by Vivi Holt
Sarah’s eyes dropped to her hands. “No, I can’t. I miss you all, but I’m married now. I have a new home and a new family.”
“You’re married?” His brows furrowed, and his face screwed up in a grimace of disgust and anger. “Who did you marry? This white man?” He pointed to Thomas, shaking his finger at him.
“No, not him. But he is a white man. A cowboy.”
“A cowboy?” He spat into the dirt beside his pony, his face clouded with anger.
“My name is Sarah Hanover now. And I’m going with these people into Montana to settle. Won’t you please let us pass? They’re good people who have treated me with nothing but kindness. It’s not our way to attack travelers – does the Chief know what you’re doing?”
Bow Bearer sighed and his face returned to its former expressionless state. “The Chief knows what is good for him to know. We will leave you in peace. You know I can’t come against you. And anyway, we were just trying to scare you back into Dakota Territory. The Sioux have been attacking every settler who travels along this trail. It isn’t safe for you, and it makes things more difficult for us as well. The Chief will be happy to know you’re alive. As, I’m sure, will Ky – troublemaker that she is.”
“Please tell Ky that I miss her.” Sarah’s eyes filled with tears and a lump formed in her throat at the thought of her old friend.
He nodded and backed his pony out of the clearing, his eyes never leaving Sarah’s face. In a moment he was gone and before long the sounds of conflict subsided as the braves slipped away into the night.
They were soon joined on the trail by the rest of the crew. Only Coop had an injury, a flesh wound on his left arm. The men jumped into action and quickly laid him on the floor of Sarah’s wagon under the canvas cover. Cookie hurried to treat his wound, letting him ride in the chuck wagon. Once everyone was ready, the herd moved out – slowly this time, in a long thin line.
Finally, it was time for the wagons to move. Sarah slapped the reins down on the horse pulling her wagon, and he set off at a trot behind the advancing herd. Her heart, full of turmoil, was torn. She longed to return to the Crow, to her home. Homesickness filled her soul with a painful longing that sometimes felt overwhelming and other times woke her from deep sleep with tears streaming down her cheeks.
But she loved Bill and her new life. And she knew with certainty that if she did return, nothing would be different. She’d have no one to protect or love her. The Chief would still see her as a bargaining chip to use to bring peace with the whites. With her golden skin and green eyes, she’d never truly fitted in the Crow Nation and had always attracted unwanted attention. Nothing had changed.
And yet, everything had changed. Her eyes landed on Bill, riding beside the wagon on a black gelding. The sight of him filled her heart with joy and a love that brought tears to her eyes and sparked an ache in her chest. She couldn’t leave Bill. As much as she missed the warm wikiups and the storytelling by the fire, adventures with Ky and riding bareback through the prairies, she couldn’t give him up.
She caught his eye and he smiled at her, with a question in the rise of his eyebrows. He hadn’t seen the exchange between her and Bow Bearer, but he could sense something was up. She inclined her head in a faint nod and felt tears prick at her eyes. She’d have to tell him all about it when they stopped to set up camp. She didn’t want Thomas or Genevieve telling him anything before she could. Not that they knew much, since they wouldn’t have understood a word that passed between her and Bow Bearer. Even so, she was sure they had their suspicions and no doubt their questions as well.
She hoped that the braves would leave them be for the rest of the Bozeman Trail, but she wasn’t sure if her presence would afford them that much grace. She knew that Bow Bearer had returned to Chief Mutaweer with news of Sarah’s presence in the group. It would be up to the Chief now, whether or not they would pursue them again or let them pass.
She prayed, as she drove the wagon along the ridges and rises of the Bozeman Trail. Prayed to the God she’d discovered for the first time a year earlier, that the Chief would find compassion for her hidden deep in his heart, that they’d make it through to Paradise Valley without coming under attack again, that perhaps her old friend Ky might track her down. She’d purposefully given Bow Bearer more detail than she’d had to about her name and where they were headed, in the hopes that he’d share the information with Ky and maybe her friend would come looking for her.
