by Stella Noir
“The day after tomorrow. We’re back tracking now—heading back to the tip of the Minahassa Peninsula, only to the east side this time. We’ll dock in Bitung and Gina will meet us at a big marketplace that’s near the docks. I’ll hand you off to her and her driver, who also works for her as her security guard, and she’ll take you by car back to Manado where her plane will be waiting, then she’ll fly you out of there.”
“I can’t believe this, Adrian. I don’t want you to be alone.”
“I won’t be completely alone. I talked to Grady after I got the email from Lucas and he’s going to help me. Everything is going to be okay.”
I watched Adrian steer the boat as he pulled into a slip along the docks in Bitung. I could tell that he had barely slept the two nights it took us to get back to the shore because he looked completely manic. He had dark circles under his eyes, which had a wild look to them.
He wouldn’t let me go out on the dock to help him at all. Even when he went out to tie up he made me stay inside the boat.
I had packed just about everything I owned into a large suitcase that Adrian pulled behind us as we made our way across the wooden dock and up to the shore. It was Saturday and the marketplace that sprawled out from the docks was bustling with hundreds of people.
There were all kinds of incredible things to buy. Brightly colored exotic fruits and vegetables in burlap sacks lined the streets, as well as tables covered with bins of dried fish and chilies and fruits I didn’t recognize.
Each of the stalls were covered in some sort of a tarp or tent that helped shade the merchants and keep them out of the rain. But today was an incredibly beautiful, sunny day. There was a slight breeze and the temperature was warm but not too hot.
I wished so badly that Adrian and I were here sightseeing or even staying for a month or two instead of being separated. I was filled with dread about what was going to happen to him. I didn’t even care if he thought that I would be safer away from him. I just wanted to be with him.
“I hope you realize that there’s no way I’m going to spend the next six months without talking to you at all. I’ll buy a new phone I only use to talk to you. But we’re going to talk every single day. I won’t be able to function if I don’t know what’s going on and if you’re okay.”
“All right. You’re the boss,” Adrian said with a smile as he ran his hand down my hair. “I don’t think I could stand to go for longer than a week without hearing your voice, anyway.”
His eyes looked so sad and tired and I almost burst into tears thinking about everything that had brought us up to this point. He had saved my life, saved me from a fate worse than death, and now he was being tormented because of what he did.
I couldn’t help but feel like it was all my fault, even though I knew that wasn’t the case at all. But it was me they were after. Not Adrian.
I wanted so badly to wrap my arms around him and run away to some place where we could be safe. Just the two of us. But I had to keep telling myself we had already done that. We had already tried to run and hide and I knew Adrian was right. No matter where we went, those men were going to keep looking for us. And there would be times we would be prepared, but there would eventually be times we were caught off guard. I didn’t even want to think about what my life would be like if that happened.
“Where are we supposed to meet Gina?”
“She told me that there is a statue in the middle of this marketplace. It’s a square where people gather. She said if we walk straight ahead away from the docks we won’t miss it. She’ll be there with her security guard. In fact, they should be there now,” he said as he looked at the phone he had for whenever we were docked.
We walked past tent after tent of fresh and dried produce and fish, then eventually came to a large stall that had tables that were covered in piles of fabric. They were brightly colored with intricate designs and some had flecks of gold woven into the pattern.
Adrian had his arm around my shoulders from the moment we left the boat, and when I hung back to look at the fabric his hand drifted down until it was holding mine. He turned around to see why I had stopped.
“Adrian, I want to look at these for a minute,” I said, pulling his hand so he would follow me to the table.
“Okay, but we should meet up with Gina pretty soon. I don’t think we’re too far away.”
“Okay, this fabric is so beautiful.”
“It kind of reminds me of the cruise-wear designs you are describing to me. The different colors of blue in the ocean.”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking. This one right here would be so perfect,” I said as I ran my hand over a folded square of fabric that popped with vibrant blues and flecks of gold.
I jumped as a loud crash came from behind us. Adrian and I both whipped around and watched as a tent over one of the stalls across the walkway collapsed, causing barrels of fruit to tip over and masses of round fruit to roll out onto the ground. People in the walkway rushed in to grab the fruit that rolled away from the stall as the merchants yelled and tried to gather the fruit up themselves.
As I watched all of the commotion I was pushed from behind, and then from another direction, and for just a moment my hand slipped out of Adrian’s. And that’s the last thing I remember.
ADRIAN
“Brooklyn!”
I yelled her name over the commotion of the crowd as loud as I could until the crowd started to thin. I was hysterical, but I didn’t know what else to do, so I stood in the same spot and turned around in a circle again and again, scanning the crowd for as far as I could see and calling out her name.
I left Brooklyn’s suitcase in the spot where I last felt her hand in mine, and continued to scan the surrounding stalls as I walked behind the tents in the immediate area. I pushed my way through the crowds of people as I looped back around, hoping to catch the sight of anything that resembled her or someone carrying something heavy. But she was gone.
