Penny tipped her head toward the house. “Come on. Let’s go find out what’s next on the agenda.”
Caroling . . . sleigh ride . . . communion . . . Trevor had never looked forward to Christmas until now. Mostly because Penny Cartwright would be a part of it all.
Chapter 12
EVERY YEAR, IN THE DAYS LEADING UP TO CHRISTMAS, Rodney looked forward to caroling with other members of the Kings Meadow Methodist Church. And although he never would have pressured their houseguest to participate, he was delighted when Dot Reynolds agreed to join him and the others for this year’s Monday evening event.
As the carolers congregated in the fellowship hall of the Methodist church, Rodney escorted Dot from one small cluster of people to another, making introductions. More than one person made a point of saying how much they liked her son, and each time it happened her face glowed with a mother’s pride. In his opinion, she had cause to be proud of Trevor, if for no other reason than his generous spirit.
Glancing across the fellowship hall to where Trevor stood talking with a few others, Rodney said a quick prayer of thanks for the young man. He hadn’t realized what a difference it would make in how he felt, having the extra help that Trevor now provided daily. Help that Penny couldn’t always give. Or maybe he’d realized it and simply refused to accept it. Even he had to admit that stubbornness was one of his less admirable qualities. His orthopedist had suggested it might be time to give up ranching altogether. Either that or hire full-time help so that Rodney didn’t have to do any of the heavy manual labor that a cow-calf operation required. But he couldn’t bear the thought of the first and couldn’t afford the second. Not as things were right now.
As he looked in Trevor’s direction, Rodney saw Penny enter through a nearby doorway. This was one of two nights a week that she worked until the library closed. He was glad she’d been able to get away in time to join in the fun.
The thought of Penny having fun this Christmas season was another reason to be thankful. Only a few short weeks ago, he wouldn’t have thought that possible, despite her efforts to hide the truth from him. But he’d witnessed something ease inside of her in recent days. An answer to prayer.
Penny found him with her gaze, smiled, and waved. Then she started across the room in Rodney’s direction.
At the same moment, the choir director, Hillary Mitchell—a statuesque woman in her early fifties with a no-nonsense attitude and, as everyone knew, perfect pitch—appeared on the small stage at the far end of the hall. “All right, everyone. Settle down. Settle down.” She motioned downward with the palms of both hands. When conversations finally ceased, she said, “We’ll be under way in about fifteen minutes. When the time comes, you will receive a flyer on your way out with all of the songs we will be singing tonight and the order in which they will be sung. Our route will be unchanged from the last few years. If you are new to us, don’t worry. Just stick with the crowd. There will be coffee and hot chocolate awaiting us when we return.”
Penny reached Rodney’s side and slipped her arm through his. “I made it just in time. This is going to be fun.”
Her comment confirmed his earlier thoughts, and that caused more thanksgiving to well up in his heart. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,” he quoted silently, “the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction.” Amen.
“Didn’t Trevor come?” she asked, her gaze shifting from him to Dot and back again.
Perhaps that question revealed the biggest change of all, Rodney thought as he held back a smile.
Dot answered, “He’s here somewhere. Talking to friends.”
Tess’s gaze swept around the small group standing in a corner of the fellowship hall. “Why don’t you all plan to come back to my parents’ house when the caroling is over?” Her eyes settled on Trevor and seemed to hold a special invitation just for him.
It wasn’t as if he hadn’t known from the day they first met that she was interested in him. He’d even enjoyed her company when they’d been together. It had been easy to go along whenever she’d invited him. But this time? It felt all wrong.
“Trevor?” She slipped her arm through his. “What do you think?”
“I don’t know. I—”
She leaned a little closer and lowered her voice. “You can’t say no.”
In that moment, he knew she wanted more than he could give in return. It wasn’t the right time or place. And she’s not the right girl. He looked away, over the heads of the crowd, looking—
“Trevor?”
