Mechanical sounds snapped Alyssa out of her daze when the machines began lowering the caskets into the earth, and suddenly, the whole situation became a stark reality. They’re being buried, right now! Why? How? This isn’t right! No! No! They can’t leave me! Please, don’t leave me!
Alyssa leapt to her feet as her chest tightened and her stomach lurched. She looked down at Granny, who watched her with worry lining her face, then pounced forward, reaching for the caskets. Mumbling to herself, hands spread out in front of her, she flailed and tried to figure out how she could stop them. I have to stop them.
“Don’t go...” Her voice trembled, panic squeezing her chest as she searched for a magical button to stop the caskets and bring back her parents. “Please, don’t leave me. I need you. You can’t go. You have to stay here.”
Hands suddenly gripped her shoulders, and someone shushed her, trying to calm her, but she couldn’t be calmed. A soft, keening wail filled the air, gradually gaining in volume as Alyssa glanced around at the worried faces that watched her, their mouths moving, saying things she couldn’t hear. The keening pierced her eardrums, and she realized it was her… and she didn’t care.
Her heart pounded, threatening to burst from her chest. A huge lump clogged her throat, her breath wheezing as she fought for air, lunging for the caskets when they were almost beyond her vision, but those hands held her back.
“Let me go!” Rivers flowed down her face, burning against her cold, pale cheeks. “I want to go with them. They can’t leave me behind! We’re supposed to go together! Please!” All her strength drained into the graves before her. “Please...”
Whoever had hold of her turned her around, crushing Alyssa against their chest as she gasped, unable to take a full breath. Her nose dripped on their black suit jacket, but she didn’t care. She just didn’t care about anything anymore.
When the mechanical sounds stopped, and the caskets reached the bottom, Alyssa lost her will to live, her knees buckling and her mind shattering. All interest in life gone, she gave in to the blinding darkness and let go.
Someone lifted Alyssa, carrying her to the limousine, holding her the whole way home, while Granny sat in silence. Blind to the world around her, Alyssa still felt nothing, cared for nothing as her soul seemed to drift away, left behind with her parents’ bodies.
All Alyssa thought about was her parents lying in the ground. Her eyes seeing nothing but caskets, dirt, and satin lining, with her vivid imagination playing visions of lying in a grave, dirt falling onto her paralyzed body. She barely noticed that someone had carried her into the house and up to her bed, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Why bother? Nothing matters anymore.
After a while, her dark grave morphed into lavender painted walls, and the falling dirt faded away. She began to notice details around her, the pink, lace curtains hanging limp over her bedroom window, the bed still unmade from that morning. The lights were off, but gloomy daylight filtered in enough for her to notice someone sitting in a chair next to her bed.
Kayn.
Alyssa blinked her eyes several times, trying to regain focus, wondering how she got to her bedroom from the cemetery. Wasn’t she just there a second ago watching her parents being lowered into the ground? Oh, God.
“Are you well?” Kayn’s baritone voice softly filled the room.
“I, uh, I think so. Did you carry me home?”
“Yes. You were quite upset. I was worried.”
Alyssa attempted to reconcile this caring, concerned Kayn with the murderous alien leader she now believed him to be.
“Thank you for your help. I’m sorry I fell apart.”
“It is fine, my dear. You have good reason for your despair. Do you need anything? Should I get you a drink?”
“No, I think I’m okay. Is everyone downstairs?”
“Not yet. The funeral director asked that you have an hour to compose yourself and for your Grandmother to prepare for guests.”
“Oh no! Granny! How is she?”
“She was fine when I left her to come sit with you.”
“I should go help her. I can’t believe I’m here wallowing in my grief.”
“If you think you can make it, I will escort you downstairs.”
“Thank you, Kayn.” Alyssa took his hand as he pulled her up from the bed.
Grateful, Alyssa let him take her arm and help her down the stairs. At the bottom, Kayn kissed her forehead and strode into the living room as Alyssa watched him go, puzzled by how anyone could be so treacherous yet so kind.
