by Mia Caldwell
And that would be that. Momma fooled. Time to move on.
Amara had called Quint as soon as it was confirmed she was in labor, and that was over a day ago. He told her to do her best to hold the baby in until he got there. It was a silly joke, of course, but it lightened her mood until another contraction hit.
And it turned out, as one hour led to another which led to another, she’d needed all the mood lifting she could get. She’d gotten a few texts from Quint in the early hours, but nothing else. She thought something must have been keeping him from his phone, if that were possible, because she knew he was excited about the birth, and concerned about the baby’s health.
And he’d shown concern for Amara, too. She’d probably never been in better health in her life thanks to Quint’s attention and encouragement during the pregnancy. He’d actually said once that he couldn’t even think about the possibility of anything bad happening to her because of their bargain.
So why hadn’t she heard from him again? She’d texted and tried to call to tell him the baby was born, but she’d gotten no response.
The plan had been for him to be there before she delivered, and he should have been, even though he’d been forced to travel overseas so close to her due date. Quint had worked it out so that in his private jet, he could get from wherever he was and back to the hospital in well under a day.
It had been too long since she’d heard from him: no calls, no texts, no emails, no messages from his assistants or attorney. It made no sense. Something wasn’t right. It took everything in her to push the worst from her mind.
At the same time, she struggled with the ethical implication of something having gone wrong. What would that mean for her and the baby?
A soft knock at the door pulled her from her melancholy window gazing.
A pretty, middle-aged nurse entered, wearing a warm, wide smile. She clasped her clipboard in both hands expectantly. “Hello, Miss Davis. Everything has been taken care of, if you’d like to see your baby now. Are you ready?”
Damn. Amara’s heart flipped over in her chest. No, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.
All it took was hearing the nurse referring to the baby as hers to break Amara’s tenuous hold on her composure. The idea of seeing her child immediately blurred her vision with tears. She couldn’t think of what to say.
Why was she having to say anything? Where the fuck was Quint?
She muttered half-incoherently. “N-no, that’s … that’s all right. I need a little while longer.”
The nurse gave a deferential nod and tucked the clipboard away, behind her back. “I understand, Miss Davis. When you’re ready to see your son, press the call button there, and I’ll be right in, okay?”
Amara gave a slight nod and turned her gaze to the deluge outside. The nurse left the room without another word, gently closing the door behind her.
Raneesha touched her arm. “Are you okay? You’ve been acting so strange. I know it’s got to be hard on you. You don’t have to go through with the adoption, no matter what they might say.”
“I know, Momma. It’s not that,” Amara said in a hollow voice.
“You carried that baby, same as I carried you. Your father was never around, either, and we did just fine. With your education and fine job at the university, you won’t have problems supporting a child. And I know you’d make a wonderful, wonderful mother.”
Chapter Eight
THIS PRAISE EARNED RANEESHA A hard look. Amara had been resisting the persistent attempts to get her to reconsider from not only her mother, but occasionally from Kari as well.
“Momma, this isn’t the same. I don’t have a lifestyle that would allow me to be the kind of mother I’d have to be, not with all my work and traveling. I’m going to do what’s best for the baby. Being with me isn’t it. I told you, I …”
She took a quick moment to regain her composure, her gaze now cast down to her hands still folded over her stomach. “I can’t talk about this right now, please. The adoptive parents should’ve been here a while ago. I’m waiting for them.”
“Well, I’m going to see the baby. Say what you want about getting attached, I wanna see my baby girl’s child.” Raneesha stood and leaned over to kiss the crown of Amara’s head. “It’s all right. I know this is hard on you. You’ll be okay no matter what happens. Momma’s here for you.”
Amara gave a soft nod. “I know. Thank you. I’ll see you in a little while. I’m gonna try to get some sleep.”
Raneesha made her way to the door. “Goodnight, sugar. Rest up.” She closed the door gently behind her as she stepped out.
Amara heaved a heavy sigh of both relief and distress. She wasn’t used to turmoil like this, normally leading an uneventful life of teaching and long hours of solitude in a laboratory. And she wasn’t used to having to lie about her life, especially to her mother.
With her associates and colleagues, it was easier. Their assumptions about her pregnancy made her more than content to let them keep believing whatever they pleased.
Raneesha was a different case. Every time Amara didn’t correct her, every time she withheld the truth of the pregnancy, guilt swelled in her heart, and she was full to bursting now.
In the last few months of her pregnancy, she’d taken to avoiding contact whenever she could. She knew that her mother would never understand the bargain Amara had made, no matter how important it was to her. As for her coworkers and compatriots, she knew they’d never be able to respect the sacrifice she’d made — and it was for the best, as far as she was concerned.
There was a quick rapping at the door. It swung open and Kari breezed into her room, a much-needed breath of fresh air. She smelled of paint, turpentine and rain.
“Hey there!” Under her arm, she clutched a large cardboard box. “I got back as fast as I could. It’s storming like crazy out there. I brought you some stuff.” Her eyes darted around the room before she spied the food tray and smiled widely. “There we go.”
She placed the box on the tray and pulled out a smaller box. “Okay, here’s the big one. An essential oil diffuser! My yoga instructor uses this exact kind all the time in our class.”
