Physically, this was better described as uncomfortable rather than painful. However, metaphysically, it felt as if Aaron were trying to overfill a basketball while I was inside it.
When I could take no more and broke position to pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them, Aaron stopped pushing the energy. A few seconds later, he said, “Forty-two seconds longer than your best time.”
We’d gone from barely more than a minute to nearly seven minutes in almost two years. This had happened in five and eight second increments, interspersed by an occasional backtrack where I actually lost time. I’d never jumped forty seconds before. This was huge.
But I wasn’t up for speech yet, so all I could do was nod. Aaron gently pulled me back into his arms, then up into his lap so I wasn’t sitting on the cold concrete floor. I curled into a ball and let him hold me. This was a different kind of aftercare, and one he wasn’t obligated to give, and I was thankful for it.
He was never impatient during this phase, and always held me until I was ready to get up. This interrogation room had an open shower in the corner — basically a showerhead with a drain under it and no extra walls. However, he strung a blanket up to give me privacy, so we could talk as I showered and dressed.
“Why the big jump?” I asked as I peeled out of my sweat soaked yoga pants and t-shirt.
“You accepted it more, didn’t fight it as I forced it in. My question would be what’s changed in you? Are you looking at it another way?”
“I don’t think so. I originally agreed to it, and then agreed to keep doing it after I realized how much it hurt, because I understand the need for it. Things have been crazy, but not too much more than usual.” I remembered Xaephan zapping me, and corrected myself. “Wait. Could my being completely drained so many times have anything to do with it? First I was totally zapped by the demon, and then Mordecai had me totally deplete my reserves and build them back up a few times.”
“Things are a lot more intense than normal. Perhaps not in trips to the battlefield, but with everything going on. You’ve met the vampires and are dating the Master Vampire, you’re being trained by someone who was once worshipped as a god, and you killed two of this being’s ancient enforcers. Most people saw those two men step onto their grounds and they quaked in fear, but you killed them.”
“I didn’t know who they were, so I didn’t know to be scared.”
I didn’t wash my hair, and kept it mostly dry as I showered, so I pulled it into a ponytail to keep from having to do anything else with it. When I pulled the makeshift curtain down I was fully dressed, and Aaron was lounging on the floor, his torso leaned against the wall. Some people sit in the floor and look submissive, but Aaron looked as if he owned the place even sprawled across it.
By now our conversation had moved back to discussing my progress and what might have given us the big jump, when Aaron changed the subject.
“Mordecai is rumored to be quite dominant in the bedroom, though he doesn’t have rules about it. You do what he says or else, and you don’t get to dictate what the ‘or else’ might be.”
My insides came to life at his words, as the idea of this had always been a huge turn-on. I knew Aaron would smell my arousal, and I tried to tone it down as I reminded myself the reality of it would likely suck. However, my body continued to like the idea.
“I can’t imagine being intimate with him. He’s larger than life, bigger than…” I shook my head. “Thanks for the information, or warning, or whatever you intended it to be, but I can’t see Mordecai having an interest in me sexually, nor can I imagine being his equal.”
“Oh, you’ll never be his equal. None of us will. However, he’s one of the few people I’d trust to expand your capacity, and it’s possible he could incorporate it into…” He trailed off, shrugged, and held my gaze as he said, “It’s just something to keep in mind.”
I had a little time still before I needed to pick up Lauren, so I logged fifteen minutes in the range — all employees of Drake Security must spend at least thirty minutes in the range per month with their primary carry weapon, and must practice at least twice a month. Some months I’m in there hours and hours, others I get the bare minimum.
I went into the theater to watch the end of rehearsal, and was accosted by Lauren and a friend from school as soon as the director released them. It seemed tonight’s slumber party was off, as the birthday girl had mono. However, her friend had asked her to spend the night, and the girls were busy cooking up plans for their evening.
Lauren and I went out to eat and then went to the grocery store, and when we’d finished putting the groceries away I took a long bath and then let her help me get ready. I didn’t let her see the fancy underthings I put on under my clothes, you know, just in case. But I let her help me pick out clothes and figure out how to wear my hair.
Still in my robe, I sat at my vanity and she brushed my hair out and then I fixed it. She sat and watched me put on my makeup, commenting on color and whether I needed more or less. She thought it was “way cool” that he was flying me to Chicago to see a play, but was also worried about me. I promised to text her when we landed in Chicago, and again when we landed back in Chattanooga, and she promised to text me when she reached her friend’s house. She hasn’t been driving solo long, and I worry.
I was still conflicted about Abbott going overboard with a flight to Chicago for our date, but while working out earlier it occurred to me perhaps there was a special play he wanted us to see, and maybe this was about finding a live performance of it more than where it was. This made me a little less uptight about the trip, so I was going with it.
Xiaolan was home by this time and she came in to watch the final preparations as well. I don’t really primp anymore, but they were getting into it so I humored them. In the end I wore one of my slinky little-black-dresses. This one came to just above my knees but was practically backless, with a high neck in front and a diamond shape cut out of the chest to show cleavage. Not that I have a ton of cleavage, but the built-in-bra had underwires that let me make adjustments so it gave the illusion of more. I loved this dress.
