Dee kept quiet, her head aching. She couldn’t stay in hivemind much longer. Her temples throbbed, and the honeycomb flickered.
I think we should shelve this topic until we have more answers, Brandon said. We have another, more immediate problem—the Pirates have found us again. We’re still outrunning them, and Lanie’s brakka is working hard on a strategy in case they catch up, but we can’t go to Utopia Colony to warn them like we’ve been planning. We’d only bring the Pirates and the virus to another colony. He paused, giving everyone time to absorb the news. We need to start prepping for the possibility of—
Deegan? Are you okay? Candi’s voice was sharp, cutting through Brandon’s news and all the other back chatter. Everyone shut up, concerned by the woman’s worry. Candi was the calm within the storm, at peace even in the darkest of times. Deegan!
Dee wanted to answer, but the world went dark.
Chapter 7
Waking up was not pleasant. She really needed to sleep on a regular bed again. Her head was pounding and her back was sore. Dee groaned and stretched, her body twinging as if she’d run ten miles instead of just sleeping on a lumpy pallet.
“Easy, cupcake. Try to be still, okay?”
Dee jolted in surprise, her eyes flaring open before narrowing to tiny slits against the light. “What the—Paul, why are you in my room!?” She tried to shoo him away.
“I said easy!” he scolded. “You need to stay still!”
Dee huffed but didn’t move again. “Why are you in here?”
“Sweetie, you aren’t in your room. You’re in the hospital. Or medical. Whatever. I forgot the Peacekeeper word for it, but you’ve been admitted by that hot Gkiven, Henta. Candi has been in here a lot, too. You’re their patient.”
“What?” Dee blinked at the spots dancing in her vision, trying to see where she was. The clinical setting rang a bell. “Why?”
“What’s the last thing you remember?” Paul asked, hedging. That alarmed Dee. Paul was not a hedger—if he didn’t want to tell her what was wrong, something was very wrong.
“I was talking to you, to you and Lanie. I was holding Logan—ohmygod!” she gasped. “Logan? Where’s Logan!”
Paul leaned over her, petting her hair gently. “Shhh, Lollipop. Loogie is fine. You weren’t holding him when you collapsed.”
“Collapsed?” That sounded ominous. “What the hell happened?”
“Another aneurism.” It wasn’t Paul who answered. Tugarth stood in the doorway, leaning as if unable to stand on his own. “Except we didn’t catch this one in time.”
Dee couldn’t take her eyes off Tugarth. Seeing him, hearing his voice, was better than morphine. Her aches and pains faded—even her headache. Her body soaked up his presence like a sponge.
…which is why it took so long to process his words.
“Another aneurism? But…no. That’s impossible. That means I…”
“Died? Fell over and died?” he asked, voice raw. “Actually, yes. It is possible. You collapsed and the aneurism shredded several of your brain’s major arteries. I wasn’t there—I had no idea where you were, actually. But I felt it.” The stark pain on his face was echoed in his voice. “I felt you die.”
Paul cleared his throat. “Candi felt it, too. Somehow, through hivemind, she sensed what was happening. She ripped herself out of hivemind just as you were collapsing and raced to you; Lanie had the presence of mind to start CPR even though we were scared shitless. Somehow, Candi’s ability patched you up enough to move you into the Medbed. Henta thought you were gone; he told us to say goodbye. Candi wouldn’t accept that, though.”
Dee sat there, stunned. “I…” She shook her head. “I died?”
“You almost killed us both,” Tugarth spat. His face was twisted with grief and anger. “I felt you die!” he yelled. “And now I’m not even allowed near you, to touch you, to feel you!”
It was then that she realized he wasn’t leaning in the doorway—he was cuffed to it. Silver bracelets were linked around his wrists and bolted to the door. “What? Why?”
“He had to be restrained,” Paul explained. “He kept trying to kill himself. Then, once we told him that you’d survive, he kept trying to climb all over you. The other Peacekeepers chained him like an animal because he’s acting like one.”
Dee stared at her Viking, stunned. How had things gotten so messed up?