She hurriedly unboxed it, her excitement making Amara smile for the first time, it seemed, since she’d gone into labor.
Kari quickly had everything set up. “I got patchouli, which helps to balance mood, lavender to calm and soothe, and orange to uplift and energize you.” She turned to Amara after switching it on with an expectant smile.
Amara inhaled deeply. She could still smell the slight scent of disinfectant under the prettier scents, but it was a huge improvement. “Lovely. Thanks, Kari. You always know how to cheer me up.”
It was exactly like Kari to think of something like this. Her grin grew wider with the thought of Kari telling her that her chakras weren’t in alignment or something. She was a wonderfully eccentric woman, and they’d always complemented each other.
Kari nodded eagerly. “Yep! That’s why I’m here. I know it’s a rough time, but you can count on me, just like I know I can count on you. That’s what best friends are for, right?”
She bustled back over to the box and pulled out a large, irregularly shaped, fluorite crystal on a gold chain. Fluorite had always been Amara’s favorite stone, humble and common as it was. “And a healing necklace, too. I made it myself.”
“It’s wonderful. Thank you.”
Kari brought it over and slipped the necklace over Amara’s head, placing the crystal beneath her collarbones. The golden thread spiraled around the crystal, terminating in a small healing symbol. Amara was never into Kari’s hodgepodge spiritualism, but it was still a wonderful, heartfelt gift.
Kari bounced on her toes, giving a quick motion of her head back toward the box. “The only other thing left in there is a gift certificate for a big day out at the Tranquility’s Abode spa for the two of us. It’s been way too long since we’ve done something like that, and I thought you could use a little pampering
after all you’ve been through, you know?”
Amara’s hand came up, fingers lightly trailing over the crystal as she nodded. “Yeah … I could use something like that, I think. It might be a little while until I’m ready to go, but it will give me something to look forward to after … after … you know.”
Kari eased herself down into the chair beside the bed where Raneesha had been sitting. “No problem, sister. I’ve got you. Anything you need. I talked to Jaslene, and she said she’ll come back later tonight to give your mom a chance to go home and get some rest. Between all of us, we’ve got you’ve covered.”
Amara’s throat tightened.
Kari patted her hand and rushed on. “There’s something else for you to look forward to, by the way. They announced the winner of the Carrington Award yesterday. Congratulations, friend. You won.”
“I did? Holy crap. I never imagined …”
“It’s true. Everyone’s talking about it at school. This is the biggest award for the university in a long time. You’re the toast of the campus. The dean is probably already printing out notices to the alumni along with donation forms.”
Amara smiled weakly. “Probably. The guy never misses a fund-raising opportunity.”
And neither did Quint, Amara thought. She knew he was the one who’d nominated her for the prestigious award and had campaigned for her with all the Carrington Board members.
The Carrington Award was given out annually for scientific advances which led to a significant contribution in the service of humanity. Amara could hardly believe she’d won. It was an honor that was usually only awarded to older researchers after a lifetime of work, and never before to someone in the agricultural sciences.
In many ways, she knew, Quint had earned this award for his ceaseless efforts on her behalf.
“And so you know,” Kari added, “Frederik is raising holy hell everywhere he goes because he wasn’t named as a partner in the award. He’s now claiming that he was responsible for what you did.”
“Of course he is,” Amara said. “Please tell me no one’s listening to him.”
“Oh, they’re listening to him, and then they’re snickering behind his back. He’s a joke after all the lies he spread about your work, and no one’s forgetting it. Anyway, good for you, Amara. You deserve this award. And I get the cachet of being your best friend, so that’s cool, too.”
“It’s been a crazy few days, huh?” Amara checked her phone. Still silent. Where was Quint?
“Hey, you,” Kari said. “I want you to know how proud I am to be your friend. You’re really amazing and strong and smart and everything I wish I were.”
“Kari, you’re all those things —”
“Not like you, Amara. You really inspire me and lots of people to be better, you know? To reach for something bigger and accomplish something that matters and will last.”
Hearing that, Amara’s eyes teared up, and the dam holding back her emotions cracked, split in two. “I don’t deserve your praise.”
“Of course you do.”
“No, I really don’t, Kari. I’m giving up my baby, but I don’t really want to. I’m a bad person.”
“That’s ridiculous. There’s nothing wrong with giving up a baby for adoption. Hey, don’t cry. It’s okay. You don’t have to give him up if you don’t want to.”
“Oh, Kari. I have to give him up. But I really, really want to see him. And at the same time, I don’t. Once I hold him, I won’t be able to let him go. I read a lot about that. Momma’s out right now to see him, and even that’s hard to take.”
Kari studied her thoughtfully. “If you’re having second thoughts, you should take some time to rethink everything, you know? Once those final papers are signed, and the baby’s with the adoptive parents, you’re not gonna be able to change your mind. I looked into the adoption laws and everything. You only have a few days to reconsider before you can’t do anything about it.”
Amara’s lip quivered slightly, and she lowered her head. “I … I don’t know if the law applies in my case. It’s complicated.”
