“Given everything we’ve been through, I can’t imagine it working any better than this.”
“That’s a good point,” I breathe out.
“You know I love you, right?” he asks me. I nod weakly but tell him, “I do. I know you love me.”
“And is it enough?” he asks before I can tell him I love him too.
“Enough?” I question him and he tries to explain but I cut him off to say, “Madox, you are more than enough, and your love is more than enough. You are everything to me.”
“So you’ll stay?” he asks me and then tells me, “I want you to stay with me forever.”
“You’re crazy to think I’ll ever leave you again.”
“Good. If you try to run, I’m reminding you of this.”
He’s crazy to think I’d ever forget any of this either.
When you’re young, it’s easy to say it’s only puppy love.
It’s easy to tell yourself sweet little lies to make it all better. Or even truths, like there are so many other men out there, this one was only a phase.
But deep down I always knew I loved him, and he was the only man I’d ever love. We could both feel it. We just didn’t know how to show it and how to feel like we were worth being loved by each other.
It’s easy to be scared by that realization, regardless of when it comes to you.
This time, I know better. That intense feeling that brings out every side of me and doesn’t hide a smidgen of who I am from Madox. It’s love. Pure and raw and deep. Leaving me battered and bruised.
“I love you so damn much, Madox Reed.”
Epilogue
Sophie
One year later
The Lovers card is another whose meaning may appear, at first glance, to be obvious. A card many would love to receive. It’s about sexuality and passion. But above all that, the Lovers card signifies unity.
“It smells so good,” I practically moan as I squeeze a lime over the diced tomatoes and red onion. With a touch of cilantro, the pico de gallo is almost done.
“Just needs salt and pepper,” I speak absently and then taste my part of tonight’s dinner.
Groaning, I let my eyes roll back and announce, “It’s so fucking good.”
Madox only chuckles at me. “There isn’t going to be any left by the time the quesadillas are done.”
“So be it,” I tell him and go in for another bite.
“I love doing this with you,” he says.
“I love it too, it’s nice to cook together. Date nights are fun too though,” I add, slipping the spoon into my mouth and taking another bite.
“You really can’t help yourself, can you?”
I pout. “You don’t understand. It all tastes so freaking good.”
He laughs a little harder, kissing my jaw and I steal a kiss from his lips.
“You’re adorable when you’re pregnant, you know that?” he says softly, lowly, and all the while looking at me in that way… the way that makes me feel like he can see everything I am inside and that he loves me still. Even the bad pieces, the parts that are jagged and don’t work quite right.
I bite down on my bottom lip and take a deep breath as I ask, “About that wedding-slash-baby shower…”
“What about them?” he asks, moving his attention back to the chicken and onion mixture he’s been working on.
“I don’t really think we need a big wedding, so maybe we can just do something quick?” I suggest. “Just something small, same with the shower.”
“For the wedding,” Madox starts before I can explain myself, “it can be whatever you want it to be. And if you change your mind later, we’ll have another. I want it to be whatever you want it to be.” His words melt me, literally. I have to lean back against the counter.
“I was worried to tell you.”
“Don’t be. To tell me anything ever.” He leans closer to me, giving me a kiss but he stands upright too soon. I wasn’t ready for that kiss to be done.
“But I am a little worried to tell you…” Madox doesn’t look at me as he talks, he only stirs the cooked onions and seasoning in the bowl instead as he continues, “that Ryan said Brett has plans for your shower.”
“Oh my God! Trish told!”
“I knew it!”
Fuck. I bite down on my lip. Neither of us was supposed to say anything to anyone. “I couldn’t help it,” I say and shrug, then go back to the pico that is so fucking delicious. “She’s my best friend. And she’s the one planning the shower.”
Madox grins at me. “You didn’t even keep it a secret for twenty-four hours.”
“What can I say?” I joke teasingly and then move to dip my spoon into a now-empty bowl… whoops. I shrug and let the metal spoon clang against the bowl as I drop it and walk back to Madox. “I’m excited. And I didn’t think Trish would tell.”
“Good news travels fast.”
I smile against his chest as I cling on to him. “It does,” I breathe out and then wonder if I should ask him what Trish asked me. I go for it, not holding back. It’s one of the rules we agreed on together; we don’t hold back what we’re feeling or wondering anymore. It’s such a simple thing, but it’s made all the difference.
“Do you think your mom will be invited?” I ask him and hold my breath.
“As long as she is trying, I’m not going to keep her at a distance.” Even though he answers easily, he stiffens for a moment and then walks to the sink without me.
He has a hard time talking about it, but he has ever since we got back together. Technically ever since she got us back together.
He washes his hands with his head down and I let him have that moment, setting the oven to 350° before walking to the other side of the kitchen where he’s drying his hands and giving him a hug from behind. My cheek rests just below his shoulder, and he’s quick to move his arm around me, pulling me in front of him to kiss my hair. I can feel his warm breath tickling my neck as he tells me he loves me.
