by Cece Rose
“Great,” I mutter, I go to ask Solas more, when I hear a soft snore coming from him. I look at him a little perturbed. Demons snore?
I glance around the room, seeing the mess his friend had managed to make. Looks like I’m cleaning this all up by myself. I groan, reaching for my thankfully still in one piece coffee table, turning it back upright and dragging it into place. A sweat breaking out on my forehead from doing so. The sturdy coffee table was built solid, and weighed more than any other piece of furniture in this room. The demon lifted it like it was nothing, lifted me like I weighed nothing.
A demon that could kill me not just with magic, but brute force? For some reason, that struck me with even more fear. I flick my gaze over at Solas’ sleeping form. I have to figure out a way to get rid of him I decide. The sooner the better, I have to make it a priority now. One demon in the house was bad enough, let alone double the trouble when his buddies start turning up too.
Twenty-Two
I Picked You
“We need to talk,” Darren says calmly as I open the door. No hello, or how are you, just ‘We need to talk.’ Shit. I debate shutting it in his face just to avoid this conversation, but decide that I should be a little more mature than that. Thankfully, I’d just finished tidying up the living room from the mess that Solas and his friend had caused earlier this morning.
“Come in,” I offer, stepping out of his way so that he can come inside. I shut the door behind him, and then lead him into the living room.
“Do you want to sit down?” I ask, seeing him shifting on the balls of his feet, like he has too much energy inside of him to stay still.
“Are you sleeping with Rhydian?” he asks me. I gape at him, his words taking me completely by surprise. I thought he wanted to talk about me running off this morning. “Are you going to answer me?” he prompts.
“No, of course I’m not sleeping with Rhydian. I barely know him!” I deny vehemently. Thoughts of the kiss we’d shared flash through my head, but we hadn’t slept together. A kiss is a kiss, and it’s not like it’s anyone’s business but mine. At least, that’s what I try to convince myself.
“So you’re lying to me about a guy you’re not even sleeping with? That’s way worse. It means you like him, not his body,” he groans.
“What are you even talking about?” I ask, genuinely confused.
“Rhydian said something that didn’t make sense earlier. I asked him what he thought of you. He said that he’d only met you a few times, so he didn’t really know what he thought yet. Something was a little weird about how he said it though, the way he skirted around the question. He’s an opinionated person, Kayla. He forms opinions within seconds of meeting people usually,” Darren explains.
I shake my head. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I barely know him. I haven’t had sex with him.”
All of that is technically true…so why do I feel guilty?
“He admitted to meeting you before,” Darren says, looking at me right in the eyes. Shit.
“I met him on Tuesday. It’s not like I’ve known him forever,” I admit, begrudgingly. I was going to kill Rhydian for this. It was his idea not to tell Darren how we’d actually met, and now he’s leaving me to deal with the fallout after telling him the truth? “But we’re not sleeping together,” I insist. However, my protests seem to be falling upon deaf ears.
“Then why would you pretend like you didn’t know him?” he demands.
“Because he acted like he didn’t know me first. I didn’t know what his issue was, so I just went along with it. And then it would have been too weird to turn around and tell you the truth,” I explain, feeling my heart race from rising anxiety.
“Where did you meet?” he asks.
“What?”
“Where did you meet?” he repeats, watching me intently, as looking for any signs of deception.
Taking a deep breath, I try to compose myself quickly before answering. “I met him while trying to hide from the detective.”
“You tried to hide from Detective Huxley?” he questions.
I nod. “He followed me from Rosie’s. I darted into a shop to hide, and then I ran into Rhydian. We spoke, but we even didn’t exchange names or anything. I thought I’d never see him again until I saw him in your living room,” I tell him, trying to read his reaction.
“What store did you meet him in?” he asks.
“What is this, twenty freaking questions?” I snap.
“Why don’t you want to tell me where?” he demands.
“Why are you acting like a jealous boyfriend?” I demand back. Instantly I regret my words, seeing the flash of pain in his eyes. He sits down on the edge of the thick coffee table.
He puts his head in his hands, and I watch as he massages his temples with his thumbs, as if trying to alleviate the tension in his head, would help the tension in the room. Something about it sets me off, and everything I’ve been holding onto for the last two years tumbles out at once. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t ready to tie myself down forever with you, okay? I was twenty-two, what did you really expect? You’re six years older than me. You were ready, and I wasn’t. It wasn’t that you weren’t right, or the one, but that doesn’t mean that you can dictate my love life forever.”
“I’m not dictating your love life!” he growls, dropping his hands down.
“Then what are you doing?”
“I don’t know. I just… I picked you Kayla. You rejected me, and then you acted broken-hearted about it afterwards. I figured that you just needed time. I thought you wanted to sleep around, and who was I to judge you for that? It’s pretty much the norm for my kind to get around when they’re younger. But I’m guessing if you haven’t been sleeping with Rhydian, you haven’t been with anyone else since me, have you?” he demands, standing up again. I shake my head acknowledging he’s right about that at least. It’s been a dry spell for this witch. “Have you even kissed anyone else?” he adds curiously.
