving around the furniture in the White House that they need to express that illusionary power through sex. Also, it is accepted. It’s like being on location when making a movie. No commitment is necessary and everyone is in it together—literally.
I am basically a serial monogamist. One man at a time until the relationship is over. But once during a campaign (and I was involved with many), I decided I would be daring like everyone else. I had sex with three men in one day. It was stupid and brought me no satisfaction. At the end of that day, someone set the campaign headquarters on fire. It certainly wasn’t me.
It’s puzzling what illusions of grandeur do to the sex drive. There is a compulsion to be joined with another person. I wonder what the seven chakras look like all lit up during a campaign! No one sleeps, no one really eats, and no one feels responsible for their own personal behavior because everyone feels they are contributing to something bigger, above and beyond themselves. The candidate usually needs to feel he is tending to his loyal flock by propagating his masculine prowess. And the flock feels it needs to reflect the candidate’s ability to be in charge by submitting to him. There’s also a subliminal message that you are not really part of the flock if you abstain. The shock of reality comes after you win or lose. If you win, then it’s a competition for acknowledgment (appointed positions, etc.). If you lose, you just go home to lick your wounds and hope you are welcomed back to the place you came from.
Another reason sexual expression may be intense during a campaign is that every individual involved is living with a sense of him- or herself as being dedicated to a higher cause. You believe in the candidate and what he stands for. You believe you can change the world. You believe you have a kind of power you never felt before. I guess that translates in a physical way into SEX and release.
The press corps covering the campaign always lurks, always watches, and sometimes, whether invited to or not, gets in on the action. We’ve all heard stories, particularly relating to the Kennedys, but for both the watchers and the watchees to be part of the same action must play havoc with how they do their jobs. The “people out there” wouldn’t approve, although all of them would participate unless they were intimidated by what they secretly crave: sex and glamour and power. So the journalists and the glamorous campaigns they cover are doing one thing and speaking another. That’s when you understand that sex is the great motivator for hypocrisy. I’ve never understood why. Why is it such a subject for annihilation of character? Why doesn’t that fall to murder, greed, lying, and cheating? Why does anyone care about what somebody else does with his or her sexuality?
I Am Not Over the Founding Fathers
The intensity of my feelings about the birth of America was explained when I allowed myself to believe that I had been there when it happened. It also explains my spiritual leanings and my political activism in regard to what I believe this country stands for.
Many books have been written about the people who were part of our Constitutional Convention, and the information they reveal feels very familiar to me. Two books, one by Walter Jenkins and another by Walter Semkiw, did a study of the past lives of famous people and they specifically revealed what they believe was one of my past identities. Neither author knew the other. They both claimed through channeled sources that I was Robert Morris. Robert Morris has been called the forgotten patriot because he underwrote a great part of the Revolution and yet died penniless in a pauper’s prison. Potentially being a man in the American Revolution was not surprising to me. I knew I hadn’t been sewing flags.
And I have always had a strange fear of being penniless and imprisoned. I didn’t know where that came from. It’s possible that now I do know. There are many other similarities. Morris possessed psychic gifts that I have, too, if I allow myself to remain open. Morris shared a love of philosophy and investigation of metaphysics with his father, just as I have. Morris was good with money, as I am, until he spent it all on the Revolution. Morris moved on the spur of the moment. He never liked to plan. Neither do I, much to the consternation of my family and friends.
He was extremely punctual, as I am, and I am very judgmental of people who are late (as I’ve said, New Mexico is a good test of patience for me). Morris loved the sea. I have lived by the Pacific (in Malibu) ever since I left the East Coast. I keep a place there still. One of the reasons I moved to New Mexico is because I sense the Pacific coast will be inundated by a tsunami. I don’t know when. But it will happen as a result of an undersea earthquake.
Morris was an inveterate traveler, as I have been. He built his house on a mountaintop. So have I. There was a touch of P. T. Barnum in Morris. That is surely true of me. He was very curious about China and sent a ship there to explore trading possibilities. I formed a delegation to go with me to China. But most of all, I am dedicated to the American Constitution. Morris was an important delegate to the Constitutional Convention.
In one of my books I wrote: “The men who signed the Bill of Rights and drew up the Constitution said they wanted to form a new republic based on spiritual values. And those values they believed in went all the way back to the beliefs of Hindu scriptures and Egyptian mysticism. That’s why they put the pyramid on the dollar bill—in fact the dollar bill and the Great Seal are full of spiritual symbols that link way back to long before the revolution, and all those pre-Christian beliefs had to do with reincarnation. . . .”