“I love you too,” I tell him as he rocks me back and forth just slightly. I love this man more than anything.
“It’s going to be all right.”
“It’s going to be better than all right… if Trish is planning it. If it’s Brett,” I say and roll my eyes jokingly, and the kitchen fills with Madox’s laugh. I love that sound.
“Oh! Real quick, I got you a gift…” I practically run to the chair in the kitchen where I dropped off my purse after work. I’ve been finding my place in Madox’s house and redecorating it slowly. This particular chair seems to be where I drop everything when I come home every day.
“It’s stupid,” I tell him quickly, pulling out the surprise from my purse and handing it over. “It’s just a little thing... it really isn’t-”
Madox reaches for the gift, letting his fingers brush against mine and shutting me up with a swift kiss. Immediately my head feels dizzy, my heart warm and fuzzy. I think it’s what being in love feels like.
Every day I feel it more and more, and I’m addicted to this feeling. I’m addicted to Madox and being his, and him being mine.
“If you got it for me, it’s not stupid,” Madox tells me and unwraps the CD. His brow furrows until he reads the title of the hit single, “I Want You to Want Me.” He grins like a fool before looking up at me with his green eyes shining. “I thought it would be a parenting pamphlet or something,” he tells me comically.
“You don’t need that.” My words make his eyes meet mine, and I’m quick to stand on my tiptoes and give him a short kiss.
“You’re going to be amazing. I know you will.”
His eyes get glossy for just a second, and he blames it on the onion that’s long since been cut, which is fine, because he doesn’t let me go. He keeps holding me even though I know he’s thinking of his own father right now.
I don’t pry, and I don’t push. Every day I see more of the man Madox is, and every day I fall deeper in love with him.
“I love you, Soph,” he tells m
e and I smile up at him, feeling everything. Every piece of us, melding together.
“I love you, too.”
If you loved Cards of Love: Three of Swords, you’ll love Second Chance! Keep reading for a sneak peek..
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Sneak Peek of Second Chance
Nathan always had the most beautiful smile.
Every time I caught a glimpse of it, I had to smile too.
It didn’t matter that he grew up on the wrong side of the city, I saw the good in him… even when he didn’t.
That wasn’t enough to keep us together in high school though.
One night ruined everything. A night I’ll never forget.
Years have passed and now he’s on the cover of magazines and the star of movies.
The reformed bad boy with with a charming smile that makes women weak in the knees.
No one knows what happened that night that forced us apart. No one can ever know.
I can’t tell him no, even if I wanted to.
The moment he locked his light blue eyes on me again, I was ruined.
I never stood a chance.
Prologue
Harlow
Ten years ago
April 12
The red, white, and bright blue lights reflect off the large glass windows of the liquor store. The sirens have stopped. I swear they were only screaming in my ear for a split second. They were loud enough to make my heart leap into my throat and send fear flowing freely through my blood.
They were silenced quickly, as if turned on by mistake.
I swear it was all an accident.
“Nathan.” I say his name weakly, searching his cold gaze as I grip his wrists. My nails dig in as my throat goes dry. He doesn’t answer me, doesn’t give me a minute to ask questions. He merely blocks me from the view of the police car pulling up to the curb. His back is to the cops and he doesn’t turn to face them, even as the sound of the cruiser’s window rolling down drowns out the sound of my blood rushing in my ears.
Nathan leans closer to me as my shoulder and ass hit the unyielding wall of the liquor store. His dark eyes look even darker and the lack of any emotion on his face forces my plea for him to tell me how to make this right to catch in my throat. “Don’t say a word,” he hisses in my ear.
One second, one beat of my heart passes feeling caught in an eternity as I look up into the eyes of the boy I thought I loved. The boy I thought loved me back. “Don’t be stupid, Hally,” he says low, beneath his breath.
But I never really knew him, did I?
The boy I knew wasn’t capable of this.
But it was only an accident.
“Nathan, we have to-” I try to speak, but the words are silenced as he narrows his eyes. The shadows from the dim street lights make the sharp lines of his jaw look even more intense.
“You two alright?” I hear a man say from behind us, but my eyes don’t break away from Nathan’s. It’s the cops. So close. So close to knowing everything that just happened only minutes ago.
Nathan’s the first to break. He lets go of my forearm and turns his back to me, leaving the chill of the night to turn the thin sheen of sweat on my skin to ice. I wrap my arms around my chest and as I do, I see a small bit of blood on my arm and then more. Just a large scrape I think, but I’m quick to hide it. As fast as I can, I pull the thin sleeves of my sweater down my arms. It’s evidence.
“We’re fine,” Nathan says, although I almost don’t hear him. My heart beats harder and faster; I’m desperate to escape as I stand on legs that quiver, legs too afraid to do anything.
