by Hess, A. M.
MJ was about to do just that, make it work for her. She was past the sorrow, feeling like she was done wrong and the guilt of taking matters into her own hands. Today she would begin making her happy. There was no need to hurt Dalton, there was enough of that in their relationship as it stood. But she could be happy without him, she could be happy and remain in her current lifestyle, she could be happy and stay married.
Mary-Beth had devised a plan. If he could cheat, then so could she. If he was out there trying to find something that didn’t exist in their relationship, then so could she. If he wasn’t telling her about his indiscretions, then neither would she. What was good for the goose, truly would be good for the gander and she wanted to find out first hand.
The time had come for her to take full and complete control of her life. Realizing how much she had depended on Dalton all these years led MJ to the point of severing the tie of emotional dependence. She would continue to let him support her, she would keep a neat and orderly house, she would be his wife when he was at home, but past that, she would be her own woman.
MJ moved about the bedroom as she continued to put together what she wanted life to be like from this point forward. She made the bed and picked out clothes for the day. After getting out of the shower and a quick breakfast it was time to find out what was out there. She had an idea of how to go about things but if ever there was a time she could use the advice of a trusted friend this was it.
~*~*~*~*~
Over the years, Ella had become her friend, confidant, and somewhat of a mentor. Running the book store gave her access to any information a person would ever want or need. She was easy to talk to and if you knew her, there was nothing you couldn’t bring up. Ask a question and chances were that Ella had some information about the subject. MJ returned to Books and Beyond for just that purpose. If she was going to step outside the boundaries of her marriage it was going to be on her terms. She needed information…
The bells rang that familiar jingle as MJ threw the door open. Ella looked up from another of her books and smiled. She always seemed glad to have Mary-Beth visit her and today was no different. "Well, hello. I was hoping to see you this week. How was the book I recommended? And more importantly, how was date night?" Ella said closing her book and sliding it to the side of the counter.
"Date night was not so great, the book on the other hand, I loved it!", MJ said. "I wanted to talk more about both. Do you have some time now." "Sure, it's not like the place is crowded. Mondays morning can be slow. What's on your mind?" Ella made a motion to the seating area were patrons lounged on comfortable chairs and sofas to read and chat with one another. With no one there the two made their way over and took seats. "So, spit it out..."
"I read the book and was captivated by the story. I couldn't put it down. It's the type of thing I had thought about in the past but never had the right partner to try, you know, dominating." She paused obviously nervous.
Ella took the lead, "What about your husband?"
MJ went on, "You know my situation with him. I kinda figure it's not just a dry spell now. When we went out last Friday all he talked about was business. I couldn’t get him aroused or into a sexy conversation like most of our other night’s out. When we got home I changed into the new outfit you saw.”
Ella interrupted, “I bet that did the trick!”
“Not exactly”, MJ said disheartened once again. “He liked the look and I thought it was going to be a great night of sex, but he just jumped on and, wham, bam, thank you ma’am, he was done in just seconds. He rolled off and fell asleep. It was the worst sex I’ve had since high school.”
“Ouch, sorry to hear about that. I know you were looking forward to the date night and the after party. Did he say anything the next day or try to talk about what might be the problem?” Ella probed.
“Not a word, he just came down stairs on his cell phone and went right to his office. He came out for coffee, with his phone and acted like I wasn’t even there. The whole thing was bad enough as it was, but it got worse…”
“How could it have been any worse?” Ella asked.
“That afternoon I found a woman’s business card in his pants pocket when I was doing the laundry. Normally that wouldn’t be an issue, but on the back, written in a woman’s handwriting, was a note telling him to be at her apartment at 7:00. It said something about not being late or he would be punished.” MJ paused.
Ella jumped in, “I have to agree, that sounds worse. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with all that. It doesn’t seem like a simple dry spell. I had my hopes for you.”
“I appreciate that, but I really think I knew it for a long time. I just needed this last piece to get me clear about what’s going on.”
“What are you going to do now?” Ella asked.
“I was hoping you could help me with that.” MJ smiled but there wasn’t all of the happiness she usually possessed.
“Sure, anything, what can I do?” Ella jumped at the chance.
“Now I don’t want you to think any less of me, but I have a friend who is in a similar situation. Her husband is out of town every week and she knows that he has his action on the side. She likes the lifestyle he provides and is not willing to leave him. With that said, she has a guy on the side too. She says it works for her because she is not interested in a divorce, it’s just sex and that’s the way they keep it.” MJ paused making sure her point was heard.
“I know a few people that have the same kind of arraignment”, Ella said calmly. “It works for them and life goes on. Everybody gets what they want I suppose. But what does that have to do with me or you?”
“When I was in here last time you mentioned that there was quite a world of people who were Doms and Subs. I was thinking that it was all just fantasy, but you said that I should believe that. You were certain that there were people searching for others. Do you remember the conversation?” MJ was hopeful that she did.