I mention this because many of our Founding Fathers were transcendentalists and 33rd Degree Masons. They were our original politicians, yet none of the people in politics these days seem to know the origins of our democracy. They spoke of having a vision of enlightenment for the new nation. They fashioned the Great Seal out of sacred geometry because they were Masons. The city of Washington was modeled along sacred geometric lines. We have metaphysical roots underpinning our national identity.
Freemasons, at the most basic level, believed in the fundamental metaphysics of the Enlightenment. They believed that cosmic truths could be applied to creating harmony in a new society. They believed people could be self-governing and self-correcting. They warned against being ignorant of ignorance. They cautioned us against losing the foundations of our spiritual identity.
The Masonic sacred geometry we see in physical form in Washington, D.C., and in the great cathedrals of Europe dates back to Solomon’s temple. Sacred geometry is based on the harmonics of space, sound, light, and the re-creation of the principles of the cosmos and nature, which are also duplicated in the human body and human consciousness.
The Founding Fathers believed that the ability to reason was defined as the ability to see the divine patterns which preexist in nature. On the Great Seal there is the eagle, which was known as the bird of Zeus (God). The bird stood for the incarnational principle of the deity coming to the field of action (Earth) and into the field of opposites (war and peace). In one of the eagle’s talons he holds thirteen arrows (war). In the other a laurel branch with thirteen leaves (peace). The eagle is looking in the direction of the laurel, indicating a desire for diplomatic solutions. Nine feathers are in the eagle’s tail (nine is divine power descended to Earth). Over the eagle’s head are thirteen stars arranged in the form of the Star of David or Solomon’s Seal. They represent the Zodiac, including God, and the thirteen original colonies.
The Rainbow Body of the Iroquois (seven colors representing seven chakras) signified the complexity of long life but a prophecy of peace. The Founding Fathers felt a chromatic link between music and the rainbow and the scales of sound and color. They said the Creator instilled that harmony in each of us, that these truths were sel
f-evident. Much of our Constitution was based on the Iroquois Nation’s system of self-governing and self-correcting. As above, so below. The astrological Zodiac was self-governing and self-correcting.
I have been working on understanding these principles since I was a very young girl and will continue to do so until I transition into what comes next. When I visited Monticello, I made friends with the curator and he let me sleep overnight in Jefferson’s bedroom. There was thunder and lightning that night. I sat very still in the center of the banquette trying to feel Jefferson. I couldn’t remember the relationship I’d had with him, when (and if) I was his contemporary, Robert Morris. There were copies of his Jeffersonian Bible on a table. I sat reading his denunciation of religion, ducking each time the thunder and lightning roared outside the window. A pair of his glasses rested beside a candle. Just above his desk there was a loft where he and Sally Hemings sometimes slept. No one would have known they were sleeping in the cavelike loft. I didn’t go in the loft. Too invasive, I thought.
In between lightning strikes I felt a presence. It was quiet, but commanding. Then I heard a whistle. I whirled around. Nothing there. Soon after, I fell asleep on the banquette. In the morning, the guards came in and gently woke me. One of them looked out the window, then back at me.
“Jefferson walked last night,” he said. “He walked and whistled.”
“How often does that happen?” I asked.
The guard smiled. “Every night. But last night he knew you were here.”
I’ll never forget my visit to Jefferson’s home. The guard said he had loved it so much he never wanted to leave it. As I was preparing to go on my way, the curator handed me a small package. Enclosed was a glass case and inside was a single lock of Jefferson’s hair. I still have it. The “authorities” knew I had it and wanted to check the DNA bloodline from it. But I wouldn’t give it to them. As I waved goodbye, one of the guards waved goodbye and said, “We’ll say hello to the great gentleman for you because he walks and whistles every night.”
I’m sure I was there at the birth of our nation, and when I look at what has become of our original dream I simply can’t fathom it. It’s time we looked at how “self-evident” we’ve become.
I hope I don’t end up penniless and in prison again for speaking out about how far off our transcendentalist track we’ve wandered.
It’s Not Over Yet . . .
