by Amy Mullen
Leda was waiting for her when she crossed the great hall to take the steps to the solar. "Milady," she said, rushing toward her, "are you well?"
"Aye, Leda," she said, "though I am a fool."
"Why did ye take off like that? Nicholas was all in a tizzy as he tried to get out of here after ye when he thought you gone. Were ye hurt? Where did ye go?"
"Come up with me and I will explain." Her chambermaid was waiting for her, and she asked for a late bath. All she wanted to do was to let the water wash her mistake away. She had ridden hard without braiding her hair, which meant she would have to untangle it before she could sleep. She was willing to do it all night if it took her mind from how angry Nicholas was going to be with her when he came to bed, if he came to bed at all.
She waited for the cook, who brought her up some fruit and a skin of wine. When she came in, her eyes were big, and Gemma sought words to calm the poor woman down.
"Is Isabel abed?" she began, worried about her sister.
"Aye, she be asleep for some time now," Leda offered. "Please tell me what happened to ye. I be worried all night."
With a sigh, Gemma explained where she had gone and why she went. She described with great chagrin how she had tricked poor Matthew and what befell her afterward.
As she was talking, her bath was brought in, along with buckets of hot water. Leda did not say much until as she finished her story.
"Ye have always been a daring and stubborn girl, but this mistake could have seen ye killed!"
"I am fully aware of what I have done. I felt like a prisoner, and I wished for some solitude to think. I assumed I would be safe. Nicholas may never forgive me, especially if his man dies. I assure you I have learned a lesson."
"Get yer bath and get some sleep," Leda said, "and I am off to get mine. If ye need me, ye know where I be."
After she left, Gemma dug out her soap and slipped into the tub. The warm water swirled around her, and she moved the soap over her skin. Her hair was a problem. It was tangled and nearly impossible to manage on her own. Her chambermaid sat behind her and deftly untangled some of it with her fingers. It was a long and arduous task. All she could think about was the man with the arrow in his leg. She did not even know his name.
"I will finish. You are excused," Nicholas said as he walked into their quarters. Her chambermaid scurried off as if she had just seen the devil. Gemma went to rise but he pushed her back down into the water. "You stay where you are. I will finish your hair."
Much to her surprise, he began to carefully untangle the rest of her hair. He said nothing for a while, and she remained silent too, even though her water was cooling rapidly.
"Get out," he said, his voice sharp. She stood with her back to him, fully aware she was naked and he was still in his clothes. "You will scrub my back."
"Do you want fresh water for…" she began, but he cut her off.
"This will do. I only need a quick bath, and I do not wish to wait for new water to be warmed and carried up here." He began to strip his clothes off, and she gasped at not only his boldness, but also the blood she saw soaked through his tunic.
She grabbed the linen left by her chambermaid and wrapped her wet, naked body in it. Nicholas kicked off his muddied boots. His expression was that of a man possessed.
Despite her fear, she spoke up, "How is he?" She watched as he stepped out of the last of his clothes. His body was magnificent, and she found herself blushing as she remembered the one night they had spent in each other's arms. Not only was he lean, he was muscular and moved with grace as he stepped into the bath and lowered himself into the water. He looked like the towering, dark, and dangerous warrior he was, and she all but shivered and melted into a heap just looking at him.
"He has a name," he said gruffly, "and he is alive. His name is Rulnoff, and he is a good man."
"I-I-I…" she said as she watched him lather and scrub himself.
"The arrow was pulled from his leg, and he bled for quite a while. I feared for his life. Father Darius managed to stop the flow with a hot iron from the smith. He packed the wound with a poultice that should fight off infection. As most do with such a wound, he passed out when the arrow was removed, but he breathes well and as long as infection says away, he should live."
"Will he—" she began, but he interrupted her again.
"Walk again? Aye, I think so. It pierced the inner thigh but did not hit bone. He may have a limp, but I imagine he shall walk again."
She remained silent as she watched him get out of the tub. He stood before the fire, water dripping from him. He did not bother to dry off or cover himself. He did not look at her.
"Now you can tell me why you decided to take a ride at sunset when there is danger lurking about," he said. "Are you trying to find trouble or trying to escape me?"
"Nay," she said, lifting her quivering chin. "I am tired of being followed around my own home like a criminal. I just wanted some quiet time to myself. I saw no harm in a quick ride on my father's… uh, your land."
"And what if it had been thieves who overtook you? I never would have found you. 'Twas almost a stroke of luck 'twas Bigod's men, or I would not have known where to search. You should not have been anywhere without me. There is no telling what Hugh Bigod would have done to you. His son may hang because of you."
"I meant no harm," she said. She put her arms up and hugged her midsection.
"You are a foolish woman, Gemma. Did you also not think of what it would have done to Matthew had you come to a bad end? He was to protect you, and you mislead him and then ditched him in the wood."
"I am sorry; I truly am," she said with a high voice, unable to defend herself any longer. She bent her shoulders and put her hands to her face. "I am foolish, and I could have put us all in more peril. Please believe me, Nicholas. I have learned my lesson! Now Rulnoff lies in danger thanks to my foolhardy trek through the night."
