His pack that was starving for someone to come along and stick.
For direction.
“This is too weird,” she said, shaking her head. He watched her look out to the expectant crowd, and then Willow turned and fled into the house.
He couldn't blame her.
“It's a lot to take in at once,” Carter said loudly to the crowd. “I'll talk to her and update all of you,” he added.
The crowd burst into talking again, everyone voicing an opinion and not listening to anyone else. Carter turned and headed into his home, locking the door behind him.
He had begun to think he might love her.
It had only been a couple days, but everything about her felt right.
She was an Alpha who bore the mark of Lycaon.
He couldn't have her or touch her, even if she wanted it. He began to regret ever kissing her, ever having sex with her. At least if he'd never touched her she could have left. Carter couldn't imagine what torment he'd be facing, having to be near her constantly and never touch her again.
***
Willow sat on the floor of the kitchen, her back against the cabinets and her head in her hands. She could still hear the din of voices out in the yard, a buzzing only her anxious mind could outdo.
What the hell?
She was just a writer!
A cruddy journalist who did dumb pieces on resorts and hotels most of her readers could never afford to go to. She wasn't supposed to ever have to take any actual lead or any actual responsibility. Even being an editor for the site wouldn't have prepared her for this.
There were a hundred people out there.
A hundred people who were looking for leadership, looking for…? For what? She wasn't entirely sure, but the idea of that many people depending on her was terrifying. At least as a writer she only had herself to disappoint if an article did poorly.
If she messed up now, it would alter the lives of so many people.
A wave of anxious nausea shook her, and Willow felt tears begin to fall from her eyes. She let them, her cheeks feeling hot and wet.
Why would anyone depend on her?
She'd spent her whole life looking for where she belonged, and now that she found it, she wasn't sure she wanted it anymore. She wasn't sure this even was where she belonged.
Willow hadn't even been class president, never worked as a manager or got to be an editor. How was she supposed to manage or guide this many people?
She felt the back of her neck where Carter had motioned to when he said she was marked.
Like the Wells family.
Just like them.
Panic struck anew, fresh, and for an entirely different reason.
The Wells family had slowly been picked off, vanishing one by one as they became Alphas and replaced the previous. How long until she vanished? How long until whatever took them came for her? Would anyone notice she was missing? Would there just be another posting on the local paper's site? Her mind was racing along with the panic, and she couldn't slow it down.
“Tourist writer vanishes while reviewing The Grand West. No known local relatives. Parents have offered a reward on any tips that lead to finding her,” it would read. She could already picture which image of her they'd choose. The one on her Facebook where she was sunburned and making an awful face at her friend who was taking the picture.
She sighed, slouching lower against the cabinet.
The back door opened and closed, and she stilled, listening carefully. Slowly, footsteps sounded through the home, creaking on the occasional floorboard.
Before she even saw him, she knew it was Carter.
Was it his smell? Could she smell him? She wasn't sure. He didn't wear strong cologne or body wash. Still, she instinctively knew it was him.
“Willow?” he asked, turning into the kitchen. He looked concerned and a little sad. She wanted to smooth out the worry from his face, to kiss him and tell him she's sorry but she has to leave.
Has to get out of there.
“I'm sorry I've sprung this all on you,” he said softly. “If I'd known, if I had any idea, I wouldn't have thrown you out there.” He looked like he meant it, and she believed him. “I would have talked to you first to find out what you wanted,” he added.
“I know,” Willow said softly. She didn't blame him. She couldn't bring herself to.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. Like her, he slid his back down the cabinet until he was sitting next to her on the ground.
“What am I supposed to do?” she asked, her resolve to leave disappearing the closer he drew to her. She craved him, needed him to just breath the same air as her. It was more than enough.
“That's for you to decide,” he replied. His voice was gentle and patient.
“I don't know the first thing about being a leader or even about being a shifter,” she said. Sighing, she leaned her head on his shoulder.
“Most Alphas learn on the job,” he said. He was tense under her touches. She could tell something had changed between them, even if he wasn't going to say it. “You have to make pack decisions, like which new members can be accepted, what to do if someone in the pack hurts one of us, what to do if another pack attacks,” he droned on, listing almost a dozen examples.
“And you get all of this?” she asked, watching him carefully. Carter's face lit up as he talked about the pack. She loved seeing him so interested and vivid. He truly cared about it.
“Yeah, I've been the right-hand man of the last few Alphas and had to give them the same talk,” he explained.
“So, you know everything an Alpha has to do. You understand how to do everything,” she continued on. “Why aren't you the Alpha?” The moment she asked him, he physically recoiled. Like the words were strong blasphemy, as though she'd invented the worst curse word and said it about his mother. He looked almost pained.
“I'm not from the bloodline,” he shook his head, rubbing his hand up and down her arm. “I don't have the right to claim the Alpha position. Even if there was nobody of the bloodline here, I wouldn't get the role,” he explained. “They'd think I was the reason the Alphas vanished, that I'd done it for the power,” he sighed.