I am very happy in my life. I live alone with my Terry and my friends who come in and out of my beautiful home in Santa Fe. I teach seminars in spirituality and run a Spiritual Boot Camp at my ranch. I still work in films—when a good one comes along. I’m back on the stage, appearing in theaters around the country in an evening that is a mixture of show business, movie business, and Is-ness business (spirituality and metaphysics). It’s all the same thing really. I have learned, profoundly, in my life that I create my own reality every minute of the day and night. I enjoy interacting with the live audience.
After so much searching and traveling, I can’t get over the belief that the philosophic and spiritual cultures of ancient Greece, Egypt, and India were superior to our mechanistic, technological, and cynically skeptical culture of today.
We have forgotten the haunting truths of mysticism. The mystics were supposedly channeling the truths from the gods. Much of what they taught contributes now to the divine secrets of the sciences. Science is becoming freer to include the spiritual aspects of reality. It admits more and more that there is a spiritual ignorance we must get over, that we all must feel free of ridicule as we pursue truth. After all, science exists mainly to explain God and reality.
But there is so much to get over in pursuit of our freedom of thought.
The memories of our lives as spiritual beings seem to have vanished from our objective minds as we focus predominantly upon making money with the political and commercial circus. So many people feel ignorant of their purpose in life, ignorant of what lies beyond the mystery of death, ignorant of why we are here. We know somehow that our souls are inextricably bound to the divine, but we can’t seem to touch the connection. We are ignorant of our ignorance.
Intellectuals and hard evidence scientists have appointed themselves the final judges of all knowledge, both human and divine. Most of them believe that mystics are delusional and saints are religious neurotics. Most say God is a primitive superstition, that the universe is an accident with no particular harmony, that nothing exists after death, and certainly we don’t live again.
People everywhere feel ground down by a soulless culture which heralds competition, money, and fame. They long for some kind of enlightenment and meaning within themselves. They are sensing that commercial materialism is actually impractical, that there is some other truth that is more satisfying and long-lasting.
People who once felt perfectly content living in the material world, now confronted with its sinking economics, are seeking happiness elsewhere but don’t know where to look. We sense that it lies within the soul’s understanding, but we get no reinforcement for the search. From experience, I know that those who attempt such a search are often ridiculed.
Most modern scientists and academics regard thinking as a purely intellectual process. Yet the power to speculate in more feeling and intuitive ways will be the saving grace of humanity. I believe the supreme source of power is the unfolding of the spirit within each of us, the God-force within.
The ancient philosophers knew that living according to the power within superseded the intellectual powers. The power within was the yin. The intellectual power was the yang. We know that the entire universe is made up of yin and yang, masculine and feminine, thrust and receive, night and day. The balance of the two can be the foundation of the New Philosophy, the New Spirituality, the New Age.
No one can live in happiness without finding and articulating a spiritual philosophy for themselves. Neither can a nation. And that spiritual philosophy must dedicate its existence to advancing policies that are consistent with its core beliefs. That is what our Founding Fathers dedicated themselves to.
Our modern world makes a philosophy of its own fabrications. Its gods are of its own fashioning. We have forgotten how much we actually know. We believe that the physical reality is all there is. But an emphasis on our inner spirituality would lead us into a land of peace where the knowledge within would be given outer expression. Every blade of grass would be respected for its being. And its purpose would be self-evident to us. The yearning of humanity would find its wisdom in the soul of every living entity. The struggle from the womb to the tomb would have meaning and purpose and wisdom. The physical is not the true measure of truth.
The soul reaches out to the stars, knowing it is not alone, and our soul’s spirit mingles with all there is in the cosmos. That is when we “feelingly” comprehend the wonders of the universe. What we didn’t know was only what we were not conscious of.
We are reborn when we see what we are looking at. The barriers are down. All mysteries are returned to us as answers. They permeate everything within us. Then our reality changes. Through the spiritualization of our emotions we would see the real sadness of the human race and what it could be if we looked within and without ourselves with open hearts.
That has been my experience. I see the possibilities beyond the stars, possibilities that could unite us with our neighbors and with our own human potential if we would only acknowledge their existence. Free spirituality would release us from our materialistic bondage and from the restrictions of religion. We would move into the light, into being transcendentalists, into manifesting that which our Founding Fathers dreamed. We, like nature and the mystics, would be self-governing in our connection to the Divine. E pluribus unum. Out of many comes one. A new order and a new age begin, and the deity, which is both male and female equally, is reflected in each of our higher selves.
Our own perfection is yet to be reached, but that is what gives us a purpose in being alive.
I will not get over this.
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I’m Over All That Page 15
