She’d allow her hair to fall free as a tangible reminder that she was now free of her demons. A silly idea, she supposed, but she needed all the courage she could muster from any source available.
“This is it,” she said to her reflection in the mirror over the dresser. “This is really and truly it.”
When Laurel entered the living room, her mother looked up from where she was sitting on the sofa watching the news and smiled.
“You look lovely, Laurel,” Jane said. “Your hair is so pretty like that, just gorgeous.” She paused. “I hope things go well when you see Ben.”
“I guess it was easy to figure out that that’s where I’m going,” Laurel said. “I just hope I’m not too late to make him believe how very much I love him. Just talking about it makes the butterflies start their zooming thing in my stomach again. Well, I’m off. Wish me luck.”
“I wish you love,” Jane said.
Laurel smiled and nodded, then slipped her jacket on, her hand automatically sliding across the pocket holding the pouch.
“Bye,” she said, starting toward the door.
“Ta-ta,” Jane said, looking at the television again. “Hopefully, you won’t be back until tomorrow.”
“Mother!” Laurel stopped in her tracks, a warm flush staining her cheeks.
“Ta-ta,” Jane said again, waggling the fingers of one hand in the air.
Laurel left the house and drove slowly toward Ben’s home.
Ben placed the screen in front of the fire he had started in the living room hearth. He turned as he heard a vehicle approaching the house.
Laurel was here, he thought. The hours since she’d told him in no uncertain terms that she was going to speak to him, like it or not, had seemed like an eternity. Man, what a long afternoon.
Aw, hell, didn’t she get it? There was nothing left to say. Yeah, sure, she’d declared her love for him. Big deal. What she’d failed to mention was that there was some guy in Virginia she loved even more. Was he going to have to stand here and listen to her tell him that? No way. He’d—
Ben jerked as a knock sounded, then strode across the room and opened the front door.
“Hello, Ben,” Laurel said.
“Yeah,” he said, frowning. “Come in.”
She wasn’t playing fair, he thought as he closed the door behind Laurel. She’d left her hair free of the braid, and his fingers were already tingling, wanting to sift through that ebony waterfall and… Skeeter, get a grip.
“A fire in the hearth,” Laurel said. “How nice. May I take off my jacket?”
“What?” Ben said. “Oh. Sure.”
Laurel placed her jacket on a chair, then sat down in another chair that faced the fire. Ben walked forward slowly and slouched onto the opposite one.
“Let’s cut to the chase, shall we?” he said, frowning. “Why are you here? What is it you want to talk to me about, Laurel?”
“You’re not going to make this easy for me, are you?” she said, clutching her hands tightly in her lap.
Ben lifted one shoulder in a shrug, then laced his hands loosely on his chest as he crossed his legs at the ankle.
“Ben,” Laurel said, then drew a steadying breath. “I love you. I’m deeply in love with you, but…”
“Cut,” he said, slicing one hand through the air. “Let me fill in the blanks. You love me but, gosh, Ben, there’s this guy in Virginia I love more than I love you. That’s the way it is, Skeeter, and I thought I should clear that up. The end.”
“What are you talking about?” Laurel said, confused.
“Oh, come on, Laurel,” Ben said, pushing himself upward in the chair. “I was outside Grandfather’s hogan and heard the bit about your heart being in Virginia. I don’t need to be hit by a brick, lady.
“And as far as what happened between us after Grandfather’s funeral? The lovemaking we shared in his hogan? Maybe it was wrong, I don’t know. We needed comfort, a momentary escape from the sorrow of losing a man who was like no other. I’m not sorry about what we did, but if you are, go for it.
“The big secret you’ve been keeping about why you came running home is clear as a bell now,” he continued. “You had a romance go sour in Virginia, you still love the jerk and you have to decide whether to go back and try to patch things up. How am I doing? I’d say I’m right on the money.”
Laurel narrowed her eyes, slid a quick glance at the pocket of her jacket where it lay on the chair, then crossed her arms over her breasts.
