He sounded miserable and felt awful having to tell his friend he could not go save his wife. “We can’t invade Embriel. We’ll end up fighting a war on two fronts and we can’t even fight the one at our doorstep now. Andrzej will march his army straight at us as soon as we cross the river.”
Never a big drinker, Zaraki felt the wine loosening his tongue. He wanted to tell them all he did not care, did not care about being king or politics or what any of them thought. At least he still had enough sense left to him to keep it all to himself. Instead, he said, “What good is an army if it can’t save her?” Heartbroken, he looked around the table. Shocked, horrified faces met his eyes.
“We’ve not giving up,” Aniska assured him. “We have to wait and see what Lukas wants. He took her for a reason. He’ll contact us.” It sounded like a convincing lie, and she could see he barely heard her anyway.
Standing up, Zaraki made his way to the door on unsteady legs.
“I need you to stay within the castle walls, all right?” Aniska called out after him, thinking of all the ways he could find to get himself killed over this. “And be inside the castle before dark.”
Zaraki froze with his hand on the door handle. He started to turn around and tell her to go to hell, that he did not need her to tell him to behave. His anger felt misplaced, but still he opened the door and made a show of turning right. Left would take him up to his apartments. The other direction led to the courtyard.
“Be gentle,” Symon said when he had gone. Her orders seemed harsh.
Shaking her head, Aniska wished they could understand. “I don’t have time to worry about this. I need him to stay out of my way and let me do my job.”
“He’s not going to do anything tonight.” When she looked doubtful, Symon continued, “He’s in shock, hungry, and exhausted, with two glasses of wine in him. He’d be unconscious before he could get a horse saddled,” he explained.
An hour later, Ani found Zaraki passed out in Capar’s stall. She thought about dragging him to his feet and taking him back to his rooms, but then she imagined what he might say to her with no one else to hear. Would he rage and blame her? Could she stand in the face of his accusations and anguish? She hated herself for her cowardice.
Back inside the castle, she sent two servants to help their king into bed.
***
By the next morning, shock, anger and outrage echoed through the halls of Cheylm as people heard the news. Shouts and cries for revenge rose, while outside the walls the army seethed, mourning the death of thirty men.
Ani spent the day sequestered in her rooms, dispatching every agent she could find. They left for Embriel to spy on Andrzej and discover what he knew. Others rode west, fanning out to watch for any signs the Deojrin might be involved in this. She guessed Eamon had survived and would arrive soon, but sent a few men to search Lukas’s camp just in case.
Once she ran out of things to keep busy with, the guilt and blame arrived. Lunch passed by and despite her hunger, Aniska could not bring herself to go downstairs. Compromised. The word kept rolling around her head as she sat staring out the window. As much as she tried to deny it, she felt hopelessly compromised.
Two years ago when she took this position from Zaraki, she knew it violated the spirit of her oaths. And like her friend when he fell in love, she imagined she would manage it. She tried to hold herself apart from Leisha, Andelko, and Symon, tried to maintain some distance to preserve her objectivity, but she had failed at that as well. Over the course of their time together, she had allowed Leisha to draw her into the family she created. Now that family was threatened, and Aniska could no longer separate herself from them.
***
Leisha heard herself moan as she tried to roll over. Her body ached and her head felt heavy and muddled. It reminded her of the only hangover she had ever experienced, the morning after her wedding, and it was unpleasant.
“Shit, she’s waking up.” She knew that voice but did not expect to hear it.
“They told us she’d wake up every eight hours. This is normal, Lorant.” Lukas sounded peevish and exasperated.
Swallowing hard, she opened her eyes. How was it possible to be this thirsty?
A strange sound intruded—a slow, rhythmic click click click. Turning her head, Leisha caught sight of a small clock on a shelf across the room. With effort, she matched the sound she heard with the movement of the crown wheel as it regulated the timepiece.
She tried to say, “Lukas? What’s going on?” but the words came out a croak, jumbled and slurred. The clock continued filling the silence as both men ignored her question.
