by Greg Prato
YANNI “JOHNNY” BACOLAS: The guy was one of the nicest, most humble, sincere people that you’ll ever meet. I’ll give you an example of how humble he was. One night we were watching that movie Cocktail. He’s watching Tom Cruise — he’s spinning all these bottles, and there’s all these girls lined up at the bar. Tom Cruise is just a stud in this movie, right? Layne’s watching, he looks up — he’s got a cigarette in his hand, and of course the ash is about two inches long, that’s how he always smoked — and goes, “Think of all the women he can get.” I ’m just like, “Dude, come on! You’re a singer in one of the biggest bands in the world!” He wasn’t this arrogant, cocky, have-three-chicks-in-the-hot-tub-topless guy. He was just a pure artist, and didn’t really think of all that stuff.
NANCY LAYNE McCALLUM: If you’re in a situation where everything you do is under the microscope, everything about your life is being planned and managed by somebody else, and that life includes dealers putting pure free drugs in your pocket to keep you coming back — it’s a hell on earth. Then people watch and wait for you to die, because they’re going to sell all that stuff they stole out of your storage unit. They’re going to see to it that it gets to an auction house specializing in sports and rock memorabilia, where it gets sold. Then your parents are going to have to buy it back with your hard-earned money. It’s very disgusting, that tangled web they weave. Maybe a person that’s involved in that whole web of destruction thinks it’s a funny, challenging game. I’d love for that person to have to sit down and talk to my son. “They parted his garments and cast lots.” Ghouls.
EDDIE VEDDER: Jim Morrison or some historical landmark in rock ’n’ roll, you picture Jim Morrison waking up and taking ten or fifteen tabs of acid. That was breakfast, and then he went from there. You just know these are human beings behind this. That was how Layne was when he played music, and it was also a part of his music. In a way, it was what allowed his real personality to be kind and innocent. There was a place where you could exorcise some of the darker things that were going on. Apparently, there were more than we even knew.
NANCY LAYNE McCALLUM: I think Layne knew he was dying, but he didn’t plan on it. He had just gotten his driver’s license renewed, and he was in the middle of art projects. I really expected that Layne would survive this ordeal. Nobody should die like that. I wish the dealers could have seen what I saw. And truly, may they rot in hell.
MIKE INEZ: Ann Wilson put it great — she spoke at his funeral, and Ann and Nancy sang a song called “Sand” [from Heart’s sideband, the Lovemongers’ 1997 release, Whirlygig]. One of Ann’s best friends and employees died from AIDS, and she wrote the song about him. It’s just this beautiful acoustic piece. She said, “Layne was too fragile for this earth.”
JERRY CANTRELL: It’s something I miss. But at the same time, I can’t be bummed about it — I’m really thankful for what we had, and what we did. And something that still lasts. I still hear his voice every day on the radio — and if I don’t hear him personally, I hear him through some other kid emulating him. And that’s great. I was lucky enough to have the experience to be in a band like I was, and be in a band with the type of guys that I was, and still am.
I think he is remembered — as a great singer. A very unique style, and those who knew him personally, was a beautiful person. I can’t really ever think of a moment I ever saw him that he was super-pissed about anything. I’m sure he had his moments once or twice, but he was always the guy that was a peacemaker. He cared about people, what he did, and the type of music he played.
KRISHA AUGEROT: What I remember about Layne was this awesome voice, in such a little guy. Just incredible. He was one of my favorite people to watch — I loved watching Alice in Chains.
SUSAN SILVER: Layne was the most atypical lead singer I had ever met or heard about. He had no ill will towards anyone. He had this sweet disposition, and a really tender heart. And a wicked sense of humor — just hilarious. He was so witty, so funny, so quick. But no sign of egotism or “LSD” — “Lead Singer Disease.” Such a dear person.