Most of my hair was on top of my head in a loose bun with curls spilling out, and I topped the outfit off with black heels. It was an elegant look, especially with my full length black overcoat, which was too much for this time of year in Chattanooga, but Chicago is cold and windy.
Lauren planned to drive to her friend’s house after Abbott picked me up, but Xiaolan needed to leave now in order to meet her friends. We said goodbye to Xiaolan, and Lauren and I sat in the living room to wait.
I’d timed it well, so we only had around ten minutes until he should arrive, and we easily filled the time with conversation. The doorbell caught both of us off guard, and we laughed as I did one more twirl on the way to open the door.
Chapter Sixteen
Abbott always looked good, but tonight he was downright yummy. He wore dark charcoal slacks, a lighter charcoal turtleneck, and a very cool black trench coat that hung to the back of his knees. It almost looked like a vampire cape, and I wondered if it was intentional.
I did the formal introduction thing, and Abbott held his hand out to shake Lauren’s hand. She put her hand in his and went as still as a statue. Abbott realized something was wrong and looked at me. I reached my arm around Lauren and she pulled her hand away from him and sank into me, whispering, “Mom, he’s a m-m-monster. He’s, he’s... there were teeth... and... his eyes and... “
Oh, shit. I’d known she could pick up things about people, I’d even done my best to encourage her to listen to that inner voice. Where my parents had effectively squashed any metaphysical abilities I’d been born with, I was trying to help her trust whatever instincts she might have. However, this was bigger than anything I’d seen from her before, and I quickly made the decision it was a good chance to remind her to look into people’s hearts, too.
I pulled her into a hug and said, “What’s truly important is who people a
re on the inside, right? Remember our discussions about not judging people by how they look, but by what’s in their heart? Can you tell me what’s in his heart? Is he a good monster, or a bad monster?”
I projected towards him, Please just be still and quiet a moment. Trust me to handle it in a way that won’t threaten anyone. Please?
He didn’t respond, but he stayed frozen, which I hoped was a good sign. I’d promised to keep his secrets, but I wasn’t going to mislead or lie to my daughter about the things she sensed. It was important she learned to trust her inner voice and inner sight.
Lauren was quiet a moment, her head buried in my neck as she sensed into his heart.
“He’s done some very bad things,” she said, “but he’s not bad. He wants to be good, and most of the time he is.”
“Very good, I’m proud of you for having the courage to look again. Now, I want you to open your eyes and look at him when you aren’t touching him. I’m holding you, you’re safe.” She turned and looked at him, and I kept my voice low and even. “Do you see a monster now, or just a man?”
She looked back at me. “He looks normal, but I know the truth.”
I could feel the tension in the room, and I measured each word. I’d promised I would tell no one their secrets, but I was only walking her through what she’d sensed herself. I didn’t want Abbott to blood bond her, and I didn’t even know if he could. He hadn’t tried with me because whatever Aaron did politically took away Abbott’s authority to even try, but I figured he’d want to bind a child to take away her option of telling.
Still, I’d taught her to meditate, and she had some pretty good shields. It was possible they wouldn’t be able to get into her mind enough to bind her, either.
I brushed her hair away from her face and said, “But if you were to tell anyone what you’d seen, they wouldn’t believe you, would they?”
“No, it’d be like when I told Caroline we’d seen ghosts and stuff when we went camping. It was awful.” Her friend hadn’t believed her, and the girls hadn’t spoken for weeks because Lauren was so hurt at not being believed.
“Right, since Caroline can’t see them, they don’t exist in her world. And it’s not just her, that’s what her parents have taught her, too. You know you can talk to me about any of this, but if you talk to anyone else they may end up being mad at you because they won’t understand, right? And you know I won’t back you up on any of it. It’s dangerous in our society to talk about things other people can’t see, and I expect you to use your common sense and not say things to people who won’t understand.”
She whispered, “Yes, mom, I know. Are you still going to go out on a date with him?”
“You said he wants to be good, wants to choose to do good instead of bad, right?”
“Yes, but—”
“No buts,” I interrupted. “If you say he’s a monster on the outside then I believe you, and I want you to trust whatever you saw — I don’t want you to second guess yourself. But I agree with you on the rest, too. I think he’s good, and not a monster on the inside, so I’m not going to judge the rest of it. “
She raised her voice, not believing I could still want to go on a date with him. “But he’s a MONSTER!!!!”
I used my mom voice to say. “Maybe so, but he’s a guest in our home and now you’re just being rude.”
She glared at me, and I smiled and spoke in what I hoped was a reassuring voice. “I’ll be fine. I see what you see, that his heart is good, and that’s what’s truly important.” I gave her another hug, and then herded us all out the front door.
We walked her to the truck, I gave her a hug and kiss, promised again to text when the plane landed, and watched her drive away.
I drive a BMW 3 Series Gran Turismo, but I also have a Toyota Tundra for use when I go to the woods. Lauren had learned to drive in the Tundra and it was now considered her vehicle. I planned to get her something else later, but for now I was happy having her in a large truck with tons of safety features.