He stood where he was, but he did not say much more. His skin was drying from the heat of the fire, but he made no move to clothe himself.
"I truly am sorry," she whispered.
Moving like a cat, he went to her. He picked her up and held her in his arms. He lowered them both to the bed so she was on his lap. She stiffened for a moment, realizing the only thing between them was the damp linen wrapped around her body. His anger was evident, and she did not know what to expect next.
He sighed and put his head back. "I know you are, and therein lies the problem. You are foolhardy, yet you mean no harm to anyone. You do not think before you act, which can put people in danger, but your intentions are pure. I do not understand your thinking. That makes it harder for me to protect you or to predict what you will do next."
She relaxed her body against his, suddenly feeling tired, but also aware of how good it felt to be in his arms. "I will not ride off on my own again. I simply meant to have some time to myself. I could not have known Hugh's men would be on our land or that they would take me. He was not as I remember him. He was always polite when visiting with my father."
"His son may hang," he chuckled, "that is enough to turn any man into an oaf."
"He said he had guests I should meet. What do you think he meant?"
"I do not know."
"He also told me he went to the king about us. He ruined your family and told lies in hopes Phillip could have me."
"It no longer matters," he said and then sighed. "The taste for revenge has gone cold in me. I have only to be here next to you to know 'twas not your fault. It does not matter if 'twas Bigod or anyone else. 'Tis done and over, and I fear my only option is to move forward."
Gemma's spirit soared when she heard him say that. "Do you truly mean that?" she asked.
He shifted, his arms tightening around her. "I think I mean it. That is going to have to be good enough for you for now."
"I will accept it. I want the iciness between us to thaw," she admitted.
"I can offer you this night, Gemma, though I cannot say what the d
awn will bring," he said as he tugged at the linen around her body. She arched her back as he slowly unwrapped it. He tossed it onto the floor near the bed.
He brought her naked body back to his, and Gemma marveled at the feeling of his skin on hers. She was not injured this time, so she could fully experience what it felt like to be next to him. She nuzzled down as her mouth found the side of his neck. His skin was soft, and the day's growth of beard tickled her. She tasted his skin, and he let out a low moan. His arms wrapped around her as she wiggled, trying to be as close to him as she could.
Nicholas made love to his wife. It was not the slow, tender experience they shared the first time. Their passions flared, and he took her places she never imagined.
They made love two more times that night, and both fell asleep in total exhaustion in each other's arms. Gemma never felt safer or more loved in her life.
Chapter Nineteen
Just as Gemma feared, Nicholas was not beside her when she woke up. The sun was well above the horizon. She was surprised to see her chambermaid waiting for her, as she had been up late seeing to her bath the night before. It had been well after midnight when they had returned from her ill-fated trip outside the curtain walls.
Gemma did not know where he had gone, but she knew the pressure on him was mounting. He had probably gone to see to Rulnoff or perhaps he had castle business to attend to. Whatever the case, she hoped he let her sleep because they were up late, not fully falling asleep until almost dawn, and not because he thought the night before was a mistake. He said he did not understand her, but that went both ways. He remained largely a mystery to her.
Her entire body was sore. She was not sure if it was the ride or the lovemaking, but whatever the case, she had a hard time getting out of bed. As soon as she sat up she dismissed her chambermaid and told her to go rest. She would get herself around no matter how much her body hurt at the moment.
After dressing, she slowly made her way down the steps and went to the kitchen. Leda did not say anything, though she did offer her a frown for rising so late. She handed her a small basket she quickly packed with fruit and bread.
The great hall was empty except for Matthew standing near the doorway, waiting for her. He tipped his head toward her as she neared.
"Matthew," she began, "I am so sorry for yesterday. I did not think, and I am deeply sorry if I have caused you any problem with Nicholas."
"Milady, do not fret. 'Twas my mistake not stopping you. Nicolas has reminded me of my duties. All is well."
She nodded, not knowing what else to say. She walked out into the late morning sun and glanced around. The usual hubbub of the day was about her, though something seemed off. The men on the ramparts on watch were where they were supposed to be, but their numbers seemed to have doubled.
It was apparent Nicholas had to double each watch because of what she had done. She sighed and set off to find Isabel to share her basket. Matthew, of course, was right behind her.
****
Nicholas was walking with Willis when he stopped and faced the main gate. He had been up all night with his wife, which was what he had been afraid he would do. He had slept only an hour before the sun was fully over the horizon, and he knew he could not sleep in, not on this day. After breaking his fast, he went down to see how Rulnoff fared. There was no change, but the priest seemed to think it was a good omen.
He then got a report from Willis, who must have been up all night. He had been left in charge when he had ridden after Gemma and Willis was still awake when Nicholas found him. They were talking about the night before, and he warned Willis that Bigod might retaliate, though he thought it unlikely.
"Milord," Willis said as they stood before the gate, "I do have something to report. I did not want to alarm you, but we are missing three men."
"Missing? What do you mean? They have deserted, or they are gone without cause?"
"I do not know," the seneschal said. "I only know three were missing at guard change, and no one can account for where they are."