Paul cleared his throat. “I can’t say I really blame him, though. I think there’s a saying about situations like this: ‘one time is one time too many’ or something like that. And it’s true!” He sniffled. “Waiting for you to wake up two times? A déjà vu nightmare. You know I love you, right? I’ll always be here if you need me, but please don’t make me do this again.”
There were tears in her friend’s eyes, which crystalized just how dead she’d been. It was terrifying…but Paul obviously needed comfort. Dee put aside her own freak out. “I love you, too, Drama Queen. You’re my best friend, and it means the world that you’ve been here—that you’ve been here twice. You know I appreciate it.” She opened her arms and Paul gently embraced her. “Thank you.”
Paul pulled away and wiped at his eyes. “Someone had to brush out that rat’s nest on your head,” he joked. “The Almost Dead look has never been in style.”
Dee rolled her eyes and looked over at Tugarth. He looked wild—his white hair tangled around his pale, haggard face. The braided mohawk he normally wore was nowhere in sight, and she missed it, and how savage he looked even though he was always so gentle. Now he just looked a little—maybe more than just a little—crazy. When he saw that he had her attention again, he whispered, “I need to touch you, to hold you.”
Just then, shocked out of her mind, and scared by the implications of another aneurism, she wanted that too. Damn the pheromones. Damn being suspicious. Tugarth looked feral for her—and that, more than anything, convinced Dee that he was honest in his intentions. Even if he’d lured her into lifebonding with his alien aroma, she didn’t think he’d done it on purpose. He was worried. Frantic, even. Because he cared.
“Paul, please let him go. I want to hold him.”
Relief eased some of the haggard lines of Tugarth’s face, and his strong Viking beauty shone with possessiveness. He kept his dark eyes on her, even when Paul muttered under his breath about lovesick idiots and left.
A minute later, Paul and a Peacekeeper Dee had never met before came back to release Tugarth’s bonds. Paul probably would have tried to stick around, just to be a brat, but Dee rolled her eyes and shooed him out. Her Viking waited until the door was shut and locked behind the other males before rushing to her side; he didn’t scoop her up or pounce on her. No. Tugarth gently, reverently, caressed her face with his lightly furred knuckles. And then he cupped her cheeks, holding her between his palms as if she were precious.
“I’ve never been so scared,” he whispered. “I felt your pain first, and it grew and grew, until my own head was in a vise. When you died—” he choked on the words and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. “I felt it, and my world went dark. There is no light without you, my bright one. No hope without your courage.” He nuzzled down to her lips, where he pressed a sweet kiss. “No love without my Charm.”
Dee closed her eyes, enjoying the moment. Her pain was gone, leaving only vulnerability to weaken her…and she refused to think of herself that way. Of them that way. For some reason, her feelings for Tugarth didn’t make her weak. It confused the shit out of her, but she didn’t feel like a big, fat mess. She felt beautiful. Smart. More powerful than she had been while invisible and alone.
“Please don’t make me leave. Please don’t hide again. Please,” Tugarth begged. Hearing him—her strong, sweet Viking—beg almost broke her heart.
“It’s too late to hide,” Dee whispered, opening her eyes to stare into the polished onyx of his gaze. “I think we’ve already lifebonded.”
He froze, even his breathing.
“I mean, I think tha
t’s what happened.” Dee was still whispering, though it wasn’t a secret. She could have shouted the words and it wouldn’t have mattered. The whole ship could overhear and she wouldn’t care—she whispered because she was terrified of being wrong. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, dreaming about you, and I ached. Always, I ached. Being apart from you hurt, and then when I woke up and saw you, the pain went away.”
If that wasn’t lifebonding, she didn’t know what was. It was needing him like she needed air, or living without and suffocating slowly, day by day.
“I thought it was just, as humans say, a broken heart.” Tugarth had a look on his face, eyes wide like he was shocked, but his lips curving like he was about to burst out in exultant song. “I never imagined we were…no, that’s untrue. I have imagined being lifebonded to you. I just didn’t think my pain was because we’d already bonded—I didn’t think it was possible for it to happen accidentally.”
Dee smiled in understanding. “Yeah, it’s a bit overwhelming.” And he hadn’t done it on purpose. Her relief released the last of her tension, and it felt like a mountain rolled off her chest—she felt almost giddy.
