by Nova Weetman
‘Happy?’ she asked.
‘It’s great – thanks heaps, Zoe!’
The next hour rocketed by and Kerry was soon yelling for us to be quiet. The doors had opened, and the audience was making their way to their seats.
I found Mel and wished her luck. Jackson gave me a hurried hug before we took our places. This was it.
My heart was flying as I waited in the wings. The closer it came to my entrance, the more I wanted to run. I had no idea if I’d even be able to get my lines out. They were all jumbling around in my head.
Rose, who was playing Lady Capulet, was standing next to me. She nudged me and I nodded. It was time.
We walked on and took our positions. I heard Rose deliver her line. I was next. I looked out at the audience – three hundred shadowy faces stared back. I blinked into the stage lights, gathered up all my nerves, and spoke.
‘Now, by my maidenhead, at twelve year old, I bade her come.’
My voice was too quiet. I could hear Kerry in my head, telling me to project. I looked up, forced my shoulders back and continued.
‘What, lamb! What, ladybird! God-forbid!
Where’s this girl? What, Juliet!’
As I finished my speech and Zoe came on as Juliet, I felt all my nerves vanish.
I felt great. I could nail this part.
From that point on, the play flew. Suddenly I was back on stage, delivering my favourite speech, heartbroken and distressed.
‘O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! …’
As I finished my speech, I snuck a look into the front row. I could see Mum, Dad and Jean, but not Tess. My heart sank.
And then I saw her. She was looking right at me, and I’m pretty sure I saw her smile in the dark. She’d forgiven me.
The rest of the play went by in a blur and then we were all on stage, and the audience was cheering madly. As we all linked hands to take our final bow, Jackson squeezed in next to me. It felt so perfect holding his hand.
We must have bowed ten times before the audience finally stopped clapping. When the curtain came down we all ran off stage, cheering and laughing.
‘You were amazing, Edie!’ said Jackson, grabbing both my hands. ‘Amazing!’
‘So were you,’ I said, grinning at him.
‘You both were.’ Kerry gave us both a hug, and whispered in my ear, ‘You were right, Edie. That part belonged to you. You nailed it!’
I knew she was right. I felt fantastic. This was why I wanted to act. To play amazing parts, however big or small they were.
‘You coming to the afterparty?’ asked Jackson. He seemed to suddenly realise he was still holding my hands, and let go. I found myself wishing that he hadn’t.
‘Absolutely! Are you?’
‘As soon as I get out of these robes,’ he said. Then he smiled shyly and added,‘Do you want to go together?’
‘Sure. But I might have to take off this make-up first. Don’t want to go out looking like I’m your grandma!’
He laughed. ‘Meet you back here in ten?’
‘Give me twenty!’ I said, thinking of the task ahead of me.
‘Edie, you were awesome!’ yelled Tess, running towards me. She hugged me so hard I thought I was going to fall over. ‘I’m sorry!’ she said.
‘No, I’m sorry! I’m so glad you came!’
‘I was always going to,’ she said, smiling. ‘I actually already had my ticket, but the one you put in my locker was front row – thanks for the upgrade!’
I grinned. ‘Do you want to come to the afterparty?’
‘Nah, you go. It’s your thing. But can we hang out tomorrow? And the next day? And the one after that?’
‘Yes, yes, yes!’ I shouted.
‘Oh, and your family are waiting out front. Jean is so proud of you! Look out – I think you’ve inspired a comeback!’
I laughed. ‘I have to go, but I’ll see you tomorrow?’
‘Absolutely. I’m so proud of you,’ she said with a big smile.
‘Thanks. Me too!’
I felt so crazy lucky. The play was great. My part was great. My best friend came. And now I was off to a party with the boy I liked. What a perfect night!
‘You know what? You’re right,’ I said to Tess.
‘Of course I am!’ she said, groaning.
