by Beth Merlin
“I’m gonna be sick, Gigi,” she said, leaning against the backstage railing.
“You’ll be fine, sweetie. Just take a few deep breaths,” I said, rubbing her back. “They’re calling for you. Break a leg, or whatever people say.” I pushed her toward the stage.
Hannah looked up, took a deep breath, and then stepped onto the stage, where she sang a flawless rendition of ‘Far From the Home I Love.’ When the song was over, the show’s director gave her a standing ovation, and we both knew she’d gotten the part.
“I think it went well,” she shrieked as she ran toward me.
“You were fantastic,” I answered.
“That means I have a shot, right?”
“You have more than a shot. It’s in the bag,” I said, hugging her.
“I really hope so.” Hannah squealed and went running to her friends.
I walked down to where the director and assistant director for the show were sitting and taking notes about the auditions and introduced myself.
“I’m Gigi, head counselor of Cedar,” I said extending my hand.
“Hi, I’m Jackie, and this is Davis,” a woman close to my mother’s age, with a British accent, answered and introduced her counterpart, a twenty-something guy.
“I’m really in awe of this location,” I said, looking around. “I don’t know if you’ve given any thought to the costumes, but I had a few ideas. Do you know the Marc Chagall painting that people say inspired the show? Maybe you could start there. The colors are amazing. So vivid and beautiful. They’re really different than the dull grays and browns people expect.”
“To be honest, Gigi, we hadn’t really given the costumes much thought. Usually, the campers just provide their own. We make do. Thanks for the suggestion, though,” Jackie responded, barely looking up from her clipboard before walking away.
“Do you have any experience with costume design?” Davis asked.
“A little. I was on this reality show where one of the challenges was to design a costume for the Broadway revival of Cats. They ended up using mine for the show.”
Davis’s whole face lit up. “That’s why you look so familiar. You were on Top Designer?”
“I was, yeah.”
“What was that guy’s name? The one who got kicked off first with that toilet paper wedding dress challenge? I always felt really bad for him.”
“Oh, my friend, Jamie. He’s a good guy and a great designer, actually.”
“Look, I’ll talk to Jackie. Maybe we can find some budget for costumes, especially if I tell her we have a celebrity in our ranks.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but it was too late. He was already rushing off to speak with her.
After dinner, the girls made a beeline for the shower house. The cabin was chaotic as they got dressed, borrowing each other’s clothes and drying their hair with the one hairdryer that didn’t blow our fuses. The room was buzzing with excitement as the girls chatted away about which guys were “hot,” which were “not,” and everyone in between. Tara confessed her not-so-secret crush on Perry, and Emily Z announced to anyone who would listen that she was making a play for one of the more popular guys in Birch, Alex Shane.
“That’s enough, girls,” Jordana chimed in after Tara started detailing her make-out session with one of the other CITs the night before. Tara shot Jordana a dirty look and lowered her voice to finish telling the story.
“Seriously, Tara. Not appropriate,” Jordana said, crossing her arms over her chest.
I chimed in. “Let’s keep the talk G-rated, okay, ladies?” I picked up my clipboard and headed out of the bunk for roll call.
The girls came rushing out of their cabins, freshly showered and wearing their cutest outfits. I saw more designer labels than I was used to seeing at some of the trendiest bars in Manhattan. After spending the better part of the last hour organizing the line for the showers in order to avoid fights, I’d had no time to shower myself. I felt pretty gross from the day and even grimier seeing them in their chic ensembles.
“Hi, girls, you all look very nice,” I said, peering over my clipboard. “Tonight’s our first activity with Birch, the Dating Game. I need some volunteers to be the bachelorettes.”
Very few hands went up in the air. The game show was a little before their time, and they didn’t want to sign up for something they didn’t understand. After I laid out the rules of the game, a few more hands shot up.
“There’s also going to be a counselors’ round, so I need a few volunteers for that,” I added.