“Sorry, Tess.” As gently as possible, he removed his arm from her grasp. “I’ll be going back to the Cartwright ranch with my mom when this is over.”
Disappointment flittered across her face, and he was sorry to be the cause. It had been unfair of him to accept her other invitations. Not so much the game night party, with so many in attendance, but definitely meeting her for coffee at The Friendly Bean the previous week. Not once but twice.
Truth was he’d always been reckless with the feelings of others. Especially the women he’d known. But he was changing. God was changing him. And he was going to have to be honest with Tess. He was going to have to let her know that he wasn’t interested in anything more than a casual friendship. No dates. No future plans. At least not with her.
He glanced across the fellowship hall again.
“If you’re looking for Penny—” Tess pointed. “She’s over there with her dad.”
Surprised, his gaze flew back to Tess. Had he been looking for Penny?
With a slight tip of her head, Tess gave him a knowing look. A look that said she understood something he hadn’t discovered yet.
Penny Cartwright? No. He wasn’t interested in her. Not in that way.
Was he?
Hillary Mitchell returned to the stage and announced it was time to get started. Everyone began filing out of the fellowship hall, but before Penny, her dad, and Dot Reynolds had taken more than a few steps, Trevor arrived to take his place next to his mom.
And Penny couldn’t help it—she felt a leap of pleasure at the sight of him. At the sight of him alone. She hated to admit it, but when she’d seen him talking to Tess, she’d been afraid Tess would join them. And, if she was honest with herself, she hadn’t wanted that.
She frowned, bothered by her awareness of Tess’s attraction to Trevor. It wasn’t as if it was a new awareness. It had been obvious ever since the day Tess first saw him at the bazaar in this very same hall.
Her dad leaned close. “Is something troubling you?”
She gave her head a small shake, hoping to chase away her thoughts even as she answered, “No. Nothing.” She forced a smile as she looked up at him. “It’s a beautiful night for caroling.”
“That’s what I thought when Dot and I drove into town.”
“What did the two of you do all day?”
“Not much. She and I sat and visited over coffee for a long time this morning. Trevor came over after getting off work at noon. When he and I were done feeding, he took his mom into town to do some shopping. And the three of us had a quick bite of supper before coming to the church. Did you have time to eat something?”
She nodded, not bothering to tell him it was the other half of the sandwich she’d had for lunch.
Outside, the inky night sky sparkled with stars, like diamonds on a jeweler’s velvet display cloth. The air was cold, and snow crunched beneath their feet as they made their way to Main Street. The instant Hillary Mitchell, walking at the front of the procession, saw the first Christmas shoppers, she stopped. In moments, the group had formed a half circle, three rows deep, and begun to sing “Joy to the World!”
Penny felt a twinge of sorrow, remembering that last Christmas Brad had stood between her and their father as they’d sung this same song in this same location. But then her thoughts were pulled to the present by a voice she hadn’t heard before. A male voice, not overly loud but strong. Rich timbre. Sm
ooth, with just a hint of a Western twang. She guessed who it was, of course, but turned her head to confirm it. Yes, it was Trevor, and she found herself leaning ever so slightly toward him, trying to hear even better. She envisioned her brother, his arm around her shoulders, whispering in her ear, “See, didn’t I tell you he’s great?” Tears welled in her eyes. Her throat closed, stopping the words of the song from escaping. Thankful for the darkness, she tugged on her knit hat, pulling it lower on her forehead.
As the last strains of the carol drifted upward on the cold night air, Trevor looked in her direction. When their gazes met, he smiled at her. But then he must have seen her sorrow, perhaps even guessed why it was there. His smile faded. She was sorry to see it go. Sorry to be the cause of it going.
Their audience applauded, and Hillary motioned for the band of carolers to follow her farther down the street, looking for more shoppers to serenade. All around Penny, her friends and neighbors talked with one another, their voices merry, befitting the evening and the season. Her heart lifted a little.
“Are you okay?” Trevor asked.
