I suddenly noticed his hand trembling, and he fell to his knees, crying. I was pulled again, and placed in front of the man. The moment I saw his face, shock rendered me speechless. It was my uncle, Victor. The man was my uncle. He covered his face crying.
"God, what are we doing?" He asked, clearly troubled by what he’d been ordered to do. His trembling hands reached for the baby, and he placed his hand on her little chest. He sighed, relieved. "You are alive." He whispered, and carefully picked her up and moved her to the corner of the room. He reached for the pink blanket on her crib and gently laid it on her, making sure to leave her space to breathe. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
He stood and wiped his face with the sleeve of his uniform.
“Captain, the orders had been carried out. We took care of all the people in the village. Are you done here?”
Aurelius’ voice made me turn around. My uncle cleared his throat. “Yes, I took care of everyone here. Gather the others and wait for me outside. I’ll be right out.”
Aurelius nodded and left.
My uncle cleaned his face again, straightened and took one last look at the baby, then walked out of the room.
The scene changed one last time, and I was in the cave at the lake. Briana and Lia were tied to the chairs as my father beat Briana vengefully, and Julius tortured Lia. He slid his scalpel over her legs as though he was a painter and she was his masterpiece. I turned around and saw myself standing at the back of the room like a moron, a horrified look in my eyes as I did absolutely nothing to stop them.
The scene disappeared and was replaced by the young girl's face, stricken with pain. The tears slid freely down her cheeks as I tried desperately to hold my own. Her hands still held my face, and I held them tightly, shaking my head, and praying that what she had shown me wasn't true, but I knew the answer.
"We are monsters. Pure evil. So many innocent people died because of us," I said, as my voice broke. How could I ever excuse what we had done? Tears stung my eyes as I looked into hers. "I don't deserve to live."
"Yes, you do." She said, with such conviction I almost believed her. "You are not evil, Felix. They are. You are only what they have made you. But that is not what is in your heart. You believed what they told you, as did your father, his father and almost everyone before them. Your uncle was the only one ever to question what the Brotherhood was doing, and it cost him his life, but he saved Brina that day."
My eyes widened as I remembered Victor’s words from the lake. “I would not kill a baby.” He had said it with so much pride.
My jaw tightened as I tried to contain my emotion, but the moment the girl hugged me, a tear escaped my eye. I clung to her as the images played over and over in my mind.
“Until now you have only been who they created. You are not like them, Felix. You can be your own man. You can change.” She whispered, in my ear and hugged me fiercely.
I shut my eyes, tightly.
“I can change.”
CHAPTER 8. A FRIEND
FELIX
* * *
I stared at the rocky ceiling while I lay on the bed. The past few days had been intense for me. Every moment I had shared with my father, every meeting of the Brotherhood, every speech by Agustina about how to eliminate “the evil threat” in this world, replayed in my mind over and over trying to pull me back from the truth I had uncovered. Each one opened my eyes to a different fact that I had been too blind to see before. No, there was no way I could ever go back. Even if I wanted to, how could I do it knowingly? Everything they had told me had been a lie. All the atrocities they had done long before I was born. How could I ever forget that? After seeing what I had seen, was there a way back for me at all?
Back to what?
The only family I ever had was my Dad. Agustina, Dad's mom, became the head of the Brotherhood after Valentino, her husband, died. I never met Valentino, he was gone before I was born, and Agustina was never a Grandmother to me. I learned that early on. Dad was I all I had, and I couldn't leave him behind. I needed to get out of here so I could find him. Tell him the truth, maybe the two of us could have a chance, leave the Brotherhood and become something else. We would have to change our names and move far away if we wanted to ever create a new life, to a country where the Brotherhood didn't exist. Agustina would never let us leave.
The sound of metal hitting wood alerted me to Eghan’s presence, cutting my thoughts short. It didn't startle me like the first time. I was used to his attitude after what happened with Ronan. I turned in his direction and saw the tray of food he had thrown on the small table. My gaze roamed his face, and I saw the now usual "try me" look in his eyes. Taking a deep breath, I stood and slowly walked to the table.
“Keep your head down, Roman.” He spat the name as though it had infected his tongue.
It was intended as an insult and for the first time it stroke a nerve. After learning the truth for myself, the last thing I wanted was to be called that. To think that only a week ago it had been something that gave me pride. I was Roman. I kept my gaze down as he instructed, and sat at the table. Closing my eyes, I took another breath and tried to calm the mixture of anger and shame that ran through me. This was the treatment I had expected from the beginning, yet I knew it wasn't even close to what we would have done.
When I opened my eyes, Eghan was gone. I stared at the plate of food and the glass of water in front of me. There wasn't a napkin or utensils on the tray. Ronan had stopped coming since I attacked him, and I assumed Eghan had been stuck with the chore of "caring" for the prisoner. Unlike Ronan, Eghan only brought food and water once a day, and he didn't care about anything else. I hadn't gotten water to bathe or clean myself since that day, or clean clothes to change. The smell in the cave was proof of it. Also, unlike before now I ate and kept silent. I wouldn't blame Ronan for never showing his face here again.