‘I have to play Juliet,’ I said, wondering even as I said it whether it was the right decision. But if I didn’t leap in and give it a go, I’d never know how it felt to play a lead. I wanted to know if I could do it. ‘I’m sorry I made it so complicated!’
Tess grinned at me. I couldn’t help grinning back. It was so exciting! I couldn’t wait to tell Kerry and Freddy that I’d decided to say yes.
‘You know this means I’ll hardly see you until the play opens,’ I said. ‘I’m going to have so much work to do to catch up with Freddy.’
Tess shrugged. ‘Have you forgotten training? It takes up almost my entire life!’
‘And you love it,’ I said.
Tess smiled and nodded. ‘I really do, Edie. I miss you, of course, but it’s totally amazing playing netball at this level. I can already imagine what it would be like to play nationally.’
‘I can totally see you doing that,’ I said. And I could. It was like Tess had found her path – she knew where she wanted to be. I was still working mine out, but that was okay too. As long as we got to hang out along the way, it didn’t matter if we were doing different things.
‘So you’ll get to kiss Freddy!’ said Tess, with a cheeky look on her face.
‘Yep. Every night,’ I said. ‘In front of about three hundred people. Argh!’
Tess laughed. ‘At least you don’t have to act for that bit,’ she said. I hit her playfully on the arm. ‘I know, I know, he has nothing to do with why you want to play Juliet,’ said Tess, laughing.
It was so good to have my best friend back! I think we could have stayed up talking all night, but after a couple of hours, I had to go home. I lay awake half the night imagining myself on stage as Juliet. Now that I’d decided to do it, I couldn’t wait to get started.
I looked at the clock again. Only twelve seconds had passed since I’d last looked, which meant there was now only thirty-seven minutes and thirty-two seconds to go before the curtain was raised. I felt sick. My dress was too tight. I had too many pins in my hair. And Jean had plastered so much make-up on me, I could barely smile. Not that I felt like smiling. I was so nervous that I wasn’t sure I could actually speak.
‘Okay, close your eyes,’ said Jean, holding out the eye-shadow brush.
I tried to close them but it just made me panic even more.
‘What’s wrong?’ Jean said, getting impatient.
‘What if I forget all my lines?’
She grabbed my hands. ‘You won’t. And if you do then Freddy will help. It’ll be fine.’
‘Honestly?’ I couldn’t believe that before I’d been cast in the play there was no way Jean and I would have been sitting and chatting about something as big as stage fright. But now it just felt totally natural to tell her how I was really feeling.
Jean nodded. ‘I’m really proud of you, Edie. I dropped out of drama because of nerves. Watching you get ready to play Juliet has made me realise how much I miss it. Everyone feels nervous. Only some people let it control them.’
I was shocked. I’d always thought Jean had dropped out because of me. Finding out it was because she got stage fright was huge. The problem was, that just made me feel even more nervous. I mean, if it could happen to Jean, it could definitely happen to me too.
‘We need to finish your make-up, or you won’t be going on stage,’ Jean said calmly.
I closed my eyes and let Jean finish her work. I tried to relax as she brushed and wiped and pencill
ed makeup on my face, but I couldn’t help worrying that I’d freeze as soon as I walked on stage.
‘Okay, take a look,’ said Jean.
As I opened my eyes, I was amazed. I looked just like I imagined Juliet would look like. Even if I didn’t feel quite like Juliet, at least I looked like her.
‘Thanks, Jean!’
‘Knock ‘em dead, Edie!’
Nine minutes to go and I was hiding out at the back of the stage, feeling sick and scared and wishing the ground would just open up and swallow me. It hadn’t been easy stepping into the part of Juliet. For the first few weeks, Freddy had just seemed really sad about Belle leaving, and we didn’t click in rehearsals at all. Kerry had ended up calling some extra rehearsals just for Freddy and me to work on some of the harder scenes. Kissing him on stage was the worst bit. Each time we got to the death scene, I’d get all fidgety and nervous and worry that I wasn’t kissing him right or that the other cast members were watching. I still wasn’t sure that it would be okay tonight. We’d never really made it look particularly convincing.