As she turned toward the kitchen, she noticed Kayn’s snot-covered jacket, suddenly aware of how awful she must look, and dashed to the bathroom to fix her face, splashing a little bit of cold water on her red cheeks. With a fistful of tissues, Alyssa smoothed her blouse and skirt before going to check on Granny.
***
Humans and Szu’Kara filled the entire downstairs. Every available table overflowed with food that Alyssa and Granny made, as well as casseroles and desserts brought by guests. Alyssa welcomed the distraction of the visitors.
Having briefly spoken to everyone she could think of, Alyssa hovered over Granny in the kitchen with Jess and Kora until Granny shooed her away, yet again, looking sad and irritated. She noticed an annoyed smile on the old woman’s face when she turned away. She must be happy for the distraction as well.
“I’m glad you came, Kora.”
“Me too. I was kind of surprised when Sen agreed to come.”
“Were you at the cemetery? Tell me you didn’t see the spectacle I made of myself?”
“Uh, no...” Kora scrunched her face in concern. “Sen didn’t think that would be appropriate since we didn’t know your parents.”
“That’s a relief. I would hate for him to get that impression of me.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad…” Kora said, the corners of her mouth curling up.
“It was,” Jess said, being ever so helpful. “She was a full-blown mess, but I would be too if that were my parents. I don’t even want to think about that.”
“Yes, well, hopefully I won’t have any more breakdowns like that.”
“You’re entitled to a few breakdowns, girl.” Jess put an arm around Alyssa’s shoulders, giving a reassuring squeeze.
“I know. You’re right. I just hate losing control like that. I’ve got to keep a handle on myself, especially now.”
“Why now? You need to give yourself some time to grieve. Don’t swallow it down and hold it all in. That’s not good for you, my friend.”
“That’s right, baby girl.” Granny waved a damp sponge at Alyssa. “You’ve got nowhere to go and no one to impress, right now. You’re going to stay here and mourn—in peace.”
Granny gave her a knowing look, causing her to blush. After everything, Alyssa desperately needed to talk to Jess about the coalition and Kayn, and if it wouldn’t put her friend in danger, she’d haul her upstairs to spill everything that second. Unfortunately, that was a terrible idea.
Several hours later, evening had set in and most of the guests had left. Alyssa sat with Granny in the living room while Jess, Kora, and the remaining guests cleaned up the food and dishes. Neither of them would have to cook a meal for at least two weeks with all the leftovers stored in the fridge and freezer.
“It was a good turnout, huh, Granny?”
“Yes, it was, baby girl, and I’m exhausted. I think I might sleep for a week.”
“Me, too. Not sure I’ll be able to though, you know.”
“Why?” Kayn appeared, startling them both.
“Oh, uh, you know...” Alyssa stuttered, wringing her hands. “Grief, crying, and emotional outbursts will probably keep me awake for a while.”
“Come. Sit with me on the porch. We can talk.”
“Sure. Granny, you going to be okay?”
“Yes. Go, sit with Kayn. I’m going to bed. I’m done with this day.”
Alyssa hugged Granny then followed Kayn to the porch, sl
ipping into their jackets on the way out since the rainy evening had a biting chill. When they each had chosen a rocking chair, Jess appeared at the door wearing a tired smile.
“Did Kora and Sen make it out okay?”
“Yep.” Jess gave a slow exaggerated nod, smirking. “That Sen, he’s a-something.”
“Yes, he is...” Alyssa agreed whole-heartedly, looking at Kayn to gauge his reaction. “Quite the sourpuss. I’m thankful my Kayn here isn’t like that.”
She winked at him and he smiled back with that arrogant face she used to melt for.
“Well, I’m out of here. Lorn’s waiting in the car.”
“Thanks, Jess. I’m so grateful to have such an amazing best friend. Please tell Lorn I said thank you.”
“I will. Bye, you two.”
“Bye.” Alyssa watched Jess bound off the stairs and into the dreary night.
