by Jeff Moberg
***
Later that afternoon, before I checked out and went home, my dad removed the bandages, so I could see my new nose. He held up a mirror to my face and I was stunned. My face was still a little swollen and I had two black eyes, but I was a completely different person. Ever since I was a kid, I had had this bent, crooked nose. And even though my dad was a very accomplished surgeon, he never wanted to operate on me because it would have been voluntary surgery—not required. And sometime anesthesia could be dangerous, so they just left my poor nose the way it was. But luckily for me, Janet J’s elbow had changed that.
And my father had changed my face.
He had made me beautiful.
49
Celebrity, Star, Helper
When I went back to school, you’d have thought I was a celebrity. Every person in school--from friends, to strangers, to teachers, to administrators, to parents, and even Mrs. Wilma—wanted to see my new nose. My dad had done an incredible job. It was one thing to have cosmetic surgery, but my dad was the best—he had operated on movie stars--and the result was that I was suddenly stunning. And other than Norma B (who was in a class by herself), I was getting more attention from the guys in school than anyone else. At first, I was really enjoying my new fame and soaking it up, but then I remembered how I had felt when Luke had become suddenly popular after punching McGurk. And how much trouble Janet J had been ever since. I didn’t want any more trouble, and besides, Luke was the one who had thought I was beautiful before the nose job; so tons of attention or not, I was sticking with Luke.
In English class, Luke told me about his idea for the money I had gotten for Christmas, and how it related to our new ‘positive’ project. “We can raise money to support the Disabled American Veterans—and we can use the money from your dad to make a statue of Kletch. We could put it in front of the school! How many middle schools have an alumni that is a Medal of Honor recipient?”
“Boy, you are more than pretty smart, Luke. You are a genius! That’s the best idea I’ve ever heard! What’s your idea for raising money?”
He hesitated for a second and I knew that he wasn’t sure that I would like his idea. “Well,” he said. “It’s related to your new gift.”
“My new nose?” Luke laughed out loud and Mr. Spinoza gave us the look. We paid attention for a few minutes and then Luke whispered, “No, not your nose. Your shooting ability.”
I gave him a weird look. “My shooting ability? You mean basketball?”
He nodded. “We’ll have people pledge to donate money for every 3-point shot you make? We’ll make a fortune!”
“Are you crazy?” Oops. Too loud.
“OK, Mr. Krattenmucker. Miss Norma. Please join me up front.” Mr. Spinoza was motioning for us to come up to the front of the class. I quickly remembered his rule for talking too much or being disruptive in his class--you had to come up to the front and take over teaching the lesson. Luke and I slowly got up like condemned prisoners and walked forward. Several of the football players were going, “Ohhh… you guys are in Tr-uh-ble!” They were dead on--we were in trouble if we had to teach the class, because I had no idea what was going on today. Luckily, I had Luke with me. He was a good guy to lean on when you were in a jam.
“So,” Mr. Spinoza said as we joined him up front. “How can the two of you enlighten us before class is over today?”
Everyone was quiet and staring at us. “Well,” Luke began, “Norma and I were just discussing how we were going to raise money for our new ‘positive’ project.” Mr. Spinoza nodded and waved his hand as if to say, ‘Go ahead, continue…’. “And we decided that we would have people pledge money… for every 3-point shot that Norma makes during the basketball season.”
Mr. Spinoza was still nodding his head. “That’s a great idea. I love it. Do it. Make it happen.”
Just then, the bell rang and I whispered to Luke, “OK wise guy, Mr. Spinoza might love the idea, but I sure don’t. What if I miss all of my shots? Did you ever think of that?”
Luke smiled that reassuring smile of his. “Don’t worry, Norma L, I have faith in you.”
