by Joya Ryan
He’ll be the dream and the dirty fantasy...
Through with both her controlling ex and relationships, Ava Webber is determined to explore the spicy and sometimes forbidden appetites of the exclusive BDSM nightclub, Serve. Here, she’ll get exactly what she needs...as long as it’s from a man she doesn’t know.
Nolan Hart ensures that Serve’s clients get what they want, how they want it. But with one look at the curvy brunette, Nolan knows he’s the man to fulfill her desires. As the anonymous lover, he’s Ava’s dirtiest fantasy. Outside of Serve, he’s her charming, smartass friend.
But Nolan wants more. More than Ava is willing to give. And as long as the blindfold stays on, she’ll never discover that the two men she’s falling for are one and the same...
Table of Contents
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Epilogue
About the Author
Also by Joya Ryan… Chasing Trouble
Chasing Temptation
Chasing Desire
If you love sexy romance, one-click these steamy Brazen releases… Staking His Claim
One Night of Scandal
Down on Her Knees
Once Upon a Dare
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Copyright © 2015 by Joya Ryan All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce, distribute, or transmit in any form or by any means. For information regarding subsidiary rights, please contact the Publisher.
Entangled Publishing, LLC
2614 South Timberline Road
Suite 109
Fort Collins, CO 80525
Visit our website at www.entangledpublishing.com.
Brazen is an imprint of Entangled Publishing, LLC. For more information on our titles, visit www.brazenbooks.com.
Edited by Stephen Morgan
Cover design by Heather Howland
Cover art by iStock
ISBN 978-1-63375-276-4
Manufactured in the United States of America
First Edition June 2015
To Stephen,
Thank you for your support and awesomeness!
Chapter One
The leather chair squeaked as Ava Webber shifted in her seat.
Waiting.
She was both excited and nervous about this interview. It was also unlike any interview she’d ever experienced. Process and procedure ruled her life, maybe one reason why a few months ago she’d found it so easy to land a finance job in New York at Wayne Marketing Firm. Apply. Interview. Accept the job. All standard procedure.
Except this interview for membership in Serve was anything but standard. Why would it be? Serve was New York’s most exclusive sex club.
Her nerves flickered with anticipation. Based on the paperwork she’d filled out and the orientation class she’d attended last week, this final meeting wasn’t about crunching numbers, spreadsheets, or analysis. This was about sex. Pure and simple sex.
“This is just another part of the process,” she mumbled as she looked around the office. The lighting was set like something from a castle corridor—soft and illuminating—and the massive mahogany desk in the middle of the room was surrounded by rich leather and wood furniture. All tasteful and masculine.
Despite the many steps it had taken her to wind up sitting and waiting for membership at Serve, nothing would now deter her from the path she’d chosen.
It was time.
Time she truly moved on. Time she admitted what she wanted. Time to go after it.
The moment her lungs filled with oxygen on a heavy inhale, the door opened and a tall, muscled man walked in, flipping through what looked to be her extensive questionnaire.
“Ava Webber?” he asked, eyes fused to the paper.
“Yes.”
He kicked the door shut with his foot, flipped to another page, and frowned. He still hadn’t looked up, which was a shame, because even in the low light, she could tell his eyes were not only the iciest blue she’d ever seen, they were intense. Power and strength radiated from him as he took his seat behind the desk. His big body settled into the chair, and his muscles flexed beneath the thin black T-shirt he wore. Her mouth watered. Just the way he moved was hypnotizing.
“There’s a problem with your application,” he said, and now he looked at her. But the sound of his voice and the finality in his tone made a rise of panic swell in her gut.
“What? No, that can’t be. I read through the entire handbook, and I’m confident I meet every requirement.”
His eyebrows furrowed. He leaned forward and placed his hands on the desk, which did crazy amazing things to those impressive biceps of his.
“You didn’t fill out section three completely,” he said, flipping to the page in question and sliding it in front of her. “For preference in a partner, you put male.”
“Is that a problem?”
He tossed her a lethal grin, and she suddenly felt a little giddy. Whoever this man was, he knew how to work a room—likely a woman, too—and had a special kind of swagger that was gifted from God and well honed over the years. He glowed with confidence and an alpha intensity that matched the gleam of the laid-back charm in his eyes.
“Male is a good start. Narrows the options down by half. But usually I’m given more to work with. Like body type, hair color, eye color—”
“I don’t care about any of that.” Her response seemed to take him off guard, but it was the truth. “All I care about is that it’s anonymous sex.”
He looked at her for a long moment. “That’s a problem. Because see on section five? Sexual preferences, boundaries, hard limits, personal wants and desires?”
She nodded, looking at the section in question. “What’s your point?”