‘Edie? You okay down there?’ asked Freddy, peering down at me.
I peered up and managed to nod. ‘Sort of,’ I said, surprised to hear words actually come out of my mouth.
He held out his hand and I took it. It was soft and warm and I didn’t want to let it go. ‘Come on, you need to be in the wings. It’s almost time.’
I let him lead me to stage left, where half the cast were pacing or chattering or nervously reciting lines under their breath.
‘You look beautiful. You’ll be an amazing Juliet,’ said Freddy, looking straight into my eyes and smiling. If I weren’t so totally nervous about the play I would have been over the moon that he was being so sweet, but right now all I could think about was running away. This was all Belle’s fault. If she hadn’t moved overseas then I’d be still playing the Nurse, and I wouldn’t be nervous at all. But playing Juliet was huge.
I spied Jackson in the corner doing voice exercises and I thought how nice he looked in his Friar robes. We’d hardly spoken since I’d taken the part of Juliet – most of my time had been spent with Freddy and the other actors I had key scenes with. In fact, I’d pretty much spent every moment with Freddy, hanging out and watching old Romeo and Juliet movies, or running lines. It had been nice when I hadn’t actually had to face a real audience, but now that the moment had arrived, it was terrifying.
Freddy was still holding my hand. I wondered if he could just keep holding it while I was on stage, because then I might make it through.
‘Freddy, I’m …’ I couldn’t even say it.
He squeezed my hand. ‘You’ll be fine. Just remember to breathe. I’ll be with you on stage, okay?’
I managed a nod, but it wasn’t very convincing.
‘Two minutes to showtime,’ called Kerry as she walked into the wings. She squeezed my shoulder, smiling at Freddy and me. ‘Break a leg, guys,’ she said.
‘I hate that expression,’ I said, making Freddy laugh.
‘Yeah, don’t break a leg. That would be messy and unfortunate. Just pretend you’re her,’ he said softly.
He was right. That was all it was. Pretending. I could pretend. Couldn’t I?
As we heard the audience start filing in, we immediately fell silent. Then Freddy lifted my hand and kissed it, smiling at me as he let go. ‘My lady,’ he said, and then disappeared into the wings, headed for the other side of the stage, where he’d make his entrance. I closed my eyes and tried to relax, as the curtains opened and the play began.
The first two scenes passed quickly. I could feel my heart racing as I waited for my entrance. I heard the Nurse call for me and I hurried on stage and took up my place. But when I opened my mouth to deliver my line, nothing came out. I just couldn’t remember what I was supposed to say. I felt totally panicked. Then for some reason, I looked out at the audience, at all the hundreds of faces watching me. And I saw Tess’s face in the audience, her smile. She nodded her head and I could imagine her willing me to relax, to remember my line, and to stop being nervous. It must have worked because I stood up straight, dropped my shoulders, took a breath and turned to face the Nurse.
‘How now! Who calls?’ I said in a voice loud and strong. And suddenly I remembered every line and every step. I could feel myself becoming Juliet. I wasn’t scared anymore. This was what I’d wanted. It was my turn to star.
The play shot forward in a flash. As I prepared myself for the balcony scene, I watched Mel and the other backstage helpers wheel out the beautiful balcony, with its cascading flowers and vines. It looked just like the side of an Italian villa. They’d done an amazing job.
I climbed up the ladder behind the balcony as the curtain rose on the scene. I felt amazing, just like Juliet would have as she walked out into the night air, confused about loving a Montague, a boy from the family that had been declared her enemy.
I listened as Freddy delivered his speeches perfectly. Then it was my turn. I looked down into the audience.
‘O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I’ll no longer be a Capulet.’
As I finished my speech, I realised how much I was enjoying myself. I was on stage so much that I barely even had time to worry about what was up next. I couldn’t believe how fast it was all going. And then suddenly it was time for the death scene.
