by Amber Cross
Well, he knew her Saturday morning routine by now, so he knew where to find her. Only when she finished her laps an hour later and climbed out of the pool, he wasn’t standing on the concrete apron. His BMW wasn’t parked beside her SUV in the high school parking lot. It wasn’t in his space at their building either.
Nervous now, she went upstairs and took the quickest shower of her life with her cell phone propped on the floor just inches away. Not even closing the curtain because she didn’t want to miss the ringtone when it went off.
It didn’t go off.
The morning dragged on in silence. She took care of some research, read and replied to a few email messages, then made herself lunch.
The afternoon yawned before her. Empty. Lonely.
Where was he? By now he should have at least calmed down enough to talk to her. Part of her wanted to cross the hall and knock on his door, but she’d told him she’d be waiting when he was ready. If she made the next move she lost the moral high ground. Usually that wouldn’t matter to her. She had pride but not enough to be stubborn and stupid about it. Only this mattered too much. His comment hurt too much. It was up to him to make the next move and show her she wasn’t alone in this.
She washed her lunch dishes and started cleaning the condo. Her brothers would instantly know something was wrong if they dropped in, so just in case she devoted her time to the bedroom, the bathroom, and then the kitchen cabinets. Where it wouldn’t be obvious she was worried about something if any of them did decide to pay her a visit.
Her concern turned out to be for nothing. David sent a text at about three, reminding her that he was in Manchester for the day and wouldn’t be back until after dinner service began at The Gables. Romney was out of the country and didn’t call. She didn’t hear anything from Hume.
Or Glen.
Not that day or the next. His parking spot remained empty. She checked it several times during the night, finally accepting that he must have gone back to New York without seeing her again.
Still she justified his actions and reactions. He needed to be home, where things were normal, to come to grips with this new reality. It wasn’t the future he planned, and she knew that would be tough for him to accept, but the man she loved would never reject their child.
So she waited.
Each night her phone remained silent. Friday night came and went with no word from him. She wasn’t expecting him, not two weekends in a row, but she had hoped.
When he hadn’t called or sent a text message by Tuesday of the next week, she called him. Deliberately not dialing his number until nine at night because she knew he would be home by then, so if he didn’t answer it meant he didn’t want to.
Her heart was racing as the ringtone sounded in her ear. Her whole body broke out in a sweat and nausea rose up in her throat, but she swallowed it back down. If she didn’t pass out before he answered it would be a miracle.
But he didn’t answer. The call went through to voicemail and her stomach dropped. He might as well have punched her because the pain was that intense, robbing her of breath and stealing her presence of mind so that the beep signaling the end of her message sounded before she spoke even one word.
Two nights later, Chief Charbonneau came to see her. “Hi Abby,” he said after she let him into the condo. “Sorry to bother you, but I’m here for a welfare check.”
Had Glen cared enough to send the police? Like Jason had last winter? Her heart skipped a beat at the idea. Only to be deflated when the police chief continued.
“Someone was spotted trying to climb the fire escape to your unit,” he explained. “Mind if I do a quick walk-through?”
“Of course not.”
She followed him from room to room. He was professional, looking at her balcony door, windows, and main door for risks. He offered a few tips about protecting herself and being aware of anything suspicious. When he asked about the condo across the hall, she told him there was an occasional resident.
“Oh, I forgot that Glen was staying there.” At her look of surprise, he said, “My cousin’s son.”
He might want nothing to do with her right now, but it seemed she couldn’t escape him. Not when the planning board met on Wednesday and she worked beside Jason whose careful conversation with her said as plainly as a billboard that he knew about her current situation. Not when she ran into Linda at the Aubuchon Hardware store while buying a new lock for her balcony door. Or when the chief rang on Saturday night to make sure nothing else had happened during the week to cause concern. He suggested she let Glen know about it so he could take steps to keep Darcy safe.
Right after that call, she drove up to The Gables because she needed her brother’s company and because she couldn’t put off telling him her news any longer.
“Asshole.” It wasn’t like David to swear, but she reveled in his reaction. He loved her, and she needed badly to be reminded that someone loved her after the last two weeks.
“He’ll get over it.” She didn’t know if she still believed that or if she were trying to convince herself because the alternative was unthinkable. “He just needs time to adjust to it.”
Pulling her into the comfort of his arms, David kissed the top of her head. “If he knows what’s good for him, little sister, he’ll get over it sooner rather than later. Any man would be an idiot to walk away from you.”
“Xie xie. I needed that.”
“Wǒ ài nǐ.”
She loved him too. They might not be siblings by blood, but in all the ways that mattered they were family, and she needed her family’s support right now.
Romney, of course, had a more emotional reaction than David when she told him about it over the phone. He threatened to hunt Glen down and castrate him for her, which made her laugh until she cried, but in the end he promised to let her work it out. Soon. He wanted his niece or nephew to have a father.
