I walk with Roxie to the coffee shop, my head still whirling with thoughts and emotions. Roxie, too, seems in a daze, as if she can’t quite believe I haven’t yelled at her and stormed off in a fit of pique.
Roxie never lied to me—she didn’t deny having a child, and I knew she was hiding something. The truth, though, is that she has shocked me, and I don’t quite know what to do with the information.
I’m too much of a gentleman to say that I would never be interested in a woman who has a child, but I admit I’m nervous about it. I haven’t had many dealings with kids. My sister and brother both have children, but I’m not close to them, and I’ve never been hands-on. I barely see them, so when I do, they don’t come running to me with cries of “Uncle Caleb!”
I’ve not given too much thought to having kids of my own. It’s something I thought might happen one day, once I’d found Mrs. Right and married her, but that day has always seemed way off in the future. And anyway, that isn’t what we’re talking about here. It’s not as if I’ve gotten Roxie pregnant. She has a child by another man.
I put my arm around her as we walk, but we’re quiet, and I think we both know why. If James’s father isn’t in the picture, and I were to carry on seeing Roxie, I would be saying to her that I’m willing to take on the role of James’s dad. Because anything else wouldn’t be fair to her. They come as a package, even though the kid currently lives with her parents, and it would be cruel to say to her that I want to continue dating her, but that I don’t want anything to do with her child.
Is that what I want? To take up the role of father to a kid that isn’t even mine? I can hear Seb now, saying What the fuck? Just how crazy are you? I’ve only known Roxie a week. Why am I even thinking about getting involved? I should be sprinting back to my car and driving back to my apartment at a million miles an hour!
And then, just as quickly as the panic came, it recedes. I look at Roxie’s bowed head as she studies the ground while we traverse the short distance to the coffee shop. She was obviously pleased that I didn’t just walk off when I realized who the child was and that I’ve asked to meet him, but equally she must also be aware of what’s going through my mind.
She looks different without her bright makeup. Whereas on Saturday she was trying to make herself look too false with her blow-dried hair, today she just looks… lovely. This girl has been working two jobs—three, if you count the band—and studying at night, to earn money for her child. I have nothing but admiration for her.
I don’t have to ask her to marry me. All I have to do is decide whether there’s any chance of us making it to a third date.
We enter the coffee shop. Barbara is sitting at a table with James, who is eating a breakfast muffin, apparently putting more crumbs across the table than he is in his mouth.
Roxie slides onto the bench opposite her mother, and I join her. James looks up at me, eyes wide. Roxie scoops up the crumbs scattered around him and puts them back on his plate. She looks flustered.
Barbara smiles at me. “Would you like a coffee?”
“I’d love one.” I catch the eye of the waitress, and Roxie and I order a latte. “Would you or James like anything else?” I ask Roxie’s mum. She shakes her head. “We’re fine, thanks.”
The four of us sit in silence for an awkward few moments. Roxie’s cheeks have flushed, and I have the feeling she’s dying a little inside.
I have to do something. I have to make a decision now whether I want to try to make this work, or I might as well collect my latte and leave. I look at Roxie, studying her profile, remembering how we spent all evening playing the guitar and making love, and warmth filters through me as if I’ve already drunk the coffee.
I glance at Barbara, who smiles, then at James. He’s picked up a toy from beside him, and he’s trying to give it a piece of muffin.
And suddenly, I know everything is going to be all right.
“Makuta, huh?” I say to James. Have you got his red mask, too?”
They all stare at me. James looks at the toy, and for a moment I think I’ve misjudged, and he’s not one of those boys who knows every single detail about the Lego Bionicle legends—he’s very young, after all.
Then he says, “No. I lost it at the play center.”
“Ah, that’s a shame,” I reply. “The red mask is so cool. What about the golden one?”
“I’ve got that,” the boy states. “And Grandma bought me Umarak the Destroyer last week.” He can’t quite pronounce his ‘r’s and says them as ‘w’s. Uma-wak.
