I thought that about covered it, but no, of course not. Blondie from some gossip magazine had another question. “Ms. Masters, some of Mr. Jacobs’ former lovers have accused him of being cold in the bedroom. Would you care to comment on that?”
“Again, I wouldn’t know. You know what? Anyone who would share something like that with the public should be dismissed as an attention-seeking whore. A lady would never say something like that.”
“Lacy Waters, Jackson’s most recent flame, actually said that.”
“Well, if the stiletto fits,” I mumbled but didn’t think they caught it.
“Wow, that’s quite a statement, Ms. Masters.”
“I’m sorry, can we strike that?”
“Not a chance!” They laughed.
“The point is, I have no further interest in Jackson, so there’s really no reason to continue your stay here in Birmingham, unless it’s to interview him. I live here; I work here, and y’all following me around has really been intrusive. I almost lost my job.”
“We’re just doing ours,” one of them stated.
I closed my eyes to keep from getting angry.
“Thank you for your time. Where are my manners? Would you all like some coffee before you go?” I smiled laying it on thick.
They mumbled their “no, thank-you’s” and headed back to their vehicles.
“Ms. Masters, is there any chance you know where we can find Jackson?” one of them yelled, and I knew I had pulled it off. They must’ve believed me.
“I’m sorry, I don’t. We parted ways in Huntsville yesterday. Other than the fact that he usually spends Christmas with his mother, I really have no idea where he will be until then.”
I felt the phone Jake gave me vibrate in my pocket but kept walking. I’d meant to leave it for him in Huntsville, along with the BMW, but had forgotten. Or maybe I just wanted to leave some line of communication open.
Gah! I hated this!
I walked inside and hung up my jacket. Joe immediately pulled me to the side. “Kate, your shift is covered for the day.”
“Well, the reporters are leaving, so I figured I would come on in.”
“I can’t keep you on today. I’m sorry. The girls already worked out their schedules.”
“Okay. Monday, then?”
“Sure, kid.” He gave a half-hearted smile. “Have a nice weekend.”
“Joe, thanks again for the Huntsville thing. Ty is having a great time.”
“You’re welcome. Now go on before the bottom falls out.” I noticed the clouds rolling in as I walked to the car. This rain would bring with it the bitter cold of winter. It felt only fitting.
When I got to the car, I read the message from Jake. What happened, Katie? Why did you leave? What did I miss?
I turned the phone off and drove home. There were only a couple of reporters at Momma Lewis’ when I drove by, the same ones from the diner. They were pursuing Jake, but he wasn’t there either. At least the BMW wasn’t. When I rounded the corner to my street, I saw it there in front of my house.
Shit!
I started toward the house as Jake bounded toward me from the BMW parked on the street. I tried not to look at him.
“Really, Katie? A public statement? You gave a public statement about us without even talking to me?” I just kept walking. “Stop!” He grabbed my elbow. “What did I do? I thought…I mean, I thought…”
“What? You thought what, Jake? You thought that you would come back here and fuck up my life with all of your crazy bullshit? Reporters were questioning my son’s paternity! Then we ran off to Huntsville, which made it worse!”
“That was your idea!”
“And a stupid one,” I mumbled, trying to think of the best thing to say to make this quick. I didn’t think I could do it if it wasn’t quick. “Listen, I haven’t really been myself this week.”
“Don’t.” He held up his hand and backed away as if I were wielding a sword. “Please don’t, Katie.”
“It was a mistake.”
“Which part?” His voice cracked.
“All of it.” I could see his blue eyes glistening, but I pressed on because Joan knew what was best for him, and apparently that wasn’t me. “I’m not cut out for your lifestyle. We are worlds apart, Jake. Even sustaining a friendship with you would keep me in the spotlight, and I’m sorry, but that’s not what I want.”
“You promised…”
“I know, and I’m really sorry.”
“Sorry? You’re fucking sorry? That’s it?”
