by T J Reeder
I then headed for Ralph and told him what was going on. He said he didn’t think I’d fall for it. I told him I didn’t… that ‘they’ all fell for it.
I headed off to gather Charley and a few of his lads and explained what and why we were doing. He just nodded and told his lads to decide who was going to go with us. I listened to the argument going on in Navajo and asked if they were fighting over not going with the troops. He laughed and said, “No, John. They are arguing over who has to stay. We all know wherever you go will be the most fun and the hottest fight and generally a great clusterfuck.”
I wasn’t sure how to take that, but then it was time for them to roll. We headed for the plane where we found Sandy and May already loaded in with their usual five hundred pounds of ammo and Ralph looking worried. Sandy said, “You didn’t really believe we bought that shit did you?” May opened her mouth and I said, “Shut up!” She said, “Geez, you’re a grumpy old shit.” Even the scouts laughed. It was shaping up to a three Excedrin day. Sandy sat in the co-pilot’s seat and was pestering Ralph; I figured he might crash us just to get the last laugh on her.
Then we were up and gaining altitude by the second. Ralph was really climbing hard, then I saw cactus out my window and thought, “Oh, Shit!” but we were OK. He just had to clear a hill right in front of us. We went from 50 feet off the road to 5 feet, but we were up and away. Sandy was giving him shit over something but it was making him laugh so it must be OK.
We circled way out and then slow-poked along waiting for the word that our lead elements were in contact. And then they were, and the fight was on. The enemy had camped in a low spot between hills right next to the road and our lead hummers rolled right up on them with the guns screaming. We watched it unfold from about 2,000 feet (which ain’t high at all when bullets are flying) but the enemy had more than they could handle on the ground without looking up.
Joe and Willy had sent people out on the flanks and caught the runners heading out away from the road. A lot of them made it to vehicles and were streaming down the highway only to run right into the anvil a mile down the road. Those Texans lit them up like it was Christmas; I guess they hadn’t had as much fighting as we have because they went at it tooth and nail. They stopped them and then went in on foot in a wild-assed charge. I swear I could hear the ‘Rebel Yells’ from up in the sky. It was something to see and just what our people are trained to not do. But Texans are a bunch of crazy fuckers and never listen to anybody when it comes to drinking or fighting.
They were doing a superb job of it, and with the ‘no prisoners’ rule they had decided they were making up for the Alamo. We were climbing and finally Ralph yelled something and pointed down and there we saw the usual bunch of black Suburbans running in line down the highway at speed. There was five of them so that meant at least 16 shooters and the three brothers. Ralph went higher and got well ahead of them and spotted a good place to land right on the other side of a nice hill.
He kissed her onto the roadway smooth as usual and we piled out and headed for the hill while Ralph taxied down the roadway away from the coming mess.
We spread out in teams of two and waited for them to roll over the hill. I figured the brothers would be in the third vehicle so we needed to stop the first and fifth first then hose two and four. I wanted to see these bastards up close and personal.
They came flying over the hill and down at us at around 60 mph. The last team shot up the first Burb as it went past causing it to leave the road and roll, number five was hit and did the same, leaving two and four to the others. Charley and I shredded the tires on number three. It didn’t roll but it slid all over the roadway then hit number two. It was like watching an action movie except the bullets were real.
We were up and running before the brothers could get their wits about them. We jerked the doors open and dragged them out. Sandy got there in time to shoot the driver while May got the bodyguard in the front seat. My girls: Never far from the fun.
Only one problem was, there were only two assholes in the back seat- brothers without a doubt but two don’t make three even with new math. They landed face down in the road with me standing on one’s chest and Charley on the other one. Mine was screaming loudly in Spanish. I asked Charley what he was saying. Charley said he was making suggestions as to what I could do with my mother. I don’t like that talk, so I quit standing on his chest and stood on his balls instead. That seemed to take the wind out of his sails.
Sandy and May joined us after (I’m sure) checking the car for anything they might want to haul home. They never let a firefight stand in the way of their collecting. Charley started asking questions and was getting nothing. Sandy sat on one’s chest and clicked the switchblade and smiling all the time cut the dudes ear off. When he stopped screaming he went to babbling. The gist of it was their older brother was the big fish and he had remained in their mansion about a hundred miles away. They hadn’t reported anything yet because their communications unit was taken out in the main camp. These dickheads were as inept at being outlaws as any I had even seen. But maybe big brother was the real bad guy. We got it all from them, everything they had.
Sandy was for staking them out on anthills. I told her she was spending too much time with the Apache language teachers. Charley said we should take them with us in case we needed more info. I sided with Charley. I looked at May who said, “What?” I will admit I laughed; she was so cute when she was stumped. We took tires off the wrecked Burbs and got one of the others running as well. With two rigs and our whole crew it was tight, so the girls and Charley and me went with Ralph in the plane. The vehicles took off and we headed out to locate the bad guys’ home plate.
Flying high we soon spotted what had to be their compound, and it was crawling with people. We flew back over the Burbs who had five-watts and told them to find a hideout for the day- we needed the main unit. Then we headed back to find our people.