“Wow!” I’m genuinely impressed. I’m still a child at heart. “I had all the Bionicles when I was a kid.”
“Did you have the Bohrok?” He pronounces it Bo-wok.
“I did, all six of them.” I try to ignore Roxie’s incredulous stare.
“Gali is blue,” James says, giving his Bionicle another bit of muffin.
“She is. She’s the toa of water. Have you seen the movie?”
“Only every day since about the age of two,” Barbara says with a smile.
“Me too,” I tell James. “Every day before breakfast.”
That makes the girls laugh. James looks up at me, his shyness turning to curiosity. “What’s your name?” he asks.
“I’m Caleb.”
“Are you in Mummy’s band?”
“No, although I do play the guitar. I design tablets. You know what a tablet is?”
“Grandma has a red one. Sometimes I play games on it.”
“I make those. And mobile phones.” I pull mine out of my pocket, switch it on and enter the code, search for a simple game, and hand it to him. He takes it as if I’ve handed him a gold bar. “Thank you,” he says, and I warm even more to him.
“Are you sure?” Roxie says doubtfully. “His hands are sticky.”
“Nothing a good serviette won’t deal with,” I tell her.
She watches her son pressing buttons. “What if he accidentally dials one of your investors or something?”
“If we’re lucky, he might get us some new business.”
She laughs and meets my gaze. Her eyes are filled with wonder. “Are you for real?”
I smile. “He’s a lovely kid. He does you credit. Both of you.” I flick a glance at Barbara, who’s trying not to look as if she’s watching us.
“You’re not running away,” Roxie whispers.
“No,” I tell her. “I’m not.”
Chapter Eighteen
Roxie
Over the next few months, I see Caleb nearly every day.
In the week, we occasionally go out for lunch, and then we catch up after work, or later if I’m waitressing or have a gig. Sometimes he comes to my place; sometimes I go to his. Most nights, we make love—often more than once, but we also do so much more than that. We play the guitar, watch movies, listen to music, and sometimes just lie in bed and talk. Every now and then, we go out with Seb and Colette, or Harry and Gaby, and sometimes all of them with Elen and her boyfriend, Danny, with whom she’s hooked up again after a while apart, and to my surprise we all get on really well.
I’m dating, I realize after a couple of weeks. In the real, proper sense of the word. I haven’t dated since I was sixteen, and even then, it wasn’t like this. I’m so happy I must shine with the force of a thousand suns.
The main reason for my happiness is that I just love being with Caleb so much, and the way he treats me makes me feel like a princess. He buys me flowers and chocolates, he takes me out to dinner, and he looks at me like… I don’t know… like I’m someone.
The other reason for my happiness is the way he is with James.
When I’m on my own, and there’s nobody there to observe me being emotional, I have to admit that I sometimes have a little cry when I think about how lucky I’ve been. If I have introduced any of the men I’ve been with to James—and I’ve only done this a couple of times—they’ve stared at him like he’s an alien, and practically ignored him. One told me straight that he wasn’t g
oing to bring up another man’s child.
From that first day in the coffee shop, Caleb has been so sweet to James. We see him most weekends, and we take him out to the park or to the zoo. Caleb plays with him, carries him on his shoulders, teases him like a father should do, and although we haven’t discussed it, and I wouldn’t dream of suggesting it yet, I know that James is already starting to think of Caleb like a daddy.
I like that he doesn’t immediately throw money at the boy to buy his affection. He does treat him a lot, but then I suspect the man gets as much pleasure from buying and playing with the toys as the boy does. But it’s not like he goes into a toyshop and buys the whole two shelves of Bionicles to make James like him. He could afford to do so, I know it, but he understands that I wouldn’t want that. He does the same with me—he treats me, the way I suppose a man likes to treat his girl, but without making me feel uncomfortable.
It’s lovely taking things slow. We don’t talk about the future—we concentrate on the present, and just enjoy being together. In my head, I’m thinking it might be six months to a year before either one of us raises the issue of What’s Next. I have no plans to, anyway. I’m happy coasting, just enjoying being with him.
