by R. C. Martin
I don’t answer her question right away. Alternatively, I reach inside of my coat pocket and pull out the small envelope I scribbled my note on when I ordered the flowers. I hand it to her and she twists around to look up at me curiously before taking it and opening it.
“Jude,” she murmurs, turning around in my arms. Her eyes are brimming with tears again, and I bring my palms to her cheeks, holding her face, ready to catch any that fall.
“I’ve spent the last thirty-two nights in bed alone. I have no intention of enduring such loneliness again. Your things are someplace safe, ready for you to sort through at your convenience. All that you need is now at my place. Our home.”
“Holy shit,” she breathes. “We—wait—we—we live together now?”
“Yes.”
She chokes out a surprised laugh, shaking her head as if to clear it. I don’t let go of her face, and she grips onto my wrists as she looks at me in awe.
“What would you have done if I said no? If I didn’t take you back?”
I lean down and press a kiss against her lips before I reply, “I’m your forever. I wasn’t worried.”
“You’re so full of yourself,” she teases with a laugh, grinning up at me.
I offer her a sly grin in response. “When I get you home, you’ll be full of myself, too.”
Her smile slips as her grip around my wrists tightens. She lifts herself up on her tiptoes as she whispers, “Home…”
Hearing her say the word is surreal. Since I put this plan in motion, it feels as if this day wouldn’t come fast enough. Now she’s here. With me.
Fuck. I’m so fucking fucked.
I press my lips against hers, needing to taste her, wishing to feel the warmth of her mouth. When I flick my tongue out, she opens up for me with a sigh, reaching up to wrap her arms around my neck. I drop my hands to the small of her back, pulling her body flush against mine. I can’t get her close enough, and the layers of clothes that stand between us are maddening, making me all the more anxious to get out of here.
“Judah?” Teddy gasps, severing our kiss.
“Teddy?”
“There was really no one else? All this time, you haven’t…?”
“No one,” I reply firmly.
She nods, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of my neck.
“I had my three month check up with Dr. Murphy a couple weeks ago. I’m still clean.”
“Never doubted you would be.”
“Take me home. Please? Make love to me.”
I pull her against me tighter. I’m so fucking hard right now, my ache for her is almost unbearable.
“As you wish, sweetheart.”
Before we leave, she grabs a vase full of roses. She then tells me that she’d like to come back soon to photograph her collection before bringing the rest home. I promise to have it arranged and then we’re on our way. The entire trip, I’m so distracted by my lust, lost in the daze of my need, that I almost forget about her second gift. It isn’t until we pull into the driveway that I remember.
“Oh, my gosh, Judah—what happened to your Porsche?” she asks as we pull into the garage, parking next to the brand new, fully loaded, white Mini Cooper Countrymen that I had customized and delivered. It arrived just this morning.
“My Porsche is fine. It’s currently being housed in a storage facility not too far from here.”
“Oh,” she murmurs. I can tell she’s still confused as she looks from the car to me with a slight scowl. “I love the new car. But, Jude—it’s not really your style. You really drive that?”
“I didn’t purchase it for me. I purchased it for you.”
“Shut. Up.”
I chuckle, reaching for the vase of flowers she still holds in her hands. “No offense, sweetheart, but your car is a piece of shit. It’s not allowed in this garage. You can take a look at your new ride now, if you’d like. Just don’t take too long.”
“Judah!” she cries, her mouth dropping open in a small O. By the expression on her face, I can’t tell if she’s pleased or pissed. “You bought me a car?!”
“Yes,” I answer simply before stepping out of the Land Rover.
I hear her mutter a curse before she climbs out herself. She then steps up to her Mini Cooper, running her hand along the side as if to make sure that it’s real. I watch as she hesitantly opens the door, looking back at me before she sinks down into the driver’s seat.
“Oh, my god. He bought me a car. He bought me a fucking car,” she whispers—the words clearly not meant for my ears. She then laughs, grabbing hold of the steering wheel before looking at me once more. “I think I’ll call her Pearl. She’s beautiful. God—Judah—thank you! You really didn’t have to—”
“You belong to me, Theodora, and I take very good care of what is mine.”
