by Patrick Ness
{VIOLA}
“You’re insane,” I say to the Mayor behind me.
“No,” he says. “You’ve been right all along, both of you. Never love something so much it can be used to control you.”
The sun is down now but the sky is still pink, the Noise of the town still ROARs, there’s another Boom! in the distance as the Answer approaches, and the ship must have landed by now. Its doors must be opening. Someone, probably Simone Watkin or Bradley Tench, people I know, people who know me, must be looking out, wondering what sort of place they’ve landed in.
And Todd kneels over the body of Davy Prentiss.
And then Todd looks up–
His Noise is boiling and burning and I can hear the grief in it and the shame and the rage–
And he gets to his feet–
And he raises his rifle–
I see myself in his Noise, I see the Mayor there, too, behind me, rifle pointed, eyes glinting with triumph.
And I know exactly what Todd is going to do.
“Do it,” I say, my stomach dropping but it’s right right right–
And Todd raises the rifle to his eye–
“Do it!”
And the Mayor shoves me hard, sending lightnings of pain up my legs, and I can’t help it and I scream out and fall forward, forward towards Todd, forward towards the ground–
And the Mayor does it again–
Uses me to control Todd–
Because Todd can’t help it either–
He jumps to catch me–
To catch me when I’m falling–
And the Mayor attacks.
[TODD]
My brain explodes, burning and raging with everything he fires at it and it ain’t nothing like a slap at all, it’s like fiery metal poked right into the centre of who I am, and as I jump forward to catch Viola, it hits me so hard my head snaps back and here it comes again, the Mayor’s voice but somehow my voice, too, somehow hers as well and all of ’em saying YER NOTHING YER NOTHING YER NOTHING YER NOTHING–
Our bodies are still moving together and I feel us tumble into one another, feel the top of her skull crack into my mouth, and YER NOTHING YER NOTHING YER NOTHING she falls into my chest and my fumbling arms and we twist down onto the rubble together, a siren ripping off the roof of my head YER NOTHING YER NOTHING YER NOTHING and I feel the rifle fall and bounce away and I feel the weight of her against me and I hear her as if from the other side of the moons and she’s calling my name and YER NOTHING she’s saying “Todd” YER NOTHING YER NOTHING she’s saying “Todd!” and it’s as if I’m watching her from under water and I see her try to rise up on her hands to protect me but the Mayor’s above her and swinging his rifle by the barrel and smacking her across the back of her head and she’s falling to one side–
And my brain is boiling–
My brain is boiling–
My brain is boiling–
YER NOTHING YER NOTHING YER NOTHING YER NOTHING YER NOTHING–
And I see her eyes as they’re closing–
And I feel her against me–
And I think Viola–
I think VIOLA!
I think VIOLA!!!!
And the Mayor steps away from me like he’s been stung.
“Whoo,” he says, shaking his head as I blink away the buzz still rocketing from my brain, as my eyes refocus and my thoughts are mine again. “Told you you had some power in you, boy.”
And his eyes are wide and bright and eager.
And he hits me again with his Noise.
I fling my hands up to my ears (not holding the gun, not holding the gun) as if that’ll stop it but it ain’t thru yer ears that you hear Noise and he’s in there, inside my head, inside my self, invading it like I don’t have any self at all YER NOTHING YER NOTHING YER NOTHING my own Noise swept up and hit against me, like I’m punching myself with my own fists YER NOTHING YER NOTHING YER NOTHING–
Viola, I think but I’m disappearing, I’m falling deeper into it, I’m weaker and my brain is rattling–
Viola–
{VIOLA}
Viola, I hear, as if from the bottom of a canyon. My head is aching and bleeding from the Mayor’s blow and my face is in the dust and my eyes are half-open but they aren’t seeing anything–
Viola, I hear again.
I open my eyes wide.
Todd’s scooting back into the rocks, his hands over his ears, eyes squeezed shut–
And the Mayor is standing over him and I can hear the same shouting as before, the same kind of clanging, laser-bright Noise firing right at him and–
Viola, I hear in amongst all the clatter–
And I open my mouth–
And I shout–
[TODD]
“TODD!” I hear screamed from somewhere out there–
And it’s her–
It’s her–
It’s her–
And she’s alive–
And her voice is coming for me–
Viola–
Viola–
VIOLA–
I hear a grunt and the Noise in my head stops again and I open my eyes and the Mayor is staggering back, one hand up to his ear, the same reflex that everyone does–
That everyone does when they hear an attack of Noise.