“You put any.”
“I’m aware.”
“As am I. Which is why I’m concerned.”
Ava took a deep breath. Hottie McSexyGrin was grilling her. He was the last step before she could participate in this club. She absently gripped her ring finger. Even with the discarded ring sitting in a drawer at home, she still felt its weight.
She couldn’t lose this chance. She needed a place like Serve. Needed to feel alive again and needed this man to stop blocking her from the path she’d discovered. A path that would finally let her be free.
“I don’t understand your concern.” She tapped the paper. “I’m open to any experience, hence the word.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Yes, I can read, sweetheart. But I’m not sure you understand all Serve has to offer. If you leave yourself open to anything, I can assure you, you just may get that.”
“I see we finally understand each other.”
He sat back in his chair and looked at her with amusement. “In the spirit of understanding each other, let’s go through a list.”
“List?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, you seem to be open to anything, but I need to be clear on your desires, so we’ll start with your pussy.”
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, did I offend you? Or are you not sitting in the middle of a sex club and claiming to be open to anything?”
Great, not only was this guy sex on a stick, he was a smartass trying to call her bluff. Fine, she could play along.
“What is it you’d like to know?”
“Several things,” he admitted, with a heat in his eyes that made her thighs tingle. “Do you like your pussy to be sucked? Fucked? Made love to?”
She held her posture as still as possible. “All of the above.”
“And what about your man? Assuming I assign you one. What do you want to do to him?”
“Whatever he wants.”
He tsked. “Oh sweetheart, that is the best and worst answer you could give.”
“I don’t see how me wanting to please the man you will assign me is a bad thing.”
He grinned, obviously picking up on her determination that she wasn’t leaving without what she’d come for.
“Not bad, just trying to keep your expectations in check. He may decide to fuck your mouth for a while before touching you otherwise.”
“Sounds great.” And it really did. There was something about sucking a man that really turned her on. Not that she was going to go into details about that to the guy baiting her from the other side of the desk.
He shook his head. “I don’t think you know what you’re asking for.”
That’s where he was wrong. She’d thought about this more than he could know, and she knew exactly what she was asking for. Time he understood she was confident in her choice.
“I want to touch him however he’ll let me, and he can have me however he wants. I don’t know how to be more clear than that. Unless you’d like to run through every single scenario?”
The sarcasm in her voice made his amusement fire into something a little more lusty. His shoulders stiffened. She was wearing him down, showing she could handle what she was asking for, and slinging him back a taste of his own medicine.
“Safety is my number one concern here,” he said. “I don’t want to set up a scene or situation for you that you’ll walk away from feeling…” There was a flicker of something sad in his eyes, but it passed quickly and he rasped the last word. “Traumatized.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off quickly. The air changed around him. The sexy comments they’d been tossing back and forth had turned into a serious matter.
“Details are important.” He glanced at the questionnaire. “You’re not giving me any. So the risk that you’ll come out of a scene feeling worse rather than better is too high.”
Shit! She was losing him. He was going to close the book on her and send her packing. It was clear he took his job seriously, and she respected that. Whatever uneasy hesitation had danced behind his eyes a moment ago made her wonder how many times he’d had this same interview. Did people really put down every single detail like hair color?
“What if I give you all the honest details I can?”
“That would make my life much easier,” he said.
She nodded. “Okay. I went to the orientation class and know what Serve offers. You can sit there and ask me questions all day long, but I mean it when I say that I’m open to anything. I also mean it when I say that keeping the sex and any experience under this roof anonymous, including the man I’m with, is my number one hard limit. I don’t want to see his face.”
He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. “Go on.”
“I didn’t come here for an emotional connection. I came for sex. You set up these things, right? I was told you’re the best at what you do. I trust you’ll do that.”
“Why?” he said quickly, his eyes boring into hers. “In all the years I’ve been doing this, I’ve never had less to go on. You want to be at Serve? Want anything? I have to know you’re aware of all the rules and regulations and what you’re asking for. I can’t protect you otherwise. So tell me, Ava…” The way he said her name made chills run up her spine and heat gather low in her stomach. “Why?”
It was the question she’d been avoiding for years. The question she’d asked herself over and over again while she’d been with Peter and he’d controlled every aspect of her life.
Why had she stayed as long as she did?
Why had she let him run her life, take over her spirit, and crush her entire sense of self?
Why had she let him leave her an empty shell after trying for years to please him?
The answer was one it had taken her a while to find: because she was young, trying to be the good wife, and hadn’t known any better. She’d woken up and realized she’d never gotten a chance to know herself.
That was one thing she was set to rectify. She wasn’t his wife anymore. And she wasn’t interested in having any kind of relationship again. It gave the other person too much power.