“You are so wrong it’s a crime, Benjamin Skeeter, and you should arrest yourself,” she said. “There is no man in Virginia. There has been no one in my life of any importance since I left here ten years ago. I told you that and it was the truth. You’ve got a lot of nerve listening to a private conversation between me and Grandfather, but I’ll let that part pass.”
“Mmm,” Ben said, frowning.
Laurel sighed and dropped her hands back to her lap.
“Ben,” she said quietly, “I need to know you’re going to listen to me, really hear what I’m about to tell you. We destroyed our entire future together years ago because we didn’t really hear what the other was saying. This is our chance to have our forever again, but it won’t happen if you don’t hear my words, listen with an open mind and heart. Will you do that? Please?”
Ben shifted his gaze to the leaping flames in the hearth for a long moment, then met Laurel’s gaze again.
“Yeah,” he said, nodding. “Yes, I will.”
“Thank you. Ben, you misunderstood what you heard when you were outside Grandfather’s hogan. He said my heart was in Virginia, but it was because it was being held by the demons of what happened there. He said that until I defeated those demons, I wouldn’t be able to live and love—love you—the way that I should, the way that I want to.
“I tried so hard to fight the ghosts, the demons,” she said, struggling against threatening tears, “but I wasn’t strong enough. I was losing the battle. Losing myself. Losing you.”
“Wait a minute,” Ben said, shaking his head. “Let’s back up here. If the big secret isn’t a man in Virginia, then what exactly happened back there? What created these demons you’re speaking of and sent you running home?”
“Okay,” Laurel said, her voice not quite steady. “Oh, God, this is so hard for me to… All right. I worked as a counselor, a psychologist, at an exclusive year-round boarding school for high school students from very affluent families.
“Some of them were there because their parents were so career oriented they didn’t have time for them. Others had gotten into trouble with the law because they were bored little rich kids. Some were simply decent young people obtaining an excellent education.”
Ben nodded, his gaze riveted on Laurel.
“I, of course,” she continued, “dealt with the ones who had problems. There was a boy, David, sixteen years old, who was expelled from three public high schools for breaking the rules. When he was fifteen, he attempted suicide, which was chalked up to an attempt to gain his parents’ attention.
“His mother and father were divorced, and the sad thing was neither one of them wanted the responsibility of having custody of their son who was in such emotional turmoil. So they put him in that boarding school where I was working.”
“Nice people,” Ben said with a snort of disgust.
“David began to act out at the school, cutting classes, being late for curfew, all kinds of things. Then his roommate told one of the teachers that David had spoken of killing himself and that he’d make sure he did it right this time. The teacher immediately referred David to me.”
Ben nodded.
“I spent hours with him, Ben,” Laurel said. “Weeks into months. He slowly opened up, revealed how lonely he was, how unwanted and unloved he felt by his mother and father. He was angry and hurt, an unhappy child. So unhappy.
“David was brilliant, and I centered on that, telling him how he could create a world for himself wherever he wanted, be wha
tever he wanted to be. I focused on his worth, how much he had to offer, how he had to believe in himself even though the two most important people in his life had forsaken him.
“Suicide wasn’t the answer, I told him, living was. He could rise above the pain, the hurt, the disappointments and betrayals, and show the world what he could do, how fine a man he could become.”
“Yeah,” Ben said. “That’s good. Yeah.”
“David began to buckle down and study, was getting top grades in his classes, following all the rules of the school, doing everything right. He began to smile, laugh right out loud sometimes when we were having a counseling session. He talked about a future as an attorney who specialized in family law, one who represented the children of divorce, made certain they didn’t get lost in the legal shuffle.
“I was thrilled with what I was seeing in David. All my training was paying off. I had actually reached him, gotten through to him and…”
Laurel stopped speaking, pressed her lips tightly together and shook her head.
Ben leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees and laced his fingers together.
“And what?” he said.