VIOLA, I think again, right at him, but he ducks his head and raises the rifle at me. I think it again–
VIOLA
And again–
VIOLA
And he steps back and stumbles over Davy’s body, falling backwards along it and down into the rubble–
I push myself up–
And I run to her–
{VIOLA}
He runs to me, his hands open and reaching for me, taking my shoulders and rolling me up to a sitting position and saying, “Are you hurt, are you hurt, are you hurt–”
And I’m saying, “He’s still got the gun–”
And Todd turns–
[TODD]
And I turn and the Mayor’s getting to his feet and he’s looking at me and here comes his Noise again and I roll outta the way and I hear it following me as I scramble over rocks, scramble back to where I dropped my rifle and–
And there’s a gunshot–
And dust flies up in the air in front of my hands–
Hands that were reaching for the rifle–
And I stop–
And I look up–
And he’s staring right back at me–
And I hear her call my name again–
And I know she’s understanding–
Understanding that I need to hear her say my name–
And that way I can use hers as a weapon–
“Don’t try it, Todd,” the Mayor says, looking down the barrel at me–
And I hear his voice in my head–
Not an attack–
The slinky, snaky, twisty verzhun of his voice–
The one that’s him taking hold of my choices–
The one that’s him turning them into his–
“You won’t fight any more,” he says–
He takes a step closer–
“You won’t fight any more and that’ll be the end of it–”
I turn away from him–
But I have to turn back–
Have to look into his eyes–
“Listen to me, Todd–”
And his voice is hissing twixt my ears–
And it would be so easy just to–
Just to–
Just to fall back–
Fall back and do what he says–
“No!” I shout–
But my teeth are locked together–
And he’s still in there–
Still trying to get me to–
And I will–
I will–
YER NOTHING–
I’m nothing–
“That’s right, Todd,” the Mayor says, stepping forward, rifle bearing down on me. “You are nothing.”
I’m nothing–
“But,” he says–
And his voice is a whisper scratching across the deepest part of me–
“But,” he says–
“I will make you something.”
And I look right up into his eyes–
Eyes that are an abyss I feel myself falling into–
Up and into the blackness–
And outta the corner of my eye–
{VIOLA}
I throw the stone as hard as I can, praying as it leaves my hand that my aim’s as good as Lee said–
Praying, Please, God–
If you’re there–
Please–
And wham!
It hits the Mayor right in the temple–
[TODD]
There’s a terrible ripping feeling, like a strip is being torn right outta my Noise–
And the abyss is gone–
It’s turned away–
And the Mayor lurches to the side, holding his temple, blood already dripping from it–
“TODD!” Viola shouts–
And I look at her–
Look at her arm outstretched where she threw the rock–
And I see her–
My Viola.
And I get to my feet.
{VIOLA}
He gets to his feet.
He stands up tall–
And I shout his name again–
“TODD!”
Because it does something–
It does something to him–
It does something for him–
The Mayor’s wrong–
He’s wrong for ever and ever–
It’s not that you should never love something so much it can control you.
It’s that you need to love something that much so you can never be controlled.
It’s not a weakness–
It’s your best strength–
“TODD!” I shout again–
And he looks at me–
And I hear my name in his Noise–
And I know it–
I know it in my heart–
Right now–
Todd Hewitt–
There’s nothing we can’t do together–
And we’re gonna win–
[TODD]
The Mayor is looking up now, half crouched, blood seeping from twixt his fingers held against the side of his head–
He turns to look at me, a scowl on his face–
And here comes his Noise–
And–
VIOLA
I beat it back–
He flinches away–
But he tries again–
VIOLA
“You can’t beat us,” I say–
“I can,” he says, clenching his teeth. “I will.”
VIOLA
He flinches again–
He tries to raise the rifle–
I hit him extra hard–
VIOLA
He drops the rifle and staggers back–
I can hear his Noise buzzing at me, trying to twist its way in–
But his head is hurting–
From my own attacks–
From one well-thrown rock–
“What exactly do you think this proves?” he spits. “You’ve got power, but you don’t know what to do with it.”
VIOLA
“Looks like I’m doing fine,” I say.
And he smiles, teeth still clenched. “Are you?”
And I notice my hands are shaking–
I notice my Noise is flying, sizzling like a bright thing–
I can’t feel my feet below me–
“It takes practice,” the Mayor says. “Or you’ll blow your mind apart.” He stands up a little straighter, trying to lock my eyes again. “I could show you.”
And right on cue, Viola yells “TODD!”
And I hit him with everything I got–
Every bit of her behind me–
Every piece of anger and frustrayshun and nothingness–
Every moment I didn’t see her–
Every moment I worried–
Everything–
Every little tiny thing I know about her–
I send it right into the centre of him–
And he falls–
Back and back and back–
His eyes rolling up–
His head twisting round–
His legs buckling–
Falling falling falling–
Right to the ground–
And lying there still.
{VIOLA}
“Todd?” I say.
He’s shaking all over, almost to the point of not being able to stand, and I can hear an unhealthy-sounding whine cutting through his Noise. He wobbles a little as he takes a step.
