by T J Reeder
When morning came I woke up to the fire crackling and coffee boiling. I opened my eyes and there sat Charley holding out a steaming cup of coffee. I was so stiff I groaned when I sat up, but he was nice enough to not comment. I drank my coffee half down before I realized it was laced very heavy with Jim Beam. When I stopped coughing I smiled at him and said, “I was thinking about you last night.” He smiled back and said, “I know.” We sat that way for a while, quiet and listening to the desert coming to life. Finally I asked him if he was really here. He said, “Yes, my brother, I’m here.” I asked him why he was here. He said it was time for me to come home. I had to think about that for a minute and said, “What’s the rush?” He said, “John, you’ve been gone for over a month and a half.” I couldn’t believe him. He handed me a small survival mirror. I looked into it and saw a stranger with a beard and gaunt-looking face.
I was blown away, this couldn’t be true….could it? I had ran away? Leaving my family? I asked him how he found me, and he said he sent scouts out looking when I didn’t come home the next day. They reported finding me a few days later riding around the lake country and visiting with everybody I met. He told them to stay close but to not let me see them. I asked if my family was OK. He said they were fine, other than being a bit worried about me. They had started to come looking for me, but Old Woman told them I was on a spirit quest and would return when it was time. Several days ago she sent Charley to get me; she said it was time and I needed to be brought home.
I was pretty well blown away by all this and after another cup of coffee I was up saddling Buck, but Charley said Buck and Molly were riding home in style. He waved his hand and two of his lads walked out of the desert. Both said hello to me and shortly I heard a truck coming up the wash. It was the same old truck they used to haul horses around the area. Buck walked in like he was tired of this shit and wanted to go home, too. He was looking gaunt- not sickly, just from too long without proper feed. Molly was very grateful to climb into the trailer with Buck. The young men loaded up everything and were gone. I followed Charley out of the wash and found a road with a hummer waiting for us. Charley drove and I sat enjoying the ride.
I asked where we were, and he said about 150 miles from home- that’s by road, the route I took covered hundreds of miles. We rode along not talking for an hour or so before I asked him if I had a nervous breakdown.
He said no, that I just needed time to get my head right and my spirit cleansed. “Of what?” I asked. He said, “John, you have led our people for three long years of fighting; fighting for our lives, our freedom, our survival. You hurt every time one of our people dies and you feel like you let that person down, but you’re wrong. In war shit happens. You know that, but someplace along the way you started taking each death into yourself and feeling the pain of it every minute. This was your way of letting it go.” I asked him how he knew so much. He laughed and said, “Mom told me.” I laughed so hard I cried. I always forget that Old Woman is his mother.
He said when we got back she was taking charge of me and was going to do a cleansing ceremony and I had no say. I was so tired I didn’t care. We got almost home and he pulled off into a small feeder canyon where we found Old Woman waiting. She was standing near a domed shelter. I got out of the rig and walked to her. She just pointed at the hole I was to crawl thru. Charley told me to strip off and to lie on the blanket. I did, and it was cool and dark inside. Old Woman came in with a gourd cup and said, “Drink.” For once I just did it with no questions and surprisingly it was OK.
I lay back with my head on a rolled blanket and I don’t really know anything from then on. I know there was some sounds like a flute and maybe a quiet drumming sound. I heard whispery voices and heat, so much heat and I was dying for a drink. I was handed the gourd cup with the same stuff in it. Time passed but I wasn’t really aware of it, I could just tell- like when you sit or lay too long without moving. I think I saw shapes flitting around me. I heard sounds- distant gunfire, screams and yells, laughing and crying, birds calling and my eyes came open and I wasn’t inside, I was lying by a creek among willows. I felt wonderful but wasn’t sure I could move so I tried moving a hand. That worked, so I moved another one. I was pretty sure two was all I ha, so I moved my feet- no problem. I sat up. Great. I stood up and stretched and it felt wonderful.