Bending over to peer at the face of the timepiece, Lorant scowled. “It’s almost time. Hurry and give her more before she wakes up enough to kill us.”
Lukas turned around, looking annoyed with his friend. “Settle down. The drug keeps her from doing anything like that for another hour or so. Didn’t you listen? Von was very clear about how these worked.”
He held up a small, yellow flower and then placed it in his palm. Leisha dimly remembered another one, from earlier. “No,” she moaned. Gerolt. She had been kidnapped and now they were going to turn her to over to Gerolt.
Horror stabbed at her, urging her to action, to fight, to run. Frantically, she reached out to kill Lukas, to stop his heart and save herself. Nothing answered her call, she felt no trace of her gifts, only a dreadful silence. Panic seized hold of her. Her hands flailed, trying to strike him, but Lorant grabbed her wrists and squeezed, crushing the bones together until she cried out.
“This will be easier if you don’t fight,” Lukas said. When she refused to cooperate, he grabbed her chin in one hand to keep her head still and pressed the thumb on his other hand into her jaw hinge, forcing her mouth open again. He dropped the flower in and made sure it sat under her tongue.
“At least I’m getting better at this,” he told Lorant, holding his hand over her nose and mouth until she stopped struggling.
Falling back into the blackness, Leisha remembered the tent and the soldiers rushing in, weapons drawn. She remembered Ani and Zaraki escaping and held fast to the memory. They didn’t kill him. No matter what else happened, she had to remember that. He was alive and he would save her.
Blindness
Two days after the kidnapping, Aniska heard a knock at her door and found Eamon standing there. Covered head to toe in dirt and exhausted, he looked like hell. “Are you all right?” she asked, relieved to see him alive.
The young man nodded. “I saw it all, and I know where they took her,” he said mournfully.
“Come with me. We’ll get you food and you can give us your report.”
They found Symon and Andelko sitting together in the library as servants brought breakfast. Zaraki had come down and stood looking out a window, into the courtyard. When he turned and caught site of Eamon, Ani saw desperate hope in his eyes.
“Eat,” Andelko commanded, pushing a bowl of porridge across the table.
Eamon collapsed in a chair, looking like he might topple over at any moment. When he tried to talk around a mouthful of food, Symon told him to finish eating first.
With his bowl cleaned, Eamon drew a slow breath. Closing his eyes, he recited his neatly ordered memories. “I heard the fighting start and kept out of sight. I could see our men were outnumbered and I think they were drugged. They could barely fight back. As soon as they were all dead, I saw the prince and Lord Lorant come out of the tent with the queen. She was unconscious. They got on horses, Prince Lukas took the king’s, and they rode east with a large escort. I followed them to a small keep, dead easy to find. When I was riding back, I almost ran into the rest of the prince’s men, headed to the keep, I’m guessing.” He rattled off facts just as Cezar trained him, just as Zaraki or Aniska might.
“What about the keep?” Andelko asked.
“It’s on the main road. Several smaller roads lead to it, too. Likely an old custom house, but it does have a wall and a large courtya
rd. I didn’t stay long enough to know how many men it could hold. Oh, I did kill a scout I found riding the queen’s horse. I left her with the first patrol when I switched horses on my way back.”
Ani rubbed at her tired eyes, trying to picture the keep as Eamon described and memorize his words. She looked up and said, “Excellent work. Thank you. You did exactly what I expected. Go to bed. I’m sure I’ll need you back out soon.”
Once he left, Zaraki looked bereft. “I don’t understand. How is he keeping her there? Why didn’t she just kill them and escape?”
“I don’t know. Maybe they’re drugging her? I think Eamon’s right about what happened to our men. The flower in my cup was there for a reason.” Aniska cursed herself again for not reacting faster that day. If only.
Andelko said what they all thought. “Lukas will never open those gates now. He knows he’s safe in there.”
“What do we do?” Zaraki demanded. Somehow, he had imagined Eamon’s return would solve this, but now he knew where Lukas had taken Leisha and nothing more. “How do we get her back?” he asked, feeling frantic as his self-control slipped away.