I rushed onto the stage and dropped to my knees, heartbroken that my beloved was dead.
‘… and left no friendly drop
To help me after? I will kiss thy lips;
Haply some poison yet doth hang on them,
To make me die with a restorative.’
And then without hesitating, I reached down and took Freddy’s face in my hands and kissed his lips. And even though I still thought he was super cute, and he had that accent, the kiss was just another moment in the play. At that moment I was Juliet, not Edie.
‘Thy lips are warm!’
Then I snatched Freddy’s dagger from his waist and said my final line.
‘O happy dagger!
This is thy sheath; there rust, and let me die.’
And I drove the dagger down the side of my body, pretending to stab myself. I heard someone in the audience gasp. As I lay down across Freddy’s body and pretended to die, I felt amazing.
I loved every second of being on stage. Even the death scene, which had been so difficult in rehearsals, now felt perfect in front of an audience. It was like Freddy and I had finally found our rhythm, and the play just soared. As the curtain came down, I heard the audience cheering like crazy.
Freddy and I stood up and before I could move away, he scooped me up, spinning me around in a circle. ‘You were fantastic, Edie!’
‘So were you!’ I said, giddy. I’d never felt like this before. I just wanted to laugh and cheer all at once.
As the curtain opened again, Freddy grabbed my hand and we rushed forward to the front of the stage to take our bow. Tess was already on her feet. My family joined her, and then the whole audience leapt up and gave us a standing ovation. Freddy and I took a huge bow, then held out our hands for the rest of the cast to run on and join us.
I stood up and looked out over the audience, my hand still in Freddy’s, a stupidly huge smile on my face. I saw Tess grinning back, and I felt like I was just about the luckiest girl in the world.
‘Whoa!’ I whispered to Tess as we stepped inside the stadium. There were just so many people. And they’d all come to watch us! Okay, not just us, but still. I’d never played netball in front of a crowd of more than about forty. The
practice game we’d played was nothing compared to this. I suddenly felt really excited.
‘Tess, I can’t believe we’re here. It’s not like a Sapphires game, is it?’ I said, grabbing my bestie’s hand and squeezing it. I was so glad I’d decided to stay on the team.
Tess shook her head, looking a bit dazed. Suddenly she started waving madly. ‘Look, there are our folks.’ Her parents were sitting in the front row, next to my parents. I was amazed to see that even my sister had turned up, and Tess’s brothers. ‘We’d better play well today,’ said Tess nervously, grabbing my hand.
I laughed. ‘You always play well.’
Tess shot me a worried look. ‘You think?’
I raised an eyebrow. She totally knew how good she was. ‘Yeah, for sure. You’re a machine! Sometimes it pays to practice. It’s only thanks to you that I finally get how important it is to train!’
‘Thanks, Edie,’ she said. ‘I’m so glad you’re here.’
In all our excitement, Tess and I hadn’t even realised that the rest of our team were already warming up. Suddenly we heard Justine yell,‘Tess! Edie! You joining us?’
We raced out onto the court, apologising madly. Ever since I’d made the decision to fully commit to netball, I’d been training super hard. And now that we were here, about to go up against the Warriors in our first proper state game, I was so glad I had been. I couldn’t wait to get out on the court and show my team how I could play when I was totally committed.
Even the blisters seemed to have stopped forming – though that might have had something to do Maggie’s mum’s miracle udder cream, which, amazingly, actually seemed to work.
As Tess and I ran through our drill passes, I tried to ignore the butterflies in my stomach. This was my chance to see if all those hours of training had paid off. To see if I’d improved as much as Justine said I had. I still didn’t love training as much as Tess or Maggie, and I still sometimes wished that it didn’t have to take over all of my spare time. But I also knew that I’d never felt stronger, or more in control of my game. I’d never pushed my natural skills as far as they could go and that was pretty exciting.