She lifted a hand to wipe the tears from her eyes and drew a deep breath into her lungs. They’d find out soon enough how much mercy the Chief intended to show them.
Chapter Twenty Eight
Genevieve poured the fresh milk into a large bucket and laid it on top of a empty box she’d pulled from the back of the chuck wagon. The calf butted its head against her legs, almost bowling her over. She laughed and steadied herself on the wagon bed. Patches’ horns were growing, and she hoped the calf would stop butting her soon. “Come on now, Patches, here’s your milk – no need to be rude.”
The animal drank the milk with vigor, and Genevieve scratched her behind the ears as she watched in delight. There was something very satisfying about watching a calf enjoy a bucket of fresh milk. It was as though all her fears and doubts faded into the background and she could breathe again. She sighed and leaned back against the cold timber boards.
Her eyes roamed around the thicket of juniper, hemlock, spruce and pine. Only the evergreens still held their foliage. The ground was covered in brown grasses, orange and yellow leaves, and looked cold and hard. Every day the air became fresher. The chill of winter had sneaked in on the back of a sultry southerly the previous night while they slept, and all day today she’d been able to see her breath in front of her face. She shivered. Having spent her entire life in Texas, the cold was something new to her. She didn’t know if she’d ever get used to it. And Thomas had said it was just the beginning.
She pulled her coat tighter around herself and glanced up to see the first star sparkle in the sky above. Darkness fell like a heavy cloak over the valley and the shadows of the mountain peaks threw everything into an early blackness, though the peaks were still lit up by the brilliant colors of the setting sun.
Genevieve caught movement out of the corner of her eye. There was something out there – on the edge of the campsite, in the tree line. She narrowed her eyes and focused on the place she’d seen it. In the midst of the foliage, her eyes homed in on a shape. It was a person, a woman! She wore the traditional garb of a native, although Genevieve didn’t know enough about the tribes of Montana to guess which one she might belong to.
Her breath caught in her throat and she was about to cry out a warning to the camp when something stopped her. If this was an attack, there wouldn’t be a woman standing on her own on the edge of camp. She flicked her eyes around the campsite, her heart pounding in her chest, but didn’t see anyone else around. The woman didn’t look as though she meant any harm. She stood, uncertainty clear in her crouched stance, gazing around the campsite. She didn’t carry any weapons that Genevieve could see. It was as if she were looking for something, or someone.
She remembered the way that Sarah had spoken to the brave in the woods earlier that day. She’d had no idea that Sarah could speak in whatever language it was – actually she had no idea what language Sarah had spoken. And she hadn’t had a chance to talk to Sarah about it since it happened.
The shock she’d felt watching the exchange take place had gradually been replaced by relief when she realized that whatever Sarah said to the man had caused him to call off the attack. They were able to continue north on the trail without further any incidents for the rest of the day. If this woman was from the same tribe as the man had been, perhaps she was looking for Sarah.
Genevieve hurried to find her. The last time she’d seen her, Sarah was having an animated conversation with Thomas and Bill behind their wagon. Genevieve had fixed supper with Cookie’s help, leaving them to it, and hadn�
��t seen them since.
She came to the wagon and glanced around. There was no sign of Sarah. She knocked softly on the wood of the wagon bed. “Sarah, it’s Genny. Are you in there?”
There was a rustle of movement and a dark head appeared at the canvas opening at the back of the wagon. “Genny?”
“Come with me,” Genevieve whispered, taking Sarah by the hand and helping her from the wagon. The two women tiptoed from the campsite toward the tree line. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?” asked Sarah.
Genevieve didn’t respond, so Sarah pulled her up short with a tug on her hand. Genevieve turned to face her and for the first time noticed Sarah’s reddened eyes and tear-streaked face. “Are you all right?” she asked.