As we headed towards Abbott’s car, he said, “I thought…”
He stopped and then started again. “She is adopted. I thought anything that passed from parent to child was genetic. How is this possible?”
“Yes, she was adopted, but now she is my child. The adoption is past tense, it happened seven years ago and was a legal proceeding that took place in a courthouse in China. Now she is my child — present tense. It may seem like a small detail, but words are important. As for how this kind of thing is passed down, I’m not so sure it’s all genetic. I mean, I remember all sorts of stuff from when I was little, things my parents insisted weren’t possible and even spanked me for insisting I saw, since I was obviously lying because they wanted to believe it was impossible for me to see what I claimed.” I shrugged. “Eventually, I believed them, in spite of what I could see and sense and feel. I think this happens too often with humans, where our religious teachings say anything we experience outside of our normal five senses is evil, even though much of what happened in the Bible is impossible by today’s standards. Burning bushes, turning water into wine, healing sick children, numerous visits from angels, and wives turning into pillars of salt? Anyway, all I’ve done is teach her to trust her instincts, and to trust the inner voice that talks to her. Where I have an inner voice, she tends to have inner sight. Different, but the same.”
He opened the passenger door of a sleek black Jaguar, and I got in. I knew he’d hear me as he walked around the car, so I didn’t wait for him to round the car and get in.
“To be honest, I had no idea she’d see what you were when she touched you, and I’m a bit freaked out about it. She won’t talk to anyone though, we had this... interesting... adventure with some ghosts when we camped out over the summer, and she tried to tell her friend about it and it didn’t turn out well. She won’t be sharing about strange things again, and even if she did, no one would believe her. Also, she’s learned over the years that I won’t talk to non-believers about it, not even to back her up. I needed to teach her a harsh lesson about how our society views such things, and it took.”
“Do you really believe all humans have some kind of latent ability that’s taught out of them as children?”
“Probably not all of them, but I believe there are some with abilities their parents teach out of them. I remember being able to see the air as a child, and it was thicker around people, plants, and animals. I remember seeing it heavier at times and lighter at times. Now I know I was seeing energy and auras. I’ve been able to do it a few times again as an adult, usually after spending a long time in a meditative state, or after participating in a sweat lodge. I’m still a bit ticked at my parents for beating that ability out of me, to be honest.”
“Beating it out of you?”
“Uh, yeah. There was no sparing the rod for them. They weren’t very inventive with their discipline, it was all about the spanking, the only difference in severity was whether I’d be clothed or naked. Clothed was for minor transgressions like looking at them the wrong way, naked was for everything else. They’ve both apologized to me, back in my mid-twenties when I confronted them about it, and they don’t spank Lauren. Really, when I see them with her I’m a bit jealous that these aren’t the people who raised me. But, I guess they were young, and there were no books to read about other ways to teach consequences.” I shrugged again, and looked out the window. I’d mostly forgiven my parents for the way they raised me, so I added, “Other than not being able to enjoy sex unless it involves pain, I guess their abuse didn’t mess me up too bad.”
“Do you think this is why you’re a sexual submissive?”
How had we gotten into this conversation, anyway? Oh yeah, I brought it up. Shit. “I don’t know. It’s just the way I’m wired and there’s no rewiring me at this point, but I’m okay with it. Maybe I’d be this way even if they’d never spanked me. I don’t blame them for it, most of the time. Though, I do blame them for making me grow up without my connection t
o Source, without the connection to All That Is. I know I had it as a child, and then I had to fight so hard as an adult to get it back. So, yeah, I do blame them for that, but, not for my twisted sex life. I can’t blame them for everything.”
And then I blushed, because there’s one part to my being a sexual submissive that my mom has made quite complicated, and no way was I going to talk to him about that. Not tonight, anyway.
“Oh, there’s something more,” he said, “something I’m guessing is quite interesting. What did you just think of?”
Crap. Fucking vampire senses. He’d likely smelled something.
“Another time,” I said, trying to be casual. “It looks like we’re at the airport, anyway.”
The Chattanooga airport isn’t big, but he parked in a small lot down the road, in front of a large airplane hangar.
I soon discovered it’s super-cool to step out of your car, walk twenty yards, and climb the stairs onto the plane. No security, no parking hassle. I hadn’t brought any weapons, but it turned out I could’ve. Maybe not my gun because we were headed to Chicago, after all, but I’d have been fine with a well-placed knife. However, this was a date and I shouldn’t need anything. Plus, Abbott was apparently quite powerful in his own right, so he should be able to handle anything that came up. Not to mention, I have a few other weapons, the kind airport security is never going to pick up on.
The jet wasn’t over-the-top extravagant, but gave the feel of simple luxury and it made me like Abbott that much more. I was introduced to Paul the pilot and Steve the attendant, there was some polite small talk, and then we took our seats and put our seatbelts on.
I’d expected luxurious first class seats, but these seemed more like your basic business class seats, but with more leg room than you find on a commercial flight. However, I figured we were seeing less than half of the plane, and I couldn’t help but wonder what was in the back half. Maybe there were beds, which would make sense for why the seats up here didn’t need to fully recline, but I didn’t ask.
Only Human (Kirsten O'Shea Book 1) Page 16
