The walk from the front door to the car was only a few feet. The hotel security had formed a barrier so that we had room to get through, but one look at the flashing cameras and screaming fans had me taking a step backward, clutching Beth to my chest.
“It’s okay,” Jackson said, his voice close to my ear. I felt his arm come around me. “Sam will go first with Hector, and we’ll follow, all right, love? I’ve got you.”
So I let him pull me close to his side and rushed outside, trying to ignore the screaming of the fans and the yells of the photographers. Jackson kept his arm firmly around me, guiding Beth and me to the car.
“Who’s your girl, Jackson?” a photographer shouted.
Jackson ignored them. We were almost to the car, and Sam was already slipping through the back door on the driver’s side. Just as we reached the curb, a photographer somehow got around the barrier. It all happened too fast for me to see how he’d done it. All I knew was that our way was suddenly blocked, a camera was right up in my face, in Beth’s face. The man was shouting, and Beth started to cry.
“Get the hell out of the way!” Jackson yelled, pushing the photographer away. He stumbled but lunged forward again. This time, Jackson released me, only for a moment, so he could use both hands to push the man as hard as he could. The photographer sprawled on the concrete next to us, still taking pictures, but then Bill was pushing us into the car and it was all over.
“Holy shit,” Sam said, taking Beth from me and getting her strapped into her car seat. Even his voice sounded shaky. “That was crazy.”
“How did that guy get through?” Jackson snapped at Bill as he got into the car. Hector immediately pulled out into traffic, leaving the crowd behind.
“I don’t know,” Bill said, shaking his head. He looked back at us. “Everyone okay?”
“I’m fine,” I said, my voice small. To tell the truth, I was terrified. That guy had gotten so close to Beth. She was still crying. I nestled my face against her head, whispering that she was okay, that it was over now.
“Sofie, he didn’t touch you, did he?” Jackson asked, voice tight.
“No, he didn’t touch me. I was just…scared.” Jackson’s hands gripped his knees, and I directed my attention back to Beth, who was finally calming down. “Good girl,” I told her, running my fingers gently across her cheek. “You’re okay now.”
I looked up to see Jackson staring straight ahead, his hands still clenched. His face was like stone—I had never seen him so angry.
“Jackson.”
“Sofie, I swear to God if you tell me that was an over-the-top reaction, I’m going to lose my mind.” His voice was low and barely controlled. “If you think I’m not going to push some asshole out of the way when he gets that close to you or Beth—”
I reached over and took one of those tightly clenched fists into my hand. “I was just going to say thank you.”
He looked at me, surprise on his face. “You were?”
“Of course. You got us out of a situation that was scary and made sure we were safe. I really appreciate it.”
“Oh.” Slowly his face relaxed until he was almost smiling. “Well, then. You’re welcome. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
Not caring that Sam or Bill or anyone else could see us, I leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”
We didn’t talk any more about the press the entire way home. Everyone seemed a little tired, more quiet than normal as we settled onto the plane. Sam got Beth to fall asleep shortly after takeoff and then fell asleep himself, and one of the flight attendants brought out a blanket and pillow for him.
“What about you?” Jackson asked me. “You want to nap?”
“You’re the one who’s been working his ass off all week.”
He shook his head. “And you haven’t been working right along with me?”
“I got a massage yesterday, Jackson. I’d call that pretty relaxing.”
As the flight attendant passed, Jackson asked for another blanket, but when she brought it back, he surprised me by pushing the armrest between us back into the chair so he could scoot me over and cover us both. “Let’s watch a film,” he suggested as I cuddled up next to him, breathing in the now familiar scent, loving the feel of his solid chest below my cheek.
He picked some comedy I had never seen, but I couldn’t concentrate on the movie. All I could think about was the conversation we’d had in my room. He told me to take my time. To think about how we might be together. And I could see it, so clearly, us as a couple.
But how did we get there? All of the same problems that had existed before this weekend were still there. Nothing had really changed. I still needed to put Beth first, needed to be cautious of who I let into her life. I still needed the job he had given me, still wanted to find some independence of my own. And there were still my parents, who would surely be unhappy with the direction our relationship had taken this weekend.
And Jim, a little voice in the back of my head whispered. My stomach clenched at that. I definitely needed to worry about Jim.
But in spite of all of that, I still couldn’t imagine walking away from this. Maybe there were obstacles to overcome, but didn’t every relationship have those? Wasn’t that what it was all about? Finding the way forward through those obstacles?
Okay, Sofie, that sounds real nice, but what does it mean for you? I asked myself. Jackson had a job that took him all over the world. Would I be willing to move for him, to travel with him? Could I really live the kind of life that he lived? It all felt like too much to try to figure out at once.
Jackson’s arm tightened around me slightly, and I realized I was tense. I allowed myself to relax, to settle into his side, and he kissed the top of my head. Maybe, for now, this was enough. To just be by his side and watch a movie. Maybe the other decisions would come with time.
You can take your time, he had told me. I’m not going anywhere.
I was counting on that.