I took my shirt off and placed it on the table next to me. Holding the glass of water, I tipped it sideways, just enough to pour a little water on my fingers, and rubbed them together in an attempt to clean them. I reached for the meat on the plate and bread and began to eat. I could almost feel the vitamins infusing my body as the food went down my throat. It had given me a bit more strength in the past few days. I could stand and walk. Slowly, I ate the food until there was nothing left. I wiped my chest clean of the few pieces of food that had fallen on me while I ate with my hands, and I poured a bit more water on my fingers to clean them. I drank what was left in the glass. Standing I put my shirt back on and walked back to the bed, sat down and stared at the entrance of the cave. My mind picked up where I had left off. I needed to find a way to prove to the Druids I was no longer a threat and hopefully, they would let me go. I wanted to start a new life as soon as possible. I never wanted to hear about Romans or Druids ever again. I wanted nothing to do with this life.
My eyes widened when Ronan entered the cave. His face instantly cringed at the stench. His eyes roamed the space, then finally settled on me. He took in my appearance and shook his head. I could see the disapproval on his face.
"Cynwrig will not like learning about this." He said, and walked forwards taking the chair from the table and dragging it towards me like he usually did. I frowned looking at him. "I thought Eghan was taking care of you." He added as an afterthought and sat in front of me.
I swallowed uncomfortably as regret filled my every pore, yet I couldn’t bring myself to say I’m sorry. My pride was in the way.
“How is your wound?” He asked, casually.
I lifted my shirt and frowned. The skin was red and a bit swollen probably the result of not being able to clean it or bathe.
“It’s healing.” I lied.
“It is infected,” he countered, shaking his head again.
I shrugged and covered my side. “Do you have another story for me?”
He searched my eyes. “That depends, do you have another rock for me?”
His gaze suddenly filled with amusement and he actually laug
hed. I stared at him wide-eyed, and he laughed even harder. I couldn't help but laugh with him as we looked at each other. His body shook as the hilarity rolled off him. He slapped his thigh and cleaned a tear that escaped him.
“Good times,” He said, slapping his thigh again and I laughed even harder.
He had one of these laughs that were contagious and just made everyone join in whether you wanted it or not. He held his stomach and stood. “All right, my friend. Let us tidy this room and wash you up. This is not a place a lady would visit.”
I frowned, and he winked at me. My eyes widened when I suddenly noticed gold lines snaking along his forearm and creating a map. He threw a set of small honey colored stones in the air and they shimmered, growing and changing their shape until a portal formed. It was an archway of stones that began to glow with a soft blue light. The interior filled with a hazy mist that swirled until it became clear. He crossed the portal into a rudimental home, like the ones I had seen in the young Druid girl’s visions. I was staring at the inside of a hut.
"Are you coming?" He asked, and if possible, my eyes widened even more.
“What? You mean I can leave the cave?”
He chuckled. "Just for a visit. This is my home. You need to bathe and change into fresh clothes, and we need to tend to that wound. Afterwards, we shall come back and you can help me clean the cave, so you have a decent place to sleep. Come on, but do not tell anybody. It will be our secret."
He really was a decent man. I hadn't even apologized for throwing the rock at him, and now he was inviting me into his house. Just as the thought crossed my mind, Agustina's words startled me.
“They are a parasite that has infected this planet. We have been trying to get rid of them for too long. We need to finish them once and for all.”
I blinked cutting off the thought and looked at Ronan as my pulse began to race. It took everything in me to fight the anger and repulsion her words had mechanically awakened. It was ingrained in me. Perhaps she had been the one to brainwash me.
“What happened? Are you all right, my friend?” He asked, worried, and placed his hand on my shoulder. I swallowed, staring at him while I fought the two sides of my brain once again. I shook my head in response.
His gaze filled with kindness and understanding. “It is alright my friend. All healing takes time.”
I nodded as he stepped back. I looked at the portal. "How the hell do you cross this thing?" He chuckled. "Just walk through it." I nodded, still trying to erase Agustina’s statement from my mind. Lifting my legs as though there was an invisible obstacle I needed to pass, I carefully stepped through.
EISHA
* * *
“Ok, are you ready?” Asrhia asked holding my hands.
I thought about it while I looked at her. “As ready as I shall ever be.”
She rolled her eyes amused. "We are only going to share a vision. My little sister can already do this, and she is four. Don’t be a coward."
“Excuse me?”
She laughed. “You heard me.”
I chuckled. “You have guts young girl, to call Eisha Cinnia, the Laochra Ceannaire of the clan, a coward.”
She winked. “I know. I’m amazing.”
I chuckled. I liked her playfulness.
“Ready?” She asked once again, and I took a deep breath.
“Ready.”
She blinked and the next second her eyes were glowing white. The change occurred so fast it startled me. "Wait!" She blinked again, and her eyes returned to normal. Mine widened even more. "How are you doing that? You blink to go in and out of trance?"
She sighed. “I know. The blinking is actually a nervous tick I have. It annoys the hell out of my mentor because we do not really need to do that, but it helps me because it feels like I am opening and closing a window to the trance. It is easier for me to transition into it. You should see the way my mentor does it. It is so creepy.”