I go to deny it, but guilt slams right back into me. I had kissed someone else. His friend. It even happened in his fucking home. In his bed. I look away.
“At least you’ve managed that.” He sounds relieved, strangely. I doubt he’d feel that way if he knew who it was. That some of his jealousy of Rhydian was founded, even if it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as he’d thought at first. “If it’s not sex you want from others, what is it that you want? What could you want from finding someone else, that you couldn’t find with me?” he asks.
“I don’t want anything from anyone else, don’t you understand that? It wasn’t you, and it wasn’t someone else, it was just me. I wasn’t ready to commit myself forever. What if it didn’t work out? We barely knew each other, Darren! I could have moved on, but you…you’d have been stuck forever thanks to your stupid shifter way of staying with one person forever. I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t risk your life-long happiness, just to make me happy right then.” I watch as understanding crosses his face. “I’m sorry, we should have had this talk a long time ago. I just didn’t want you to try and change my mind.” I turn away, not able to look at him anymore.
“You know me better now,” he says in a low voice. I hear his footsteps on the hardwood floor as he approaches me. “Do you know what you want better too?” he adds.
“I always knew what I wanted,” I admit, feeling my stomach flutter with nerves from saying this. “I was worried what I wanted might one day change. Witches don’t always stay together, Darren.”
“What if I’m happy to take that risk?” he asks, he’s now standing so closely behind me I can feel the heat radiating off his body, and his breath on the back of my neck.
I turn around to face him, having to crane my neck to look up at his face with him standing so close. “What if I’m not?”
“It’s my risk to take, Kayla,” he replies seriously.
“But I can’t let you take it. Not when it’s me that’ll hurt you,” I whisper, trying to blink back tears. I can�
��t cry. Not in front of him at least. He goes to reach for me, and I narrowly step back out of his grasp.
“Kayla, please,” he begs, holding out a hand for me. I feel like everything freezes around us, as his eyes bore down at me, demanding my final answer. The doorbell chime makes us both jump, snapping out from the moment.
“I’m sorry, I need to get that,” I mumble, pushing past him, all but running for the door. I pull open the front door, my eyes widening when I see who’s standing outside.
“Kayla, sweetie, you look terrible!” my mother greets me as charmingly as usual. She walks into the room with absolute grace. I had definitely inherited my grace—or lack thereof—from my father. Shit. I’d completely forgotten she was coming over.
“Thanks, mum,” I reply sarcastically.
“Don’t use that tone with me missy. I have good news for you. I have foreseen that you will soon have a new love in your life, isn’t that exciting?” She asks eagerly, making me roll my eyes. Not this again. “Hair as black as night, and very handsome too,” she insists. I freeze. She couldn’t be talking about Rhydian, right?
“Don’t be silly, mum. I doubt a tall dark stranger is about to stumble into my life. Where are you getting your lessons from? Fake fortune tellers or rom-com movies?” I ask, trying to bat it off like a joke.
Darren chooses just that moment to walk into the hallway, and from the pained look in his eyes, he heard what she said. He didn’t believe my brush off either.
My mother eyes him curiously. “Perhaps I was wrong about the black hair,” she comments, looking at the dark russet-coloured hair atop Darren’s head. He smiles weakly.
“I’ll see you soon, Kayla,” Darren says awkwardly.
“Oh, don’t feel you have to leave on my account,” my mother says, smiling at him broadly.
“I was just about to leave anyway,” he insists.
“Well, I won’t get in your way then.” She turns to face me with a twinkling look in her eyes. “I’ll wait in the living room while you say goodbye.” She goes to leave, before coming to a halt and turning back around to look at Darren. “It was nice to meet you…What did you say your name was?” she asks.
“I didn’t, but it’s Darren. I’m a friend of Kayla’s. It was very nice to meet you Mrs Harlow,” he says.
“It’s Mrs Ashton now, actually,” she corrects him, before disappearing off into the living room. As soon as I’m sure she’s out of earshot, I turn and look back at Darren. My mother is proof that love doesn’t last forever. She’s been married six times. She was in love with falling in love, and never really in love with anyone in particular. I don’t want to follow her in that regard, and I certainly didn’t want to fall out of love with someone who would always be in love with me.
“We can talk about this later,” I offer meekly.
“There’s nothing left to talk about. Only something for you to decide. Now that I know you want to be with me, Kayla, I’m done talking.” Before I can think about what he’s just said, he’s on me. My back’s pressed against the wall, his body pinning me there tightly. I look up at him to speak, only to have my words silenced with his lips. My arms trail up and around his neck, my body betraying my mind and giving itself completely to the kiss, giving itself to him. His lips dominate mine, as they always did. The kiss is so familiar, and somehow a perfect mix of comfort and passion. By the time he pulls away, I’m breathless. “Just wanted to add a little evidence to my argument. I rest my case,” he whispers.
I watch speechlessly as he leaves, shutting the door gently behind him.
Twenty-Three
Family Truths
“Your boyfriend seems nice.” The comment pulls my attention back to my mother, who’s sitting on the beige three-seater sofa with me.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I mutter. I try to think of an excuse to get out of my monthly awkward visit with my mum. It was worse than getting my damn period.
