She did another circuit of the room. After the others had all left the table, loyal, kind Frank had walked her silently back to their cabin. The only thing he’d said since her outburst had been to do with drinking water. She moved to the open door. His silence had cut through her more than any words could.
“Frank?”
She thought perhaps he hadn’t heard her then he shifted slightly in the chair.
“I don’t want to talk, Christine.”
The light from the cabin cast a glow across the profile of his face. Her heart ached for him. Only a few hours ago they’d made love. They’d been a proper couple again. She’d accepted he wanted this new job, she hadn’t mentioned renovations, deciding to let that slide till they got home. They had been so happy in each other’s arms, and then had come the dinner from hell. They had all looked so pleased with themselves, those older couples, and her father was all over Josie even after Christine had warned him off. She’d had too many drinks and the poison inside her had bubbled up and overflowed. Now probably no one would talk to her for the rest of the cruise. She chomped hard on her lip so she wouldn’t cry. She hated Frank’s silence. One of the reasons for this holiday had been to rekindle her marriage. She couldn’t lose Frank. A shock of realisation hit her like a brick – nothing was worth that.
She refilled her glass and moved out onto the balcony where she lowered herself carefully onto the other chair. Her head remained steady and even though her stomach was churning she felt she could sit without feeling like she would lose her balance.
“Thanks for the water,” she said.
Frank continued to stare out into the night.
She eased herself lower until her head rested against the back of the chair. “I thought perhaps you might find somewhere else to sleep.”
This time his head turned a little sideways so he was looking at her. “I thought about it.”
She felt a stab of dread at the disdain in his stare.
“I’m sorry, Frank.”
“What for?”
She flung up her hands. The movement made her head pound. “Drinking too much, talking too much, everything.” She finished limply, putting a hand to her head.
Frank shoved his chair around to face her and lurched forward. The force of the movement startled her. Anger had replaced the disdain on his face.
“Are you, Christine? Are you really?”
“Of course.”
“I don’t understand why. I get you’ve got a beef with your father every time he so much as looks like he might find a woman whose company he enjoys.”
“That’s not true. I want him to be happy but he always picks the wrong ones.” Christine wasn’t sure who would be right but certainly not any of the women her father had entertained over the years.
Frank shook his head. “Bernie and Josie aside, what did the others at our table do that hurt you so much you’d want to humiliate them?”
“They were all so superior. Celia acts detached but she’s just like Josie, after a man, and she’s got her claws into poor old Jim. He’s in a fancy suite so he must have money. And Ketty, she acts so high and mighty as if she’s in charge of the bloody cruise. Asking us about our day, telling us what we should do, how we should act. They were all being judgemental in one way or another and none of them are squeaky clean.”
Frank’s mouth fell open. “Listen to yourself, Christine. You’re not this person. I want my wife back.”
He got up and went inside. She heard the bathroom door close.
Christine rested her head back again and closed her eyes. She watched the colours swirl behind her eyelids. It made her feel sick. She opened them and drank more water.
She pictured her father and the way he’d guided Josie away. It wounded her so much to see him choose another woman over his relationship with her. She should be used to it by now but it hurt every time. Even worse was Frank’s scorn. He was usually so non-judgemental. She thought about the things she’d said tonight to the others. Had she overstepped the mark? There had been nothing that wasn’t true, she was sure but…when she thought about it, maybe the way she’d said it had been hurtful. She’d only meant to stop them from interfering.
There was movement in the cabin behind her. A couple of lights went out.
“I’m going to bed.”
She twisted slightly. Frank was framed in the doorway, a dark silhouette against the remaining light from the room. He was wearing boxers. He rarely wore anything to bed. How different tonight was from this afternoon. Was this really all her doing?
“Don’t leave me out here alone.” She knew lying horizontal was still not an option. “Please, Frank.”
He let out a sigh.
“My head hurts.” She closed her eyes and put a hand to her forehead.
“Drink some more water.”
She heard the chair creak beside her. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes again.
“I am sorry, Frank. I spoiled the evening. This afternoon was so good between us. I felt like we’d got our mojo back.”
She risked a glimpse in his direction. His face was in shadow and he was looking out to sea.
“I only wanted to save Dad from another bad decision,” she continued. “He’s the only dad I’ve got.”
“He’s an adult, not a child.”
“I know. I’ll go to his room first thing and apologise. Then I’ll find out where Josie’s room is and…beg her forgiveness.” She wouldn’t quite go that far but she could at least show remorse for the scene she’d caused.
Frank leaned in. “We could well be dining alone tomorrow night.”
“We can always go to the buffet.”
“Or I can leave you in the room for the rest of the cruise.”
Christine assumed he was joking but it was hard to tell. She took a large swallow of water, gritted her teeth and hoped her face looked suitably contrite.
“I’ll find the others and apologise to them too.”