I saw a pool where the water had cut away the softer sandstone so I walked into it and froze my balls off. This is the desert! Where would cold water come from? But I was committed so I sat down and ducked under. When I came up I saw a bar of soap and a cloth, so I used them. I scrubbed every inch of my body and it felt wonderful. At last I had to get out or die of hypothermia. There was a big towel lying there and I used it.
When I turned around I found Charley standing there holding clean clothes. I dressed and took the ice cold beer he handed me and slowly sipped it. We sat for a while until I felt the need to ask how long I had been here. He said three days and nights; this was the morning of the fourth day. He said to ask no more because he knew nothing more. Old Woman had been with me the entire time while he and a few scouts kept the area safe. I asked, “Safe from what?” He said he didn’t know, but whatever it was had even bothered Old Woman. I asked if we were in danger but he said no- that it had passed.
On one level I couldn’t believe I wasn’t bouncing like a rubber ball and on another level I knew it was OK, whatever ‘it’ was, it was fine. We headed out of the draw and found the hummer. We were home in a hour, and as we walked into the communal area the ladies all said hello as if I had never left. We headed up the ridge trail and Charley left me at the turn off to his home. I walked on up and stood looking at my home. I could hear laughter coming from the open windows, and JC was yelling about something.
I stepped inside and saw my family all waiting at the big table. I walked to them and one at a time held them close and told them I loved them and that I was home and would never leave again. We all had tears running down but happy smiles too. JC was complaining as usual, Molly was sleeping by the fireplace as if it had fire in it.
I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t meant to leave; I had just taken a ride for an hour or so. I felt I owed them explanations, but I had none.
Beth placed a finger on my lips and said, “Shhhh.” She said the morning I left, Old Woman came and told them I was going to be gone a long time but in the end it would be a good thing. I sat down at our table and Kid served dinner and shortly Blain showed up and shook my hand but said nothing. I held JC for a while, until he demanded freedom to go do whatever it was he needed to do. I understood that.
We had a wonderful meal and were soon laughing at the stories Sandy and May were telling. They had been up to no good since day one of my trip. I was sure I’d be paying off damages soon. Beth’s beautiful baby bump was a lot bigger. I felt like I had missed so much but I also knew that whatever had happened needed to happen and things were better for it.
My first night home in my own bed felt strange and the bed seemed to be trying to smother me but it may have been the girls since all of them had piled into the bed. Daddy’s home.
When I woke up it was like I never left; coffee smells drifting thru the house, I was buried under several forms of tangled arms and legs. It took skill to get out of bed around here, but I made it and joined Kid in the kitchen where she handed me a cup of brew and followed me outside. It felt chilly, summer was ending. We set on the stump and I held her close. Keeping each other warm, we didn’t talk, we just sat and enjoyed the quiet of the day. Soon enough it would get a bit louder with the laughing and crying of children, the sounds of community, of family, tribe, whatever one calls it, we fit.
Soon I felt, more than heard, Beth arrive to stand behind me. She pulled my head back to rest between her breasts and I was truly home. She sat beside me and I held her close, of course holding them both meant I couldn’t drink my coffee. Kid, being ever helpful, held my cup to my mouth so I could. Life’s perks.
I soon hear
d JC telling the world he was awake and demanded freedom. Before Kid could move we heard the sound of little feet slapping the floor and there came my son. He was free on his own, the world was now in danger and I was grateful for the fence around the place. I had not a second’s doubt he would jump off the cliff into the water because the big kids did, and then quiet as a ghost my daughter joined us. She climbed up on my other knee and snuggled in close. She’s my huggybear.
And to complete the morning I heard the scuffing sounds of ‘them’ as they joined us. I cringed at the thought of the old quilt, but wonder of wonders it was different. Something had changed. It took a bit to realize it had been patched and washed! I couldn’t believe it.
Before I could open my mouth, Sandy said, “Shut up, John.” May said, “Yeah, what she said.” Now I was home!