She wasn’t sure how it had happened, but Dot and her father were now walking side by side and Trevor was next to her.
“Penny?”
“I’m fine. I was just . . . just . . .” Her words trailed away.
“Thinking of Brad,” he finished for her, barely loud enough for her to hear.
She nodded.
“He told me about this tradition.”
“He did?” It seemed an odd thing for two guys to talk about.
“Yeah. When you’re in a band that tours, there’s lots of downtime, lots of hours in a car or a bus or a van. Talking helps stave off boredom. Brad liked to talk about Kings Meadow and his family.”
She knew that already, but still she said, “He did?”
“He did. I felt like I knew you and your dad long before I got to meet you.”
She drew in a shuddery breath. “I was so angry at him when he left.”
“Yeah.”
“I said things I shouldn’t have said.”
“He didn’t blame you, Penny. He understood why you were upset. Really, he did.”
“Don’t be an idiot, Brad. You’re throwing your life away. All that schooling. All that money to pay for your education.”
“I have to do it. It’s what I’m supposed to do, Penny.”
“You spoiled, selfish . . . selfish . . .” She’d floundered for the perfect word to call him, and when it came, it was one that would have gotten her behind tanned if her dad had heard.
Brad had stared at her in stunned silence for a long while, and when he spoke at last, all he said was her name. “Pen.”
“You’re never going to amount to anything. Not anything.”
She heard the slamming door to her bedroom as clearly now as the day she’d screamed those words. “I was so hateful to him. I wish I could tell him I’m sorry. All of those months . . . I never told him I was sorry.”
“He knew. He loved you.”
Silent tears tracked down her cheeks. Tears that she’d worked so hard to keep in check. There was no stopping them now.
“Come on.” Trevor took her by the arm and gently led her through the group of carolers, not stopping until they were away from lampposts wrapped with twinkling Christmas lights and bright storefronts that invited shoppers to come in from the cold. Not stopping until they were alone in their own little patch of darkness. “It’s okay to cry, you know.”
He couldn’t have known how wrong he was. It wasn’t okay to cry, because there was a reservoir full of unshed tears just waiting for the dam to burst. A sob escaped her, then another. She covered her face with her mittens and sobbed again. And again. And again.
Slowly, tenderly, he wrapped her in his arms, her hands and face pressed against his chest. She hadn’t the strength to resist, even if she’d wanted to. His kindness no longer surprised her. He patted her back with one hand and murmured soothing sounds near her ear. There was no reason she should be comforted—and yet she was. The broken sobs began to subside, although the tears continued to flow for a while.
Trevor would have done or said just about anything to help ease the pain he’d heard as Penny cried in the cold darkness. Her sobs had made him feel helpless. Holding her, letting her cry against him, had been an instinct, but now that he held her, he didn’t want to let go.
This feels right. He looked up at the sky, stars twinkling overhead. But the timing couldn’t be worse.
He was only beginning to figure out a few things about himself and his life and his ambition and his envy and his pride. He was just starting to understand this new relationship he had with God. He had so much more to learn. And one thing he knew for sure. A romantic relationship wasn’t a good idea for now. Not with Tess Carter and definitely not with Penny Cartwright. He could care about Penny because she was Brad’s sister. He could love her like he would love a sister of his own if he had one. But he couldn’t feel anything more than that. That wasn’t why he’d come to Kings Meadow. That wasn’t why God had brought him here. He was convinced of that.
Penny had grown still in his arms, and he realized she’d stopped crying. He took a short step back, needing some space between them. “You okay now?” His voice sounded cold and unfeeling in his own ears.
He could barely see her face in the darkness, but he thought she blinked before answering, “Yes. Yes, I’m okay now. I . . . I’m sorry I lost control. We’d better get back to the others before we’re missed.”
She turned and walked swiftly in the direction of the carolers, never looking back. Trevor wanted to catch up with her. He wanted to apologize, to take her back in his arms. Instead he waited a few heartbeats before he followed. At the back of the group, Penny slipped through an opening to rejoin her father. Trevor chose a different path to get to his mother’s side.