“They’re nice people, Chrissie.” He reached across and took her hand, gave it a gentle shake. “You’re a much better person than the one who was in the dining room tonight.”
Tears brimmed in her eyes. “I only want everything to—”
“Go your way?” He leaned across and took her other hand. “It can’t. The world’s not like that. Your dad has survived all these years. You have no idea what he does when he’s on his own. Maybe wild orgies every night.”
“Frank!” It made her cringe to think about it.
“Point is, it’s up to him what he does with his time…and his money. We can stand on our own four feet.”
She gave him a wobbly smile. There was no point in mentioning she would still get her father’s money. She didn’t want to mess up this bridge-building she’d worked so hard on.
“Things will be better in the morning.” Frank smiled back, with that gorgeous look that still had the ability to make her toes curl. “How are you feeling?”
“Okay.” At least the spinning wasn’t as bad now.
“I didn’t think we’d lost it.”
Christine frowned. “Lost what?”
“Our mojo.”
She sighed. “We’ve been so busy with work and the kids. We should make more time for each other.”
“That’s why we’re here but you’ve been occupied chasing after your dad.”
“I know.”
He stood, helped her to her feet and pulled her into a hug. “Let’s make the most of the few days we’ve still got.” He wiggled his hips against her.
“Oh,” she groaned. “I couldn’t lie down yet.”
He trailed his lips down her neck. “Who said we had to lie down?”
Thirty-five
Day Eight – At Sea
There was a knock at Bernard’s door. Room service had brought breakfast earlier than he’d booked it for but they were both up so it didn’t matter. Josie was already wearing the dressing gown she’d brought with her. He pulled on some shorts and a t-sh
irt as he crossed the room. He opened the door and felt his jaw drop. Christine stood in the corridor.
“Hello, Dad.” She was pale with dark shadows under her eyes.
“You’re up early.” Bernard blocked the space left by the partly open door and resisted the urge to glance over his shoulder to the balcony.
“I obviously didn’t wake you. I need to talk, can I come in?”
“That will depend on whether you want privacy or not.”
Bernard’s heart sank at the sound of Josie’s voice right behind him.
Christine’s shoulders went back and her expression hardened. “I’m glad you’re both here.” She tried to look past Bernard. “I’d like to apologise.”
He was surprised and wary.
“Let the woman in, Bernie.” Josie gave him a gentle pat on the behind. “You can’t make her talk from the corridor.”
He opened the door wider. Christine gave him a weak smile then stepped past him into the room and followed Josie towards the balcony. She paused as she took in the unmade bed. She didn’t speak or look back but continued after Josie.
“Can you squeeze another chair out here, Bernie?” Josie called. “The air is so fresh this morning.”
He did as she asked. They shuffled the three chairs, Bernard squeezing his between the two women.
“We’re waiting for breakfast,” he said. “I thought you were room service.”
“That was lucky.” Christine glanced from him to Josie and back. “I don’t suppose you would have opened the door if you’d realised it was me.”
She was quite right about that, he thought. He should have checked the peephole first.
“I don’t want to interrupt your breakfast so I’ll be quick.” Christine sat stiffly. “I want to apologise for my unfortunate behaviour last night.” Once more she transferred her gaze from him to Josie and back again. “To both of you.”
There was a pause filled only by the sound of the ocean far below them.
Josie sat up. “I accept.”
“I am happy to pay for your shirt to be cleaned,” Christine said.
“No need. I rinsed it out straight away. It will be fine, I’m sure.”
Once more there was a pause. Christine looked at him and Josie gave him a small nudge.
“I’m sorry you feel I can’t have room for you in my life as well as Josie,” Bernard said. He searched his daughter’s face wondering if she was here to apologise or to do more damage. She’d not repeated her threat to expose his real-estate ventures but he assumed that was because she thought he was still going to give her the money she wanted for her renovations. He reached out and squeezed her hand. It was cool and soft beneath his big paw. “You know I’ll always love you, Princess. No matter what.”
“I do know, Dad. Thank you for saying it though.”
There was a knock at the door.
“Room service,” came a call.
Christine rose and squeezed behind her chair. “I’ll leave you to enjoy your meal in peace.”
Bernard followed her into the cabin.
“What are you planning for today?”
She stopped at the door and looked back. “I’ve got a few more people to track down and apologise to, then I plan to do as little as possible.” She gave him a wary smile. “See you at dinner?”
Celia had completed a full circuit of the promenade deck and was about to go inside when a familiar woman stepped though the heavy glass doors. She spun away.
“Celia,” Christine called from behind. “Wait, please.”
Celia stopped. The dread in her chest deepened. Christine was the last person she wanted to talk to right now. She turned as the younger woman drew level with her.
“You’ve been hard to find. I’ve searched the ship top to bottom looking for you and Jim and Ketty. I kept a watch on the dining room until it closed, I’ve been up to the buffet, the casino, pool deck—”
“Did you see Jim?”
