by Sara Gaines
“How will I find this place?”
As hard as Ori was trying to hide it, he was visibly nervous. Of course, I couldn’t blame him—he had to do this alone. Kahira’s tattoo would draw too much attention, especially if Dakmoran soldiers, even disguised, were walking through the streets of Halvarian cities. She had also made it clear that the tavern was most likely not the kind of place where I would feel safe, even with Ori’s protection. That left gathering the information we needed up to Ori.
The guard scratched his beard as Kahira answered him.
“We know which district it’s in, and if you pick the right person to follow, it won’t take long to find. You should be able to find the tavern, or find information from other sources if need be, by tomorrow morning. It’s probably wise you don’t stay much longer.” She nodded toward a large hill to the west. “The trees look thicker up there and should provide enough cover for Aleana and me. It’s unlikely there are any trails, but we’ll camp toward the top, and I’ll make sure you’ll be able to find us when you need to.”
Ori looked from Kahira to me, “Then I will see you there in a couple of days, hopefully with knowledge of why Dakmor’s armies are moving through Halvaria. Even if I can only talk to shopkeepers, I should at least be able to learn what rumors of Aleana have reached this far.”
“Good luck, Ori.” I hugged him briefly before climbing back into my horse’s saddle, and by the look on his face, he was not expecting such an informal parting.
The guard smiled for the first time in days. “Thank you, Aleana, I’m only sorry we can’t risk finding you a suitable bed for once.”
I returned his grin, trying to ease his tension. “I think I’m getting used to dealing without.”
Ori laughed lightly, though whether it was genuine humor or his anxiety getting the better of him, I could not tell. However, his face hardened as he turned toward Kahira, already in her saddle.
“Kahira, I’m trusting you to keep her safe.”
The woman clenched her jaw, swallowing whatever emotion had built in her throat. She turned her head away before responding.
“Be assured, I’ll protect her.” Kahira turned her attention back to Ori, her expression hardened. “I promise you that.”
“Then rest while you two can.” Ori smiled at me once more as he mounted his horse. “We still have to get you to Seyna, Your Grace. I expect your betrothed will be waiting anxiously.”
Watching Ori ride away, I knew he meant well with his reminder of Tallak, but I couldn’t help the sinking feeling in my stomach.
Unconcerned with the guard riding toward the city, Kahira urged Taewin on. Looking over her shoulder, she spoke to me.
“It shouldn’t take us long to find a place to camp.”
“Do you think Ori will be safe?” I brought my horse alongside Kahira’s.
She chuckled before turning toward me. “If your guard can admit that there is a gray area between what is right and wrong, he will be fine, and he will be able to do what is necessary to have the information before the sun sets tonight. If he acts as I’m afraid he might around people tattooed such as myself, well, he has his sword with him.”
“I would hope he manages to develop some sense of what will get him killed.” I didn’t even try to mask how worried I was.
“Then we should hope he is more friendly behind those walls than he is toward me.” Kahira smiled down from the back of her massive horse.
“He doesn’t—”
Before I could find a way to explain what I was thinking, Kahira interjected.
“He is a guard who has been trained his whole life to not trust people like me. No matter what I do, that will not change. I don’t think he knows how he should feel about me being around. I imagine leaving you with me is a decision that will gnaw at him until he returns to find you unharmed. I know I haven’t done much to ease his apprehension.”
“You saved our lives; I don’t really know what more he would need.”
Kahira chuckled slightly. “To him, I am a criminal, and he would have most likely turned me in by now, except I fought those Dakmorans in order to protect you.”
I smiled at the woman beside me, finishing her thought for her. “So, because he swore an oath to protect me, he doesn’t know how to categorize a criminal who does his job for him.”
She offered me a sidelong glance, her brow lifting humorlessly.