Hume offered his congratulations, as did her Mississippi grandparents and her father. They hadn’t met Glen yet, so they assumed this was good news, and she didn’t see any reason to disabuse them of that notion. There would be plenty of time for that later, but she hoped it wouldn’t be necessary.
Flo promised to start work immediately on a pair of silk pajamas for the baby to wear home from the hospital.
Then there was her mother.
“What were you thinking?” she demanded. “In this day and age, when there are so many birth control options? Don’t tell me you planned this, or I will seriously question my name choice for you.” Her mother thought Abigail Adams was the original feminist and had named her for the long-dead president’s wife. Hume was named for an Irish activist. Abby vowed in that moment her child would be given a name born of love, not some detached academic admiration.
“No, I didn’t plan it.”
“Well, there’s no reason for you to ruin your life over it. You can always come to Burlington for the day, if you’re worried about clients finding out.”
A chill snaked down Abby’s spine. She knew exactly what her mother was suggesting, and even though she hadn’t expected any grandmotherly pride or joy in the news, she was still disappointed this option came so easily to her. “I’m not getting rid of the baby, Mom.”
“Don’t be an idiot. There are a lot of single mothers out there, but women no longer have to prove that they can do it all. I assume there is no man in your life? Anyway, it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing wrong with being a single professional woman nowadays.”
“Yes, I am aware of that.”
Her sarcasm went right over her mother’s head. “Then come to Burlington. I can set the appointment up for you if you want.”
“I repeat. I’m not getting rid of or giving up my baby.”
“Fine! Call me when you’ve come to your senses.”
****
Glen wondered when she was going to come to her senses. She must realize by now her story about the pill and antibiotics wasn’t going to cut it with him. He didn’t know where t
hey went from here. Well, actually, he did know. Another eighteen years of being trapped by a woman stretched out in front of him. But he wasn’t a college sophomore this time. He had experience with child rearing, child custody negotiations, and working with lawyers.
He was spending a lot of time in law offices lately. Derek’s job in California wouldn’t start until the end of summer, but his ex-wife had decided they should move now, at least she and his kids, so they could get settled in and meet people. That way school wouldn’t be a difficult transition for them when the new semester began.
She assumed he was going to sit back and let her move his kids to the opposite coast. The battle between them in Guildhall all those years ago was nothing compared to what was happening now. This was all-out war. Just as Abby predicted, the kids would have to go before a judge and explain their own preferences, and they were assigned a law guardian to protect their rights.
He wished he could talk with her about it. On so many levels he resented what she had done, but losing her as a sounding board and confidante hurt more than he expected it to.
“Call her,” Colin said for what must be the tenth time that weekend as he drove the kids home to Scarsdale.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Just leave it. I have a lot of things on my mind, and some of them you wouldn’t understand.”
“Like her pregnancy?” Darcy piped in from the back seat.
He was so shocked his mind went blank and his body slack, his foot momentarily easing up on the gas pedal.
“Dad! Pay attention!”
Heeding his son’s warning, he pulled himself together and concentrated on the road in front of him, but he couldn’t ignore his daughter’s question. “How did you know she was pregnant?”
“Trevor.”
“Aunt Linda.”
“Why would they tell you that?”
“We were worried about you. You’ve been acting weird, all distracted and grumpy. So Colin said something to Trevor, who told him but said it was a secret, and I asked Aunt Linda if she knew about it.”
“And she told you?” He couldn’t believe his sister would be that indiscreet with a fourteen-year-old.
“No, but she didn’t deny it. Same thing.”
And he hadn’t even told his best friend. Not face to face anyway. Instead he’d waited until he got his temper under control, then left a voicemail message on Jason’s phone. The next day he’d lost his own cell phone somewhere between New York and Sherbrooke when he made a quick two-day trip to check out the new offices there. He had a burner provided by the company while his history was being transferred to a replacement, but losing it in the first place proved what the kids said. He was distracted. And grumpy.
He was also avoiding the conversation with Jason. He and Sara were responsible for him meeting Abby, and he didn’t want to let them down. They were proud of their matchmaking skills. Both genuinely liked her. I liked her too.
“So when is the due date?” Darcy asked.
He didn’t know the exact date, but if he’d done his math correctly—he always did—she would be due in late September. It was mid-April now. “About five months.”
“Oh.”
He didn’t have to guess the reason for the sad note in his daughter’s voice. Darcy loved babies. If the judge didn’t agree to let them stay with him during the school year, she would be in California when her little brother or sister was born.
God, what a mess. In only a few months he had gone from plodding through life to being excited about the future. From loneliness to hope to despair again. He had an office to open, a custody battle to win, a baby on the horizon, and the end of what promised to be the love of a lifetime. His head was spinning so much it hurt. Truly hurt, so when he got home from dropping the kids off, he took two Tylenol and went to bed.
As soon as he settled into the pillow his burner phone rang.
What now?
Aggravation showed in his tone when he answered with a curt, “Who is it?”
“Good to hear from you too, buddy.”