MICHELLE AHERN-CRANE: It’s weird; I will often awake in the middle of the night with thoughts of Layne. I remember a sad or sweet look he gave me, and even though I know it’s stupid — you know, “Never trust a junkie” — I find myself riddled with guilt for not being more sensitive, open, or even helpful. He would often imply that he was looking for a reason to get clean, and I replay those moments over and over again. These flashes in time sometimes keep me awake for hours and make my heart hurt. I know I hurt his feelings and that haunts me. I wish I had been more sensitive because I know, most people know, how capable he was of loving someone — look at his love for Demri. But intellectually, I guess I did the right thing for me — not trusting a junkie.
SEAN KINNEY: I’m just honored to have that time with him in my life. To really know him and have been through the experiences that we had. He still makes a difference and people are still into it. It wasn’t just like, “Cool … and next.” It wasn’t for nothing. But still to me, I would give it all back in a second if I would have known what would’ve happened to us and to him. I would have left in ’87. If I had a crystal ball, I would have been like, “Fuck this.” It’s life. Life’s a tough deal.
MIKE INEZ: God bless Layne. He was my favorite vocalist — I’ve never heard of a vocalist that had that much soul. He was hurt and that pain certainly came through. A lot of people identified with it.
NANCY LAYNE McCALLUM: Lots of fans and family members try to reassure me. People try to find the right words to say the right thing to console and make us feel better — and it’s kind and the right thing to do. They say things like, “Now he’s in Heaven singing in God’s choir,” “You still have his music to listen to,” or “He’ll live on through his music and we’ll always hear his voice.” I would want young people to understand that you don’t have to accomplish anything huge to be loved. If Layne had chosen any other career, I couldn’t have loved him more. People say, “Well, you have your daughters to console you.” I say, “You don’t understand. My daughters lost their brother. It’s just as profound for them, but a different loss, and I have to be there for them.”
When you strip away all of that, what you have left is loving someone, and Layne knew that. He once wrote on an anniversary card to us, “All we need is love.” This should never have happened. Layne was sacrificed. No one should be sacrificed. We should all live long, happy lives. A goal for all of us is to try and make the world a better place. When all is said and done, and all the platitudes are stripped away, and all of the condolences and the gifts and the cards, and everyone shares their thoughts, my child has died.
I think the most important thing to remember is that no human being should be seen or treated as a commodity. People should remember him in their own way. He’s a human being first. He may have represented other things, but he is a real person, who needed to live, and wanted to live, and should never, never have suffered this horrible death. How should Layne be remembered? He didn’t want to be remembered as a drug addict. He wanted to be remembered for what he created and gave to the world. Sadly, the addiction took him too soon, or he would have been able to share more of himself with us. But for me, I feel as though I’m attached to Layne, and that he’s with me every minute. How I would want others to remember him I can’t say, but I do know how I remember him, and that is every moment.
JERRY CANTRELL: I’d say the same thing about Layne that I’d say about Kurt — it’s too bad that we lost them, because they were amazing people and amazing artists.
CHAPTER 33
“The final magic”: Soundgarden’s Breakup
Soundgarden scored their big commercial breakthrough with Superunknown, and nearly replicated its success with the follow-up, Down on the Upside. But inner band tensions proved impossible to overcome.
ADAM KASPER: Soundgarden was ready to explode right then.
MARK IVERSON: I made my first trip to Europe in ’94. You me
ntioned you were from Seattle, and everybody there was asking you all questions. “Do you know Kim Thayil?”
DAWN ANDERSON: They’d staunchly deny that they were stars. Finally, after Superunknown, I interviewed Kim, and I said, “You know you’re a rock star now, don’t you?” And he said, “Well, we outsold the Rolling Stones on this album … so I guess we’re rock stars, yeah” [laughs].
KIM THAYIL: I think [Superunknown] did enter at number one, but its sales were never the meteoric rise of Nirvana or Pearl Jam. It sold a lot of records — but over a steady period of time. That year that Superunknown came out, all four of the big Seattle bands had number one records. I did an interview with some guy — he said, “Now Seattle is the greatest rock region in history. You surpassed Liverpool. You had four bands that have had number one records from your city in one year. That’s never been done before.”