She gazed out at the dark, lost in thought, trying to avoid thinking about her parents, but unable to stop the visions of them flashing in her minds-eye. Looking over at Kayn, she contemplated his features. He appeared so calm and collected, not like a cold-blooded killer…
“Are you feeling better?”
“As better as I’m going to get for now, but there’s probably going to be lots of ups and downs for a while.”
“Mm, I would imagine so.”
“Do you remember your parents dying, Kayn?”
“Yes, although they both passed a long time ago.”
“Were you on a planet or in space?”
“We were on a planet. My mother died in childbirth. I should have had a younger brother of my bloodline. My father died in an uprising on a different planet, many years later.”
“An uprising? Does that happen much?”
“Only when the species is young and undeveloped, as they do not always understand our intentions.”
“Your intentions to save them?”
“Of course. They did not have a spoken language. They lived by instinct. Unfortunately, their instinct directed them to fight us as we were strange to them and they mistook our ships for giant predators.”
“Interesting... But humans—we’re unique, right?”
“Humans are more advanced than all the other species we have encountered, yes.”
“Then why—” Alyssa snapped her mouth shut.
“Why what?”
“Never mind. Have you thought about your role in our child’s life?”
“Yes, but I have not yet come to a decision.”
“Hmm, I see.”
They sat there in silence for several minutes. Alyssa watched the rain drizzle down from the dark sky, the raindrops pelting the tin roof and creating a somber sound, lulling her into a daze. Kayn’s hand on her face jolted her back to awareness.
“You are beautiful, my dear. I am terribly sorry for your loss. I wish I could spare you this grief.”
She gazed into his golden eyes, wishing like hell she could believe even one word Kayn had just spoken, realizing she no longer trusted him. This alien she had cared for, crushed on, and even loved at times, had taken away two huge pieces of her soul. What he’d done… unforgivable.
Tears formed in her eyes as she leaned into his hand, savoring the feel of his fingers and hating them at the same time, turning away before the hatred could spill out.
“May I have a kiss before I leave, my dear?”
Shoving the anger away, Alyssa nodded and stood up to kiss him. She couldn’t let him see her feelings for him had changed, and thankfully, most of her emotions could be brushed off as part of the mourning process.
Kayn pulled her in tight against his chest, touching his lips to hers, hot breath warming them. He placed one hand at the back of her head and she felt the strength in his fingers, strength enough to break her neck in an instant.
Alyssa gasped, suddenly choking on fear. She kept her eyes closed and shuddered, wondering if she could break out of his hold should he try to harm her, although he must have mistaken the shuddering for excitement.
Pressing on the back of her head, Kayn plunged his tongue deep into her mouth, Alyssa forcing herself to kiss him back, to hide her fear and disgust. She wrapped her arms around his waist, pretending with all her might to enjoy this contact with him, trying not to gag.
Finally, he let her go, and she sucked in big gulps of air, concealing her fisted hands behind her back. Kayn stared at her for a minute, two minutes, then turned abruptly and marched down the stairs as Alyssa watched him disappear in the rain, rage simmering in her belly.
Chapter 12
Alyssa spent the next couple of weeks in quiet seclusion, reading in bed or curled up on the sofa. Granny attempted to cheer her up on several occasions with little success.
Gradually, she started to pull herself out of the murk, joining Granny for a few meals, and sometimes, watching broadcasts with her. The first time she laughed after the funeral was during a broadcast from New York. The reporter had been going on and on about the same thing, and Granny got real irritated, fussing about ‘useless nonsense.’
When the old woman began yammering about ‘the good ol’ days’ with ‘cable channels’ and her ‘soaps’, Alyssa burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter until tears poured down her cheeks. Granny clamped her mouth shut, glaring at Alyssa, but eventually giving in with her own belly laughs.
Three weeks after the funeral, Jordan called, which shocked Alyssa. The only people who’d called her recently were Jess, Kora, and Kayn. Jess was always exuberantly cheerful, while talking to Kora was sort of awkward, but still welcome. Calls from Kayn were strained, and most often, when Granny tried to hand her the phone, she waved it away.