Chapter Twenty-one
Jackson’s last week filming in Detroit was probably the busiest week he’d had on set yet. There were several scenes that needed to be finished, and the actors and crew were working late into the night, every night. There weren’t many opportunities for us to talk, or spend time alone, but I tried to remind myself that that was okay. It was good to take our time, right? To figure things out. He said he wasn’t going anywhere.
And when the shoot was over, he had almost a week off before Jenner’s play, with zero commitments. I hadn’t gotten word from his team that he needed to be anywhere or that I should arrange for the jet. I hoped that meant he was sticking around during the break. Maybe then we would have time to spend together.
On Wednesday, Erin showed up on the set. She was full of encouragements for Jackson on his work and shuttled between temporary work spaces in his trailer and condo, where she proceeded to make a million phone calls and watch Jackson way too closely. I tried not to be annoyed by this—if Jackson was going to be in my life, I was going to have to get used to the people on his team. But I had never gotten over the fact that Erin had wanted me to spy on him. I doubted I would ever come to actually like the woman.
On Friday, I left the set early to pick up some of Jackson’s dry cleaning and run a variety of errands. I felt almost sad to go—there would only be two more days of shooting, and I had a feeling I was going to miss the controlled chaos of the movie set.
After I finished with the errands, I stopped at home, thinking I would bring Beth back to the set with me for the evening hours. But Sam had left a note that he and my mom had taken her over to his mom’s for the afternoon for a little change of scenery. I wonder if he’s getting bored with the nanny thing, I thought. He’d done an amazing job with Beth, but it wasn’t hard to imagine that the position might eventually lose its appeal for him. It was hard spending so much time with a five-month-old without much adult interaction.
I decided to make a quick sandwich for dinner before dropping Jackson�
��s dry cleaning at his place. Maybe, if I was lucky, he’d get out of work early, and I might actually get to see him, just the two of us, for a few minutes at least.
A slamming car door outside had me looking up from my peanut butter and jelly. Through the kitchen window, I could see a man walking up the driveway. My heart dropped. Jim.
Part of me had been expecting to hear from him. I had a feeling he wouldn’t be too happy with the pictures of Jackson and me in New York. When he didn’t call all week, I was actually surprised. Apparently, he had decided to stop by instead.
Feeling like this couldn’t possibly be anything good, I went to the door to let him in.
“Hey, Jim,” I said, trying to keep it civil. “How are you?”
“I’m fine, Sofie. Just fine.” There was an edge to his voice that I didn’t like.
“Well, Beth isn’t here right now if that’s—”
“I’m not here to see Beth. Can I sit down?”
“Oh.” Again I felt that same sense of foreboding. “Sure.”
He took a seat on the couch, and I sat in the recliner, pretty much as far from him as I could get. The seating arrangement also ensured that I was keeping myself between him and the door—a sad consideration to make.
He pulled a manila envelope out from his jacket and laid it on the coffee table. “Care to tell me about your weekend?”
I stiffened. So he had seen the pictures.
“I went to New York for work. And I think we’ve already discussed how my work is none of your business.”
“It’s my business, Sofie, when you take my daughter out of the state without so much as letting me know.”
“Jim, I have custody of our daughter—”
“Maybe not for long.”
My entire body went cold, and suddenly it was hard to breathe. I had to figure out how to diffuse this, right now.
“I took Beth along so she wouldn’t have to be in childcare for such long hours. Sam came with us. It was only a few nights, and—”
He snapped the folder open, and I could see it was filled with pictures from the weekend. Jackson and me going out to dinner. The two of us rushing back into the hotel, hand-in-hand, laughing. I blushed, remembering what had happened right after that shot was taken. Then there was a picture of us the morning we had left, surrounded by photographers, Jackson’s arm tight around me with Beth in my arms.
“Are you honestly going to sit there and tell me there’s nothing going on between you and Coles?”
I met his gaze and immediately wished I hadn’t. There was anger in his eyes, hot and barely contained. He looked just as he had that night in the garage. Just as he had the night outside of the office. Alcohol, apparently, had nothing to do with his temper.
“Jim, it’s really none of your business.”
He slammed his hand on the pictures so hard, the table trembled under the force. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
I gripped the edges of the chair, fully prepared to get up, to get out of there. “I’m not going to have you in this house using that language or being violent,” I said, my voice somehow calm. “If you want to have a discussion with me, you need to behave like an adult.”
He laughed, the sound bitter, as he jabbed his finger on the photo. “And you call this acting like an adult? Running around Manhattan whoring with this asshole?”
I stared at him, arms crossed, doing my best to appear unruffled. Inside, I was screaming. I was afraid of him. I had always been afraid of him. And I should have done something about it a long time ago. Because if I called the police right now, when he was already threatening me about custody, it would push him right over the edge. I couldn’t do anything to risk that.
“Do you know how many people have sent me these pictures?” he asked, his voice more controlled. “Do you have any idea how many assholes thought it would be funny to send me these, asking if that was my ex? The mother of my child?”
“Is that what this is? You’re jealous?”