“Todd?” I try to get to my feet but my ankles–
“Jeez,” he says, crumpling down beside me. “That takes it outta you.”
He’s breathing heavy, his eyes unfocused.
“Are you all right?” I ask, putting a hand on his arm.
He nods. “I think so.”
We look back at the Mayor.
“You did it,” I say.
“We did it,” he says and his Noise is getting a little clearer and he sits up a little straighter.
His hands are still shaking, though.
“Poor bloody Davy,” he says.
I grip his arm. “The ship,” I say quietly. “She’s going to get there first.”
“Not if I can help it,” he says. He stands up and he swoons for a second but I hear him call Acorn with his Noise.
Boy colt, I hear clearly and Davy’s horse tugs free of where he’s tied and walks up over the rubble, boy colt, boy colt, boy colt.
Todd, I hear from farther out and there’s more clopping of hooves as Angharrad follows Acorn in and stands beside him. “Forward,” she nickers. “Forward,” Acorn nickers.
“Absolutely forward,” Todd says to them.
He puts an arm under my shoulders to lift me up. Acorn sees in his Noise and kneels down so it’s easier for me to get up top. When I’m sat in the saddle, Todd slaps his flank gently and up he stands.
Angharrad comes close to Todd and starts to kneel, too, but, “No, girl,” he says, petting her nose.
“What?” I say, alarmed. “What about you?”
He nods at the Mayor. “I have to take care of him,” he says and doesn’t meet my eye.
“What do you mean, take care of him?”
He looks past me. I turn. The beetle march of the army has reversed its course and stretches to the bottom of the hill now.
It’ll be marching here next.
“Go,” he says. “Get to the ship.”
“Todd,” I say. “You can’t kill him.”
He looks at me and his Noise is a muddle and he’s still struggling to stay upright. “He deserves it.”
“He does but–”
But Todd’s already nodding. “We are the choices we make.”
I nod back. We understand each other. “You’d stop being Todd Hewitt,” I say. “And I ain’t losing you again.”
[TODD]
I give a little snort when she says ain’t.
“I’m gonna have to stay with him, you know,” I say. “Yer gonna have to go to the ship as fast as you can and I’m gonna have to wait for the army to come.”
She nods, even tho there’s sadness there. “And what’ll you do then?”
I look over at the Mayor, still sprawled on the rocks, unconshus and moaning slightly.
I feel so heavy.
But I say, “I reckon they might not be too unhappy to see him beaten. I reckon they just might be on the lookout for a new leader.”
She smiles. “And that’ll be you?”
“And if you meet the Answer?” I say, smiling back. “What’ll you do then?”
She brushes her hair outta her eyes. “I reckon they may need a new leader, too.”
I step forward and I put my hand near hers on Acorn’s side.
She don’t look at my face, just slides her hand till the tips of our fingers are touching.
“Just cuz yer going there and I’m staying here,” I say. “It don’t mean we’re parting.”
“No,” she says and I know she understands. “No, it certainly doesn’t.”
“I ain’t parting from you again,” I say, still looking at our fingers. “Not even in my head.”
She pushes her hand forward and laces her fingers in mine and we both look at ’em wrapped together.
“I have to go, Todd,” she says.
“I know.”
I look deep into Acorn’s Noise and I show him where the road is, where the ship landed, and how fast fast fast he’s gotta run.
“Forward,” he whinnies, loud and clear.
“Forward,” I say.
I look back up at Viola.
“I’m ready,” she says.
“Me, too,” I say.
“We’ll win,” she says.
“I reckon we just might.”
One last look.
One last look where we know each other.
Right down to our souls.
And I slap Acorn hard on the flanks.
And off they go, over the rubble, right down the road, tearing hard towards the people who (I hope I hope I hope) can help us.
I look down at the Mayor, still lying on the ground.
I hear the army marching down the hill, three kilometres away, if that.
I look for the rope.
I see it but before I pick it up, I take a second to close Davy’s eyes.
{VIOLA}
We fly down the road, and it’s all I can do not to fall off and break my neck.
“Watch for soldiers!” I shout in the space between Acorn’s flattened-back ears.
I have no idea how far into town the Answer’s managed to march, no idea if they’ll wait to see who I am before they blow me off the road.
No idea what her reaction will be if she sees me–
When she sees me–
When I tell her and everyone else the things I’ve got to tell them–
“Faster if you can!” I shout and there’s a jolt like an engine firing and Acorn goes even faster.
She’ll head for the ship. No doubt about that. She’ll have seen it land and gone straight for it. And if she gets there first, she’ll tell them how sorry she is that I died so tragically, how I fell so cruelly at the hands of the tyrant the Answer are trying to overthrow, how if the scout ship has any weapons that can be used from the air–