I stared at her perplexed. “No, I meant how do you go into trance and out of it so easily?”
Her gaze became amused once more, as though I was asking the silliest question in the world. “Well, I control my power, it doesn’t control me.”
I sighed. I had, in fact, asked the silliest question in the world. That was exactly what my issue was. I needed to control it. "How does it work? How do you access it so quickly? My mother held small ceremonies to be able to see the visions. She had a ritual with candles and a prayer she recited to help open the way for her. How is this even possible?"
Her gaze roamed mine and she slightly frowned as though she was trying to find the easiest way to elucidate.
"That is the way it was done in ancient times. It is still a crucial step, yet in your mother's time, it was used as a gateway to the power when she required its help. For us, it’s an initiation of sorts. The ritual is the first contact we ever make with this grand power that thrives and pulsates around us, connecting all Ovates. It is done when we are young children, after the first signs of our ability appear." She looked up as though trying to find a better way to explain. "Ok. Do you know how the Hulk says he can control himself because his secret is that he is always angry?"
“What? Who is this Hulk and why is he angry?”
She shook her head. "Never mind all that. Ok, new approach." She sighed. "I can control the power this way, and access it so easily because it is always there. It is not a force I have to call on, or awaken and ask for access. My mentor realized that there is no need to open and close our connection to this power because it is part of us like your High Priests' magic is part of them. Their magic is always there for them to access and so should our power. We perform the ritual on children, to open the channels of communication between them and the living force that exists all around us, and it is never closed. Since it is always with me, I can feel it humming inside me, awake and pulsing, ready to be called into action. It is part of my being, so all I have to do is use it."
I stared at her in awe. “I think I might be developing feelings for your mentor. Are you certain he is not a God? He cannot possibly be human.”
She laughed so hard that she snorted. My eyes widened, and we laughed together. She snorted again. She was such an adorable young girl. It was delightful having her around. Her gaze suddenly flew to the door, and she stood, startled.
“I have to go, I am sorry. You have company.”
“What?”
“It is the High Priest, and Art. They cannot see me. No one but you and Brina must ever see me.”
I turned to the door, confused, then looked back at her as she put her cloak back on. “How do you know it is them?”
“Never mind that. I must go, now.” She touched her necklace and disappeared just as the sound of a knock at the door reached me.
I sighed, turning around and walking towards it. Cyn was standing just outside when I opened it. Art stood beside him. I pulled my gaze away from him and regarded Cyn once more.
“Can we speak for a moment, a chara?”
I gave him a small smile and stepped aside for them to enter. "Of course. Please come in." Art walked in behind him, and they both sat at the table. "Do you want something to drink?" I asked walking to the kitchen and taking the pitcher of ale. Cyn and Art had been here more times than I could count, yet for some reason, this visit seemed formal.
"Yes, please." They answered in unison, and I looked back at them, amused. It brought memories of when they were kids and got in trouble. They always spoke in unison as a sign of comradeship towards the other.
“All right. What did you two do?”
“Oh, it wasn’t me. This one is all on him,” Art answered immediately, and crossed his arms over his chest. He was obviously against whatever Cyn had come to do. Cyn rolled his eyes. “Thank you, brother.”
I placed the glasses on the table and sat in front of them taking a sip. The moment I brought the glass down, Cyn took my hand in his.
“A chara, I have a favor to ask of you and is not an easy one.
I have thought about this for the past couple of days and I ask with trepidation, nevertheless I must ask."
Asrhia’s words immediately grazed my memory.
“You must not refuse him.”
“Please continue.”
He looked at Art then his gaze returned to me. "I have decided to take Felix out of the cave and have him settle in a hut the Warriors have begun building for him. It should be ready in the next week, and we have built it by the mountain on your side of the river."
He paused, and my eyes widened. My gaze went to Art. His jaw was clenched so tightly that I could see the defined muscles on it. I had the impression he wanted to drive his fist right through the table.
"Ronan shall continue to watch over him, but as the counselor of the village, he can only check on Felix once a day. Our people need him. I believe we may have made a mistake keeping Felix in the cave. Contrary to what he might think, he is not our prisoner. I want to help him come to terms with the change he is experiencing, and hopefully, he will understand the truth and accept it. For some reason I cannot yet understand, I am no longer able to feel his essence, yet I believe he has been wronged, a chara. He could be a good man if given the opportunity.”
“You are delusional, bro. Didn’t you see what he did to Ronan at the first chance he got? To Ronan, the only one who has been helping his sorry ass since he got here!”
"You are too blind brother. Anger has made you blind. How would you feel if the roles were reversed? If you woke up one day to discover that everything you believed in, was a lie? That the High Priest lied to us about our Mother Goddess, and we were not who we thought we were."
“That is not the case!” Art roared.
“What if it were?” Cyn countered simply.
Art stood from the table abruptly; his chair crashed against the wall behind him as he walked away from us. He stopped by the window, and I could see the strained muscles of his back trembling. I had never seen him this upset at his brother.
Unwanted Magic (The Ancient Magic Series Book 3) Page 13