“Yes, it seems that no matter what I do, I am always seen as a criminal first. I have prevented many families from falling victim to bandits on the road. Yet, when they see my marks, they are as afraid of me as if I only saved them in order to be the one to steal their coin. I am an outlaw. People have been taught to fear me. It is a fear instilled in them from the time they could barely walk, and that fear will always override whatever else I do.”
“And do you believe I fear you?”
“I believe you were afraid of me at first. As for how you feel now, I’m not sure.” Kahira turned to look at me in full, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth.
I took a deep breath, knowing exactly how I felt about her, but too afraid to put it in words. Still, I was afraid the blush that spread across my cheeks had already said too much.
RUNNING through the water, Enza snapped after any shadow that could possibly be a fish. Watching her dog, Kahira laughed. I smiled as the sound mingled with the quiet bubbling of the stream. We had reached the hilltop with plenty of daylight left, and when our camp was set up in a nearby rock overhang and we had seen to the horses, there were still a couple of hours before the sun would set. At Kahira’s urging, I had accompanied her and her hound for some relaxation on the unseasonably warm day.
Enza barked, and I watched from my seat on a rock at the water’s edge as Kahira threw a stick for the dog to chase. As usual, with her armor removed, Kahira was less intimidating. Dressed in only her pants and the simple sleeveless shirt she wore under her leather vest, the scars etched into her flesh and the bruise forming under her eye were the only signs that she might be capable of violence.
While I remained seated on the bank, Kahira had waded into the water up to her knees. Enza was splashing around her, begging for the stick to be thrown again. Kahira obliged, sending the hound into a deeper section of the stream that fed into the Halvar River. When she returned, forgetting the stick, Enza rose on her hind legs. Ignoring the drenched fur, Kahira caught her dog’s front paws, hugging the massive animal to her. When Enza dropped back into the water, Kahira stumbled, uttering some word in her native dialect and catching herself right before she fell beneath the surface dotted with early-falling orange leaves. Laughing too much to warn Kahira, I watched as Enza jumped toward her owner playfully. When the massive hound ran into her, there was nothing Kahira could do to avoid being completely submerged.
Kahira was still laughing when she broke through the surface of the water, completely soaked. Enza finally stopped running around, her tongue drooping from her mouth as she panted, seemingly happy that her owner was drenched. Kahira patted Enza on the head before climbing out of the stream, shaking her head at the animal’s antics. Watching Kahira leave the water, it took me a moment to realize I was staring. Her clothes were clinging to her, and the bindings she wore around her chest were now apparent under her wet shirt. I felt a warm blush creep across my skin, and hoped that if Kahira noticed, she would assume the pink highlights were due to my laughter.
She sat down with a grin spreading across her face, unaware of the effect she was having on me. “I believe Enza was determined to see me clean.”
I laughed yet again, and with a teasing smile, I reached over to pull a rogue leaf from her hair. “I only hope the water wasn’t too unpleasant.”
“I’ve certainly suffered worse.”
Kahira returned my smile, running her hands through her black hair, freeing it from its braid and removing more of the autumn debris. We sat there for a while, watching Enza run through the water and feeling the afternoon sun against our s
kin, momentarily escaping our worries. Kahira had spread out on the bank, letting the sun’s still present warmth slowly dry her clothes. Eventually, she sat up and broke the comfortable silence between us.
“There’s still a little warmth to the water, enough to allow for a pleasant bath if you would like.”
Seeing the relief that must have registered on my face, Kahira chuckled, climbing to her feet.
“I’ll go get our fire started while you clean up.”
I thanked Kahira, promising I would not be long. As she walked away, the thought of her seeing me undress brought my blush back in its full intensity. I knew Kahira was gone, and yet I still waited several minutes before finally peeling my clothes from my body, too nervous to let her see me. Shivering, I waded out into the stream, waiting for my body to adjust to the water’s cool temperature. I felt the slight current gently removing the dust and grime from my skin as I sank into the stream. When my skin was pruned and the sun had started to slide behind the horizon, I rose from the water and let the air kiss my skin. Slipping my clothes back on, I set off toward the smell of the campfire, feeling completely relaxed for the first time since I left Eniva.