“It’s perfect,” he blurted. “It’s what I’ve wanted since the moment I saw you.” He leaned down and nuzzled her again, his fuzzy nose tickling her own.
Dee let herself bask in his joy for a moment. She was wanted—cherished. It was a new experience, one she could learn to love. And then she was airborne.
“Eep!” she squealed, instinctively wrapping her arms around her Viking’s neck. “What are you doing?”
“Hold on,” Tugarth said, carrying her out of the medical ward like an alien white-knight ninja. “I want you in my home, in my bed.”
…which sounded perfect.
Nobody bothered them on the way out, mostly because Tugarth slipped through the corridors completely unseen, even with Dee in his arms. He moved silently—like a real ninja. All jokes aside, it was impressive.
She snuggled up to him and dropped her face into the crook of his neck. He cradled her in true bridal style, and she supposed that was appropriate considering they were newly lifebonded. Though that idea still sent a tingle of wariness through her, she was no longer afraid. The difference between Tugarth’s possession and Kinnip’s ownership…well, there was no overlap.
With Tugarth she was loved.
The trip to his home was a blur; she could tell they weren’t on Level 006 where the Paradins were housed, but she didn’t say anything. Dee kept her head tucked under his chin and enjoyed the sensation of being carried. Strangely, it made her feel feminine. Her male was strong enough to go full caveman without breaking a sweat.
She nuzzled him, aroused by his strength. His arms were a thick and solid barricade around her, keeping her safe within so that she didn’t have to worry, to hide. But despite his size and power, he was always gentle with her—she might as well have been porcelain, or the most delicate china in the universe.
Dee mentally snorted. Her, delicate? Not so much. Even still, it was a nice feeling.
Tugarth paused in front of a door and shifted her weight so he could open it. He stepped inside his quarters with her cradled close. “Welcome home, my bright, brave Charm.”
Dee craned her neck to peer around; she was hoping for a glimpse of something personal, but her Viking’s home looked uninhabited. After days cooped up in Jane’s quarters, which were often dusted with a thick layer of jerry-rigged toys, it was creepy to be in such a sterile living space.
Tugarth’s efficient kitchenette, complete with sink and tiny pantry, was off to the side, a plain table and two chairs in easy reach. The beanbag couches in the sitting area were grouped together, boxed in by the lavatory on one side and shelving on the other; Dee knew from her own quarters that basic household goods, like spare blankets, cups and plates, and even personal hygiene products, were all stored there. It was an…alien setup. Tugarth’s single bedroom was off to the left, the door open and inviting.
More than six months aboard the ship meant that everything was familiar enough to seem normal, despite how different it was from Paradise. But it didn’t feel like a home. Tugarth didn’t have personal items on any surface she could see, nor did he appear to have clutter from day-to-day living. The place was eerily empty.
“Where’s all your stuff?” she asked.
“What stuff?” Tugarth gently set her feet on the ground but kept a light hold on her hips.
“Your knickknacks and pictures, and, you know, stuff.” She leaned back against him, comfortable just being in his embrace. “Like, my room has tools and gadgets and clothes everywhere.”
“Did you not have enough storage shelves?” he asked.
“Uhhh…yeah, I guess. But I like seeing my stuff.” She pulled away from him and went to the wall of shelves in the sitting room. She pulled one of the doors open and snooped a bit before turning around with a frown. “Even your closet is clean. This might be a problem for us.”
Tugarth put his hands on his hips and cocked his head. “Of all the things we may have problems with, closet space won’t be one. What is really bothering you?”
Damn him and his perceptiveness. Dee shrugged. “It feels cold.”
“I can adjust the temperature,” he offered.
“No,” Dee sighed and looked around. “The vibe—um, the ambiance—is cold.” She shifted from foot to foot, and then blurted, “I don’t want to live here.”
Tugarth smiled and stepped forward to cup her cheek with his enormous and furry palm. “Where do you want to live, Deegan?”
“Closer to my people. Since losing Paradise and my childhood home, I’ve found comfort in being around the other survivors.”