“Oh, wow, sorry,” Willow replied, not having thought it through. She knew he couldn't have killed the other Alphas. He cared too much about the pack, and he was too good. Every slight movement of his was so good, so right, she couldn't picture him doing anything to hurt those he cared about.
“I'll help you all I can, though. You won't be alone in this,” he said, turning to her. He kissed her forehead, and Willow settled in against him.
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
Chapter 15
“We should get back out there before they leave,” Willow sighed, stretching as she started to stand up. She wanted to run away, but she knew better. She was never good at running away from her problems.
“What?” he looked surprised.
“I want to talk to a few of the pack members and get to know the people I'll be Alpha over, I guess,” she shrugged, uncomfortable over the idea. The only time she'd ever heard the term ‘Alpha’ was when sleazy men would talk about themselves as the 'alpha dogs' in social situations. It felt different being used on her.
“That sounds great,” Carter sounded surprised, and Willow reached out to squeeze his fingers. He squeezed back, and she sighed. Whatever weirdness he was going through, she was sure he'd get over it. She just wanted him to be the way he was just a day ago: flirty, sweet, open, treating her like everything in life was easy.
She wanted to kiss the uncomfortable frown off his face, but this wasn't the time.
Opening the back door, she let them out into the afternoon sunlight. At least thirty people were still there, talking among themselves. She recognized so many of them that it was almost scary. Willow couldn't help but wonder if she'd passed many shifters in her life before. Who else was one that she didn
't know of? Her boss? Her neighbor? Did her parents know before they adopted her?
All of these thoughts got side swept as someone quickly approached her.
This face she knew very, very, well.
It was the woman who'd scared the hell out of her on the street just a day before. Now here she was, smiling, approaching Willow like an old friend.
“I'm so sorry about the scare yesterday,” she said, ducking her head as she came closer. “I didn't realize who you were. I didn't know,” she explained gently. “I thought my pack was being threatened. I would have never stepped to you like that if I knew you were one of us,” she continued on. She looked like she was expecting to be slapped.
“This is Faye,” Carter introduced.
“We're fine. I completely understand,” Willow said, wanting the awkward interaction to end. It felt so fake, so two-faced, and she didn't want to have to watch this woman act like that anymore. She preferred her looking pissed and scary.
“Thank you so much,” Faye replied. She looked like any other soccer mom, just another middle-aged woman. It was strange to think that under this makeup and jogging suit was a wolf.
In all of these people is a wolf, Willow remembered again.
Every time the realization hit her, it was like a bag of bricks or a heavy weight dragging her down further and further from the bright light that was the reality she used to know. It was a harrowing and empty feeling.
She was introduced to a couple other people, one by one, Carter trailing her.
Willow could sense a kind of desperation from him as well.
She turned to look at him while he was talking to his cop friend…what did he say his name was? Jim? John? She couldn't look at Carter without realizing how much hope he had in her. If he could save her life, if he could keep her safe, then his position in the pack would be restored.
He caught her staring, and she glanced away, glad he couldn't hear what she was thinking.
Glad he didn't know.
Guilt filled her stomach, but she kept greeting and trying to be as kind as possible. There was no need to make anyone else there uncomfortable or unhappy. They needed an Alpha, and they saw that in her. She could put up with this for long enough to have another Alpha come and take it over.
She was a crap journalist! Not someone you'd want in charge of your entire life and livelihood.
Willow couldn't understand how everyone could have such blind and absolute faith in her just because of a bloodline. She didn't even know anyone from her birth family, and yet she was still being forced into this position of power.
Carter, would be a perfect leader, though.
He was clever, kind, assertive, fair, not to mention he could hold her attention just by breathing.
All of these were things she saw as needed for leading.
Willow knew she had to convince him into taking over.
“I'm going to have to head back,” she murmured in between introductions. “I still have a job to do,” she lied. Her job was the furthest thing from her mind at that point. She really just needed time alone to think.
“All right,” Carter answered, squeezing her arm slightly. “Let me go grab my uniform for tomorrow. I'll stay at the resort tonight so you can call me if you need anything,” he offered.
“Thank you,” she said gently. She wanted to hug him, pull him tight and not let go, but something told her it wasn't the best idea at the time. She watched Carter leave back toward the house, and her heart felt like it was floating along with him.
“So, where are you from?” Carter's cop friend approached her. She knew his last name was Keech, but his first name still escaped her.
“Oh, I grew up a military brat, so basically everywhere,” she said, smiling at him. “Have you lived in West Valley your whole life?” she was trying to be polite, but honestly, she just wanted to leave.
“I have. Only left the town a handful of times in my life,” he admitted.