And then one night, in bed, when I think he’s fallen asleep after a particularly enthusiastic lovemaking session, Caleb says in the dark, “I want you to meet my parents.”
I open my eyes, then raise up on an elbow and stare at him. “What?”
He tucks an elbow under his head. The moon is half full and I can just see him, shining a dull silver in the moonlight. “I said I want you to meet my parents.”
“Why?”
He tips his head in the way that tells me he’s giving me an exasperated look. “Because I think it’s time they met the love of my life.”
I catch my breath, and my heart stutters to a stop.
We’ve told each other I love you, and Caleb’s always showering me with endearments, but it’s the first time he’s said something like this. The love of my life. A lump grows in my throat, and I have to swallow hard to shift it.
“Are you getting all fucking soppy on me?” I say, resorting to sassy, as I always do when I feel emotional.
“Yep.” He kisses my forehead. “So, what do you think?”
“I think you’re crazy.” Panic ripples through me. “I can’t meet your parents. They’ll hate me.”
“Well, I don’t think they will, and even if they do, I don’t care. But I think they should meet you. Because I’m going to marry you eventually, and I’m guessing they might want to be at the wedding.”
Now I feel faint. “What?”
He pulls me toward him and rolls onto his back so I’m lying on top of him. “Yes, you heard me. I want to marry you. I want you to be my wife. I want James to call me daddy, if you’re happy with that. I think you both deserve some security in your lives. And while we’re at it, I’d like you to move in with me, and then, once you’re settled, I think James should come and live with us.”
My jaw drops. He hasn’t mentioned moving in with him before, and even though we stay over each other’s places and have the usual drawer with spare clothes and a toothbrush, I’ve been happy with the setup.
But the thought of living with him, of not having to go home to my tiny apartment, and of having James there full time…
“Do you mean it?” I whisper.
“Of course I mean it.” He kisses me. “I love you, Roxie. I’m crazy about you. And I want to take care of you and James. Not that you need a man to take care of you—I’m very aware of that. But I’d like to help. It’s entirely up to you, but if you’re not paying out rent for the apartment, I thought you could give up the waitressing job. It might give you a bit more time for your studies.”
“You’ve been thinking a lot about this,” I say.
“I have. I’ve been enjoying planning our future.”
“Taking liberties again?” I try to be flippant, but my bottom lip trembles. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Are you getting all fucking soppy on me, Jones?”
I nod and squeak, “Yes.”
“Aw. Come here.” He kisses me and rolls us onto our sides so we can kiss and cuddle to our heart’s content, and I lie there and let him, trying not to cry, and thinking that I must have a fairy godmother after all.
Chapter Nineteen
Caleb
Roxie’s nervous, although she’d never admit it. She’s quiet in the car, which is a sign, but rather than push her to talk, I leave her to her thoughts. In the back, James is obviously picking up on his mother’s nerves, because he’s quiet too, and just plays with his favorite Bionicle in his car seat.
It’s not a long journey to my parents, only about forty minutes, and it passes quickly with us each lost in our thoughts. I surprise myself by not questioning my decision to take Roxie and James to meet them today. I love them both, and I do plan to marry her, so I feel it’s only right for them to meet her. But I’m not expecting it to go well. I’ve rung to tell them we’re coming, and I’ve told Mum a little about Roxie, including that she has a son, so at least they’re pre-warned. Mum just went quiet when I told her, so I guess she was thinking about what my father was going to say when she relayed the good news. I don’t care, really. I’d like their approval, but I’m not expecting it.
I glance over at Roxie, my lips curving up. She’s toned down her punk/biker image a little since we started dating—her own choice, and nothing to do with me. She ramps it up a bit when she has a gig, and she still wears her short skirts and her long boots, but today her hair is in a neat ponytail, and her pale pink lips match her pink sweater. She looks young and beautiful, and a touch edgy. I love that. I don’t ever want her to change.