Ralph set down on the road and rolled to a stop near the truck with the bird juice. Fox and Willy joined us; JJ and Joe were running down the ones who made it clear. I wondered why Fox let JJ go without him, until I saw him limping. He was really acting funny.
Sandy got close enough to look and said, “Hey Fox! You got a bullet hole in the toe of your boot” and then started laughing. May joined her, and life for Fox just took a turn for the worse. He tried to ignore them, but I knew from experience that wasn’t possible. From that day forward he would be known as ‘Nine Toe Fox’. I almost felt sorry for him but I remembered all the ‘bullet magnet’ comments, then I started laughing.
Sandy and May were after him to let them see it; they have no mercy in them, not a shred, none at all. One of the Corpsmen showed up and said, “Sit down, Fox. Let me see it.” Fox said he would die first, but the girls attacked him while he was weak and got him down and sat on him while Doc took the boot off. The tip of his big toe was gone; it wasn’t bad but it was funny. Yep, the legend of Nine Toe Fox was born that day. I felt like some of the heat was taken off me right then and there, and it felt great!
But it was short lived when Sandy told Fox it wasn’t as bad as getting shot in the ass. I hate her.
After they stopped beating up on him, I told Fox what had happened, and all we knew about the last brother holed up in his fort. Fox sat a moment and said, “Well fuck it. Let’s just go kick his door down.” The girls high-fived with him and the war was back on track. JJ and Joe showed up right then and said they had got all of the runners. Sandy asked JJ why he let his buddy get shot. May said, “Yeah, I thought you squids stuck together.” JJ flipped them off and sat down and lit a joint (OK, so he’s a bit different). Sandy asked where he got the weed, and he said off a dead guy…the same place he got this- and he hauled out a super-pimped out 1911. It was so garish even a pimp wouldn’t carry it, but my girls ain’t pimps and in a heartbeat had jumped JJ and were rolling around trying to get the gun. JJ was laughing at them, he’s smaller than them but tougher than a boot. I was just ho
ping the damn gun was unloaded.
Finally, he let them have it and watched them complain about how some assholes could fuck up a perfectly good gun. He said, “OK, I’ll keep it”, and they both growled at him. I think even JJ was shocked at that. Me? I wouldn’t have the thing as a gift, it was that bad. Somebody had put a ton of work into it; engraving, gold filled, all that crap. It was Butt-fugly is all I can say, but they wanted it, so the damn thing would be taking up space in our home. I told JJ I hated him. He said, “Good. I hate you back for not helping me with them.” I laughed and said, “I’m not stupid enough to drag out something like that in front of them.” He winked at me; he loves them and goes out of his way to find stuff for them- kids in a candy store.
We had a war to finish, so we got to getting to it. By dark we were rolling, and we left the mess
to the desert to deal with. Ralph took off and flew cover while we rolled. The girls had gone with him, more to sleep than anything else. Charley and I slept in the back of a scout hummer and in short order we met up with the rest of our people in the Burbs. We set up a night lager and waited for morning with a few people on guard duty. Morning found us drinking coffee and eating our own trail mix- it was filling but that’s it.
Ralph had landed and the girls had joined me in a pile of bedding. As usual I was dog piled, but I wasn’t alone and that was good. The coffee tasted really good, sitting over a campfire. It was hard to believe there is good after the day before, but there is, being alive, making scumbags un-alive, thinking about all the people we saved by wiping out this stain on humankind…it wasn’t maybe gods work, but it would do for the here and now.
I went up with Ralph and the girls and did a recon of the headquarters of the bad guys. It was still there, but nobody looked like they were all excited about anything. We were so high up, we really couldn’t tell. But the scouts that had moved in could see just fine and their five-watts worked great for us. They said there was maybe a hundred shooters milling around and it looked like maybe they were about to head out, so we needed to hit them hard and fast. I called Joe and told him I wanted the trucks with the mortars moved up fast and as soon as they were ready we would call the shots for them. It took about an hour before they were ready; we had four 81 mm mortars set up in the back of 6x6 trucks and trailers of ammo behind each truck.
I heard the ‘shot out’ call over the radio and moments later two rounds blasted dirt into the air. Both were short by a couple hundred yards. I was calling the range and watched the rounds hit almost in the compound which was a wild-assed mass of running people. Two vehicles tried to get thru the main gate, causing a jam up when they locked up. The next two rounds were right in the compound, and from there it was just time on target with all four mortar teams working their asses off. The gunners worked the adjustments like they were fine-tuning a priceless fiddle. They tore the place apart. I did stop them from hitting the house, figuring any women and kids would be inside. By this time our troops were at the walls and it was like shooting fish in a barrel.