“Yes, I remember it quite well actually. There are people like the ones in the books. Even here in Cincinnati.” Ella grinned as she started to understand what was being asked of her. “Is that what this is about? You want to know if there really are people that are kinky like in those books?”
MJ was beginning to get embarrassed but she couldn’t stop now, “Yes and no. I want to know if they really exist and…” she paused, “how do I find them?”
Ella had heard it all while managing the book store but the request from her mild mannered friend startled her. She was willing to help but didn’t see this one coming at her. “Wow, I have to say that I’m a little shocked. Are you sure this is something that you want to do? Have you really thought it over?”
“Yes”, she said without a moment’s hesitation. “This is something I’ve fantasized about for a long time and now that I have the opportunity I don’t want to waste it. Look, I’ve made up my mind that I am going to live my life to the fullest. I’m not going to confront him or ask him to stop whatever it is he’s doing. But I want a life for myself. There should be no reason I can’t have my needs and desires taken care of. And if there’re people out there wanting to do it, why not go for it?”
Ella had to admit that it all sounded quite logical. There was no reason MJ should hold back at this point. “Okay, as long as you’re sure, I can help you. There’s a lot you need to know before you just go jumping into the lifestyle. Have you read the other two books you got?”
“No not yet. I’ve been a little busy.” MJ giggled at the joke. She was finally starting to feel better and excitement was setting in.
“Take your time”, Ella went on. “They’ll give you some good ideas of what to do and how to have fun. But you’ll have to educate yourself about the mindset of a submissive and the proper way to discipline them without harm. Above all it’s important that the sub feel completely safe with the dominant. If you break that trust it will not be good for either of you. Follow me to the back room. I have some things that will be good for you to read.�
�� They got up from the seating area and for the first time MJ was escorted to the back room. “I keep the special books back here. Not everything can be placed on the shelves for all to see.”
Ella pushed open the curtain and they went through. The customers never asked about the room behind the curtain. It was naturally assumed that it was storage and perhaps a sorting area for incoming stock. To the contrary MJ was amazed to see another complete, yet smaller store. There were identical rows of shelves and books from front to back and side to side. There was even a sitting area like the one in front.
MJ was taken aback by the revelation of the back room. “What’s all this?” she asked.
Ella smiled and said, “This is more like my private collection, things that not everyone needs to see or books that are too rare for children to handle.”
“I had no idea, how long have you had this back here?”
Pride showed in Ella’s face, “Most of my customers don’t know it’s back here. Several years ago, before you started coming in, I converted this part of the shop. I told the public it was for storage, but this is what I did. It’s kept for valuables and odd things. The books you need to read now are part of the collection. It’s not that I couldn’t put them out front, but the folks that want to have access to them don’t always want prying eyes to know what they are interested in.”
MJ’s eyes moved from one shelf to another. She couldn’t make out the codes that labeled the ends of the isles. It looked like it was specific to how Ella had them arranged. “What exactly are you looking for back here?”
“I have several in mind for you. Since this is your first steps in the lifestyle you’ll need as much information as possible. It’s important for you to know how to treat a sub correctly. That’s the biggest problem with that popular ‘Mommy Porn’ book. It doesn’t give the reading audience the correct information in order to get into the life. It makes it look like you can just abuse someone and everyone is supposed to get pleasure from it. It’s just not that easy. There are rules and conditions and if everyone can follow them and get pleasure doing so, then it will be a beneficial relationship.”
Ella purposefully walked down the third isle with MJ in tow. She stopped at a series of books that looked like they were written in the 1950’s and 60’s. She handed the first one to MJ and said, “This one will give you the best insights as to why people want to be sumbissives. There are many different wants, needs and desires but most of all they need to feel safe while serving. For a true submissive, giving up all control is the most freeing sensation possible. This is how they get satisfaction by foregoing their needs and fulfilling the sexual desires of another.”
MJ took note of the simple way she described the mindset. This is what she wanted, information. Every time she had asked her for something in the past, the same thing happened. Ella was like a teacher and when she was helping another person there was no judgment or condescension. It was obvious to MJ that she wanted to give her the best possible advice without making her uncomfortable. This was one of Ella’s most endearing qualities and MJ was thankful to have her as a friend.
I feel like I’m in school, but at least I have a good teacher.
The second book was covered in burgundy leather with nothing printed on the outside. She handed it to MJ and said, “This was sort of an underground book in its day. There weren’t many publishers who would print deviant writings. The book has been recovered and although it’s old, I think it’s the best for what it has to offer.”
“And what’s that?” MJ asked.
“It outlines the proper uses of discipline and punishment with a sub. They refer to them as slaves or sex slaves but the meaning is all the same.” Ella paused, “You will find that the sub wants to give to the dom in every possible way. If they fall short of their goal or fail to comply, they expect to be punished. Pain is okay in most instances but really getting hurt isn’t. This book shows you what to use, how to use it, where to apply it and so on. In my mind there hasn’t been a better book written on this subject.”