“And you, miss?” the cop says as a bright light flashes in front of me. The sudden light causes me to wince and then look up at him. The dark blue of his uniform looks black in the low light. The man is older with salt and pepper hair, and looks experienced and wise enough to know a lie. I don’t trust my voice, so I simply nod and almost cross my arms again, but then I remember the blood and my fingers grip the hem of my sweater to keep my arms at my sides.
“You two look a little young to be out here,” the cop says, his eyes flickering from mine to Nathan’s.
We’re in high school. Nathan’s a year older than me and a senior this year.
“Are you from around here?” the cop asks and I’m not sure who he’s talking to, but Nathan answers for us both.
His thin Henley pulls tight over his broad shoulders as he points his thumb behind him. “She’s from the Hills and I’m down here.”
The cop’s jaw goes tense, his eyes burning into me but I don’t look back at him.
I’m not supposed to be here. I hear it before the words even come from his mouth.
I ignore everything that the cop says; I’m not interested in being told where I belong. The only thing I can concentrate on is my ability to breathe. I feel like I’m being suffocated. If I had just listened, none of this would have happened. I already know it’s true and that makes the guilt so much worse.
“Can you take her home?” I hear Nathan ask and it’s as if that’s what they were waiting for. How could he? After what just happened, I’m shaking and fear is still raw and coursing through my blood. How could he leave me after that? Tears prick my eyes as I will him to justify it.
But I already know the answer; it’s my fault. I should have stuck to my usual routine and not taken the wrong way home. The way that leads to nothing but trouble.
I don’t care though. I’m scared. I can’t leave him; I can’t be by myself. I try to scream out, I try to grip his arm, but he whips around before I can do a damn thing and the heat in his eyes is something I never expected to see.
The anger. So much anger.
“I didn’t mean it,” I whimper out of instinct and then pray the cops didn’t hear. Please. He has to know I never wanted this. I never knew it would come to this. Please. Please, God, let me take it back. “I’m sorry.” The words crack as I say them.
“I already told you we were over,” Nathan says in such a deep voice, rough and riddled with accusations. The guilt pounds through my veins, heating my blood and sending a shame through me that makes me sick.
“We have to …” I start to tell him we need to confess. We have to tell the cops what happened.
“We don’t have to do a damn thing and you better not say shit,” Nathan says with a thinly-veiled threat. “Get in that car,” Nathan says with certainty and conviction, and I lose all sense of composure.
“Don’t ever come back, Hally,” Nathan says as I cover my mouth and keep the sobs from coming up. “I won’t tell you again,” he says beneath his breath, ignoring how my world is shattered and my body just wants to collapse and give in to the pain.
I didn’t mean for this to happen. If I could just go back in time.
The night is disturbed by the slam of the police car door and a second officer gets out of the car, stopping Nathan as he tries to leave. I can barely hear what they’re saying and I try to go to him. I will my legs to move, but the first officer is quick to grab my arm. I rip it away from him and stumble back, tripping over my feet and nearly falling as I look up at him, bewildered.
“It’s alright,” the cop says easily, just now realizing how startled I am and I can’t help but notice the look he gives Nathan as if he’s to blame. He has no idea.
“I need you to come with me,” the officer says with a stern voice, no negotiation apparent in his tone. As if he already knows the truth.
Nathan turns to look back at
me, but his jaw is clenched and the other officer is quick to get his attention again. Speaking low, in whispers, so I can’t hear. I can only see Nathan shake his head.
I stare at Nathan as the officer talks, willing him to look at me as I’m pulled away from the street. I can’t hear a word, not from the officer leading me away and not from the officer speaking to Nathan. My shoes click on the sidewalk, the cold night air making each breath hurt more and more.
It’s almost like everything’s happening in slow motion. It seems to last an eternity. Each detail captured clearly.
With every second that passed, I could have said something. With every second I could have apologized.
But before I knew it, he was walking away, and I was being driven in the opposite direction.
I stare out of the window, tears burning my eyes as he disappears from view. The dark night only illuminated by a street light and the bright neon glow of a bar. I keep my eyes on the cracked concrete sidewalk rather than look up at the people leaning against the brick wall of the building as we slowly come to a stop at a red light.
“Are you alright, miss?” the cop asks me again, turning in his seat to face me, but I don’t have the decency to look him in the eyes as I lie.
No. I’m not okay. I’ll never be okay.
But no one can know.
It was ten years ago and although that night should have traumatized me for an entirely different reason, the fact that I listened to Nathan and didn’t come forward is what haunts me.
It’s a funny thing, fate. Life goes on day after day and I didn’t notice how all the pieces were lining up like dominoes. I tried to smile as the weeks turned into months and months turned into years, thinking I’d left my past behind me. I thought I knew what was going on around me. I thought I’d survived and had a new life, with the truth of that night being buried ten feet under.
Cards of Love: Three of Swords Page 11