We’d never been close. I’d spent most of my childhood after my dad died with my Grandma. Mum had always been busy with her string of boyfriends and husbands. She wasn’t a great parent when I was young, and we’d only really started attempting to connect when I was around seventeen. I even have a baby half-brother whom I’d met a few times, but with his dad being such an asshole, I’d stayed away mostly. Mum looked like she was doing better with my brother than she had done with me. I really hoped she stuck with it.
“Shame, he seemed very charming,” she says probingly.
“He is charming…when he wants to be,” I admit begrudgingly. “How is Dylan?” I ask, changing the subject. She smiles brighter than the sun, a blissed look taking over her face.
“He’s perfect. Kayla you must come and see him more often,” she insists. “He’s too small to take through the Edinburgh to London portal, so I can’t exactly bring him here.” Her words send the guilt trip rumbling through I know she’d intended.
“I know, mum. I’ll come visit soon, I promise.” I nudge the plate of biscuits I’d laid out towards her. “I got your favourites.”
“I noticed. I was trying to stay away from carbs, but how can I resist just a few of these!” She picks up more than a few, shoving the first quickly into her mouth. The only ungraceful thing about my mother is the way she eats.
“Have you been up to much?” I ask, not really sure what to talk about.
“I’ve mostly been busy with Dylan. You wouldn’t believe how much time goes into kids, sweetie!” I bite my lip, trying to keep the jealously to myself. Where had that time and dedication been when I was a kid? When my dad died, my mum had checked out of my life too.
“I bet.” I have to force myself to reply, swallowing my jealousy and personal pain down. She’s changed since then, and Dylan doesn’t deserve to suffer just because I did.
“Are you ever going to settle down, have some kids?” she asks, knocking me off balance. I look at her questioningly.
“Are you being serious?” I ask hesitantly.
“Of course I am, silly. Are you planning on kids anytime soon?” She has this warm, hopeful look in her eyes. I swallow thickly. I hate being a disappointment.
“No,” I answer, swallowing again before I expand on it. “I don’t know if I’m ever planning on having kids. I can buy a dog, you can just treat that as your grandchild instead,” I answer as upbeat as I can.
“Sweetie, once you find the right man, you’ll change your mind,” she says. I have to hold in the snort at the right man thing. Her being on husband number six doesn’t fill me with the belief that there ever is a right man. Just a Mr Right Now.
“I’m pretty certain I’m not having them,” I say again, more firmly. I don’t want her to get her hopes up for grandkids if she’s never going to have them. Not from me at least.
“Why?” she asks, the whine slipping into her voice.
“I promised my firstborn to a witch, and I don’t want to make good on the deal,” I answer, deadpan, hoping that humour can help us move on from the subject quicker.
“Kayla!” she snaps at me in mock horror, but she laughs with me.
“I mean, I don’t think I could get a good price for them on the black market…I mean, who’d really want to buy my kid?” I add humorously, and she sighs.
“You’re so much like I was,” she responds, reaching out to stroke my cheek with her hand. Her fingers are as soft as a baby, and I make a mental note to ask her what skin cream she’s using.
“But so different at the same time?” I prompt. Personally, I don’t think we could be any more different. Not that I would say that, I don’t want to hurt her feelings.
“We’re not as different as you think, Kaykay,” she replies, using my childhood nickname. The one dad had always used. “I never really wanted kids,” she says softly.
“You didn’t want me, did you?” But you wanted Dylan. The last part is silent, but I can see in her eyes she heard my unspoken words just as clearly.
“The second I knew I was having you,
I wanted you. I loved you from the second I heard your little heart beat on the monitor. I always have,” she says, her voice cracking as she reaches for my hands, holding them tightly in hers. Her words cut right into me, opening up a wound I normally refuse to believe that I have. “I know that I haven’t been the best mother, and goddess knows that I’m trying so hard to make up for it now. Just know I’ve always loved you, even when I spent so much time away. You just…” she trails off, pulling her hands out of mine to cover her face.
“I just what?” I echo in question, rubbing her back awkwardly. I can’t remember ever seeing this much emotion from her. It’s disarming, but comforting at the same time. She’s not a perfect, graceful robot. She’s a person, the same as everyone else.
“You just look so much like him. It broke my heart every time I looked at you. I know how selfish I was now. Having Dylan has given me a second chance to do it right, Kayla. But I want you to know I want a second chance with you too. I’ve wanted it for years,” she answers through tears. I reach out, and pull her into a tight embrace.
“You have it,” I whisper, rubbing her back as she shakes with the tears. It’s only then I realise that I’m crying too. The salty teardrops having trailed down over my lips. The tears from both of us are a mixture of happy and sad.
“You have it,” I repeat more clearly, before succumbing to the emotion completely, my body racking with the tears I’d kept in for too long. I feel like I’m crying out all of my stress and pain, not just the pent up feelings over my terrible relationship with my mother.
“I love you, Kayla,” she whispers, squeezing me extra tight.
“I love you too, mum,” I mumble back, and for the first time in years, I feel like I actually do.
Twenty-Four
Two Birds, One Stone
“I have a suggestion,” Solas says loudly, drawing my attention.
