She wanted him to fold her into his arms, to hold her against his strength. She’d had to be the strong one for her mom, but now she felt depleted. He didn’t even touch her, but the softness, the caring, and concern in his gaze was almost an embrace.
“What now?” she asked.
“We’re bringing in the other family members. And we’ll collect the bodies.”
“Any charges?” She held her breath.
“For shooting you. Yes. For the murders, they’ll have to look at the evidence. But if it went down like your mother said, I doubt it.”
Tears watered down her vision and she remembered his own story of pain, regret, and guilt for something that wasn’t his fault. “And you thought you had a messed-up family.”
He half-grinned. “You know it wasn’t a competition.”
She nodded. “Can I take her to my house?”
“Let me make sure the DA doesn’t want to question her now, and if not, I’ll drive you.”
* * *
That night, Annie’s mom had been asleep for about an hour when a knock sounded on her door. She opened it and was instantly caught in Mark’s gaze.
“Your mom?” he asked.
“Asleep,” she said. He pulled her against his warmth. His scent filled the air and smelled like comfort, like peace. But his touch hurt like fire. An emotional burn. He released her, and they stared at each other.
So much needed to be said, but Annie didn’t have the energy now. Or was it that she didn’t know what to say? He had made it clear. I lived in that house with a white picket fence and two kids. A mom and a so-called dad. And it wasn’t pretty. She wanted all the things he couldn’t offer her.
Thankfully, she was going to have some time to figure it out.
“You want something to drink?”
“I’m fine. I wanted to bring you this.” He had her suitcase that she’d left at the hotel.
“Thanks.” She moved to the sofa and he followed. When he sank down into the cushions, her shoulder came against his. The physical contact sent another spark of pain.
“You going to be okay?” Gentleness sounded in his words.
“I feel raw right now,” she admitted. “And a little guilty for not being there more for Mom after my dad’s death. I didn’t realize how much she was hurting.”
“You didn’t know all this.” He brushed a strand of hair from her cheek.
“I know.” She lifted her eyes to his. “Neither did you.” Meaning that night years ago, when he’d gone to a party.
From the look in his eyes, he understood what she meant. “True.”
A crazy thought hit. She’d gone to him to help her find the truth. Because she believed knowing it would fix things. He hid from the truth, because he didn’t think they could be fixed. She wanted to show him they could, but her gut said he needed to figure that out for himself.
She ached to take his hand in hers, but she refrained. “I called and talked to my boss. They’re giving me some time off. Mom said she’s been thinking about moving into a retirement community, and I thought I’d help her look.”
He ran a hand over his brow. “For how long?”
“Two weeks or so.”
Her words hung in the silence. Finally, he spoke up. “If you’re moving her, I could help.”
His offer said a lot. Said he hadn’t given up on them. But what kind of them would they be? Her heart wanted to hope, to believe they could be each other’s north stars, but could someone who ran from commitment be her north star?
“I don’t think she’ll move yet. She’ll want to sell her house first.”
“When are you leaving?” he asked.
“Tomorrow, right after she speaks to the DA.”
“Two weeks is a long time,” he said. He took in a deep breath. “I’m going to miss you.”
Her heart dropped. “I’m going to miss you, too.”
He kissed her. A sweet good-bye kiss that brought tears to her eyes. Please let me be your north star. He stood up. She walked him to the door.
He touched her cheek. “When you get back, we should…talk.” He turned to leave.
She nodded. “Can you do me a favor?” she said, right before he walked out.
“What’s that?”
“Take that saxophone off the stand in your game room. And play it. You deserve to be happy. You do deserve music.”
He ran his thumb over her lip. “You don’t ask for small favors, do you?” He leaned in and kissed her again, then walked away.
She walked back to the sofa, dropped down on it, and cried.
* * *
Annie spent the first few days helping her mom clean out her father’s items. They both cried a little. She realized she and her mother had never really mourned together. It felt right.
At night, Annie missed Mark so much her toenails ached. Every night, she almost called him but decided the space might be what they needed.
Four days in, she and her mom were having breakfast at a diner. Her mom asked her, “Do you want to get married? Have kids?”
Annie set her coffee down.
“You don’t have to answer. And I’m not going to be upset if you say no. I’m just curious.”
“It’s okay,” Annie said. “Yeah, I want it. I just haven’t…found the right man yet.”
“Detective Sutton isn’t the right man?”
That was the first time her mom had brought up their relationship. The question sent all kinds of raw pain circling her heart. “I don’t know.”
Her mom stared down at her teacup. “Would you be upset if I dated?”
Annie’s mouth fell open. “No. Who is it?”
“I’m just talking what-ifs.” She looked away too quickly.
“No, you’re not.” Annie put her hand over her mom’s. “You deserve to be happy.”
She nodded and turned her cup. “The sheriff from Pearlsville. Every time I was around him, I found myself wanting to play with my hair.” She took a deep breath. “He called me last night and said he finds himself in Houston a lot and wanted to know if he could…call me.”