“I keep hearing that more and more,” Willow said, relaxing into the conversation like a warm bath. She knew that everyone from small towns thought their town was the center of the universe. They always had a handful of sayings that were the same regardless of where they were.
'Ugh these out-of-town drivers don't know how to frigging drive!'
'I grew up here. The hospital I was born in is just a couple miles away. I don't see why anyone would want to leave.'
'The best pie you'll ever taste is just a couple blocks from here. You should try it while you're in town!'
'Don't like the weather? Wait fifteen minutes!'
This last one they'd always say while looking like they felt entirely too clever, as though they'd invented the phrase themselves. In a way, she'd been to West Valley dozens of times, even if this was her first visit, because of all of the other small towns she'd been to.
This was the first one where shifters basically ran the town, though.
That one was new.
“The Wells family left behind a home. You're the closest thing to a relative I know of. We didn't find anyone out of state who would admit relation to them. If you're wanting to make a move here, it could be yours,” he offered, looking off and into the woods.
“How does that work?” she asked, unsure how she'd prove her distant relation to them other than her wolf-form.
“The pack would pitch in to ensure you could have it, of course,” Keech explained. “Do you want to come see the property? I have a few hours before my next shift starts,” he nodded to the front of the house in the direction of his car. She was amazed at the thought that these strangers would be willing to just give her a home.
She felt horribly guilty at the idea.
“I have plans with Carter,” she lied. She didn't want to go and see this house and think about what happened to the family that used to live in it. The closest to blood relatives she'd had, regardless of how many times the family tree had branched out.
“That's all right. Some other time then,” he shrugged.
“Sounds good,” she lied again.
Chapter 16
He just needed to get her to the resort.
Carter knew all he had to do was get her to her room in one piece and leave her for the night, checking in periodically to be sure she was safe. It would be easier not to crave her if she wasn't around.
These thoughts repeated in his mind over and over again as they started the slow drive into town. He could tell Willow was nervous and anxious, and he could understand why.
“You'll be a great Alpha once you settle into the role,” he said, trying to reassure her. She was leaning against the window; her dark hair had been swept back into a messy bun. She looked unraveled, comfortable, and gorgeous. He had to bite his own cheek to remind himself to look at the road.
“I don't want this,” Willow murmured. Her voice was so soft, so quiet, it sounded like a prayer.
“You can leave whenever you want. We aren't going to chain you down,” Carter said, the words hurting him as they slipped past his lips.
“I know. I'd feel even guiltier that way, though. everyone has their hopes put into me,” she answered. Carter looked her over. Reaching out with his right hand, he smoothed his fingers out over her palm.
“How can I help you?” he asked, not sure what to offer her.
“I really do think you'd be the perfect Alpha,” she said quickly.
Carter's chest ached. He wished she wouldn't say that. The only way he could possibly be Alpha was if she and two other people vanished and no other Alphas came to town. Which wasn't likely, to say the least. Not to mention, it wasn't something that he wanted.
On top of that, he'd have to prove himself against anyone else who wanted the role of Alpha, and the only person really qualified for that was James, his best friend, a fight he wouldn't want to ever face.
“I can't do it,” he reminded her. Carter tried to keep his voice cautious but kind. He wished h
e could help her.
“If I talk to the pack, if I make the situation clear, won't they understand? Wouldn't they rather have someone actually qualified for the job rather than someone who just happens to have a weird birthmark in their fur?” she asked.
“I don't–”
“I've spent the last five years of my life working as a writer for a dozen different travel sites, literally just sitting around and writing about how nice it was to be treated well for doing nothing.” She was trying to convince him, he could tell, but he didn't want to hear it.
“I'm not here to take this role for you. I'm not here to tell you how to fill it. I'm just here to make it easier for you,” he tried to make it clear. “It's not as easy as me just taking over as Alpha. It's not as easy as you giving up the position and everyone accepting someone else, someone not of the blood, as their leader,” he kept his tone flat and even, though he was sizzling under the surface.
Being an Alpha was a beyond lucky thing to be born into.
He couldn't imagine how someone could win the lottery like that, despite the circumstances, and want to toss it aside. People were killing Alphas, sure, but as an Alpha, you're guaranteed a place in the pack; you're guaranteed acceptance. The only time Alphas had ever been overturned was when a younger one of the bloodline was found to be a better ruler, or when the Alpha did truly terrible things.
“I don't know what they want from me. I've never had this amount of pressure or this amount of responsibility.” Willow was facing away from him. He could see her breath steaming on his car's window next to her face.
“I understand,” he said gently. “I'm sorry you've been put in this situation,” he added. He couldn't just keep her if she wanted to leave. He couldn't be the reason she was miserable. If she truly didn't want to be Alpha, if it was something she'd hate, then it would reflect on the pack.
They'd know.
It would turn out worse for everyone involved, all because he couldn't keep his mouth off a random human.
White Star (Wolves of West Valley Book 1) Page 7