“That’s it,” I said to him with as little emotion as I could manage. “I don’t know what you want from me. I’m a single mother busting my ass to make ends meet. Since you’ve been here, I’ve almost lost my job; I’ve been humiliated in front of the world, and I’ve lost sight of what’s most important, and that’s Ty. You aren’t good for me.”
“What is this? Where is this coming from? Everything was fine yesterday!”
“I was lying in bed last night after watching you with Ty, and all I could think was how irresponsible and reckless I’ve been since you came here. I mean the way you interacted with him…” I had to look away because the memory was so sweet it was breaking my heart to taint it. “He won’t forget that. I shouldn’t have let you meet him. I’ve just been thinking about it, and I realized that nothing good can come of us being close again.”
“Everything good can come of it!”
“How do you see this playing out, Jake? We talk on the phone? You swing by once a year when you’re in town? Are we friends? Are we friends with benefits? Or, even more ludicrous, do we try to have a romantic relationship?” The latter part came out as a shrill. It was all I could do to hold this ruse together.
He shook his head. “We don’t have to have a relationship if you don’t think it’s possible, but, Katie, we’ve always been friends. And what we’ve shared this week…”
“I told you it was a mistake. I’m not fuck-buddy material.”
“No, you’re not. I agree. I never wanted that.” His admission hurt. He was right. He hadn’t tried to have sex with me. I had basically forced myself on him. “But we can get back to where we were, right? I mean we’ve come so far in just a week.”
“No, you aren’t good for us, Jake. I can’t deal with your celebrity. It’s too much.”
“So you never cared about me at all?”
The question almost broke me. I had to wrap my arms around myself. “Yes, I cared about you…five years ago. I cared about you right up until you broke my heart.” He started to say something, but I didn’t give him the chance. “Don’t apologize again. I’ve forgiven you, but I can’t just forget what that felt like.” He shook his head like he couldn’t believe that I had brought that up again. “I’ve done a lot of growing up since then, and I have grown-up responsibilities now.”
“If you’re worried about your job, I can help you.”
“I don’t need your help, Jake! Is that why you came here? You feel like I’m a pet project or something? I don’t need you!”
I turned away from him. I knew I was about to break down.
“Katie, please…” His voice cracked again, and I knew if I didn’t get ugly his emotion would spill over into me.
“Why did you come here, Jake? Why do you want to know me now? Cut the shit and tell me the truth!” I screamed loud enough for everyone in the neighborhood to hear.
“Because I’m empty!” His admission hung between us. “You are everything real in my life! I need you!” It was all I could do to keep from falling into him. My feet itched to step toward him, but Joan’s words kept screaming in my subconscious. Being with me would ruin him. I loved him too much for that. I knew I was going to have to be downright mean to make him leave before I took it all back.
“You need me? You’re empty. You, you, you. You’re selfish is what you are. You’re willing to run my son and me through the very public wringer to get what you need. Yeah, no thanks.” I spat the hurtful words
at him, holding back tears.
“So that’s it? You just cut me out again?”
“What do you want from me?”
“Something real! Something real, Katie! Please don’t do this again. At least keep in touch.”
“What for?” I said, closing the door in his beautiful face. I watched through the peephole as he paced on the porch. He rubbed his face hard, raised his knuckles to knock, and dropped his arm again. He fisted his hands in his hair and reared his foot back to kick my porch swing but stopped short and walked away. I collapsed right there in the foyer, letting every tear I had held in for the past several years spill out of me like a river.
I was protecting him. One day he would understand, right? My mind understood, but my heart didn’t. It was breaking. I loved him, and he was gone.
It was dark out by the time I dragged myself into the shower. My eyes were puffy and sore from crying, but the tears kept coming. I knew it was love. I had never felt anything like this…this heartbreak. It was the real thing with Jake.