Sarah nodded, “You’re probably wondering about what happened earlier …”
“I am curious, but that’s not why I brought you out here. I think there’s someone here looking for you.” Genevieve gestured toward the edge of the clearing.
Sarah’s eyes widened in surprise. With a muffled cry, she leaped forward and ran as fast as her legs would carry her to the woman who stood crouched there. The woman saw her approach and stood straight, a smile flickering across her full mouth. Sarah opened her arms wide and threw them around the woman. The two of them spun in a circle, arms and legs entwined, then fell on the ground in a heap.
Their giggles and cries floated back to Genevieve on the still night air. She inched forward, unsure of what she should do. The moment between them was obviously a private one, but who was this woman? For that matter, who was Sarah? Should she leave them and return to her chores, or would Sarah want her to stay close by in case she needed her? She pushed her hands together and wrung her fingers back and forth.
The two women sat opposite each other, chattering and crying. One would reach up to stroke the face of the other, then the other would lean forward and kiss her friend’s cheek. Genevieve’s throat filled with a lump of emotion. She’d never had that kind of relationship with anyone in her life. The emotions the two women shared were so raw, so honest, so vulnerable. She felt almost embarrassed to watch them. It was as if there were no secrets between them, nothing to hide, no shame, no lies, no bitterness, no envy – only love.
She wished that she could experience that kind of love, wished that she could be so vulnerable with someone, anyone. If only she could trust and give and love so wholly the way that Sarah obviously loved the woman in the woods. She stepped backward and was about to return to the camp when Sarah looked up and caught her eye. She gestured for her to join them.
Genevieve hesitated for a moment, then walked cautiously over to the pair. The women stood and Sarah smiled as she approached. “Genny, this is Ky – my oldest friend in the world. Ky, this is Genny.”
“Pleased to meet you.” Ky spoke in a halting voice, her strong accent almost obscuring the words entirely.
“Pleased to meet you as well,” said Genevieve, holding out her hand. Ky took it and shook it uncertainly. Genevieve paused and looked at Sarah, her eyes full of the questions she wanted to ask but wasn’t sure if she should.
Sarah sighed and her eyes dropped to the ground. “I’m not sure where to start, Genny. I know you’re probably wondering about what happened today and who Ky is, but where do I begin?”
Ky said something in her own tongue that Genevieve couldn’t understand. Sarah nodded, then smiled at Genevieve. “Ky says I should start at the beginning, because she wants to know what happened to me after I left her – after I left my home. So that’s what I will do. She understands English pretty well, but doesn’t speak much of it herself, so I’ll use English. Just stop me if you don’t understand something, Ky …”
Chapter Twenty Nine
Sarah drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, pondering what she should say to explain the tumult and adventure of the past year.
“It was about a year ago that I left the Apsáalooke camp. It was my home, where I grew up. Ky was my best friend and the only person who supported me after my mother died. Because I was half-white and looked like a white woman, I caused some strife between the Apsáalooke and the other tribes in the area.
“Chief Mutaweer was determined to form an alliance with the whites, so that we could be strengthened against the attacks that were coming more and more frequently from the Sioux and the Cheyenne. And he wanted to do something to resolve the conflict I was causing. He decided to give me in marriage to a soldier at Fort Smith. In his mind it would solve both problems at once, I suppose. So I decided to run. I didn’t want to marry a man I didn’t know, let alone love, and was determined to make it on my own.
“When I left home, I had nothing and no one. I stole some clothing along the way so that I could blend in more. But everywhere I went, eventually someone discovered who I was. I had an accent and no family or friends, nothing to my name, so I guess it was inevitable.
“I ended up in a quaint village called Cutter’s Creek and some kind strangers took me in. Their names were Sam and Estelle Todd, and they treated me with love and kindness like I’d never experienced before. That’s also when I met Bill. He was so kind and good, so strong and gentle all at the same time. We were married a year ago, and traveled south right after the wedding. And now here we are.” She smiled and wiped a tear from her cheek that had escaped as she spoke.