“Please, let me handle this,” Ani said, trying to sound reasonable. It had been a mistake to let him sit in on this.
“Don’t dismiss me,” Zaraki snapped. “What does that mean? What are you going to do?”
Andelko saw the two Ostravan working themselves up and decided to put a stop to it. “Everyone, settle down. We all have things to attend to. Let’s think about what Eamon’s told us and come back together this afternoon.”
As they all stood to leave, Andelko hung back, wanting to catch Ani alone. Yesterday, she had managed to avoid him, slipping away any time he tried to talk to her. This time, he caught her eye, but she ducked her head and followed Eamon out the door.
***
Late in the afternoon, Ani watched as Zaraki wandered out the wicket gate and into the courtyard, lost and inconsolable. With him occupied, she felt ready to face this part and went in search of Symon and Andelko. She found them both together, huddled over a desk in the library, working on requests for supplies.
“I spent most of last night and all morning thinking. We all know how this is going to play out,” she began, sounding more confident than she felt. “Lukas isn’t going to contact us. We have nothing to offer him. He’s going to negotiate with Gerolt, probably to get Lorant’s lands back.”
Both men nodded sadly.
“That leaves us with rescue as our only option. I can put one together, but it’s going to take me a couple of days. We’ll probably only have one chance at this, and I have to get this right.”
Andelko looked ready to commit murder. “I’ve sent every man we have out. I’ve also sent people out to buy any available horses in the area so we can put more patrols out there. If Lukas tries to get through, we’ll find them. Tell me what else you need from me, Ani,” he said fiercely.
“More time,” she lamented. “I need time to think this through. This isn’t something I’ve spent a great deal of time learning about.”
“Hopefully, they’ll be smart and just lock themselves away in the keep for a while,” Symon said. “It makes the most sense considering they fled away from the river. We should have a few days unless they’re well organized, and I’ve never known that to be the case with Lukas.”
“So we’re in agreement? We’ll attempt a rescue and you want me to do it?” Ani asked, hating the hesitation she heard in her voice.
Andelko frowned, wondering who else she imagined they would send. “Of course it’s you. There’s no one else we would trust with this. Go and save her.”
“All right. I’ll start hashing out a plan and have something by tomorrow afternoon. Can we all agree to keep Zaraki in the dark? I can’t have him trying to come with me. Let’s keep up the lie Lukas will contact us.”
“I’m not sure I like lying to him,” Symon said, looking uncomfortable. “He should stay here, but he could help you.”
“No,” she snapped. “He’s compromised. He can’t think straight. I don’t need to deal with that headache now.”
“Ani, keeping him in the dark is only going to make him more frantic,” Symon said.
She closed her eyes, knowing she did not want to argue about it. These were lessons she learned as a child in Ostrava, things Cezar taught them about how to handle these exact sorts of situations. Be objective, avoid emotions, and steer clear of those who could not do the same. She had never faced anything like this and had to rely on something. “I’m doing my best, but I can’t worry about him right now. You know he’ll want to come, and I can’t have that.” Pushing back her chair, she started for the door.
“You’re underestimating him, Aniska,” Symon called out as she left. The door slammed behind her. “Gods, they’re both so stubborn.”
“They deserve each other.” Andelko sounded tired and annoyed. He counted the two spies as his dearest friends, but gods above their bickering infuriated him.
Symon scrubbed his hands over his face. With Leisha gone, this fell to him, and he hated it. However, someone had to think of her crown and her kingdom if she was not here to do so. “There’s something else. If we don’t save her, Zaraki can’t hold the throne. The lords will never follow him. He’s a foreigner and a commoner.” He did not need to mention Zaraki would likely not stay with them if Leisha died. “That leaves the army. Andelko, you’re the natural choice. The soldiers will follow you into the sea.”
The big man looked up, fury written across his face. Everyone around him had gone mad. “And I’m telling you the same thing I told her at Savne,” he said angrily, pointing a finger at Symon. “We’re not having this goddamned discussion. Don’t bring it up again,” he demanded.