SUSAN SILVER: [“Black Hole Sun”] — you couldn’t help but find the toe tapping and find it stuck in your head in the middle of the night. But I felt that way about “Fell on Black Days.” You have to remember; I heard so many Chris songs along the way that were equally as beautiful, and as absorbing and memorable. A lot of beautiful, quirky songs, that no one’s ever heard to this day. It wasn’t a stretch to hear him write a song like that.
KIM THAYIL: I certainly liked “Let Me Drown,” “Spoonman.” “Black Hole Sun” — when we heard the original demo that Chris had done, we thought, “There’s some singles there.” I mean, when Hiro heard the [“Black Hole Sun”] demo, he said, “There’s your hit” — just like Ben said when he heard “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” I was at a Metallica gig after Badmotorfinger had come out, and [Cliff ] Bernstein had shown me some numbers of bands that had grown in a similar way — including Metallica. He said, “You guys are following a similar pattern. The next record, you make ‘the record of your life,’ and it’s through the roof.”
MATT CAMERON: The Superunknown tour was our first headlining tour. We had production, a sound system, and lighting — and played all over the fucking place. For the most part, it was pretty fun. Then towards the end of that tour, Kurt died, [and] I think the whole fabric of our group was starting to unravel a little bit.
KIM THAYIL: It started off strong — I don’t know if the fabric of the band was coming undone. I don’t think there was any interpersonal tensions — I think there were stresses from being on the road. I don’t think anybody was having problems with anybody else. That might have come to play more after the next album. Our last show was at Memorial Stadium in Seattle — a really bad show. Chris’s voice was having a really fucked-up time. When the show was over, he just walked off stage, got in a car, and took off.
MATT CAMERON: We took a little break, then we started to try and get some songs going for [1996’s] Down on the Upside. It was my idea to record it at Studio Litho with Adam Kasper, because I felt our last situation was intense — all these big named producer guys involved. It just wasn’t our scene at all. We just went back to the homemade method of making records with our buddy, Adam. It was good, but we weren’t all on the same page. I was certainly trying to keep everyone motivated and just try to get it off the ground, but if people don’t want to do things, it’s hard to get them going. We weren’t enjoying the process as much as we had been.
KIM THAYIL: It was broken up — it seemed to not be very cohesive. We did a little bit of what I thought was just demoing — preproduction. Then we went on tour [in Europe during the summer of 1995].
STEVE TURNER: We did some big festivals with Soundgarden in ’95. It was just the worst. The Soundgarden guys — none of them [were] really talking to each other, everyone angry. It was no fun. It was one of those things that we immediately knew we shouldn’t have done. I judge a lot on what our drummer, Dan, thinks about things. And that, to this day, is his least favorite trip he’s ever been on. So that says a lot to me. They were acting miserable, like they were having the worst time of their lives. Well, then fucking don’t do it! The same thing with Nirvana — if you hate it so much, don’t fucking do it. Either deal with the situation that you created, or don’t. Don’t continue doing it and acting like a little spoiled child — with really nasty parents [laughs].
KIM THAYIL: Came back, Chris was in the studio doing some demos, and then I went into a studio trying to do some demos. At some point, what I thought was preproduction ended up being production. What were demos and preproduction ended up kind of “the thing” — everything was in gear. It was like, “Wait a minute.” There was a huge miscommunication in the recording process of Down on the Upside — just in terms of pacing and tempo. Stuff was at this one tempo, and then all of sudden, the pace really sped up. The next thing I know it’s like, “We need your guitars … now! ”
ADAM KASPER: It was a long six months. Basically the same approach to Superunknown. We had so many songs since all the guys were writers. This is before Pro Tools — you were limited and it was a whole different way of recording. Nowadays, you can keep everything and never make a decision until the last day. It was the last sort of analog era — and we did it all analog. If you listen to that record, it’s got tons of stuff on it. The band seemed pretty good — they were all fairly independent at that time, as far as writing their songs. Particularly Cornell.
