by Drayton Alan
“Close, but it’s dat way,” She pointed to the left. “Let me take you dere, it’s not far.”
“Thanks, Idonna. I hope it’s no trouble. I still get turned around in here.”
“No trouble, follow after me den.”
Idonna started toward the auditorium through a crowded area of the market and toward a passageway that lead to the auditorium.
As they were going, Kale thought he saw Quibbler showing some kind of device to two big men for a moment through the crowd. He almost said something to Idonna, but he didn’t want to detour on his way to practice. Besides, Quibbler was always selling some gadget to someone, like that thing he’d put in Kale’s arm. He’d told him it was supposed to boost his confidence, but Kale hadn’t noticed himself any more confident. Kale couldn’t quite remember everything Quibbler had even said. That situational transcoder device was just another of his toad-licking scams. Well, Kale hadn’t fallen for it. Still best to steer clear of slimy Mr. Quibbler.
The crowd cleared briefly and Kale looked over to where Quibbler had been making his deal. The two big men were now holding the device and Quibbler was pointing in Kale’s direction.
Kale laughed. He was about to say something to Idonna when she stopped walking suddenly. They had just entered an empty passageway that connected to the auditorium.
Idonna spun around, and much to Kale’s surprise, he saw that the same two men who’d been with Quibbler were now standing directly behind them in the secluded passage.
One of the men gave a disarming smile, and said, “Hey, sorry to bother you, but our mutual friend, Max Quibbler, told us you guys are from the Starship Cosmos?”
Idonna’s guard was up, she sensed something was wrong. Hearing Quibbler’s name had only confirmed it. “What’s dat to me? I don’t go ’round botherin’ people while dey shop. You want to meet people from da Cosmos, you can go visit duty sergeant at da docking port. He can give you any information you need.” She grabbed Kale’s hand and walked away from the men at a brisk pace.
The other man who had been behind the first, produced a stun gun, and fired it at each of them. Kale fell to the ground shaking from the jolt. Idonna, who’d shrugged off the stun, lunged at the men. She connected with the closest, smashing his head with a big fist. The man went down, but his partner turned up the weapons stun level and fired again. This time Idonna went down shaking.
Kale watched, unable to move. The man got up from the floor and approached massaging his jaw. He pulled off their I.D. tags and slid them into a small shielded box to prevent their locator function from working. Then he slapped teleport tags on them. The air shimmered, and he found himself laying on the floor of a strange dimly lit room. Idonna was a few feet away.
Kale’s stun slowly wore off, and soon he could get to his knees. As soon as he could, he went over to Idonna and checked she was okay. She was still stunned, but her eyes were blinking and her body shivered. He took a blanket off a nearby cot and covered her in case she was cold.
He looked around the room. It was rather small and plain. It had two cots and an open toilet seat that reclassified the room as a jail cell. Unless these people liked public pooping.
After a few minutes, Idonna regained control of her muscles and stood up. But she banged her head on the low ceiling of the tiny cell.
Laughter came over the ship’s intercom.
“What’s all dis, den? What’s with you men stealing honest folk from their shopping and hauling dem away like dat?”
A voice came over the intercom. “Good morning. Welcome aboard Rogue Airways. I’m your kidnapper John Harrison. I’m sorry for the rushed pick-up, but sometimes our guests object to our destination and accommodations. So, we require a forced acceptance of our invitation.”
“What exactly is our destination?” Kale asked.
“You’re going to pay a visit to my current employer, Procurator Fresland. He has placed a rather large bounty on your head and I have the privilege of collecting it.”
“Bounty hunters, dat’s wonderful,” Idonna said. “So why you take me along, den? I don’t have no bounty on my head.”
“Well, we couldn’t leave you behind to blab to the Coalition about Kale’s disappearance. Now they will just assume it was two young lovers eloping.” The bounty hunter laughed as if he’d just made the funniest joke ever. “Besides, I don’t like getting sucker punched by a woman. You shouldn’t have done that. So, I decided to hand you over to the procurator. too. I’ll tell him you were an accomplish, maybe he will give me a small bonus.”