Chapter 16
IT wasn’t long before I heard footsteps coming up the hill. Out of a recently developed habit, I dropped my hand to the hilt of the knife that was now a constant presence at my side. But as I expected, Kahira came into view, Enza padding along beside her.
“So, I was correct.” I smiled slightly at the woman carrying two pheasants.
She placed the birds on a rock and dropped her hunting gear before turning toward me. “I thought a proper dinner would be appropriate since we actually have the time. I’m afraid my arm is still a little too sore to bring down anything bigger and more appetizing, but….” She handed me a pouch, a smile spreading across her face. “I brought something else.”
I opened the bag, not sure what Kahira would consider a surprise. The ripe persimmons I saw within looked like a delicacy after so many days of barely anything but thin oatmeal.
“I saw them on my way back and thought we could at least use them in a sauce for the pheasant.” Kahira’s smile brightened as she watched me eagerly pull one from the bag, placing the rest next to the birds she brought back for us.
“I haven’t had a persimmon in years. My mother loved them, and she quickly discovered that offering me a slice of fruit would get me to sit still.”
Kahira sat next to me, laughing as I cut into the fruit’s red-orange flesh. “I was hoping you liked them.”
I offered the first piece to Kahira. “It seems I have yet another thing to thank you for.”
“It wasn’t an entirely selfless act.” She bit in to the soft fruit after I had cut myself a piece. “I rarely have the opportunity to eat them, but persimmons are one of the few pleasant memories I still have of my childhood.”
She smiled, refusing to let her comment diminish the joy brought on by her delicious treat.
With the persimmon finished, Kahira excused herself to properly finish the bath Enza had forced on her earlier. Later, once Kahira returned to find that I had gathered wood for our fire and a spit on which to roast the pheasants, we began to talk more about our childhoods. Despite the fact that Kahira had sworn off her family’s name, she seemed genuinely happy telling me whatever stories she could remember. Our tales held vastly different settings—a castle for me, a one-room hovel with dirt floors for Kahira—and yet, we both recounted days of hiding from our parents or being paraded around at festivals. Whether it was a conscious effort or not, neither of us mentioned just how different our backgrounds were.
We laughed as we prepared our dinner, relishing the ability to take our time and make something actually enjoyable to eat. Slicing persimmons as Kahira roasted the birds, I would sneak bites of the delicious fruit, checking each time to see if Kahira had seen. More than once, I looked up to find her attention focused on me. At first, she would look away, but after she was the one to catch me staring at her, our eyes would linger and my heart would beat so loudly I thought she would hear.
Our food was ready by the time the sun was setting, and as I watched the light fade, I realized I didn’t want the day to end. For the first time since my convoy had been attacked, I was content. Kahira and I sat in silence. Unreasonably, I couldn’t help but feel as if it were the last meal I would truly enjoy. Ori would return tomorrow, and I would find myself back in the reality of my position—a position that would not allow me to acknowledge how I felt about Kahira, even if I had already admitted it to myself.
“Aleana?” Kahira managed to look worried, even as her tattooed brow arched.
“Sorry, my thoughts were elsewhere.” I smiled, hoping she wouldn’t press the issue, because I had no idea what I would say should she ask what I found so distracting.
She handed me the last piece of persimmon. “Hopefully not a place too horrible?”
I offered a smile in return, knowing it would not be able to pass as genuine.
“I learned a long time ago that thoughts should be a way of escaping.” Kahira shifted toward me, her eyes holding a kind seriousness. “Live in the dreams you can control, and any torment is bearable.”
“Is that how you did it?”
As soon as I asked, I silently chastised myself for forcing Kahira back into her past. However, instead of turning away or dropping her gaze, Kahira offered a curt nod and spoke softly.