KIM THAYIL: I ended up just writing and completing “Never the Machine Forever.” I did it on my own, there wasn’t an iota of collaboration with that. There was a lot more collaboration with the band on all the previous records. Collaborations were getting fewer and further between. My participation was diminishing.
BEN SHEPHERD: For me, it was more painful. Because my honey was leaving me the whole time that was going on. But the music, it was way more us. We actually recorded with Randy Johnson [then-pitcher for the Seattle Mariners], after he’d won his first Cy Young. He came to the studio — he played drums, and me and Kim played guitar. We actually made a song and recorded it. Chris was going to sing on it, but never did.
ADAM KASPER: I don’t remember much about the song. Let me just say he’s a better pitcher than a drummer.
KIM THAYIL: Overall, I don’t see it as a pleasant experience. It fucked up the momentum of band personnel dynamics and creative dynamics. To the point that I was not satisfied, and I don’t think Chris was satisfied either. And that’s something that we carried on the tour. Maybe if I was more frank, sat down, and bitched with the band, things would have worked out.
ADAM KASPER: I think [Kim] felt that during Superunknown things were getting commercial-oriented and radio friendly. So that struggle started back then. And the more Chris had hit songs, Soundgarden turned into “a hit radio band.” They never were before that — they were heavy, disturbed. That was Kim’s leaning. Down on the Upside, it was even more evident. Kim was more on one end and Chris the other.
SUSAN SILVER: There was a certain lack of cohesion at that point. I think Chris was really starting to suffer from untreated depression — the way he wasn’t focused on what he needed to be focused on, in terms of making the record. And stopped participating in a way that was productive for everybody. Chris would come home and literally be on the floor in a ball, crying, in the middle of the night. He was inconsolable. They weren’t communicating — try as I may to get them to sit down and have meetings, and go talk to some kind of a group counselor. I had a book I had given them at one point, that Aerosmith’s manager had told me about — something that Aerosmith had read collectively, and helped them a lot — called The Paradox of Success. They laughed at me when I gave it to them [laughs]. They were not group therapy candidates. So eventually, everybody retreated into their own corners and stopped communicating. The key to everything, and any relationship that’s going to survive is communicating. We watched Pearl Jam go through it and come out the other side, because as difficult as it is at times for anybody to sit down and talk when they’re not feeling good about each other or themselves, it’s the only way to get to the other side. And Soundgarden wasn’t willing to
do that.
MATT CAMERON: The sessions were certainly strained. And once we started touring, the shows were increasingly bad. Just horrible. A lot of drinking, bad vibes, rock star bullshit. I was actually thinking about bailing at that point. Ben couldn’t really get through an entire show without having some kind of temper tantrum. It was so not about music.
SUSAN SILVER: As far as Ben smashing stuff up, it was not an unusual occurrence by then. He had a lot of unseated anger that he didn’t deal with in his own life. It became almost like a stage antic, to exhibit all this tension and discontent onstage. And it became an issue. I’d say the same thing over and over: “Ben, you’re giving up your power. There were 3,000 people there tonight — 2,999 of them got ripped off, because you focused on one guy.” It became like a circus act, where everybody’s focused on “Why is the bass player so mad, and who is it that he’s threatening to beat up?” So we talked about it, and I’d send him magazine articles about different things — how to not give away your power, basically. And other public figures that had gone through that frustration of that catch-22 — of wanting to be in front of an audience, and resenting it at the same time.
JEFF GILBERT: [Ben] was horribly lonely, depressed, and heartbroken. I felt so bad for him, because nobody wanted to be on the road at that point. You know where it started? When they were on the road and got the news of Kurt. They were so far away from home, and they weren’t around their support system — their friends, their family. Kim told me, “It wasn’t fair. We didn’t get to grieve, and be around our family during that period. We were supposed to be on the road. And that’s when it began to suck.” People dying out of the Seattle music scene simply was not supposed to happen.