Since she was eighteen, she’d known only Peter. He’d saved her from her small town, shitty life, and awful parents. In return, he’d controlled every aspect of her life, from how she’d dressed to her career prospects and her dreams. He’d never abused her physically, but the words he’d used had gotten harsher every day, until she’d had barely a shred of self-esteem left.
It had taken her six years to figure out he was slowly killing her soul. And another two years to divorce him and finally, finally move on.
No. she wouldn’t do that again. Wouldn’t trust or love or commit. She just wanted to live. To feel. To be free.
Serve was her saving grace. A chance to experience freedom, passion, and never ever have to risk anything more. No feelings. No emotion. No commitment.
No kind of relationship at all.
Just sex. Healthy, anonymous sex.
But first she had to get past the hulking, sexy interviewer. He wanted to know why? She took a deep breath and reached for the most honest answer she could.
“Every single day I live by rules, a structured schedule, and an outline. In here, I want to just feel. And I want to walk away when I’m done. That may not be a standard questionnaire desire, but it’s my fantasy.”
His blue eyes stayed on her, and goose bumps rolled along her arms. She sat, waiting for his verdict, and hoping to hell she hadn’t just blown it.
…
Jesus Christ, Nolan Hart hadn’t been this shocked since…ever.
The woman sitting in front of him was maybe a buck twenty, with big green eyes, caramel hair, and a completely serious expression. Though she hadn’t smiled, her lips were a perfect kind of plump, which made him think of all sorts of things he wanted to do to that mouth. A mouth that was challenging him and fighting for a place at Serve.
He’d thought she was naïve, tried calling her out and flicking her shit, and she’d matched his every remark with a straight-faced answer.
He had to hand it to her, she was different. But if there was one thing Nolan understood, it was rules. His whole job—his whole life—was built around them. He protected people, and he couldn’t do that without full cooperation. It took only one instant for things to get out of hand, a scene to be taken too far, and a woman to be hurt. In his entire time at Serve, that had happened only once, but it had haunted him ever since.
Though it had happened years ago, he still thought about that woman’s tears. About how he’d set her up with a Dom too rough for her.
He hadn’t known it was too much for her, and even though the asshole got kicked out, it was still no excuse. No one got hurt on his watch. Serve was about pleasure, kink, and exploration. Above all, it was consensual.
Which was why Ava was going to be a problem. Because she was zeroing in on every kink he had…which was right in line with what she wanted: everything.
“I’m not a vague man,” he said for himself just as much as her. He glanced at the one word she’d scribbled on the questionnaire:
Anything.
Yeah, this was a big fucking problem. She didn’t know it, but she was tempting him in a way no one ever had before.
“So, what would you put on your questionnaire?” she asked.
Wasn’t that a loaded question. Because if he were honest wit
h himself, he’d put the same damn word she’d just used.
“This is about your wants and desires, sweetheart, not mine.”
There was a hint of a smile and a soft blush. She was obviously strong and knew what she wanted, yet there was an air of innocence to her. Everything from her curious gaze to her body language sent him on alert to conquer, pleasure, and protect.
A couple of instincts he needed to get under control real fucking quick.
“I told you my fantasy. You haven’t even told me your name.”
“Nolan,” he said, a little raspy.
Shit, the woman was getting to him. Because he didn’t care about the outer details like body type—though he was starting to be partial to slightly petite with incredible features and long honey hair—but he was still tempted by the thought of his fantasy wrapped up in a tight little package of sexy curves.
“Nolan,” she repeated.
That was all it took. He was a goner. The way she said his name made him want to hear her moan it, scream it, whisper it, all while she was on the brink of coming and shuddering like she couldn’t take anymore.
Except it wouldn’t be for him. It’d be for whoever he picked for her.
“Many men here have certain kinds of preferences,” he tried again, hoping to get some more information on what the hell kind of partner he was supposed to find for her. “Some won’t be gentle. Some like inflicting pain. Some like receiving it.” He raised his eyebrow. “Some want to dominate.”
“All of that’s fine. Is there a man that can do all that, depending on his mood?”
He frowned. Was she fucking kidding? “A lot is possible. But the men around here are typically specific with their wants—something I’m trying to get from you.”
“I want to be consumed. In any way he wants to take me. Because the minute I step out of the scene, it’s over and back to the real world.”
It suddenly hurt to breathe. That sounded right up his alley. She wanted to get lost, taken over, but not in the real world. There wasn’t a man alive besides himself he’d trust not to abuse that privilege.
Then an idea struck him:
Why not me?
She wanted what he’d happily give her. In this short time, he’d already gotten a good sense for her. He could read her body, expressions, and cues.