As they walked back to the front of the store Ella said, “I’ll be happy to sell you these books and any others from the back that you might need. I make one condition with my ‘Backroom’ clients. If you ever want to get rid of the books you get from me, I want to be the first to buy them back. They’re hard to come by and it makes it easier to keep my shelves stocked.”
“It’s a deal!” MJ said. Her head was spinning with all of the new information that had been shared with her. She never imagined there was so much that went into what she had considered fantasy until a short time ago. The books were expensive compared to other she had purchased, but there was nowhere else to go and she was happy to pay for them.
Ella bagged them and pushed the package to the front of the counter where MJ now stood. “There’s one more thing. When you’re ready, you can go on-line and search for a good match for you. Do you have a Facebook account?”
“Yeah, but I can’t put this kind of thing on there…” MJ said confused.
“No, no, of course not. I ask because if you use Facebook this will be just as easy. Go to a site called ‘DeliciousDomination.com’, it’s like Facebook for Doms and Subs.” Ella waited for her to understand what she was saying.
“Really? You’ve got be kidding.” MJ couldn’t believe what she was hearing but this was completely new to her.
“Yes, really. You use it the same way. You create an account; place a profile picture up along with what you are looking for. They have an internal messaging system and people will email you if they are interested. There’s a section for special events, chat rooms for Doms and Subs to talk and they sell their own special kind of toys and restraints.” Ella smiled as if she was recalling something from the last thought.
Before MJ could ask another question the bells at the front door jingled and two women with small children entered the store. Ella gave a loud “Good morning” and picked up one of her business cards. On the back she printed DeliciousDomination.com and handed it to MJ. “You will find everything you need there. They are great at answering questions if you have any. Just be safe and have fun, okay?”
MJ kept her voice down, “Sure and thanks Ella.” She was grateful to have someone to talk with and share such sensitive information. As she turned to go a thought crossed her mind. In a whisper she asked, “How do you know so much about this stuff?”
Ella hesitated and then leaned over the counter to whisper her response. “I’m a Sub. I have been for years…” She could see the utter surprise in MJ’s face. She knew it would come up eventually so it was fun for her to see the shock wash over her friend. She smiled and waited.
“You mean you have a man that treats you like the woman in the ‘Shades’ book?” It was out of her mouth before she could stop to think. MJ felt bad for asking such a personal question. She had no intention to upset her friend.
Ella smiled and said, “No, not a man, I play for the other team.” She paused again seeing surprise in MJ’s eyes. Not being able to resist the temptation she finished by whispering, “Now, you let me know if that ever catches your interest.” She stood back up to the counter and said loud enough for the others to hear, “Thank you, ma’am. We appreciate your business. I hope you have a great day.”
MJ stood there in shock as Ella turned and again greeted the two women with a “Can I help you find something?” And just before she walked over to her new customers, Ella turned to MJ smiled and winked.
She’s enjoying this.
MJ smiled at the realization, waved and walked out through the jingling of bells. She stood on the sidewalk in order to let her thoughts catch up with what had just happened.
Holy bat shit! No wonder she knows so much about all this. Did she say ‘years’? She has been a sub for years? And a lesbian! Oh my! Mary-Beth my dear, you have a lot to learn…
She turned on her heels and headed to her parked car.
Let’s get started!
Chapt
er Fifteen
By the time she arrived back at home MJ’s mind was in a full frenzy. The things she had learned, the books she had purchased, the new web site and of course the revelations about Ella, all were racing through her head. She parked the car and practically ran into the house. She tried to calm her nerves by making a pot of coffee and choosing one of the two books to read.
When the coffee was finished brewing MJ poured a cup and settled into a chair in the living room. Of the two, it seemed to make sense to start with the first book Ella had recommended, ‘Submissive Intentions’. She was excited to see the other side of the relationship and opened the book as she sipped her coffee.
Within an hour and a full pot of coffee it was clear to MJ that Ella was right. According to the author, Submissives were driven to serve the needs of a Master or Mistress or both. She recalled the fiction book and how the character was forced to use the word ‘Mistress’. They give freely of themselves and consider everything they are belongs to their Master or Dominant. This act of giving freely inspires them to willingly do anything the Dom asks or requires. Further, a true Sub feels that any orgasmic release can only be granted by the Dom. To receive permission to have an orgasm is to have performed extremely well and deserving of such a reward. Their orgasms are a gift from the Dominant, and thereby much stronger than otherwise could be achieved.
This was new insight for MJ. She had not considered this level of control. Is it possible to have that much control and the Sub enjoys it? It sure seems so. The book outlined the power of the relationship and how the sub hungered for a special person who could safely take over and demand they carry out any act for the express purpose of pleasing the Dominant.