His mom looked up, a question in her eyes. He shook his head and pretended that some of the magic hadn’t gone out of the night.
Brad
2010
TREVOR REYNOLDS WAS THE MIDAFTERNOON PERFORMER on the last day of the festival. Brad had never heard of him before, but he liked what he saw and heard. Liked it a lot.
What he liked even more was getting to meet the singer. Unlike the other performers before him, Trevor didn’t act rushed or disinterested when Brad was introduced backstage. He met Brad’s eyes with a direct gaze and invited him to sit down so they could talk awhile. It wasn’t long before Brad shared—in a halting voice—his private dream of being a drummer in a professional band one day.
“How old are you?” Trevor asked once Brad fell silent.
“Seventeen.”
“Still in high school?”
Brad nodded. “I’m a senior this fall.”
“Are you in a band now?”
“Only the school band.”
Trevor smiled. “Nothing wrong with a school band. That gives you a different kind of experience, and all experience is good.”
“Yeah, but I can’t wait to graduate so I can become a part of something more than that. My dad and sister are all set on me going to college, but I’d—”
“Kid, can I give you a piece of advice?”
“Sure,” he answered with enthusiasm. “I’d love some.”
“Don’t skip college. You’ll regret it if you do. I speak from experience.” The singer wasn’t smiling any longer. His expression said he was dead serious.
But Brad was convinced Trevor was wrong. What difference would college make to a drummer in a country band?
Trevor leaned back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest. His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “Tell you what,” he said after a lengthy silence. “You wait to chase your dream until you graduate from college. If you do that, I’ll make sure you get some auditions in Nashville. If I’m in need of a drummer when that time rolls around, I’ll even audition you myself.”
Brad felt a strange sensation shoot through his body. Mo
re than excitement. More than anticipation. Something even more than hope. Almost from the moment he’d given his heart to God at winter camp, he’d prayed that music, that playing the drums, that being part of a band, would be God’s will for his life. And for the first time, he sensed it might be. A door had been opened. Just a crack for now, but still open.
“Here.” Trevor held out a business card. On the glossy side was his photograph and a website URL, as well as his agent’s contact information. On the plain white back side of the card, Trevor had scribbled his cell phone number and e-mail address. “You keep in touch. Let me know how you’re doing.”
“You mean it?” Brad looked up from the card, eyes wide.
Trevor grinned. “Yeah, I mean it.” Softly—probably not meaning for Brad to hear—he added, “Call me crazy, but I mean it.”
Chapter 13
THE CLOCK ON PENNY’S NIGHTSTAND SAID IT WAS 4:00 a.m. Much too early to be awake. But she’d already tossed and turned for a good half hour, trying to force herself back to sleep. It hadn’t worked.
With a groan of frustration, she rolled onto her side and turned on the lamp. Then she returned to her back and pulled sheets and blankets up to her chin while staring at the ceiling. Although she attempted to turn her thoughts in other directions, they returned to the previous evening, to the moment when Trevor had led her away from the group and folded her into his arms as she wept. It had seemed a safe place for a time. But then he’d stepped away. Not just physically. It had been more than that. He’d moved away emotionally too. Something that had never happened before, no matter how coldly she’d treated him.
I deserved it.
Funny, wasn’t it? She’d done her best to drive him away. Now it seemed she was getting what she’d wanted. And . . . she didn’t like it one bit.
Brad wouldn’t like it either. Brad would want us to be friends.
Thinking of her brother reminded her of his gift to her last Christmas. She pushed aside the blankets and got out of bed. In the minutes that followed, she searched for the CD. None of the drawers in her bedroom produced it, so she put on her robe and bedroom slippers and made her way downstairs to the entertainment center in the living room, pausing long enough to plug in the tree lights. They sent a lovely, multicolored glow into the room.
The Kings Meadow Romance Collection Page 51