“It…it was all an act on David’s part,” Laurel said, her eyes filling with tears. “All of it. Those weeks and months were a game he was playing just because it was something to do. I fell for it, Ben. I missed every signal he sent out that it was a phony performance because I was too busy patting myself on the back for doing such a terrific job of getting David on the right track.”
“What happened?” Ben said quietly.
“He…David…he killed himself. He hung himself in the closet in his room at the school. His roommate found him and… Oh, God, Ben, I couldn’t believe it. I was so certain that… I lost all confidence in myself, blamed myself for David’s death, fell prey to the demons of guilt and shame and came running home to Willow Valley.”
“Aw, Laurel,” Ben said. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. Did he—did David leave a note?”
Two tears slid down Laurel’s cheeks and she wiped them away with her fingertips.
“Oh, yes,” Laurel said, a slight edge to her voice. “He wanted to be certain that it was understood that he was the one in charge. The note said I win. The game was over, he was tired of it and, as far as he was concerned, he’d won.”
“Man,” Ben said, dragging one hand down his face.
“I couldn’t talk about it,” Laurel said. “I couldn’t bear to tell anyone. Not even Dove. Not you. I told my mother, of course, and she finally convinced me to talk to Grandfather even though he was ill. She said that he would want me to come to him with this.”
“Of course he would,” Ben said.
“That’s what you overheard, Ben, about my heart being in Virginia. My heart, my mind, my very soul, was being held captive there by the demons of what I perceived to be my terrible failure that cost a young man his life.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Ben said, straightening in the chair again. “David obviously had a plan he’d put in motion. It’s clear to me that nothing could have stopped him, Laurel. Nothing. No one. Grandfather would have understood that. David chose to end his days on his own terms, just as Grandfather did.”
Laurel nodded. “That’s what Grandfather told me, urged me to realize, believe, but I was still struggling with it when he died.
“But I’m getting ahead of myself here. When I went to see Grandfather to talk to him about my troubles, he asked me if I was afraid of the chendi and I said no. He suggested, strongly suggested, really, that I might want to come to the hogan after he was gone because there was peace to be found there.”
“And you went to the hogan after the funeral,” Ben said.
“Yes. On the day Grandfather and I spoke he showed me a beautiful deep blue turquoise stone, Ben. His mother had given it to him when he was leaving for the war. It wasn’t magical, he said, it was meant to make him stop and reach within himself for strength and courage. He said I had more inner strength than I realized.
“After the funeral, when you came to the hogan and we…we made love, I slept after you left. I had strange dreams, one tumbling into the next. Then I saw Grandfather and he spoke to me in the dream about defeating the ghosts, the demons. When I woke, I knew I was finally free, that I had really heard what Grandfather was saying.”
“Thank God for that,” Ben said.
“Yes. At long last, after so many months, so many tears, I finally understood that David’s death wasn’t my fault. I was free, thanks to Grandfather, of the demons. Free to live. Free to love. You. To love you, Ben. I just hope and pray that I’m not too late, that I haven’t destroyed everything between us.”
“No, oh, no, you’re not too late,” Ben said, getting to his feet. “I love you, Laurel. I was so ripped up when I thought you were in love with some guy in Virginia. Thank God you had that dream about Grandfather that day in the hogan.”
“I know. But there’s more, Ben,” she said, rising to stand in front of him. “When I picked up my jacket to leave the hogan, I realized that Grandfather had left me a gift that I hadn’t seen when I first came into the hogan and had covered it with my coat. Let me show you.”
Laurel retrieved the soft rawhide pouch from the pocket of her jacket and handed it to Ben.
“What is it?” he said.
“Open it. It’s one of Grandfather’s most treasured possessions, and he gave it to me.”
Ben eased the top of the small pouch apart and tipped it into his hand, his eyes widening as he saw what tumbled into his palm.
“My God, Laurel, it’s the turquoise stone Grandfather’s mother gave him. What an incredible gift this is.”