Christine shook her head and glanced down at the hand Celia had placed on her arm.
Celia’s arm dropped to her side. “Oh.”
“I wanted to apologise for last night. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”
Celia flapped her hand. Christine’s apology was the last thing she’d expected and wanted to hear. “I’m worried about Jim.”
“Why?”
“He said he’d meet me for breakfast and he didn’t come.”
“Maybe he didn’t feel like breakfast.”
Christine’s words were slow and deliberate. Celia could tell she was trying to be tactful now even though she’d shown little evidence of it in the past.
“He would have let me know.”
“Did you check his room?”
“I knocked. He didn’t answer.”
“The steward was cleaning it when I was there. He said Jim wasn’t in.”
“I’ve been to all the usual places he goes.”
“Maybe he’s with Ketty. They’re friendly, aren’t they?”
“Yes, but I haven’t seen her.”
“Have you tried her cabin?”
“No.” Celia’s spirits lifted a little. Ketty would know what to do.
“I don’t know where it is,” Christine said.
“I do.”
“Mind if I come with you then? I need to speak with her as well.”
Celia looked closely at Christine. She imagined Ketty wouldn’t be so keen to see her either.
Christine held up her hands. “I want to apologise, that’s all.”
“All right.”
Celia led the way to Ketty’s deck and knocked on her door. A couple came from further along the corridor. Celia and Christine moved over to let them pass.
Christine looked back at the door and knocked with more strength than Celia had. She pressed her ear to the door then straightened. “She’s either not answering or she’s not in.”
“I don’t know what to do.” Celia gripped her hands together.
Christine gave her a wary look. “I know this is a risky question given what I said last night but…well, Jim wouldn’t be avoiding you, would he?”
Celia was too worried to be offended. “It was him who suggested we eat at eight-thirty in the dining room.”
“Maybe he slept in.”
“He could have but Jim is such a gentleman, I’m sure he’d have left a message at my door if he couldn’t find me.” Celia looked at her watch. “I’m going to try the coffee lounge.”
“Good idea. Mind if I stay with you for the moment? I could do with a strong coffee.”
Celia shook her head and they set off together again.
Christine bought her a coffee and they sat on the outer edge of the lounge. Celia had already scanned those seated and the line of passengers at the information desk, and now she was watching the people passing by. She’d thought Jim had been much happier these last few days and last night she’d felt they’d crossed some kind of invisible line between them, but now she kept having the image of him slipping on the rail the first night at sea. They’d not spoken about it again so she still had no idea if it had truly been an accident or something more sinister.
Frank strolled in, looked around and came over at Christine’s wave.
“I thought I might find you here,” he said.
“Get a coffee and join us,” Christine said. “Celia and I are looking for Jim.” She gave Celia a cheery smile. “He’s got to be somewhere on this ship. There’s nowhere else to go.”
Celia felt tears form in her eyes. It was hard to match the reassuring woman sitting opposite her to the one Celia had eaten dinner with last night.
Christine leaned closer. “You’re not really that worried, are you?”
“He was so sad those first few days and then…we…I did spend the night in his room but I was on the couch.” Celia fanned her face with her hands. “It’s a long story. Anyway, I thought Jim was beginning to feel a lot happier.”
“What’s happened?” Frank arrived
back with his coffee, a frown on his face. “You haven’t upset Celia again, Christine?”
“She’s been very kind,” Celia said quickly. “It’s just me. I’m being ridiculous.”
She tugged a tissue from her pocket and blew her nose. Christine filled Frank in on what had happened so far.
“I don’t think he’d do anything silly,” Celia said. “But I don’t know him that well.”
“Christine and I could do another sweep of the boat,” Frank said.
“You’ve only just got your coffee.” Celia sniffed and dabbed at her eyes.
“Why don’t you tell us the places you think Jim might be while we drink,” Christine said. “Then we can coordinate our efforts and you can stay here in case he comes past.”
Celia listed the places she thought Jim liked to visit. Christine and Frank listened carefully then made a plan between them.
Celia chewed her lip as the tears threatened again. She felt so helpless.
Frank placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. “Don’t worry, Celia. I’m sure there will be a reasonable explanation. Jim’s a good bloke. He’ll turn up.”
Christine gave her an encouraging smile and the two of them set off.
Every time someone came down the stairs or through one of the entrances Celia’s hopes rose then dipped when Jim didn’t appear. She watched the glass elevator and the information desk but there was no sign of him. She looked at her watch. Fifteen minutes went by and then thirty. Where could Jim be? Her heart thumped faster and her hands ached from gripping them so tightly. She took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. He didn’t have to meet up with her if he’d changed his mind. But then, as she’d told Christine, he had been the one to make the arrangement and she was sure he would have got word to her if things were different.
She ordered another coffee even though she didn’t feel like it, and had just finished it when Frank came back.
“No luck, I’m afraid. Chrissie’s gone to try his room again.”
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