I powered up the phone he gave me, and there were two messages. I wiped my face and thought, If he asks me, I’ll tell him the truth. If he asks to come over, I will say yes. If he asks to maintain a friendship again, I’ll tell him everything and let him decide what he wants to do.
I pressed the button, and the first message was from Jake. Disappointment and hurt coursed through me as I read it over and over. I won’t bother you anymore, but I’ll always be here for you, Katie. If you ever need me, I’m here.
A fresh round of sobs found me as I read the next message. You did good, kid. –Joan
Chapter 14
Sleep came easy after a cry like that. So did nightmares. I awoke the next morning and flipped on the television. Even as I watched it, I couldn’t believe I had done that impromptu interview. What was I thinking? Couldn’t I have just faced Jake and talked to him? Then I heard myself say it on TV. I called his ex “an attention-seeking whore.”
I turned the television off, falling back into bed. All I could think about was Jake. The way it felt when he kissed me, when he touched me…the way it hurt when he admitted that he’d never wanted a sexual relationship with me.
To think I had almost told him I loved him. I felt so stupid for falling in love with him. He may have been just Jake Lewis to me, but in reality, he was a worldwide movie star. And the way I threw myself at him? I was humiliated all over again. Why had he even played along? Why had he slept with me if he didn’t want me? Because he was a man! Expecting him to say no would be like expecting a hungry dog to say no to a steak!
I fell back asleep, thankfully. At least it was a brief reprieve from my churning thoughts.
When I woke up, I turned the TV back on. Jake was on. Shocking. One would think they had found a new story after my statement. I shook my head at myself again for doing something so stupid.
The camera followed Jake as he walked up his mom’s sidewalk, his hands tucked in his pockets. He ignored the people shouting his name. When he went inside, the camera panned back to the reporter.
“The suddenly dodgy Jackson Jacobs is not commenting on his brief relationship with Kate Masters. Wait, he’s coming back out. Jackson! How do you feel about Kate calling Lacy Waters a whore?”
They zoomed in on Jake. He had a duffel bag thrown over his shoulder as he walked toward a waiting Town Car.
“No!” I leapt up and ran out into the rain in my pajamas. I ran through the yards on the path we had taken as kids to get to Jake’s mom’s house. I saw the BMW still in the driveway. I hoped he hadn’t left. But with the reporters gone, I had to assume Jake had left too. Still, I had to talk to him. I couldn’t leave things like this. I thought I could, but I just couldn’t.
I ran straight up to the door and knocked, dripping wet and shivering. Momma Lewis ushered me inside as soon as she opened the door. “What on earth?”
“Is Jake still here?”
“No, honey, Joan picked him up an hour ago.” I let my chin drop. “What happened?”
“I messed up. I really messed up.” I let the tears fall again.
“Oh, baby, just call him.” I could tell Jake hadn’t told her much about what happened, probably just enough to get himself out of the door. “I’m sure y’all can patch things up.”
“You don’t understand.” I shook my head. “I…I… How can I say this to you?”
“You’re in love with my son?” My eyes widened in surprise, but I nodded. “I may not be a spring chicken anymore, but I’m not blind. I could see it the minute the two of you walked in here the other night.”
“I’m sorry.”
She laughed, “I don’t even know how to respond to that. You know, you two have always had something special, honey. You get along like a house on fire, always have. Your mom and I thought we would have to worry about y’all getting together in high school, but nope, you just kept right on being best friends, like you never even noticed each other. Now she’s not here, and I have to handle this alone.”
“No, ma’am, it’s not your problem. We’re adults. We’ll work it out.”
“You better. Friendships like yours don’t come around often. Believe me, I know.” Her eyes glistened. “My friend is gone,” she said, referring to her friendship with my mom—“but yours, he’s just on a plane. He’s just a phone call away. You can make it right. I know you’ll do what’s best for both of you.”
“That’s just it. What’s best for us is to be apart.”
“Oh now, that can’t be! Neither of you have ever done anything worth spit apart.”