“I told you the other night that I had a reason to keep living through my torture when it all started. That was what I focused on. I threw myself into a different memory for each new wound I received. Until Lord Moray came to see me personally, I thought things would still come out right in the end. I was a favored servant in the house; I just assumed there was some misunderstanding among the guards. It was foolish, but I kept telling myself that my arrest would be rectified as soon as my lord, or his daughter, heard I was imprisoned. Then he told me that Lelia was dead, and that I was being charged with her murder. I saw the look on his face, and I knew then that he was the one who had done it. In that moment, I forgot every pain in my body, and had my hands been free, I have no doubt that I would have killed him.”
“Kahira.” My hand covered hers. “I still can’t see how you can place a murder on your shoulders when you didn’t even know she had been killed.”
“Part of me knows I can’t….” Kahira looked at my hand resting on hers, clenching her jaw before she continued. “It’s just that I was so helpless. It took me several months to start to believe there was nothing I could have done. But she was killed because she loved me, and I didn’t even know what was happening in order to try and save her.
“Lelia tried to save me, though. Her maid, the woman who helped me escape and who had kept the relationship between Lelia and me a secret, told me as she freed me from the stocks several days later what had happened. When I was first thrown in the dungeon, Lelia had begged her father to let me go as soon as she found out. She admitted she loved me. She admitted that my sister had not lied when she came forward with the true nature of our relationship.
“Lord Moray came to me after he beat his daughter to death. He branded my skin personally, and then ordered I be taken to the stocks. For good measure, he broke a few of my ribs before they dragged me out of the dungeon. By the time they placed me in the stocks, where I was at the mercy of the townspeople, I had nothing left to distract me—nothing waiting for me that would make the suffering worth it. Lelia was dead, and it was my own sister who had betrayed the secret I never even knew she held.”
I knew my grip had tightened on Kahira’s hand, but she made no effort to avoid my touch as I finally spoke again. “Why did your sister turn you in? Surely she must have known what would happen….”
Kahira’s other hand rose to trace the lines of the brand on her arm. I noticed the sadness that had been so present in her eyes was fading with every word she spoke, replaced with a look I could not name.
“My father
always bragged about my sister’s ambition. Betraying me gave her an advantage in the household. It seems she was willing to have me suffer for her own benefit. Of course, she had no way of knowing how far her actions would reach. She most likely intended for me to only be thrown from the household, where I would have to crawl back to our father. Instead, she sat back as I became one of the vanjiv.”
Kahira’s hand clenched around the mark on her arm.
“This brand….” Kahira shook her head, emitting a small laugh. “It doesn’t only mean that I am an outcast. It means I am not allowed the rites usually given at death. It means when I die, there will be nothing of me left, not even the essence of my soul. By branding me, Lord Moray erased me from my culture. By burning his crest into my skin, I am doomed to never find peace. Usually, the vanjiv are executed before the wound begins to heal. Then the body is burned and the ashes spread into the wind. Except for me, vanjiv aren’t given the time to consider what it truly means to be branded.”
“Kahira….”
“No, Aleana, please.” Kahira turned toward me, leaning slightly in my direction and offering a genuine smile. “Don’t pity me. These are things I have accepted. And….” She took a deep breath, diverting her eyes from mine. “And until I saw you being attacked by the very soldiers who would kill me on sight, I thought the memories had stopped haunting me. Before I came back to you, I struggled with myself as to whether or not I should.” Kahira smiled, every trace of grief removed from her gaze. “I tried to convince myself you would be fine, but when I heard Ferrum had been attacked… it didn’t take long until I knew I wasn’t going to allow Dakmor to claim the life of another innocent soul. Not if I would be able to stop it from happening this time.”
I freed my hand from hers, only so I could trace the twisted lines of the family crest burned into her flesh. “I’m glad you came back. I… I don’t mean to pity you. I just can’t imagine….”