Tara’s was the only hand that went up. “Okay, I’ll just pick the campers for now and worry about the counselors later.”
I randomly chose a few of the girls to participate in the game and led the rest of Cedar to Lakeside Rec to meet up with Birch. As we filed into the room, I was disappointed that Perry’s boys were already seated and waiting for us. He was such a show-off, trying to get under my skin by highlighting just how well behaved his group was. Unfortunately, after the day I’d just had, he succeeded. I marched up to him. “You win. Your boys are angels.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Perry said, shrugging his shoulders.
He’d apparently had time to shower and freshen up after dinner and looked great in dark jeans and a fitted T-shirt. He smelled even better. I, on the other hand, was in the same exact army fatigue shorts and black tank top he’d seen me in this morning.
“Oh, come off of it,” I spat back at him.
“Is that an American expression like whatever?” he teased.
“No, but this is,” I said, sticking my middle finger up at him. I hadn’t flipped anyone off since I was twelve, but it felt good.
“I just cannot believe you just flipped me off. Are you seven years old?”
“Can we just get tonight over with?” I asked.
“Whatever,” he said, jumping onto the stage.
I made my way back over to where Cedar was seated and called out the names of the girls competing in Round One. “I need Emily Zegantz, Colleen Starston, and Laila Brownstein.”
Perry sidled up next to me and announced the bachelor for Round One. “I need Ben Lewin front and center.”
A tall, good-looking boy with a backward Yankees cap stood up. He was blindfolded, so Perry led him to a seat in front of the curtain on stage while I guided the three girls to their seats behind the curtain. Perry untied the blindfold and handed Ben a stack of index cards with questions on them.
“The basic rules of the game are as follows,” Perry said to the audience. “Our bachelor will ask a series of questions, and each of the bachelorettes will be given the opportunity to answer. Based on those answers, our lucky bachelor, Ben, will select one of the girls as his date.”
A few of the guys sitting in the front row snickered.
“Ready? Okay, let’s begin,” Perry said, transforming into a corny game show host. He put a clip-on bow tie over his T-shirt and even had the American accent down. “Ben, why don’t you tell our studio audience a little bit about yourself?”
Ben looked embarrassed. “My name’s Ben Lewin, I’m thirteen years old, from White Plains, New York. I like the Yankees, and I’m not sure what else to say…” He looked to Perry for help.
“What’s your favorite activity at camp, Ben?” Perry asked.
“I like the Jet Skis,” he answered.
“Great. Now let’s meet the ladies,” Perry said, turning his attention to the other side of the curtain. “Bachelorette Number One, why don’t you tell us your favorite activity at camp?”
Silence.
“Bachelorette Number One?” Perry repeated.
“Emily, that’s you,” I said, tapping the back of her chair.
“Oh, hi. I’m Bachelorette Number One,” she answered in a way too mature-sounding voice. “My favorite activity at camp is gymnastics.”
“Thank you, Bachelorette Number One. Bachelorette Number Two?”
“I like arts and crafts,” Colle
en answered.
“And Bachelorette Number Three?” Perry asked.
Laila leaned forward. “I really like water skiing.”
“Fantastic. And now I’m going to turn over the microphone to our lucky bachelor, Ben,” Perry said, handing Ben the cardboard paper towel roll he was using as a microphone.
“This question is for Bachelorette Number Two,” Ben said softly.
“Can you speak up?” I shouted from behind the girls’ side of the curtain. “It’s not a real microphone.”
“This is a question for Bachelorette Number Two,” Perry shouted back.
“Bachelorette Number Two, if you were an animal, what animal would you be and why?” Ben asked.
I rolled my eyes. Could the question have been cornier? Perry was responsible for writing the questions for the guys’ round, and I was responsible for the questions for the counselor round. It was clear how little time he’d spent on his.
“I would be a butterfly,” Colleen answered.
“Bachelorette Number Three?”
“A dolphin,” Laila replied.