“I know that. I believe he wanted me to have it so I’d remember to reach for my inner strength as the future unfolds with all it will bring. I want us to share this precious stone, Ben. Grandfather loved us,” she said, tears echoing in her voice. “He couldn’t bear the thought that my demons were going to keep us apart, keep us from fulfilling our dreams together.”
Laurel took a shuddering breath and lifted her chin. “Benjamin Skeeter, will you marry me? Will you be my life’s partner until death parts us, then beyond? Will you be the father of our children? Will you share with me all the dreams we had so many years ago?”
Ben laid the pouch on the flagstones fronting the fireplace, then carefully placed the turquoise stone on top of it. He turned, closed the distance between him and Laurel and framed her face in his hands.
“Laurel Windsong, I would be honored to be your husband,” he said, making no attempt to hide the tears glistening in his eyes. “I’ve waited so long for you, and now you’re home, really home, with me. We’ll tell our children about Grandfather and the great gift he gave us. Our future together.”
“Yes,” Laurel said, smiling at the same time that tears filled her eyes. “Our children will grow up here in Willow Valley, just as we did.
“I believe in myself again, too, and know I can help those who are troubled. Kids like Yazzie who are so weary of being poor, having so little, yet not knowing how to change how things are. I’ll reach out to them and make a difference in their lives. Oh, Ben, I love you so much.”
Ben lowered his head and kissed his future wife with a gentle reverence that brought fresh tears to both of their eyes. Then the kiss intensified and passion flared like the leaping flames in the hearth. They sank to the plush Navajo rug and in the glow of the firelight made love that sealed their commitment to their future. To their forever again. And then they slept with visions of all they would have in the years ahead as all their dreams came true.
Later, Ben stirred, then shifted up on one forearm to look at the embers in the hearth. His breath caught. He whispered Laurel’s name until she opened her eyes.
“Laurel,” he said, awe ringing in his voice. “Look. Look at the stone.”
She pushed herself upward, and Ben sat up behind her as they stared at the pouch he’d laid on the flagstones.
The stone seemed to be glowing brightly from within, causing the beautiful blue color to shimmer in the firelight. Then, slowly, the glow dimmed and the stone was as it had been.
Laurel tilted her head back to smile up at Ben.
“Grandfather is at peace now,” she said. “He’s completed his journey across the rainbow bridge.” She looked at the stone again. “Ahehee, wise warrior, our Grandfather. Thank you.”
“Ahehee,” Ben whispered. “For all and everything and more.”
Epilogue
Laurel Windsong and Benjamin Skeeter were united in marriage in a candlelight service held in the church in Willow Valley on Christmas Eve.
Laurel wore an exquisite white, intricately beaded deerskin dress that had belonged to her father’s mother. Ben wore a black Western-cut suit with a crisp white shirt and a rawhide bolo tie.
Determined that she and Ben should share Grandfather’s gift of the turquoise stone, Laurel and Ben met with their lifelong friend on the reservation, Charlie Streamwalker, who made jewelry to sell in the shops in Willow Valley.
Charlie and his wife designed and made matching sterling silver wedding bands for the couple, then carefully mounted four chips of turquoise from Grandfather’s stone on the top of each ring.
The remainder of the stone was crafted into a lovely teardrop hanging from a silver chain for Laurel, and the last chunky piece was on a silver disk that created Ben’s bolo tie.
A beaming Cadillac was given the assignment of letting everyone in town and on the rez know that a huge barbecue to celebrate the long-awaited wedding would be held on the reservation in the spring when the weather once again turned warm.
Dove was Laurel’s maid of honor and Doc Willie was Ben’s best man. Jane Windsong smiled through her tears as she listened to Laurel and Ben exchange vows that she knew they would honor until death parted them and even beyond, when it was time to cross the rainbow bridge.
“Our baby is happy at last, Jimmy,” Jane whispered, dashing a tear from her cheek.
“You may kiss your bride,” the minister said finally.
A Wedding in Willow Valley (Willow Valley Women) Page 16