“Hey, Jordan,” Alyssa said, attempting to sound upbeat. “Haven’t heard from you in a while.”
“Yeah, we’ve been giving you space, you know.” Jordan was silent for a beat. “Bas wanted to wait for you to call us. Doesn’t want to force you into a decision.”
“Well, I really appreciate it. I haven’t been avoiding you guys or anything. It’s just been a rough time for me. I hope you understand.”
“Sure, sure. I wouldn’t have called you now, but something’s come up.”
“What’s going on?”
“Bas wants to schedule a meeting for tomorrow morning. You free?”
“Yeah. I guess I can get myself out of bed at a decent time, for once. Maybe even take a shower.” Alyssa chuckled at herself.
“That bad, huh?”
“Mm hmm.”
“Eight o’clock sound good?”
“Sounds fine to me.”
Alyssa hung up and decided to go to bed early as she still felt worn down with a sadness that weighed on her like a lead blanket. Maybe things with the coalition would take her mind off her parents.
***
“Should I be preparing for more terrifying images?”
Alyssa hugged herself as she and Jordan rushed through the halls of the coalition headquarters.
“No, nothing like that,” he said. “It’s most likely going to be a strategy meeting.”
“How can I help with strategy? My skills are limited to filing papers and sending email.”
“You know more than that, you just don’t realize it yet. But, no, you’re not here for that. Bas wants you to know what’s going on so you can be prepared for what might happen.”
“Okay, that’s only a little vague.” Alyssa snorted.
“Sorry,” Jordan said with an apologetic smile, not at all like his usual goofy grin. “You’ll find out soon enough.”
“Fine.”
They barged into the usual conference room where Sebastian stood sentinel at the whiteboard, scowling and scrumptious. The lock of white hair at his widow’s peak curved down over his forehead, brushing the top of his scarred eyebrow, and when he caught sight of her, the scowl melted away into a lopsided grin. Alyssa blushed, giving a small wave.
Noticing the other people in the room, Alyssa glanced around to see mostly familia
r faces watching her and Sebastian. Jordan cleared his throat and pulled out a chair for her, next to Lorn.
“Hey, Lorn. Shar, Nait, Cecily, it’s nice to see some familiar faces. Anyone else coming?”
“This is it, for now. You know everyone here, except Z.” Sebastian gestured to a woman sitting next to Nait, the same woman Alyssa had seen in the cafeteria. “Alyssa, this is Zirena. I’d hoped to introduce you last time you were here, privately, so you’d have a chance to talk, but you got sick, and I didn’t want to put anything else on your plate. How are you feeling?”
“I’ve been better. Sorry I haven’t been around.”
“That’s okay, we were fully prepared to let you have time to mourn. I apologize for calling you back so soon, but I thought this was too important to leave you out.”
“What’s the deal?”
Lorn’s hands fluttered in distress. “Alyssa, dear, the radicals are planning to attack the compound. They want to kill the mothers. You are in danger.”
“That’s who you were telling me about—the radicals?” Alyssa asked, turning to Sebastian.
“Yes. We’ve received some new intel about the radicals’ plans to attack the prenatal unit on the compound. They want to eliminate all half-breeds, even the unborn ones. Apparently, they think this attack will send a message to the Szu’Kara.”
“How will they get in? The security is tight. We have several patrols and guard posts, an electrified fence, and extra guards at the front gate. The med pod isn’t all that close to the fence, either.”
“We’re not sure how they plan to get in.” Sebastian paced in front of the whiteboard. “Our goal is to prevent the attack or get the women out and placed somewhere safe.”
“I really don’t see any way for you to get to the women. I’m the only one they let off the compound without permission, and that’s because I have Granny. Plus, Kayn favors me, so...”
“That is as I was saying,” Shar said, grabbing Alyssa’s attention. “The women are kept on the compound at all times. It is my understanding they are monitored by their mates. Everything they need can be supplied by the commissary or the cafeteria. Everything else is brought in by delivery.”
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