“Bachelorette Number One,” Ben continued, “same question.”
“I would be a cougar. No explanation needed,” Emily replied quickly.
The boys applauded.
“Next question,” Perry interjected.
Ben cleared his throat. “Bachelorette Number One, compare yourself to a movie star. Who do you most resemble?”
“Angelina Jolie,” Emily shot back. “We both have seductive lips.”
The boys cheered at her response.
“Let’s tone it down a bit,” I said.
“Number Two?” Ben asked, his voice cracking.
“Umm, maybe Emma Stone,” Colleen answered.
“And Number Three, same question?” Ben asked.
Laila was quiet for a few seconds and then said, “Taylor Swift.”
The boys all cheered again.
“This will be the final question before our bachelor, Ben, chooses a date,” Perry announced, still using the corny game show host voice.
Ben read off the final index card. “Bachelorette Number Three, can you describe your perfect date?”
“Dinner and a movie,” Laila answered
“Bachelorette Number Two?”
“Taking a late afternoon hike and then watching the sunset together,” Colleen said.
“Number One, same question.”
Terrified of what was going to come out of Emily’s mouth, I jumped in before she could answer. “You know what,” I chimed in, “I think Ben has heard enough to make his decision. Why don’t we let him make his choice?”
“Okay, Ben, choose one of these lovely ladies as your date. You have a few seconds to think it over.” Perry hummed the music played during the final round of Jeopardy, and the rest of the room joined in. “Ben, we need an answer,” he said after some time had passed.
“Okay, I choose Bachelorette Number Three,” Ben answered awkwardly.
Perry applauded. “Ben, it’s time for you to meet the ladies you didn’t select. Please come around the curtain, Bachelorette Number One.”
Emily sauntered around the curtain, and Ben looked disappointed he hadn’t chosen her.
“Bachelorette Number Two,” Perry continued, “meet Ben Lewin.”
Colleen walked around, gave Ben a quick wave, and took her seat in the audience.
Perry handed me the cardboard paper towel roll. “Gigi, can you introduce us to Bachelorette Number Three?”
“Sure, Perry,” I said, mimicking his announcer voice. “Bachelorette Number Three hails from Wayne, New Jersey. She’s the captain of her school’s swim team, and this is her fourth summer at Camp Chinooka. Let’s have a big round of applause for Laila Brownstein.”
Laila awkwardly made her way around the curtain and gave Ben a hug. They both looked equally uncomfortable as they walked off the stage together.
“We’re going to take a short break, and then it’s time for the counselor round,” Perry informed everyone.
I walked off the stage to where the Cedar counselors had gathered.
“Okay. I need a counselor. Will anyone volunteer to be the bachelorette?” I asked.
Tara’s hand shot up again.
I scanned the rest of the counselors. “Really? Nobody else?”
It seemed Tara had begged, pleaded, or otherwise persuaded the other girls not to volunteer. “Jordana?”
“Just let Tara do it, Gigi. She’s being impossible,” Jordana replied.
“All right, Tara, you can be the bachelorette,” I said.
Tara looked ecstatic as I led her to the single chair on the far side of the curtain. I handed her the index cards with my questions and waited to see which male counselors she would be choosing from. Eric, the counselor who’d been sitting OD with Perry, took the first seat, a British counselor named Jon took the second seat, and unexpectedly, Perry took the third seat.
Ugh. What an opportunistic jerk. Did he have to chase every available girl on the campground? Since it was my turn to play the announcer, Perry handed me the clip-on bow tie, which I put over my tank top.
“Who’s ready for the all-exciting counselor round?” I asked in my best game show voice.
“You’ll have to speak up. That isn’t a real microphone, remember?” Perry shouted.
I raised my voice. “You know the rules. Our bachelorette will ask a series of questions to the three bachelors and then, based on their answers, pick her date. Let’s begin. Bachelorette, fire away.”