“Brooklyn! Where are you?!” I yelled as I gripped my hair with both my hands. I couldn’t even think about anything but killing, or doing anything I could to get her back. But I still couldn’t accept that she was gone. The remaining shred of sense I had in my brain was the only thing keeping me from killing every single person in the immediate area. But I knew that would get me absolutely nowhere.
Everything I had done up to this point, everything I had put in place to make sure she stayed safe, was for nothing. In one second, one split second of being distracted and pushed by the crowds, her hand slipped out of mine and that was it.
I was sure whoever had been tracking us was watching so closely and had timed everything so perfectly that they knew exactly when to grab her. She was gone in the blink of an eye, faster than I ever thought possible.
In my head, when I imagined a scenario where Brooklyn was taken from me, it always involved me fighting off a group of loud assholes with guns. In that ridiculous fantasy I killed everyone that got anywhere near us and ran with Brooklyn safely in my arms.
I don’t know if it was the lack of sleep or plain stupidity that put that movie version of my fucked-up reality into my head, but I was so wrong. There was no gunfire, no screaming, no blood.
She was there one minute. I could feel her hand in mine and it was real, it was there, she was there. And then she was gone. Like she had never existed.
I didn’t want to leave the spot I was standing on. I was surrounded by hundreds of people who were complete strangers and who I could barely communicate with. There was nothing they could do to help me, and not much I could do to make them understand what had happened.
But I had this horrible feeling that if I left, I would be leaving her. That I would be the one who was responsible for all of this. That I would be giving up on her.
In that moment I was somehow convinced that the only tie I had to her, the only thing that was left of her, was the ground we had both been standing on when she disappeared. If I moved, if I left that spot, she would be go
ne forever.
Some messed-up part of my brain was convinced that maybe if I just stayed there long enough, I would have a chance at getting her back. That it was my only chance of getting her back.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and for one brief second the hysterical part of my brain thought it was Brooklyn. I prayed that it was her. She was calling to tell me she slipped away and found Gina herself. That she was okay and I just needed to meet up with her. She was waiting for me.
I was shaking as I pulled the phone out of my pocket. I wanted so desperately to believe that she was still there. That I had some connection with her. That it wasn’t true that I would never ever see her bright, shining smile again.
I looked on the screen and it showed a text from Gina. She asked if we were on our way. Tears filled my eyes as I looked at the text and accepted that Brooklyn wasn’t going to be calling or texting.
I took a deep breath and called Gina, holding the phone with both hands to try to keep them from shaking because I knew as soon as I opened my mouth and said it out loud my life would be over.
“She’s gone.”
“What you mean, Adrian?” Gina asked.
“They got her. They took her right out of my hand,” I said, my voice shaking uncontrollably along with the rest of my body.
“Who is they? Who took her?”
“I don’t know. My father, the buyer, who knows. It doesn’t matter who took her; she’s going to wind up in the same place no matter what.”
“Where are you? We will come to where you are.”
I didn’t know how to describe where I was, so I told her how long we had been walking up from the docks and amazingly she found me within minutes.
I was still standing in that same spot in the middle of the marketplace walkway with people shuffling past me in both directions, happily going about their lives that didn’t include the anguish of having someone they loved ripped out of their hands.
I stared at that pile of fabric for a long time, blaming it for everything that had just happened. I kept thinking if it hadn’t been there, if that fabric hadn’t caught Brooklyn’s eye, then she would still be here with me. The thought of burning it and that tent around it down to the ground filled my head, but I knew that would help just about as much as killing innocent people with some hope of calming the rage inside of me.
“Come with me to my hotel, Adrian. We’ll talk about this and we will figure something out. Rinaldo says he will help you with anything you need,” she said as she gestured to the man standing next to her. “Do you have anybody that you can call? Anyone you can trust?”
“Yes, I have someone with connections to my father I know will help me. And I’m going to call Lucas, too.”
“Come with me. Let’s go back to my hotel. You can call them there and wait for them to arrive. There’s no use standing around out here.”
I looked into Gina’s eyes and she put her arms around me. I felt so foolish, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave.
“I can’t. I can’t leave this spot. She was right here, Gina. I had her in my arms. I was bringing her to you. I won’t know what to do if I leave. I don’t know where else to find her,” I said, tears starting to fall from my eyes.
“Adrian, I’m so sorry, but she’s not here anymore. We will find her. We will do everything we can to help you find her. But you’re not going to find her here. She is never going to be here again.”
I knew she was right. I knew what I was feeling was completely irrational, but it was the most desperate feeling I had ever had in my life. The feeling that if I left I would be walking away from her forever.
I let Gina take my arm and lead me back to her hotel room. I couldn’t even walk away on my own. She practically had to drag me from that spot.
“I didn’t even get to say goodbye,” I said as I turned and looked back, knowing full well that she wasn’t there, but hoping … just hoping.
With every step I took I scanned the crowd around me, praying I would somehow catch a glimpse of her long golden hair among the sea of black-haired people. But I never did. I didn’t understand how she could have been so easy to take. Someone had to have seen it happen. But I didn’t even know who to ask.