“It’s called an accomplice, not an accomplish,” Kale corrected.
The second bounty hunter laughed.
“What, really? How come nobody ever told me that? Okay, note taken, accomplice. So, what’s an accomplish?”
“That’s when you finish doing something and they give you a mint,” the second bounty hunter explained in a deep slow voice.
“I wasn’t asking you! Be quiet!” Harrison yelled.
“You seem like a reasonable fellow, this whole thing’s a misunderstanding,” Kale said. “Why not just drop us off at the next gas station and we’ll not say another word?”
“Save it kid, I don’t care. Besides it’s not possible; when Procurator Fresland hires you for a job he doesn’t accept excuses, only results. So, if I want to stay alive and breathing I gotta deliver you. We will arrive in about three days, meanwhile the cell’s replicator will give you food. Oh, and just for fun, I programmed it so it will only dispense tasteless gruel. I figured you’d have to be getting used to it. You are going to be in prison a long time.” Again, he laughed.
“Just one thing mon, so you know for da future,” Idonna said.
“What, are you going to hunt me down and kill me or something?” He laughed again.
“No, dat’s a given. I wanted you to know dat whatever happens to us. You will still not be da least bit funny, not even slightly, dat’s all. Might save you embarrassment someday.”
The second bounty hunter laughed again. “What, you’re agreeing with her?” Harrison said. The intercom shut off.
“Look like maybe you should’ve taken up dat Amazon princess offer of protection after all, den.” Idonna said.
Kale thought about the Lactosian princess Chesia’s offer and now tried to imagine if he’d said yes. No, that was a life sentence, maybe he would only get thirty years with the procurator.
With nothing else to do, Kale sat on his cot and went over his lines for the play. He wondered if rehearsal started on time without him.
Chapter 14
Lou went in to Belle’s office, he had gotten an angry message from the captain that Kale hadn’t shown up for rehearsal last night. This was puzzling since Kale had been working diligently on his part and he couldn’t imagine why he would miss the rehearsal.
“Belle, have you seen Kale this morning?”
“No, I haven’t. Did you ask Idonna?”
“She’s not in her office. Did she say where she went?”
“I haven’t seen her, either.” Belle started getting concerned.
“Well that’s strange, it’s not like either of them to be late. And there was no way the boy would have missed that rehearsal unless my little rant upset him.”
“Rant, sir?”
“I went off on the big-big picture thing. Do you think I scared him?”
“No, sir, I’ve heard your rant, it wouldn’t have changed his mind about the play. Besides, Idonna was talking about making a special meal for someone last night. She was going to the market to get fresh vegetables on Falcon and then meeting someone. Let me check her E-messages.”
Belle walked over to Idonna’s office and checked. Nothing had been touched since yesterday. Belle checked her display, Idonna had left a chat window open. She’d been talking to the engineer she was supposed to be making dinner for.
Belle got alarmed as she noticed that the end of the chat was filled with inquiries by the engineer. Asking why Idonna wasn�
�t home and standing him up for dinner. The man was upset at first, then later, the messages sounded hurt, until the one this morning had a worried tone.
“Idonna didn’t make her date last night, something’s happened,” Belle said.
“Computer, report location of Kale Butterly and Idonna Wanta?” the lieutenant asked.
“Yeoman Butterly departed ship at 18:05 yesterday, was last reported on Falcon Station, Sector Two, Hallway Seven B. His transponder stopped reporting at 18:50. Crewman Idonna Wanta left ship at 17:32 and was last reported on Falcon Station, Sector Two, Hallway Seven B. Her transponder stopped reporting at 18:50.”
“Computer, pull up a map of Falcon Station and locate Hallway Seven B,” the lieutenant said.
“That hallway connects the market to the auditorium,” Belle noted. “Kale was on his way to rehearsal and something happened.”
“Yeah, I.D. tags don’t just stop working. Not two of them in the same place and time. Someone shielded the chips from the network so no one would know where Kale and Idonna went.”