Breakfast was a huge affair. Blain showed up with a whole slab of bacon, followed by Old Woman and Charley. We males were banned from the house…well, JC wasn’t since food was involved they couldn’t keep him out. We males sat on the stump regarding the world. One of the many things I liked about Blain was his lack of needing to be talking. He fit right in with Charley and me.
Finally, Charley cleared his throat in preparation of speaking. When nobody else spoke up he said, “John, I think we need to tour the lake.”
I waited for him, but he seemed done so I said, “OK.” I knew whatever he had in mind would come out when he was ready. We sat for a while more and then he said, “I just think we need to do this.” I said, “OK.” He nodded, and it was settled.
After a bit, Blain (following Charley’s lead) made a small coughing sound and said, “Do we want to use a boat or a chopper?” Charley said, “A boat, maybe two, maybe pontoon boats.” Blain was learning fast. He waited for Charley to speak more but when he didn’t he said, “OK.”
After breakfast, we three headed down to the communal area where we found Joe and Willy along with ‘Nine Toe Fox’ and JJ. Now I knew something was up, something that required this bunch meant it wasn’t good.
Blain headed off down the shore where the boats were kept. There he met with ‘The Navy’ (as we called our boat keepers). They were led by a crusty old Chief petty officer who looked old enough to have sailed with John Paul Jones. He returned shortly and joined us with a nod to Charley. Charley smiled and nodded back. Since I was the odd man out here I waited for the meeting to begin, I smelled coffee and headed for the cooking area where I found coffee and brownies. Even the ladies here knew more than I did. So did my son: I heard a yell and here he came toddling down the trail!
We hadn’t latched the gate good enough. Right behind him came Kid. JC heard her and tried to run faster, but went down and rolled faster than he ran but she still had him.
It’s hard to scold a child while laughing and even Kid wasn’t good at it. She finally put him down and he made a bee line for me, then passed me like I was a rock. He knew who controlled the good stuff, and they were waiting for him. In a flash he was sitting at a table on a box with a brownie and milk. My son is not spoiled, when one is the ruler of the known universe things just come to you, such as the huge dog racing down the hill. Walker slid to a stop and tucked his tail and ducked his head when Kid lit into him about pissing away his duties- how was it the boy escaped without his keeper being there? Poor Walker, all he wanted was a bite of the kid’s treat but instead was getting his ass chewed.
My world is now normal again. I see my ladies coming down the trail. Molly, seeing the brownie being hogged, breaks into a run as much as she can. The trek we went on had taken its toll on poor old Molly, but she would let nothing short of death prevent her from being there to rescue anything that might fall from the table.
When the girls got there Sandy said, “Whatever it is that calls for a war council had best include us or your next war will be right here.” She is so cute when she’s trying to be tough. JJ made a snorting sound which she ignored. Instead, she took delight in asking how ‘Nine Toe’ was doing- was he learning to limp better? Fox just flipped her off, May called him a nasty little slut, and he flipped her off with two hands. Yes, things were the same, and I was home.
They finally settled down, but were trying to intimidate Fox by sitting right behind him. He just smiled.
Charley waited until things were quieted down before speaking. He said Old Woman had said we should take some extended patrols on the lake. She didn’t say more than that, but that was enough. Blain said the boats were being readied; he had some of the gun thugs loading ammo aboard as well as gear for overnight if needed. Sandy started to say something, but Blain said, “Yes, mother, there are rounds for that nasty old bloop gun, just for you.” She smiled at him and whispered something to Kid that got a blush.
Charley said we should leave at first light the next day. In truth I really didn’t want to go. I wanted to nap with Beth and the kids, but I’m the supposed leader of this clusterfuck, so I have to be there. I wanted to change one thing and asked Charley if maybe we should have Blain on standby with the little bird. He said that was a good idea. Blain just nodded, Kid jumped up and ran off but returned shortly. I knew she had given a heads up to the gear heads and the gun thugs to have the bird loaded and ready.