Once we got to Gina’s hotel room she made us some drinks and told me to sit down, but I couldn’t. I paced the room, stopping every few seconds to look out the window, imagining I was somehow going to spot her from up here.
I pictured myself running down to meet her and wrapping my arms around her on the street outside the hotel. It would be something we would joke about later. Remember that time we were in Bitung and I got lost, Adrian? I was so lost, but then you found me and we went back to the yacht and sailed away together. Do you remember that?
I was still standing at the window when Gina handed me a glass of whiskey on the rocks, and as the cold glass slipped into my hand I snapped out of my stupor. I wasn’t going to find Brooklyn by staring out of this goddamned window and wishing she were back in my arms. I had to find her. I had to find her now. I was going to stop at nothing from this point forward, even if it took the rest of my life to find her.
I took my phone started pacing again as Grady’s line rang.
“Grady, they got her.”
“What? How? What happened?”
“We were on the way to meet with my friend, the one who was going to hide her. But they got her. They must have been following us much closer than I realized.”
“I’ll start asking around right now. I’ll get in touch with everyone I know and see what I can find out, if anyone knows who took her. We’ll start looking for her as soon as I get a lead. I’ll meet you there in Bitung. I can get a flight in an hour and be there by tomorrow.
“And I know this isn’t really what you want to hear, but I think you should call your brother. After what you told me he said in that email, I have a feeling he’s more on your side than you think. And he would know, Adrian. If anyone can find out where she is, he would have the best chance.”
“I’m calling him after I get off the phone with you. Thanks again, Grady,” I said as I looked back down at my phone.
I found Lucas’s contact and tapped on his name, and while I was waiting for him to answer my mind raced. After everything that had happened over the last week things were starting to look up, even if it was just a little bit. I was over feeling sorry for myself. There was no way I was going to take any of this lying down. I would die before I let them have her.
“Adrian. What’s up?”
“Lucas, be straight with me. No games. No bullshit. Are you involved in this?”
“Involved in what?”
“I said no bullshit, Lucas! You know what I’m talking about! Brooklyn is gone!”
“Okay, calm down, Adrian. I did not know that. And no, I did not have anything to do with it. Where are you?”
“Lucas, I need your help,” I said, my voice completely breaking. I had thought I’d gotten past the hysteria and the shaking, but hearing the sound of my brother’s voice and knowing he didn’t have anything to do with Brooklyn’s disappearance brought it back full force.
I was relieved, but I still felt so desperate and that wasn’t going to change until I knew where she was.
“I don’t know where to start looking. I’m in Indonesia and someone took her. She just disappeared. It doesn’t even matter who did it. What I need to know is where they took her. Who did Dad have the agreement with? Who bought her?”
“I’ll talk to him. He has no idea I’ve been in touch with you at all. I’ll find out as much as I can and that should give us a pretty good idea of where to start looking.”
“Does that mean you’re going to help me?”
“Yeah, of course. I’ll help you find her. I’ll talk to Dad and then I’ll come get you and we’ll go find her. You know, I never intended for any of this to come between us. You know that, don’t you?”
“Thank you, Lucas,” I said as I hung up the phone. I wasn’t sure what
I believed anymore. But I had no choice at this point other than to believe what he told me.
BROOKLYN
T he first thing I became aware of was the feeling of movement, the feeling of bobbing up and down, like the way it felt on the yacht. That’s where I thought I was at first. I thought maybe I was coming out of a particularly intense sex coma and that thought brought a smile to my lips.
I didn’t want to open my eyes right away. In fact, I couldn’t open my eyes, another physical sensation that made me think I was all safely snuggled up next to Adrian in bed. I felt so sleepy and distant and I could almost feel Adrian’s fingers combing through my hair.
I let myself float in that feeling of bobbing up and down on the waves of the ocean and being cradled in Adrian’s arms, even though I couldn’t feel them around me. I knew they had to be there. Maybe he had gotten up to get some water or maybe he had fallen asleep.
But I knew at any second I would feel the tingle on my scalp as his fingers ran through my hair, or the brush of his fingers on my face as he moved a stray hair back that had become trapped in between my lips.
As I lay there waiting for the touch of his hands to bring me back to life, I tried to remember what we had just done. As I drifted, I tried to picture different moments I had had with Adrian, and my mind crossed them off one by one.
No, that was a week ago when he tied you on top of the barstools with your head hanging over the end of one of them. No, that was the other day when he watched you scrub the tile floor in the kitchen on your hands and knees while you kept your legs spread and your ass in the air.
I smiled at the thought of those past moments with Adrian, but then frowned because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember what it was we had just done to get me to this place of spacy, drifting, bliss. I was starting to have a funny feeling I wasn’t where I thought I was. And as I became more aware of my surroundings, even with my eyes still closed, I started to realize this wasn’t the exact same feeling.
I was more confused than any other time after sex with Adrian. And the fact that I couldn’t remember what had happened started to alarm me. I felt like I couldn’t get my brain to work properly. Instead of calm and spacy and happy, I realized my head felt more like a brick and my mouth felt dry and tasted of chemicals.