“Um, I don’t mean to correct you, but he’s done quite well for himself.”
“Do you see any grandbabies running around my feet? Do I have a little mini Jake hanging off my leg? Are there crayon marks on my walls?”
“Well, no, but…”
“Do you know of a single successful relationship that my son has had? Because I sure don’t.”
“He dated Lacy Waters…”
“He didn’t date that girl. He hasn’t properly courted any lady. He just goes around with them.”
“Yeah,” I said, “I know what that’s like…”
She looked at me sideways. “What does that mean? He said you asked him to leave.”
“I did, but only because of my past. Joan said—”
“Oh, I know I don’t want to hear what that witch said. She knows better than to step foot in this house with that high and mighty attitude of hers. Besides, everybody has a past, honey.”
“Not everyone has a past like mine. It could ruin his career.”
“His career isn’t as important to him as you are.” She cupped my cheek, and I leaned into her touch. “Call him. Straighten this out. Trust me.”
“Okay.”
“Promise me.”
“Yes, ma’am, but please let me talk to him. Don’t tell him I came by.”
“You know I won’t meddle, but you call him. Call him today.”
“Yes, ma’am. Thank you.”
“I love you, honey.” She hugged me.
“I love you too.”
She said Jake had left the car for me, but I refused it. Since it was still pouring, she offered to drive me home, but I told her no. I walked the path back to my house feeling soaked all the way to the bone. I didn’t mind. It was emotionally sobering. It also gave me a chance to think. I was going to call Jake. I would tell him the whole story. He would understand. I would even do my best to let him know that Joan was only trying to help, not interfere, even though I wasn’t sure I believed that myself. She actually seemed happy to “handle” me, to get me out of the way, but it was in the past now.
Jake had said he would always be there for me, so I hoped he would be ready to talk to me, and if he wasn’t, I would wait. It wasn’t like I was going to tell him I loved him. No, that would be stupid since our recent conversation had revealed that he regretted sleeping with me. Every time I thought of it, I felt that pang of hurt in my side,
ten times that of the one I’d felt when I found out about George. No, I would just tell him what had happened and apologize. Maybe he would even come back and stay on until Christmas like he had planned.
The shivers were racking through me so badly by the time I reached my house that I had to change clothes before I could make the call. With my teeth still chattering, I picked up my fancy phone and began a text. Jake, I’m so sorry. I need to talk to you. Please come back. Delete. Jake, I started again. I have some things to tell you, call me, I’m sorry. Delete.
Screw it. I dialed the only number programmed into the phone. A recording came over the line. “We’re sorry, your call cannot be completed at this time.” Maybe it was because he was on a plane, I reasoned. But that was what my prepaid said when I hadn’t refilled the minutes. Shouldn’t this call just go to voicemail?
I got on my computer and got the number for the customer service line because that was how desperate I was to make the call. The lady I got on the line seemed frustrated that I couldn’t even tell her my number but walked me through the steps to find it on my phone. I had never dialed my own number; how would I know? After all, Jake had just given it to me a week ago.
She put me on a “brief,” albeit not so brief, hold. I drummed my fingers on the kitchen counter while I waited impatiently. When she came back on the line, I said, “Listen, I’m just trying to get in touch with my friend. I can just call him from my home phone. It’s really not that big of a deal.”
“Ma’am, your phone has been disconnected. That’s why you can’t get a call out.”
“Oh,” was all I managed.
“I’m sorry I kept you on hold, but I had to go through various lines to find yours. It seems the account holder on this plan does this frequently.” I heard a touch of sympathy in her voice. She was implying that I was just one of many and she wanted me to know that so I didn’t make a fool of myself trying to get in touch with the famous Jackson Jacobs. Apparently, he’d added a line for every lady friend he came in contact with, only to drop the line when he dropped her.
Love Reconnected (Hollywood Series Book 1) Page 18