That had covered everything except who was going. Charley left that to the platoon leaders. Joe and Willy would send a few and Fox and JJ would have some of their cutthroats. All in all a fine load of pirates.
While we were all together, Sandy and May took off giggling. I knew somebody was in trouble, and they returned shortly, with two wrapped packages. They handed them to Fox, who immediately put his ear to the boxed one. He said it wasn’t ticking but that meant nothing, it could have a rattler in it. That would be kind of funny, or it might be full of tarantulas, which would not be funny.
Fox finally said, “Fuck it” and opened the long skinny one. It had a blackthorn cane in it with a silver wolf’s head. Fox just smiled and shook his head then opened the box- it held a black derby! He put it on, stood up and strutted around to the laughter of the entire crowd. May said, “Read the inscription on the cane!” He looked at it and busted out laughing and passed around. Each person in turn started laughing, and when it got to me I saw it read-
“To Matt Bastardson: aka Nine Toe Fox”
How they came up with this stuff was beside me, I never know what kind of crap they have put away. But Fox wasn’t done. He kept looking at the cane and after a bit twisted the Wolf’s head and pulled a 20 inch double-edged blade out of the cane! Everybody was crowding in to look at it and all were impressed- this was the real McCoy! Razor sharp, and very old. The girls were standing there with their mouths open in shock, they hadn’t known about the blade!
Immediately they went into salvage mode, trying to convince Fox it was just a joke and they were taking their cane back. Fox was laughing at them. Hell, we all were. It really was funny, and they gave away something they didn’t have in their collection! Poor babies! I told Fox he might want to start locking his door when he left. I love it when one of their stunts back fires on them.
We spent a quiet evening at home. Kid had a small fire going and was reading something from a book that looked six inches thick. She was engrossed in it, so I never bothered her by asking about it. I always hated it when I’d be reading in public and somebody would stop and say, “What ya reading?” I’d have to tell them, and then it was, Any good?” I’d have to say, “Yes it is”, then it was, “What’s it about?” One time I said, “ It’s about a guy reading a book and he finally got tired of being interrupted and shot the next one to ask about the book!” That one left fast.
Anyway, I didn’t bother her. Then Sandy walked in and said, “Hey runt, whatcha reading?” Kid looked up, then set up and went off on the most boring story about the book; she went on and on until Sandy yelled, “OK! I’m sorry I asked” and left the room, but Kid was on a roll. She followed right along and kept at it until even Beth asked her to please stop. She smiled and came back to the
bear skin, dropped down and said to me, “Now aren’t you glad you didn’t ask?” I pretended to be asleep.
Beth came in and slithered into my lap as slick as a barn snake after the eggs, (except she’s warm-blooded and smells good). She started giggling like a school girl then nudged Kid with her foot. Kid started in and soon we were laughing so hard we had tears running down. From the bedroom Sandy yelled out, “I can hear you! I hate you all!” We yelled back, “Do not!”
Then she was racing thru the door and dog-piled Kid and went to tickling her. Kid can’t stand it and will laugh so hard she will pee her pants, but Sandy let her go before that happened. Sandy lay there with her head on the book until Kid said, “I hope you know that book is 200 years old and worth about a million dollars.” Sandy said, “So what? I’ll pay for it.” A zoo, really, a zoo.
May wandered in and wanted to know what all the yelling was about. She had been napping with the kids, who were now wide awake and loose, so much for the quiet night. Home: Where the love lives.
Morning came as it usually does, a bed full of girl parts sprawled all over the bed with me trapped, but I’m now the expert and got out without losing any skin. Kid and coffee; the best way to start the day. We headed out but went to the end of the ridge where I asked her what she knew about the reasoning for the boat patrol. She said she had no idea- that Old Woman hadn’t said a word to anybody except Charley, and then just that ‘it needed doing’.