She stares at me for a moment, not saying a word. Then, she steps out of the car, closing the door softly behind her. When she reaches out her hand, I grab hold of her fingers, tugging her gently. She comes willingly, leaning into my side as she looks up at me.
“I love you,” she says.
I pause, no longer surprised that I return the sentiment, but relieved that the woman I choose is so hungry to hear it. “I love you, sweetheart.”
“Show me.”
He sets my vase of flowers on the bedside table on my side of the bed.
Holy shit. Suddenly, my side of the bed now has a whole new meaning.
Before I can think too hard about the fact that the room in which I stand is now my room too, Judah begins undressing me. Looking up at him, I can tell that the desperation of his need matches mine—only, his hands move slowly. He takes his time, easing my coat off of my shoulders and onto the floor. Next, he licks his lips as he unbuttons each and every button of my shirt. When his long, warm fingers skim the skin from my collarbone, down between my breasts, all the way to the waist of my leggings, I almost forget to breathe. I’ve missed his touch more than I could ever find the words to express, and I’m growing impatient to feel him all over my naked body.
As soon as my shirt hits the floor, my bra is soon to follow. He doesn’t touch my breasts, which about kills me, before he guides me down onto the bed. I sit on the edge as he kneels in front of me and removes my boots and my socks one at a time. With a light touch in the middle of my chest, he encourages me onto my back before he hooks his fingers over the waist of my leggings and into my panties, sliding them ever so slowly over my hips and down my legs.
He stands to his full height again and looks down at me, reaching to grab his cock through his pants as he does. He gives himself a squeeze and I sigh anxiously, wishing he would stop torturing me and take me already.
“Let your hair down,” he instructs me as he finally begins to shrug his way out of his coat.
I sit up and do as he says, freeing my wavy locks from my hair tie. I run my fingers through it, sure that it looks like a hot mess as it tumbles down my back and drapes over my chest. My eyes grow wide in surprise when Judah rips open his shirt, his sudden impatience sending little buttons flying every which way.
I bite my lower lip in an attempt to hide my grin, my eyes drinking him in as he tugs his undershirt over his head. I grip my fingers, willing myself not to reach out to touch him—but I want to, so badly. I want to remind myself of the feel of his sculpted chest; of the way he feels both hard and soft, his warm skin against mine such a glorious comfort; of the way his sexy patch of fine, dark hair feels under my fingers—I don’t remember nearly as well as I wish I did, the details of my love lost with time. But here, now, with him standing right in front of me, I can hardly wait to have it all back.
When he toes his way out of his shoes and drops his pants, his hard cock springing free, I can no longer control myself. I’m on my feet before I even realize what I’m doing. But before my hands make contact with any part of him, he takes a step back and points to the bed.
“Lay down.”
“Judah…” I mutter patheticall
y.
“On the bed, Teddy,” he instructs, his tone unquestionable.
With a sigh, I turn my back to him, stripping the bed of the duvet before I stretch myself across the sheets, resting on my stomach. If he won’t let me touch him, I can’t look at him. For him to think I have such self control, today of all days, is expecting far too much.
I moan loudly when his hands mold around my ass, kneading my flesh roughly. I can feel it as my arousal begins to drip out of me, and my nipples have grown hard beneath me. I need more of his touch or I’m going to go crazy.
He sweeps my hair off of my back with the tips of his fingers, and then he begins delivering wet kisses up my back. The trail he leaves leads me to imagine that he’s following a single branch from base to tip—loving on my ink, loving on me, loving the scars that make me who I am.
“You’re so beautiful,” he speaks softly between kisses, now traveling across my shoulders. “God, I want you.”
“Judah,” I whimper, turning onto my back. “I’m right here. Take me. I’m yours,” I urge, sliding my hands up his chest.