Shit. He wouldn’t have to call Jason after all.
“Are you going to talk, or should I just guess how you’re doing?”
Glen sighed. Made sure the other man heard it. “How’d you get this number?”
“Linda.”
“Figures.”
“Hey, someone didn’t bother telling me his phone was out of commission. What else was I supposed to do when I called you back about your news and you didn’t answer?”
“Sorry about that. I’ve been busy.”
“Right.” Doubt colored Jason’s voice. “Since Abby didn’t say anything at the planning board meeting, I take it this isn’t exactly happy news for the two of you?”
“She set me up!”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“She said she was on the pill, that’s what I’m talking about. Said she had it covered. I still took precautions, you know, since I didn’t want to end up in the same situation I was in before, but here I am again. With another woman who lied to me.”
Silence greeted his explanation. Jason was good at silence. Glen couldn’t stand it.
“Well? Don’t you have some sage advice for me?”
More silence.
“Fine. Screw you, then.”
“Dumbass.”
“What did you say?”
“You heard me. I’ll repeat it, though. You’re being a dumbass.”
Glen’s head was splitting, but he couldn’t take this conversation lying down. Tossing the comforter aside, he got to his feet and paced the floor beside his bed. “Why don’t you explain that to me?”
“You think every woman is like her.”
“Her, who?”
“Don’t play stupid. You know exactly who I mean. Your ex-wife. Not every woman thinks like her. Abby doesn’t. She’s honest.”
“Well, she lied to me about being on the pill.”
“So all of the responsibility belongs to her? You didn’t have something to do with it?”
I swear on my Oath of Allegiance to the State of Vermont. I’ve never had sex without a condom, and I want this, us, to be special.
He could hear her words as she begged him for one single time without protection. Remembered how good it had been, how it was like dying and going to heaven. Yes, he was responsible too, because he’d been stupid. He’d let lust overrule caution, and look where that got him.
“I don’t know if she lied,” Jason said, “but I’ve known her for a while now and would bet against it. More likely she made a mistake and missed a pill. Or it just wasn’t effective. You do know they’re not one hundred percent, right? And she isn’t a young twenty something with predictable hormone levels.”
“Maybe.” That was as much of a concession as he could make at the moment. He was tired, worried about a whole list of things, and he wasn’t thinking straight. His temples were throbbing like a marching band had climbed inside his head. “I hear you. I do.”
“But you’re not listening.”
“I’ll give it some thought.” He hoped that was enough to satisfy Jason so he could end the phone call and crawl under the comforter again.
Apparently it was. “Well, that’s something, at least.”
****
Judge Henry was the last person Abby called, and his reaction was not what she expected. “Congratulations,” he said in his gruff, two-packs-of-cigarettes-a-day voice.
Abby’s silence testified to her surprise.
“You’re a good lawyer. A good judge. Better than me, I think, because you understand what the people in front of you are feeling and how hard it is for them to show up in court to end something that started out full of promise.”
“Thank you.” She could barely speak for the tears filling her eyes and clogging her throat. Her mentor had never said anything this personal to her before, and it touched her, especially given his feelings about marriage and family. His wor
ds went a long way toward making up for her mother’s harsh response.
“Be happy, Abby. The law comes naturally to you, but you deserve more than just a legal career. You’ll be a natural at this too.”
But she questioned his judgment when, three weeks later, Glen still hadn’t called or returned to his condo.
She found herself crying on a regular basis. Every time she ran into Sara at the grocery store or the post office and saw her happiness, the expectant glow that people gushed about evident on her face, she wanted to curl up in a dark corner. When she dodged questions from other pregnant women at the doctor’s office about the baby’s father and whether or not he was excited and what they had chosen for names, her heart broke all over again.
She resigned from the planning board. Seeing Jason even twice a month was too often because she couldn’t take the concern in his eyes when he looked at her. He knew. Knew she was pregnant by Glen and rejected by him.
Her face broke out with acne for the first time since her teenage years. Her breasts, already large, were swollen like melons. They hurt if she slept the wrong way. Though her stomach was only slightly plump and she could still hide her condition with her professional outfits, her swimsuit didn’t fit, so she wore a bikini beneath a swim shirt but could no longer swim in the morning. It was too hard getting out of bed at that hour. Instead she went in the afternoon or evening when the lanes were packed and a serious workout was difficult, sometimes impossible, to get.
An invitation for her fifteen-year class reunion arrived in her email inbox and later in the mail. She ignored the first but opened the second only to dissolve into tears when she read the details. To celebrate the June event her class would be facing off against rivals Bates and Bowdoin in a first of its kind Battle of the BBC academic and athletic games. Events were being held at all three schools.
It didn’t matter that Glen wouldn’t be there. She couldn’t go and not think about him.
When she first learned about her pregnancy, she imagined a time in the future when their child went off to college. To Bowdoin, of course, because there would be no way to choose between parental alma maters. She would probably never visit Colby, Waterville, or the entire State of Maine again.