Annie’s smile widened. She’d been so afraid her mom would become a lonely recluse. “That’s great.” She squeezed her mom’s hand.
In such a short time, she and her mom had found this new place in a relationship. It wasn’t quite what she’d shared with her dad, but it was comfortable and good.
Fran called that afternoon and asked if they would come for a visit. The next morning, they drove up. Lily, Fran’s daughter, was precious. Annie and Lily drew and colored while Fran and her mom sat on the front porch talking. It was good for both of them.
The little girl stopped coloring and looked at her. “You look like my mom.”
“I know,” Annie said.
“I think she’s pretty,” she said.
“She is,” Annie said and touched the girl’s cheek.
“You’re pretty, too.” She smiled up with innocence.
“Thank you. I think you’re absolutely beautiful.”
Lily grinned. “I know you’re my cousin, and your mother is my aunt, but you’re older than me. Can I call you my aunt, too?”
Annie grinned. “I’d be honored to be called your aunt.”
“Will you come and see us again?”
“Of course.”
“Promise?” Lily gazed up at her. “I don’t get to see Mom’s family much. She says they aren’t fond of kids.”
“Well, I’m very fond of you. I’ll come to see you. Promise.”
She grinned. “Mom used to break promises, but she says she won’t anymore.”
Annie felt her heartstrings tug. “That’s good.”
Later, Don, Lily’s daddy, came over and they cooked dinner together. Annie could tell he and Fran still loved each other. Fran had whispered earlier that they were going to give their marriage another try. It validated Annie’s lifelong plan to someday have that. A family and all the trimmings that went with it.
And t
o have that she might need to walk away from Mark.
* * *
Mark sat at his desk, filling out the report that would close the Reed case. They’d found both bodies. All the Reeds had been interviewed, even Sarah Reed. The DA was still looking at the case, but they’d pretty much said they’d decided not to prosecute.
“I think I found a case we should take on next,” Juan said.
“What?”
“Seven years ago, a couple went missing. It was looked at as a possible homicide, but with no bodies no one was arrested.”
“Did they have suspects?”
“Yeah, they thought it was connected to a deceased drug dealer. But they suspect this hit came from his boss.”
Mark looked up and his right eyebrow rose. “Guzman?”
He just happened to be the drug lord who’d blown up Juan’s house, killed his wife and unborn child, and nearly killed Juan. He spent weeks in the hospital and was outraged when he returned to work and wasn’t allowed to work the case. Juan worked it anyway. It didn’t look good when Juan found Guzman and the son of a bitch pulled a weapon. Thankfully, there had been a witness, and it was ruled a good shoot. And because it took place in a public place, Juan denied he’d been working on the case. Juan got off for that, but it still got him demoted to the Cold Case Unit.
Mark didn’t blame Juan, but right now he didn’t need Juan going rogue, either.
“Don’t worry,” Juan said. “I’d love to catch the bastard, just because of his ties to Guzman, but the guy who killed my wife and kid is dead.”
Mark nodded, realizing this was the first time Juan had spoken about it.
Silence followed. When it got awkward, Connor and Juan started chatting about the case. Mark was struck by how much it must hurt to lose a wife and child to some lowlife gangbanger. He remembered how scared he’d been when he rushed to the coffee shop knowing Annie had been in danger. He stared at the coffee on his desk. He’d picked it up from the coffee shop an hour ago, but hadn’t drunk it.
Nothing tasted right. Nothing felt right. His chest felt empty. His life felt empty. Annie had been gone four days and it felt like fifty.
He leaned back, stared at the ceiling, and thought about Fred. He’d been high on weed at the time, but his advice had a ring of truth to it. And those questions he’d told Mark to consider.
Is she worth it? Are you happy the way you are?
Damn it! Annie was worth it. And hell no, he wasn’t happy.
“Mark? What do you think?” Juan’s words finally got through.
“I think…I think I have to change.”
“What?” Connor asked.
Mark shot up from his chair.
“Where are you going?” Juan asked.
He didn’t answer. If he stopped, he might chicken out.
He took the stairs two at a time. He walked in the door with Dr. Murdock’s name printed on it.
The secretary looked up.
“Is he in?” Mark asked.
“Yes.”
“He alone?”
“Yes.” She reached for the phone.
Mark walked in.
Murdock sat at his desk, reading. He looked up. “Can I help you?”
Mark dropped on his sofa. “Did you bring your coat?”
The man looked puzzled.
“Remember I told you it’d be a cold day in hell when I came to see you on my own?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I think hell just got its first frost.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Ten days into the trip, Annie had gone to bed early to read. It felt odd being in her old room. But it also felt sort of comforting. Like reconnecting with her younger self. She even found some of her old books and was rereading one when her phone rang. Mark’s number flashed on the screen. And emotion flashed in her heart.
“Hi,” she answered, her chest opening with hope and fear.
“Hi,” he said. “Hasn’t it been two weeks yet?”
She laughed. “Not quite.” She sat up and put her book down.
“Can you talk?” he asked.
“Yeah, I was just in my old room reading.”