Symon grimaced, unaware Leisha had already talked to Andelko about this. Of course, none of them wanted to consider anything other than a positive outcome. But this needed to be done, to protect her legacy if nothing else. “Please, Andelko, try to be reasonable. It’s hard for all of us, but we—”
“No. You have no idea how I feel or how hard this is for me.” The Lord Constable shoved his chair back from the table and stalked from the room without another word.
***
Ani sighed and stretched, reaching her arms over her head as she tried to work the knots from her shoulders. Hours spent bent over her desk had not produced anything useful. She had started assembling the bare bones of a rescue but felt no confidence in her plans. Looking at her notes and drawings, she rubbed at tired eyes and admitted to herself she needed help. Tomorrow, she would talk to Andelko.
Before crawling into bed, Aniska went in search of Zaraki, to make sure he had not decided to do anything foolish. She found him as he crept upstairs through a doorway leading into one of the small, formal sitting rooms ringing the second floor. With the door cracked open, she saw him pull a chair over and sit staring out a window.
She intended to turn the watch over to Vledmir, the young man selected to be Zaraki’s new shadow. But seeing her dearest friend sitting alone and bereft, head in his hands, it shattered her. In the moonlight, he looked so lost, and she saw the little boy who wept for his parents. She should never have looked, she knew. It clouded her objectivity.
Without warning, Ani wanted to go to him, to throw herself at his feet and beg him for forgiveness. Anything to take away the burning guilt and shame that ate away at her. She had failed Leisha and Zaraki both, and now both would pay the price. He had given her the thing he treasured most in life, and she lost it.
I lost her.
Her hands balled into fists and she felt tears for the first time in years. Trying to hold them at bay, she put her back against the wall next to the door and slid silently to the floor. What about your objectivity? she raged, mocking herself. You have no right to pity. You failed. All those years of training, everything she ever did led to the moment when Leisha collapsed to the ground. She tried to muffle the sound of her crying with a hand pressed to her
mouth.
Hours later, Symon paced through the dimly lit hallways unable to sleep and unwilling to spend any more time staring at his own walls. His heart ached when he found Ani, exhausted and wrung out, still sitting on the floor in the hallway with her head resting on her knees. He reached out to stroke her hair and she jerked her head up, clearly unhappy to be found this way. Without asking, he offered her his hand and helped her to her feet. He paused only to peek through the small crack at Zaraki, and then Symon steered her back to her room.
When they reached it, he put hands on both her shoulders. “Aniska, look at me. You’ll find a way to get her back. I know you will. There’s no one else who can do this but you.” For the first time ever, Symon hugged her, pulling her into a fierce, protective embrace while biting back the rest of the words that howled for release. Save them, Ani, he wanted to say. Save my children. I love them. She did not need to hear.
***
In the morning, Aniska found herself standing outside Andelko’s door, trying to find the courage to knock. Despite his words the day before, she wondered if he had lost his trust in her. She hated feeling like this and hated knowing Cezar had been right. By breaking her oaths and becoming so close to everyone here, she compromised her ability to think and do her job. She feared facing their recriminations, and that fear paralyzed her.
You have a damn job to do, she reminded herself. As much as she wanted to avoid him, she needed to talk over her plans with someone. She needed Zaraki and longed for his comfort and his advice, but how could she ask for either when she was the cause of his misery? She tapped on Andelko’s door, and when he did not answer, she knocked again, hearing movement inside this time.
Finally, the door swung open and he stood there, dressed only in trousers and looking bleary-eyed and half-asleep still. She felt foolish and embarrassed. “I’m sorry to bother you. It’s too early. I’ll come back.”
Before she could turn away, Andelko reached out and took her by the elbow, propelling her into his rooms. He shut the door and pushed her towards the chairs he kept near the fireplace. “Ani, sit. I’m sorry. I should have come to you sooner, but I’m not a very good friend.”
As Dragons from Sleep (The Tahaerin Chronicles Book 2) Page 20