With a grunt, he straddles me, grabbing hold of my wrists before pinning my arms above my head. “Don’t,” he demands, his breathing ragged. “If you touch me, I will fuck you harder than I’ve ever fucked you before. I won’t be able to stop. Don’t touch me, sweetheart. Let me touch you. I don’t want to rush this, understand?”
I offer him no more than a nod, my breaths now coming in short, shallow spurts. He leans down and kisses me, his lips hard and unforgiving. I arch my back, knowing that I won’t be able to reach him, but unable to keep myself from trying. When he pulls his mouth from mine, he latches onto one of my nipples, sucking me without mercy as he swirls his tongue around my hardened bud. It feels so good—so real and so right, and I’m glad that he’s still holding my hands down because I’m sure they’d be buried in his hair right now if I had my way.
He lets go of my right side to show the same affection to my left, and I squeeze my thighs together. I don’t know what else to do to find some sort of relief for the ache between my legs. When he finally starts licking and nibbling his way down my stomach, letting go of my wrists as he runs his hands along my arms before palming my breasts, I grow so excited I’m a squirming fool beneath him.
Just before he reaches the place I want him most, he rests his bearded cheek against me. I look down at him, wondering what he’s doing and why he’s stopped. After a second, I hesitantly lower my hands and push my fingers into his hair.
“Judah?” I whisper.
He moves, propping his chin against me, his gaze meeting mine.
“Hands.”
I let go of him immediately, grabbing two fistfuls of sheets—all the while wondering what it would be like to stoke the fire I see burning in his eyes. As much as I’m enjoying his methodical ministrations, I’m not afraid of experiencing him completely unleashed; especially not if it means I can have him inside of me right now. I’m so wet, and the more he touches me, the more I question where on earth his patience is coming from.
Then, almost quicker than I can blink, his hands are gripping the back of my knees, shoving my legs up as he spreads them wide. He sniffs along my slit, breathing me in, and I feel the faintest graze of his beard against my sensitive flesh. He mutters a string of curse words before he flattens his tongue against me and licks through my lips lazily. As if one taste is all it takes to shred the last ounce of patience he’s got, he devours me like never before.
His tongue is busy—inside of me, swirling around my clit, then back inside of me. He groans repeatedly, the vibration of his deep voice making me shudder. And his beard—his marvelous beard, rubs against me as he sucks on my clit. He feels so amazing, I can’t keep still; but his hands keep my legs wide open, and I’m trying so hard to obediently keep my hands to myself, I feel like I might come out of my skin.
“I’m going to—Judah!” As my orgasm bursts inside of me, I hold his head against me, not caring for a second if it pushes him over the edge. I want it to push him over the edge. I need him. I need him so badly. “Shit—I’ve missed your mouth,” I pant.
“Teddy?” he mutters, kissing his way up my body as he crawls over me.
My fingers slip from his hair, down his neck, and over his shoulders, my eyes locked with his when he rests his heavy dick against my lower stomach. “Yes, Judah?”
“What’d I tell you about your hands?”
I lick my lip before pulling it between my teeth, daring him as I run my nails across his shoulders and down his chest. When I trace the deep line of his hips and reach for his cock, he growls, and I know I’m so done for.
I can hardly wait.
I let him go as he pushes up on his knees, moaning softly as he slides himself over my clit. He then lines himself up at my entrance and eases his way inside of me. I hold my breath, savoring every single inch of him as he fills me up. I forgot. It’s been so long, I forgot what it felt like to feel whole. With him inside of me now, I know that he and I are exactly where we’re meant to be. Together.
He doesn’t move for a second; and as I stare into his eyes, I know he feels it too. Then he rests his hands on my hips, pressing me down as he leans into me. I see it as the warmth of love in his grey eyes is overshadowed by something else—something dark—something powerful. Whatever it is, it’s sexy and dangerous, and I’m breathless as I wait for it to manifest itself in this moment.
“Going to fuck this sweet cunt I’ve been dreaming of for weeks.”