He laughed that angry laugh again. “Don’t flatter yourself. I don’t like to be humiliated, Sofie. All of these people know that I was with you. They know about Beth, and they know that I’ve been working my ass off to make things right with us.” His voice was rising in anger. “And then they see this! How in the hell do you think this makes me look?”
“I didn’t do it to make you look like anything,” I snapped. “I went to New York because it’s part of my job. A job I took to support my daughter.”
“Our daughter, Sofie. She’s our daughter.”
“You were minimally involved in the process.”
He stood up, the photos flying in all directions. “And whose fault is that? I have been trying, Sofie! Since the moment I found out about her—”
I stood, too, wishing I was taller, wishing I didn’t feel so intimidated. “You have been trying by going behind my back to talk to my parents while simultaneously calling me names, getting drunk, and getting in my face, threatening me, intimidating me—do you honestly think I would let my daughter be exposed to that kind of behavior?”
He was shaking his head. “I should have seen what a bitch you were from the moment we met.”
I pointed at him. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about.”
“If you think for one minute that I’m going to stand by and let you take my daughter away to run off with some shit-for-brains faggy actor, you’re even stupider than I thought. It’s obvious you shouldn’t be trusted with her.”
The numbing cold that my anger was keeping at bay suddenly rushed through me. “What are you talking about?”
“I got a lawyer, Sofie. A good one. And he doesn’t think a judge is going to look too kindly at a woman who takes her kid out of state without paternal input. Or a woman who refuses to come to an amicable visitation schedule.” He took a step closer, and the anger in his eyes no longer looked so restrained. “Or a woman who whores herself out to the richest man she can get her hands on.”
I wanted to rail at him, wanted to throw him out. But the word lawyer kept repeating over and over in my head. “You don’t need to do that,” I whispered, licking my dry lips. “We can… We don’t need to go down that road, Jim.”
“I think we do. I’m fucking tired of you having all the power here, Sofie.”
“Jim—”
“You fucking end it. You end it right now. You come back to work at Independence, and you start taking the money I’m offering for the kid.” He shoved his face in mine. “And you make her available for visitation. No more of this phone call bullshit. Do you understand me?”
My heart was pounding so fast, I felt faint. “Why are you doing this?” I whispered. “You don’t care about either of us.”
His hand encircled my arm like a vise. “I care about not being fucking humiliated!”
That’s all this was about for him. I had rejected him after our hookup, and he had never forgiven me for it. And when I didn’t take him back even after the baby, after his friends and colleagues found out about me, it was more than his ego could stand. Jackson thrusting it all into the limelight had been the last straw.
I couldn’t let him do this.
“I would like you to look down at your hand on my arm, Jim,” I hissed. “And then ask yourself if you can honestly believe that I’m letting my daughter anywhere near someone so violent and unstable.”
He sniggered, releasing me with enough force that I stumbled back into my chair. “Who in the hell do you think the court is going to believe, Sofie?”
“We’re not going to court. This is ridiculous.”
“We are going to court. Unless you do exactly what I just told you, I am suing you for custody.” His sudden smile frightened me far worse than anything that had happened up until that point. “And I seriously doubt you want to risk me getting full custody when you find my behavior so unacceptable.”
The room started to spin as he gathered up the photographs, slipping them neatly into their envelope. Was he thre
atening Beth? Warning me that he’d have access to her without my presence? No. I had to find a way out of this.
Jim walked to the door before pausing. “Think very carefully about what I just said, Sofie. I’ll be in touch.”
And then he was gone. I sat there in my parents’ living room, trying to catch my breath, trying to figure out what in the hell I should do. I had to stop this from happening. I had to protect Beth.
I had a fleeting memory of Jackson’s arm around the both of us, shielding us from the crowd, keeping us safe.
I was up and out the door before I even considered where I was going. All I knew was that I needed help. And Jackson was the only person I wanted to see.
Chapter Twenty-two
His condo was silent and still when I arrived. I fished through my purse for my cell phone so I could call him, to see how much longer he might be, but it wasn’t there. In my rush to get out of the house, I had left it in the kitchen, right next to my uneaten sandwich.
But somehow, just being there in his condo, in his space, made me feel better. It was calm and warm and orderly here, just like Jackson. It wasn’t the first time I had taken refuge here. I curled up in a corner of the couch, thinking I would wait for him for a few more minutes before heading to my aunt’s to get Beth. My arms physically ached to hold her. But I knew if I walked into that house without getting myself together, they would know that something was wrong. And I had no idea what to tell them.
Oh God. Jim was going to sue me for custody. For no other reason than I had pissed him off. I couldn’t let him have Beth. I didn’t trust him, and leaving her alone with him… My breath caught in my chest, and I knew I was panicking.
Ever since I made the decision to hook up with Jim I had been living with the consequences of that decision. And the guilt that went along with knowing I was entirely responsible for the mess it had made. I was the one who hooked up with a stranger. And I had handled every single thing since that moment completely wrong.
Starstruck (Lovestruck Book 4) Page 23