“What do you mean, complicated? It seems pretty simple to me. You’re not ready for a child, the father’s out of the picture, there’s a nice, well-to-do couple who want to adopt, and you might be having second thoughts. It couldn’t be more cut and dried from where I’m sitting.”
Amara needed someone who understood everything, someone who knew the true story of her bargain and who could advise her. She’d been wanting to tell Kari for so long, but part of her was uncertain about how Kari might react, afraid her friend might think differently about her after discovering the pact she’d made with Quint Forbes.
Amara took a deep breath and was calmed by the scents Kari had brought into the room for her. She couldn’t hold the truth back anymore.
Before she could stop herself, she began to confess. “Oh God, Kari. I haven’t told you everything. The truth, about everything. There is no couple, and the father is very much in the picture.”
Chapter Nine
KARI’S EYES WIDENED, AND SHE inhaled sharply. “He is? But you said —”
“Wait,” Amara interrupted before Kari could say anything else. “It’s a whole different thing, and I couldn’t tell you because it’s … irregular. There’s this guy I knew, that I know, and he wanted a baby, so I did the insemination thing for him. I don’t have anything to do with him outside of that. We talk on the phone and text and email and stuff, but we don’t actually see each other, not often. He travels a lot on business.”
She took a quick breath then hurried on. “So he’s been taking care of me and everything. Even my personal bills have been picked up during the pregnancy, so I could just focus on my research and on taking care of myself. He sends me these emails. I think maybe he’s talking to Dean Wilson, because the dean told me to teach fewer hours. He’s so handsome. No, not Dean Wilson. The man who I’m being a surrogate for. He’s really rich, by the way.”
Kari was literally gaping at Amara. She seemed to want to say something, but no words came out.
Amara kept going. In for a penny, in for a pound, as her mother liked to say. “The baby’s going to have a wonderful life, Kari. I just … I can’t do it myself. You know I never had plans for children. My work is my child, and the children I’m trying to feed are my focus. I made a bargain to have his child.”
Kari’s eyes couldn’t get wider. “Oh, gods … seriously? What kind of bargain? What do you get out of it?”
“Funding … for my work. It’s how I was able to keep going after Frederik sabotaged me last year.”
“Holy handmaidens,” Kari said. “I’m really … wow. All this time?”
“Do you think I’m a terrible person? I don’t know. It’s like I sold my baby or something. I keep thinking I’m terr —”
“Stop it right there, Amara Davis. You’re the best person I’ve ever known. And I can’t let you beat yourself up like that, even though I’m a little pissed right now that you kept all this from me. How could you do it?”
“I really needed the money, or I would have had to stop all the trials and —”
“Oh, I can see why you would make the bargain. You were thinking about all those starving families out there, weren’t you?”
Amara nodded and sniffled.
“Yeah, I can see you doing that. But you didn’t tell me! How did you keep such a secret from me all this time?”
“It was so hard. I wanted to tell you all the time.”
“But you didn’t. I don’t know what to think about that.”
“I’m so sorry, Kari. I really am.”
“Well, at least you’ve finally told me now.”
“You hate me, don’t you?”
“What?” Kari goggled at her. “That’s stupid. Of course I don’t hate you.”
“But you think I’m a bad person for doing what I did … having this guy’s baby for funding?”
“Of course I don’t.”
“You don’t know
how much it means to me that you don’t think I’m a bad person.”
Kari leaned over and gently hugged her. “Don’t start crying, or you’ll get me going.”
When they’d gotten themselves under control, Kari got straight to the point.
“So,” she said, “where the hell is this guy? You said that the adoptive parents were supposed to be here right when the birth happened. I’m guessing it should have been this man.”
“I don’t know where he is,” Amara said. “He was supposed to be flying in yesterday, but he hasn’t been responding to calls, texts, emails, nothing.”
Amara leaned forward, winced, and leaned back again. “I know he wouldn’t simply run out on the deal. Not after all the trouble he went through and all the time and money he spent to make sure everything went smoothly. It wouldn’t make any sense.”
Kari’s brow jumped suggestively, accompanied by a wide smirk. “So, a rich guy, huh? What’s he like? Is he hot? You have to tell me all about him. Was he a good lay? He better have been, for all this trouble.”
Amara quickly waved a hand, her cheeks hot. “It wasn’t like that. All done artificially. No sex or anything. I mean, he’s hot — really hot — but it’s not like that between us. It almost was once, a long time ago, but that’s in the past. Now, it’s strictly a business relationship.”
“Right. Sure. You are the most tight-lipped —”
“I know that must seem pretty strange, but it’s true. He’s drop-dead gorgeous, too. Icy blue eyes, tall, with dark hair. If we didn’t have our differences, I’d have opted for the more traditional route to pregnancy. But this was a business deal.”
“So you said. How did that happen, anyway?” Kari asked.
“Here’s the thing. And hear me out before you jump to conclusions. He approached me the day I lost all the funding for my research. You remember that day, right?”
“Of course.”
Amara explained how she’d met the man in Dean Wilson’s office, and what had led up to the offer of the business deal. “In short,” she concluded, “he offered to fully fund my research if I would bear his child and relinquish my parental rights.”