“Do you have pictures of old boyfriends around or posters of hot guys?”
“No.”
“What does it look like?” he asked.
“It’s pink and girly. And filled with books.”
“I should have guessed.” He paused. “How’s your mom doing?”
“Better than I thought she’d be. We’re going to look at some more retirement homes tomorrow. Did you know Sheriff Harper has asked my mom out?”
“No.” Mark said, sounding shocked. “Then again, the sheriff was always saying she was innocent.”
Their conversation went quiet and Annie heard Latin music on the line. “Where are you?”
“In San Antonio.”
“What are you doing there?”
“Fred has a cousin who lives here. He wanted to see him, so I offered to drive him up.”
“Fred? My Fred? The coffee shop Fred?”
Mark laughed. “I go to the coffee shop, too. Why is he your Fred?”
“No, I’m just surprised. I sent him a birthday card to the coffee shop yesterday. His birthday is in three days.”
“Yeah.” Mark inhaled. “Uh, I forgot to tell you something.”
“What?” She leaned back in her bed.
“Remember the cop that I was looking for? The one who worked Jenny’s case years ago?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, that’s him.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“No. And something else, too.” His tone got lower. “Don’t tell him I told you this, but he’s got cancer. The doctor gives him three to six more months.”
“Oh, Mark. That poor man. Is he in pain?”
“If he gets to hurting, he just smokes a little pot.”
“What?” Annie asked.
“You heard me.” He chuckled.
Annie laughed. “And you’re not duty bound to arrest him?”
“When have you known me to be a stickler for the rules?”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot. Speaking of which, did you take the day off work to go up there?”
“Actually, I have six weeks of vacation time I need to use up. So, I’ve been hanging out with Fred a lot at the coffee shop.”
“Be careful,” she said. “Your halo is showing.”
He laughed. “Damn thing gets in the way sometimes.”
Annie realized it was the first time he didn’t deny he had one. She wondered what that meant.
“When are you coming back?” he asked.
“Early Friday.”
“Can we see each other Friday night?”
Her heart twisted. Was she going to continue to see him? Even knowing they wanted different things. “Sure,” she answered before she’d thought it through.
“Good. I can’t wait.”
* * *
Annie got home Friday morning. First she went to collect Pirate at Isabella’s apartment. After spending some quality time with her cat, she went to school to let the dean know she was back and ready to work. Afterward, she picked up salads for herself and Isabella.
“I’ve got some bad news for you,” her friend said.
Annie’s stomach dropped, afraid things had gone wrong between her and Jose. “What?”
“I’m moving back in with Jose. I’m going to miss being neighbors. Drinking wine. Dinners.”
Annie stuck out her bottom lip. “I’ll miss you, too. But let’s face it, I can’t give you the hot sex he does.”
Isabella laughed. “Oh, so true.”
“But don’t tell me you’re quitting work.”
“No. It’s only a twenty-five-minute drive from our place.”
Annie heard the our in the sentence and her heart warmed. Her friend was going home to the man she loved.
“What about you and Mark?” Isabella asked. “Has he called you yet?”
A
nnie and Isabella had spoken several times while she’d been away. Annie shared all her Mark woes. “No. I’m assuming we’re still on for tonight.”
“He’ll call,” Isabella said.
“I hope so.” And she did hope.
Isabella started bagging their lunch mess. “Have you made up your mind about continuing to see him?”
“Is it wrong to say I plan to play it by ear?” Annie sighed. “I missed him so much. And if this isn’t love, it’s damn near close. If he really doesn’t want a serious relationship, I might be wasting my time, but that’s not what my heart says.”
“Then listen to your heart,” Isabella said. “If I’d listened to mine, I wouldn’t have left Jose.”
* * *
It was three o’clock, and she’d just gotten back to her apartment when Mark called.
“Tell me you’re home,” he said in lieu of hello.
“I’m home.”
“Will you meet me somewhere tonight?” he asked.
“Meet you?”
“Yeah.”
Her heart cramped a little. “You can’t pick me up?”
“It’d be better if you met me.”
“Okay,” she said, wondering if he was officially breaking up with her. Again.
“I’ll text you the address in a bit. Say at six?”
“Sure.”
She spent the next hour preparing herself for whatever happened. If Mark ended it, it was meant to be. She had to accept that. She would accept that. Just as soon as her broken heart healed. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. “Accept it.” She bit down on her lip. But it doesn’t mean I can’t look damn hot to remind him of what he’s missing. She headed to the bedroom to find the sexiest pink outfit she owned.
* * *
He texted her the address. It wasn’t until she parked that she realized it was Buck’s Place, the restaurant where they’d had their first date.
As they walked in the door, the smell of smoked meat and Cajun spices filled her nose. The hostess was seating someone, so Annie continued inside. As her eyes adjusted to the dark atmosphere, she realized she was hungrier to get her hands on Mark than on any food.
“Annie.” Someone called her name. Fred?
She looked over. Fred sat at a table with several other people. But Mark wasn’t one of them.
Don't Close Your Eyes Page 33