Ky’s eyes were misted over too and she reached to squeeze Sarah’s hand. She spoke in her native tongue, “I’m glad you’re all right. I’ve missed you so.”
“I’ve missed you as well,” Sarah embraced Ky and struggled to hold back the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. “You have no idea how much.”
“Father knows you’re here. Bow Bearer came back to camp and told everyone that he’d seen you and what you’d said. He’s furious you married Bill. He wanted to put together a raid to rescue you and bring you back home, but the Chief said he wouldn’t allow it. He says we’re to let you pass, that there will be plenty of battles ahead and he won’t pick one with you in the firing line. Whatever happened in the past, my father cares about you, Sarah.”
Sarah’s eyes filled with tears that spilled over and ran down her pink cheeks. “You don’t know how much that means to me, Ky.”
“I have to go now. Father doesn’t know I came to see you and he’ll be looking for me. I just thought you’d want to know that you’re all safe for now. But I also wanted to warn you. Father isn’t well. I don’t know how many more full moons he’ll see. Bow Bearer is set to become chief after Father passes, since he didn’t have any sons. I worry that he won’t forget you, Sarah. He may come after you someday. I hope he doesn’t, but keep it in mind.”
Sarah nodded, her breath coming in short gasps as the tears fell. “Thank you, Ky. I hope you’ll come and see me again sometime. We’re settling in Paradise Valley. It shouldn’t be too hard to find us there.”
“I will,” said Ky, leaning forward to embrace Sarah again. “Oh, and Father has arranged for me to marry Bow Bearer.”
“What?” Sarah wiped her eyes with her sleeve and gaped at Ky in astonishment.
“It’s okay. I don’t mind. He’s a good man, Sarah. I know he doesn’t love me, at least not yet. But he’ll be a good husband. Father wants to keep his blood in the Chief’s line and Bow Bearer sees it as a way to bring legitimacy to his appointment after Father dies.”
Sarah sighed. “As long as you’re happy, Ky.”
“I’m happy. Don’t worry about me. I don’t expect as much from life as you do. You were always meant for bigger things than me. A warm wikiup, a man to take care of me and give me children, a river to swim in, a pony to ride … it’s all I need, all I want. It’s more than some ever have.”
The two women grasped hands, then Ky turned and ran south along the tree line beside the trail. She disappeared from view within moments and Sarah watched her leave, the tears once again streaming down her face. With a deep breath, she turned to face Genevieve, who stared after Ky with confusion written across
her dainty features. She hadn’t understood anything the two women had said to each other and her eyebrows arched in question as she caught Sarah’s eye.
“It’s okay,” said Sarah, looping her arm through Genevieve’s and setting off toward the wagons with her. “Ky says the Chief will let us pass.”
“Well, that’s good news.”
“Yes, it is.”
Sarah glanced back down the trail and saw nothing but darkness in the shadows of the tall trees. She always knew her past would catch up with her sometime. She hoped it wouldn’t endanger her new friends or her husband. But once Bow Bearer became chief, anything was possible.
***
Before she fell asleep that night, Genevieve thought back over the events of the day. A carousel of emotions welled up inside her, remembering how close they’d all come to death. How Sarah had saved them, and the strange meeting with Ky, Sarah’s friend, on the edge of the clearing that evening. She envied the relationship the two women had and wondered about their conversation. Had Sarah told her everything they’d discussed? It certainly didn’t seem that way. Would she be honest with Bill and with Thomas?
Her body ached and her mind drifted – sending her into a dreamland where she was chased by wild creatures that nipped at her heels and tried to drag her down, down, into the blackness of a cold, rushing river.
Chapter Thirty
Thomas stared at the sky with concern. His brow furrowed and his lips pursed as he watched the heavy clouds drifting across the blue sky, turning it to yellowish-gray. Those were snow clouds. They were so close to Paradise Valley and the plot he’d chosen for the ranch house, he could almost taste it.