The lieutenant ordered the computer to file a missing person report for the ship and Falcon Station. He called the captain to explain his concern. The captain wasn’t sympathetic; missing janitors were becoming far too common for his comfort. He lectured Lou about his lack of discipline and criticized the lieutenant’s handling of his department. After a ten-minute lecture, Lou was finally able to get away from the man’s wrath. He pushed the disconnect button.
“Well, we won’t get any help from the captain,” he told Belle. “I guess I had mistaken his interest in Kale as genuine concern. I should’ve known better.”
Nigel and Chopi entered the shop and had overheard the tail end of the captain’s lecture.
“Kale’s missing?” Nigel said.
The lieutenant explained what they had discovered.
Nigel said one word: “Quibbler.” Everyone suddenly understood.
“Belle, where did you get that invitation for Procurator Fresland at my wedding? Glendena said she didn’t never invite him, everyone was shocked when he, well Kale, showed up.”
“Why did they let him attend then?” Belle asked.
“When a despotic ruler of an entire sector takes it upon himself to come to your wedding, you don’t make no fuss about his invite.”
“It was right there on the Lactosian station’s computer. Not too hard to find. How did it get there?” She looked at Nigel who just nodded.
“You’re saying Quibbler set this all up?”
“I think he sold Kale out to the Procurator for the reward. First, the man sells me out, then he sets up my rescue in such a way as to make a tidy profit from collecting the reward on the fella that rescues me. I talked to Glendena, she said Quibbler had even contacted her mom, ya know the queen and all, trying to sell her information about my whereabouts. But she won’t do business with slime like him again. Good thing she didn’t bite.”
“Wait,” the lieutenant said. “Quibbler set the whole thing up? Let’s pop over to Falcon and have a good hard-hitting conversation with old Mr. Quibbler. You guys coming with me?”
“Just hold up a minute,” Nigel said. “Quibbler is long gone. I tried to reach him this morning. Ya know, I’m startin’ to think his being in business with me an’ all was one of his scams.”
“Chopi sorry, Nigel.” Chopi patted Nigel on the shoulder tentatively, imitating someone who was giving consolation. Everyone had forgotten Chopi was standing there.
“Okay, well. I will not sit around while my best friends are hauled away by Fresland’s goons,” Belle said. “They don’t know who they’re messing with. I’m gonna go full black hat cyber-hacker on Quibbler. When I’m done with him, he won’t have pennies to rub.”
“Slow down a second there, Belle. Lets think this through. Fresland wouldn’t send his own people here, he’d use bounty hunters,” the lieutenant said. “That means if we can find out who they are and offer them more money, we might get Kale and Idonna back? Belle before you hack Quibbler, I need you to find those bounty hunters.”
The lieutenant took command of the search and recovery effort. The entire team worked together to see if they could rescue their friends, get a hold of Quibbler’s bank accounts, and bribe the bounty hunters. The odds were against them, and they had little time, but they did what they needed to do. It’s a shame it didn’t work.
Chapter 15
Failure was the only option. First, Quibbler was no slouch when it came to financial shenanigans; every account Belle found with his name on it had been cleaned out the day before. The man moved his money daily in some automated scheme to prevent being tracked and to get an unending supply of free toasters. The bounty hunters hadn’t exactly announced themselves when they arrived at Falcon Station either. The station’s logs showed two-hundred-and-thirteen ships registered to a Mr. Sam Johnson yesterday. So, either this Sam guy was a very rich fleet owner, or everyone used the same name when they filled out their station log forms.
The custodians didn’t have a chance; there was nothing they could do. Teamwork, friendship, honor, and good intentions weren’t enough to rescue their friends this time. That type of thing only ever happens in stories.
In desperation Nigel contacted the princess to explain what happened, who in turn explained it to the Procurator who wasn’t moved by the spirit of loyalty, friendship, honor, or any of that crap. Kale had impersonated him and the Procurator insisted on making an example of him. Some people are just jerks. Nigel spent ten minutes convincing his wife not to declare war on the man.