Our people were inside shortly and clean up was going well. Ralph landed on the road and taxied to the gate. We piled out and charged into the mess, there was still a lot of shooting going on. These people knew they were dead and weren’t going to hang. I was running beside the girls when I heard Sandy let out a ‘woof’ sound and drop. I slid to the ground beside her but she was already trying to get up. I opened her shirt and found what looked like an AK bullet in her vest. I pulled it clear and saw it was bent- it had to have been almost spent from whatever it hit first. Sandy took off leaving me standing there waving a ‘Look! I’m not moving! Shoot me!’ sign.
I found them behind a low wall shooting the hell out of a small building that seemed to have a lot of firepower coming out of it. It was too close to try a mortar round, then I heard that old ‘blooping’ sound and watched a grenade fly thru a window, followed by several more as fast as the shooter could load. The building was blowing apart. A few ran out but never got more than a few steps before dropping. May was loading and firing as fast as she could and laughing every time one went off. Where in the hell the bloop gun came from is beyond my wildest imagination. They always seem to have it, but I never see it; I just hear it go off at the right time. I love these wild creatures, and they are in their own chain of evolution separate from the rest of us. But some things never change. We are in the middle of a blazing firefight and they are arguing over whose turn it is to use the damn thing. I swear if we get out of this alive I will scour the world over until I find another one so they can both play.
The shooting was slowing down, the little building was burning like a gas station and then it blew up…like way up. It must have been their ammo shed with who knows what stored in there. Ammo wouldn’t do that, C-4 just burns really hot, so they must have had some other stuff all ready to use and…oops.
We were behind the low wall and weren’t hit by the shit flying thru the air. All the windows on this side of the mansion were blown out, (the ones still in the frames, that is).
All the shooting had stopped with the blast so we took off for the front entryway. The door was open and nobody was shooting at us so we went in. There was bodies all over the place, but none belonged to the brother. We searched the whole place and found the families in the basement, crying and scared to death.
Charley and May talked to them and quieted them down. None would say where the brother was, but one of the little ones kept looking at a nice Navajo rug used as a wall hanger. I moved it and found a door behind it. Before I could take a step several of the scouts blew past me and were running down a tunnel. I watched them for a moment and told Sandy to come with me and headed up and out the back of the house.
Sure enough, there was a barn about a hundred yards from the house. We took off running, followed by everybody who saw us running, damn adrenalin junkies. The worst part was they were all passing me like I was walking, but none could catch Sandy- this prick was hers.
I heard shooting start up in the barn and knew the scouts had caught up with the bastard but he wasn’t out of the fight. His bodyguards were buying him time to make his getaway. He came flying out the barn door on a big dirt bike and ran right into Sandy’s rifle being used as a baseball bat. He flew off the bike like he had a rope tied to his ass and a post.
When he was able to open his eyes he was looking at her .45. I stopped trying to run or even trot…hell, I couldn’t even amble. I just stopped and watched the show. She didn’t shoot him, she made him get up and the scouts tied his hands behind him and headed for the main house.
I just followed along wondering what she was going to do; she can be kind of unpredictable at times. Well, OK, often… fine! A lot of the time I don’t have a clue, OK? (Why am I talking to myself?) May walked up and said, “John? Who you arguing with?” I just smiled at her and asked her if I had told her I loved her today? She said, “Of course! You say it first thing every morning.” I do? I’m slipping. Then she smiled and said, “John, you say it with your eyes, your touch, the way you look at all of us. You say ‘I love you’ in more ways than any man I’ve ever seen.” I let out a long-held breath; I just knew I was in trouble. She kissed me and said, “Dodged one, huh?” I almost said I hated her but didn’t. Instead I kissed her back and said, “What’s she doing with that guy?”
May said she had no idea, but he was the one who caused this shit and killed Sandy’s young friend so it wasn’t gonna be brownies and coffee by the fire. I think she was right.
We headed into the big house where Sandy pushed the man into a chair and said something to a scout. He nodded and took off followed by two more, they returned shortly with a woman and two kids. All were scared to death, but it was plain to see it was the elder brother who scared them.
Sandy asked Charley to translate for her and proceeded to tell the woman and kids the entire story from start to right now. She told her about the nice young man murdered by her husband or whatever he was. About the men we may h
ave lost in this mess all because her man wanted revenge for his brother who wasn’t worth a pile of buzzard shit (which he in fact was since he was dumped in the desert).
The woman just looked at her while she talked, as did the kids. Finally when Sandy stopped, the woman said in perfect English, “Thank you!” “For what?” Sandy asked. “For saving my children from this piece of dog shit” she replied. She said he had taken her from her husband after killing him three years before. She said before the EMP he and his three brothers had run a major part of the drug traffic in Mexico.
She said before the lights went out they were very bad men but afterwards they really got bad, thinking of themselves as gods. They took what they wanted, killed any who even looked at them in a manner other than fear. She said she and several of the other women were from a village about 50 miles away. Sandy asked if they wanted to go home. The lady started crying saying yes over and over. So we were going for a ride.
Sandy told her to tell the other women they could leave, because the place was going to be burned to the ground. The woman smiled and said, “Good!” She headed back to the basement to spread the word. They were told to take whatever they wanted and we would haul it for them, and they did! Right down to the carpets on the floors.