Before I can even think to respond, he begins thrusting in and out of me like a man possessed. He clenches his jaw, his entire body lost in the act as he pummels me. It feels both good and slightly painful, and I’m overwhelmed. I feel myself start to tense up, unsure how to respond to him and a little embarrassed that I provoked him, thinking I could handle it.
“Come back to me, sweetheart,” he grinds out, slowing down his hips. He rams his cock into me and pulls out slowly before pounding it into me again. Every time I try to catch my breath, he steals it again. Then, one of his hands releases my hip as he feels his way up my stomach and between my breasts. “Relax, Teddy. I’ve got you.” As he says the words, his hand gently closes around my throat and I feel my body acting of its own accord. As if his word is law, my muscles begin to loosen. I spread my legs a little more and he smiles at me impishly. “That’s my girl,” he grunts, his thrusts now picking up speed.
As he continues to fuck me, the sound of his skin slapping against mine fills the room. I close my eyes, allowing myself to get lost in him. I concentrate on the feel of his hands—the tight grip on my hip, and the light one around my neck. I place one of my hands over his, the other grabbing hold of his forearm. I want him to squeeze my neck tighter. He does as I wish without me even having to say the words, and a rush of tingles washes over my entire body. It’s thrilling, knowing that I can surrender to the animal in him, knowing I’ll always be safe with him. Even when there’s pain, he’ll never hurt me because he loves me.
“Jude,” I sigh. With every hard thrust, I feel how much he missed me—how much he needs me—how much we need each other.
“Open your eyes, Teddy. Look at me.”
I obey immediately, my orgasm starting to blossom as I gaze up at him.
Then, just before I start to fall over the edge—he slows down again, easing out of me before pumping into me with everything he’s got. I whimper, the warm sensation at my center slipping out of reach. He fucks me slow for just a second longer, and then he takes me hard and fast. Twice more, he brings me to the brink of my climax before he robs me of my pleasure. I’m so frustrated, I feel like I might cry.
“Judah—Judah, please! Can I come? I want to come,” I beg.
“Fuck,” he mutters, squeezing my neck a little tighter. I arch my back, spurred on by his possessive touch. “Missed hearing you beg, sweetheart.”
“Make me come,” I plead. “Come with me—come inside of me.”
“Fucking hell,” he growls before he begins to buck his hips with abandon.
My orgasm starts to blossom almost immediately, and I’m more than ready to let it overtake me.
“Wait,” he demands through gritted teeth.
“Shit!” I cry, wishing he hadn’t said that. “Judah!”
“Wait,” he repeats, pumping even faster.
I dig my nails into his forearm as I hold on for dear life, wondering how long I’ll be able to obey. Then, just as I feel myself begin to slip, he roars, “Now!”
I cry out as my core clamps down around him. I can feel it when he swells and twitches inside of me, filling me with his own release. He continues to thrust, rubbing my clit with his thumb, extending my climax while he rides out his. When we are both completely spent, he lets go of my neck before collapsing on top of me. The weight of him suffocating me feels magnificent, and I wrap my arms and legs around him, hoping he’ll stay awhile.
“You okay, sweetheart?” he mumbles, still trying to catch his breath.
“Never better.”
“Fuck. That felt good. Missed your pussy, Teddy.”
I giggle, a blush heating my cheeks as I try and think of something to say in response. I come up short, my mouth not nearly as dirty as his. As if he understands, he shifts to kiss the tip of my shoulder before relaxing back on top of me.
“Tell me you love me,” I ask, wishing to hear the words; knowing that this time he’ll grant my deepest desire.
He turns his head so that his lips are pressed against my ear before he says, “I love you.”
My smile stretches into a grin, my heart swelling at his words. “Say it again,” I whisper, running my fingers through the damp hair at the nape of his neck.
“I love you.”
“Again,” I murmur, my voice even softer.
“I love you.” He kisses my ear. “I love you.” He kisses my cheek. “I love you,” he breathes before kissing my lips—his eyes open and staring down into mine.