"Who? I need names," he said, looking up at his men standing atop the tower.
"I do not have names, milord, but I was told it was a few of the men-at-arms Henry sent to reinforce yours just after you arrived," Willis said.
"I need names," he repeated, anxiety rising within him. "And I also need some men to search. I do not wish to alarm anyone, but they must be found. Round up a few of the soldiers you trust the most and scour every inch of the castle and then the surrounding land. They must be found alive."
Willis did not answer but instead offered a curt nod and went off to do his lord's bidding.
For the first time in his life, he was not sure what to do next. Everything was spiraling out of control. He had to flush the problem out now before anyone else came to a bad end. Gemma had scared him the night before and, in his relief that she was safe, he gave in to his desire for her. He knew it was a mistake, and he must keep his mind on this mystery, not on his wife's welcoming body.
Her beauty was the biggest distraction there was, and this time, he was going to hold tight. The safety of those around him depended on it. There would be time for lovemaking when safety and security were restored.
Action was needed. He decided to take a closer look at the tunnels. It made sense someone was coming in through them, though he did not understand why his men had not caught anyone yet. It was the only way, unless it was someone who was living among them, which he found hard to believe. Everyone was being watched, and everything seemed to be normal. He decided to relieve Willis and take over the search himself.
Chapter Twenty
Weeks passed and the summer began to fade. Gemma was weary as the missing men had not been found, and two people from the village also came up missing. She was also resigned to the fact she would never understand her husband. He had not touched her since the night he rescued her from Hugh Bigod. He was attentive and sweet to her, but he avoided touching her in the night. Their relationship was deepening despite the lack of physical touch. Her love for him was blossoming each day too.
She felt she might go mad. It was nearing the end of July and nothing had changed. She busied herself with preparations for the winter to come. The winters on the Thames were cold and long. It took a lot of food to feed everyone. There were always hunting parties throughout the winter, no matter how cold and wet the winter would be, but vegetables and fruit must be preserved. Leda was in charge of this with the aid of Gemma, who was now the acting lady of the castle in every capacity.
It was impossible to focus on what Leda was telling her about the garden and what was about to ripen. She could not focus. No matter how hard she tried, her mind simply was not on winter food storage and which vegetables could be preserved now and which would come later.
Though she thought it too good to be true, she was all but sure she was pregnant. She knew when it happened, as there had only been one night they had spent together since their wedding night. If her count was true, she was expecting a baby. She was unwell in the late evening and had only picked at her food the past few nights, and she was also sluggish and tired even after a good night of rest.
She wrestled with telling Nicholas about the babe. The pregnancy was new and exciting. She knew early on the babe was fragile and perhaps waiting to tell him would be wise. That would save him some pain should the babe die. That did not stop her from touching her still flat stomach and dreaming about what their baby would look like.
This was another reason why she had to be careful. She could not put herself in danger. She allowed Matthew to walk with her instead of behind her, no longer rebelling at the constant state of being guarded within the castle walls. A baby changed everything. It was no longer all about her.
The soldier turned out to be quite charming and a much needed diversion. He talked with her when Nicholas simply did not have time. Remaining polite, he never mentioned anything about the night she tricked him. She learned about his home, and he often talked of
how grateful he was to Nicholas and Henry for this assignment. He had grown to love Blackstone Castle and wanted to remain.
She did not know why he was so certain he wanted to settle there until she saw him with Leda's youngest daughter, Adela. They kept a respectful distance from each other, talking together near the orchard. They did not touch, but Gemma could tell they wanted nothing more. There would be another wedding in Blackstone and, from the looks on their faces when they were together, she sensed it would be before the year was done.
Blaise was doing well, though he still tired easily. Isabel was increasingly grumpy. She was scared and not old enough to properly deal with the new restrictions in her life. Rulnoff had indeed healed, just as Nicholas had said he would, and was once again on duty. He had a limp, but he was working with it instead of against it, which won him much admiration from those within the walls.
A horn sounded as she strolled with Matthew. It was not meal time, which meant something was amiss. It was the warning call she feared and still heard in her nightmares.
It was Rulnoff she spotted first, near the entrance to the stables, struggling with someone. At first she thought he was being attacked, but it was not so. The man in his arms was falling. She instantly recognized the falling man as Willis Gromme.
Men-at-arms came running and shouts echoed off the walls. Willis was lying on the hard earth, his breathing labored and his skin pale. Sweat was beading on his forehead and his limbs were limp. Someone took off running toward the south wall, looking for Nicholas. He appeared instantly.
Willis was not responding. Someone had lifted his head from the ground. Nicholas pushed everyone aside and scooped up the man in his arms and ran with him to the great hall, struggling with his weight. Gemma followed, though she stayed out of the way of everyone else rushing to help him. Matthew was right behind her, visibly shaking as they ran.
There was a crash as the candlesticks on the dais were brushed off, and Willis was laid atop it. Nicolas was almost as pale as Willis. He commanded someone bring water and Father Darius be summoned. He picked up Willis's limp hand in his, talking to him in a voice that faltered, the words not clear to anyone but him. The seneschal did not respond.