“Bachelor Number Two, what do you think is the most important technological advancement in world history?” Tara read off the first card.
“Gigi,” Tara whispered, “what kind of a question is that?”
“A great one,” I whispered back.
“Bachelor Number Two, your answer, please?” I asked.
“The iPhone. Mine’s awesome,” Jon answered.
“I’m sure,” I replied, rolling my eyes.
“Bachelor Number One, same question,” Tara instructed.
“Definitely has to be the airplane. I love to travel,” Eric answered.
“And Bachelor Number Three?” she asked.
“The printing press,” Perry answered. “Without a technology in place for the cheap mass production of books, the dissemination of ideas would have been virtually impossible, and our world would be a completely different place.”
“Bor-ing,” Tara whispered to me.
I was actually kind of impressed. It was a really well thought out answer.
“Okay, moving on,” Tara said impatiently, flipping to the next card. “Bachelor Number Three, who’s your hero?”
Tara rolled her eyes and gave me a look of disappointment. Obviously, she didn’t think the questions I’d come up with were scintillating enough.
“Mahatma Gandhi,” Perry replied.
“Great,” Tara replied, completely disinterested.
“Bachelor One, same question?”
“My mom,” Eric answered.
There was a collective “Awww” from the front row of girls.
“Bachelor Number Two?” Tara asked.
“David Beckham,” Jon answered.
“Awesome. Now on to the final question,” I said, trying to move the game along.
Tara read the card and looked up at me. “Gigi, this is supposed to be fun. We aren’t picking a president. I’m picking a date.”
Apparently, she didn’t like my final question asking the bachelors what they thought the biggest problem facing the Unites States was. She substituted her own instead.
“Okay, boys,” she said in her most innocent voice, “what would we do on our first date? Bachelor Number One, your answer?”
I was relieved that she didn’t take it somewhere raunchy.
“Take a day trip somewhere. Maybe apple picking or horseback riding,” Eric said.
Tara looked disappointed in his answer. “Number Two?”
Jon sat up in
his seat. “Going to a football match or pub to watch a game.”
Tara smiled. “Number Three?”
“First, I’d take her for a morning picnic in Regents Park, one of the prettiest parks in London. Then we’d walk along the park’s canals to the London Zoo. After that, we’d make our way to Little Venice, passing Browning’s Island, an island in the center of the canal named for the poet Robert Browning. We’d end our walk in Camden Lock Market, where we’d sip on hot chocolate. Then, later that night, I’d take her to the Whispering Gallery in St. Paul’s Cathedral. It’s a really special place. Anything whispered against its circular walls can be heard throughout the whole dome. I’d whisper to her, and everyone there could hear me say what an incredible day I’d had,” Perry answered.
I was fairly certain every girl in the room wanted to go to the Whispering Gallery with him. They were all gazing adoringly at Perry, who was oblivious to it.
“Tara, which lucky bachelor is it going to be?” I asked.
All the girls in the room shouted out their choices, the loudest vote going to Perry.
“I choose Bachelor Two,” she said confidently.
I was completely shocked she didn’t pick Perry, especially after all of the scheming she’d done. “Let’s meet the men Tara didn’t select. Bachelor Number One hails from New Haven, Connecticut, and is going into his sophomore year at the University of Connecticut. Eric Briggs, come meet Tara Mann,” I said.
All the guys stood up and cheered as Eric rounded the curtain to meet Tara. She looked slightly disappointed she hadn’t chosen him. He had a great athletic body, and considering we were barely into the summer, already had a fantastic tan.
I continued. “Bachelor Number Three comes all the way from London, England. He’s your favorite head counselor, Perry Gillman.”
Tara sighed deeply. Perhaps unable to distinguish one British accent from another, it seemed she’d mistaken Jon for Perry. Perry gave Tara a kiss on each cheek before walking off the stage. Tara looked shell-shocked and kept her hands on her cheeks as if she was terrified the kisses would somehow melt off.