***
Kale and Idonna had tried to make themselves comfortable in the cramped cell of the bounty hunters’ ship. Neither had used the toilet yet, and Kale hoped desperately they’d arrive before he couldn’t hold it any more. He would not do that in front of Idonna. He could only guess at Idonna’s biology; whether Canabian’s held it or not, wasn’t a topic of conversation he wished to brooch with his new roomie.
Kale was occupying his mind, and distracting his bladder, by reciting his lines. Never mind he’d missed the rehearsal and was probably out of the play, he had won the part and he would be ready to play it just in case. The show must go on! he thought.
As Kale was reciting the part where Frederick expresses his desire to defeat the pirates and purge his conscience, the bounty hunters’ ship was violently slammed by what had to be the weapon of a massive starship.
Kale’s heart leaped for joy—the captain had come for them. He hadn’t just written Kale off. The captain was the kind of hero Kale wanted to be someday.
The bounty hunters’ ship took another hard hit and began rolling and spiraling out of control. Kale and Idonna were slammed against the wall from the centrifugal force of the spin. The small ship’s systems had failed, and they would spin like that for eternity if the captain didn’t hurry and rescue them. In space when things start to spin, they do so eternally.
The other ship fired on them again.
“Enough already, Cosmos beam us out!” Kale shouted to the air.
It all happened so quickly Kale didn’t have time to contemplate what an eternity of being pressed against a wall might be like. Finally, he shimmered and appeared next to Idonna and Harrison on a new ship. There was no sign of the second bounty hunter.
Definitely not the Cosmos. The new ship was strange; the walls were bare metal, with tubes and gages everywhere, like a weird inside-out submarine of some kind. Must be a leaky submarine, he thought, since the floor held an inch of water. Kale hadn’t seen a room like that since the peace negotiations. It finally struck him. “Squidmen!” he shouted.
The ship intercom began squealing and squawking in the familiar sound of the squidmen language. It wasn’t speech but was an ear-wrenching rendition of the Pirate King song.
“Oh god, no!” Kale exclaimed.
The door opened and in walked Commander Frakes. “Welcome, Frederick! My old friend and apprentice, and the nursemaid Ruth! Welcome aboard. W
ho is this other man? Samuel is that you?”
A contingent of squidmen stood beside Frakes. He was still dressed in full dashing young Pirate King regalia. The squidmen, too, had somehow made pirate-ish outfits of a sort. Some had eye patches, bandannas, hooks, peg-tentacles, and one even sported a fake parrot on its shoulder thingy. The hooks made a clunk as they moved since metal hooks on the ends of tentacles weren’t the easiest things to walk with.
Harrison was panicked. He tried to bully his way out of the situation.
Idonna understood what was happening . Especially since she had spent the last two days listening to Kale rehearse. Frakes had named her Frederick’s nursemaid Ruth; Kale was Frederick, but she couldn’t allow Frakes to believe Harrison was Samuel. So, in her best British accent she said, “Oh no, sir, for dis isn’t Samuel but a policeman sent by da Major General to arrest you!” She pointed to Harrison.
“What? Wait, no, I’m Samuel.” The bounty hunter tried to sound convincing.
“A foul plot is afoot! Seize that man and bind him.” The squidmen obeyed Frakes and took Harrison captive.
“Place him in the hold, in time he shall walk the plank. But first we must attend to the lady and our friend Frederick.” Frakes face was the picture of cordiality and grace. He had grown a beard and mustache, trimmed dastardly thin.
The squidmen dragged Harrison away. He tried to struggle, but one of the crew smacked him on the head with a belaying pin. Kale noticed a few of the squidmen holding the short pieces of wood used on ancient sailing ships. The squidmen must have been doing research on pirates, found the pins mentioned, and replicated some.
“How fares good Mabel, she is well?” Frakes asked.
“Mabel fares as fair as a fair damsel might, fairer than most in fact,” Kale said. He winked at Frakes, hoping that staying in character might save him from the cyborg’s murderous whims. It seemed Idonna was doing the same.