“Then we’ll live in your quarters,” he said. “As long as we’re together, we could end up back on that moon and I’d be happy.”
Dee grunted. Her rash from the abrasive diamond sand had only just healed, but she would go back to the moon if it was the only way to stay with Tugarth. It wouldn’t be fun, but they’d make it work.
“For now,” he leaned down to kiss her neck, their bodies pressed chest-to-chest, “I’m glad we’re on a different level.”
Dee smirked. “Oh? And why is that?”
He let his hands explain, sliding them beneath her shirt and tracing invisible patterns across her back with enough gentleness to leave goosebumps in their wake. Dee sighed in pleasure at the soft touch and closed her eyes. A soft kiss brushed across her mouth before he moved to nuzzle her cheek.
When his hands moved to her sides and journeyed up, fingertips exploring one rib at a time, she leaned her head back in abandon. His knuckles grazed the underside of her breasts, and Dee sucked in air for a shuddery moan. It was then that she noticed the sharp, sweet smell of sex blossoming between them.
“I smell you,” she whispered. “It’s how I figured out we’d lifebonded.”
“What do I smell like?” he asked, never pausing his slow, gentle seduction.
“Sex.”
He pulled her closer with a slight growl, and the sweetness of his scent deepened. Instead of just sex, he smelled like a decadent orgasm, the musk hinting at sweat and passion. Dee groaned and buried her face in his chest, cuddling close and then nipping at him.
“You’re not going to rush me this time, my bright one.” His hands swooped low to cup her ass and then hoisted her up so that she had to twine her legs around his hips. “I’m going to kiss your every curve.”
Tugarth walked to his bedroom, and his quick stride bumped and grinded her clit against his straining erection through their clothes. Not rush? Ha! She was already wet and throbbing, and it felt like he was just as ready.
He put her down beside the bed, but instead of ripping off her clothes, Tugarth leaned down to kiss her. His tongue invaded her mouth in hot, slow strokes that made her knees go weak. She pulled on his neck to draw him down, closer, wanting to devour him through that kiss, but her Viking pulled back.
“Patience, Deeg
an. I’m not done tasting you.” His smile was just as slow and hot as his kiss. “Let me savor this.”
She was helpless against his plea and only nodded when he ran those big hands up and down her arms, soothing her, before he swooped back for another drugging kiss. There was nothing but her Viking and his heat, his enormous body shielding her as he cradled her close. The thick length of his cock pressed against her stomach, but he didn’t grind impatiently into her—no. He kept things slow.
So slow.
Too slow.
Dee was burning up, her skin tingling at his every touch. His scent was driving her crazy even as his fingertips swirled lazy, slow designs—but those teasing fingers weren’t under her shirt anymore. He was winding her up without removing a single piece of her clothing.
Really though, he had to be some kind of ninja. Maybe a sex ninja.
She tilted her head back and groaned. “Please, Tugarth—please.”
“What do you need, bright one?” he asked, his lips trailing down her neck to the hollow of her throat. He had to lean over her slightly to keep the contact, and the disparity in their size made her shiver. He was so big—all of him, every part, was huge. And she wanted it. She wanted it all.
“I need you,” she told him. “I need you to fuck me.” The words felt filthy, but saying them made her feel like a goddess.
Tugarth chuckled, and the warmth of his breath against her skin made Dee shiver. “Ah, but I told you we’re not doing it that way. Not this time.” He licked her. “But I could be convinced…”
“Please fuck me,” she whispered breathily, straining up so he’d lick her again. Her hips bucked against him, but she couldn’t get enough friction. The sweet smell of his passion was fogging her brain until she could only think about one thing. He was honestly—literally—going to drive her insane. “Hurry,” she ordered.
He sucked at her throat, his tongue laving, and she knew there’d be a mark when he finished. She shuddered at the thought of carrying his mark for everyone to see; it would be more blatant than the old-fashioned wedding marks some humans inscribed on the third finger of their left hand. Tugarth’s mark would be primal, a sensual brand. Dee loved it and tilted her head to give him better access.
Deegan's Rescue: Survivors of Paradise Book 2 Page 8