We arrive at my parents’ house around two p.m. I know Mum will have baked several cakes and she’ll be using the best china. I hope Dad didn’t rant and rail at her for too long. I don’t know how she’s put up with him all these years.
We get out of the car, and Roxie unbuckles James from the back seat. Carrying his Bionicle, he runs up to me, and I take his hand as we walk up the path. We’ve become best buds, and I hope my mother, at least, will be pleased with that.
Mum opens the door, and it’s nice to see her face light up as her gaze falls on me. “Hello, darling,” she says, stepping forward when I bend to kiss her cheek.
“Hi, Mum.” I move back. “It’s good to see you again—sorry it’s been so long.” I turn to the woman at my side. “This is Roxie.”
Roxie holds out a hand, and Mum shakes it. “I’m very pleased to meet you,” Mum says. Her smile seems genuine, her look curious as she takes in Roxie’s appearance.
“It’s lovely to meet you, too,” Roxie says. “Caleb’s told me so much about you.”
“Oh!” Mum looks surprised, and pleased. “Well. That’s nice.” She turns to the boy at my side. “And you must be James.” She holds out a hand, and he places his tiny one in it shyly. “Why don’t you come in?” she says to him. “I’ve baked some cookies—if your mum says you’re allowed to have one.”
“Are they chocolate?” James asks, following her in.
“Of course! That’s the best kind.” Still talking, Mum leads him through to the living room.
I exchange glances with Roxie, and we go in.
In the living room, Dad’s sitting in his chair, but he rises as we enter. “Hello, son,” he says, holding his hand out to me, and we shake. He hasn’t changed much. A tad grayer in his hair, maybe, but he’s still tall and handsome, still as imposing as ever. I meet his gaze and lift my chin. I’m past letting him intimidate me.
“Dad, this is Roxie,” I tell him.
He shakes her hand. He’s too much of a gentleman to be openly dismissive, but I wait for a subtle sneer when she turns away, for his secret disapproval.
To my surprise, though, it doesn’t appear. He’s not exactly over-effusive, but he says, “Pleased to meet you,” and asks her about the journey as
we take our seats.
I didn’t realize I was on edge until this moment, when I let out a slow breath of relief as Roxie replies to him, and the two of them chat for a while. Mum concentrates on getting James a drink and letting him choose a cookie, and then asks him about his Bionicle, at which point he leans on her leg to show her Tahu’s special sword that turns into a surfboard.
Roxie’s nerves seem to have fled, and I listen to her talk about my guitars and how we have the same taste in music, and she tells my dad about the band she’s in with her brother. I’m surprised by how charming she is, then ashamed that I doubted it, because even though she can be sassy, I could see that she had a warm heart and a kind manner from the beginning.
She asks Dad about his law firm, and then reveals she’s studying to be a paralegal. Dad’s eyebrows rise into his hairline before he gathers himself. He then starts asking her questions about her studies, and before long the two of them are deep in discussion about certain aspects of the law, in such detail that it makes me sit back and watch her with admiration, because she doesn’t talk much about her course to me as I’m clueless about the law.
While she’s talking, James leaves Mum’s side, comes over to me, and climbs onto my lap. I don’t think anything of it until I glance at Mum and see her smiling. She winks at me before she returns to sipping her coffee, but I can see how pleased she is that James has taken to me.
We all talk for a while, and then Mum asks Roxie if she’d like a look around the house and garden. Roxie agrees, and with James she goes off with Mum to investigate the new flower borders and the greenhouse, which is Mum’s pride and joy.
I rise to have a browse of the huge bookcases along one wall, more for something to do than to read the books, and Dad gets to his feet and joins me, brushing the occasional fleck of dust from the covers.
“Thanks for taking an interest,” I say. “I appreciate that.”
“She’s a nice girl.” He squares up a couple of books. “She knows her stuff. Hard work always impresses me.” He turns to me then. “I saw an article online about Hearktech’s new Assistive Learning Device. I see it’s breaking new ground in the field.”
Like a Boss Box Set: Like a Boss Series Books 1-4 Page 26
