Out of the corner of her eye, Lucy spotted the woman from the night before. Instead of greeting her, Lucy made fast work of the stairs. She found herself out of breath as she entered the kitchen.
“Can I help you with something?” Thelma was preparing travel mugs of coffee for herself and Jessie. They wouldn’t be too far, but there was an exhibit at the tiny museum. The one Jessie had taken her on one of their dates. Thelma felt guilty for not spending more time with Kathy and Candy but had a feeling the two wanted their own romantic time together.
“Just dirty dishes and more coffee.” Lucy placed the plate in the sink before making her way to the coffee maker. She hesitated for a moment before refilling her cup. After a tentative sip, she turned toward Thelma. “What do you know about Dallas?”
Thelma had suspected there was something between Dallas and Lucy. She’d been in the dining room when Lucy had rushed away at the sight of Dallas. “Honestly, I don’t know much, other than she’s from Montana. And that she helped when Miss Geraldine was nearly ill.”
Lucy hadn’t had much interaction with anyone, besides the owners and Dallas. She knew Allison was from Michigan, but had no idea where Geraldine was from. “I guess I’m just having trouble believing people can be accepting. Where I come from, it’s hit or miss.”
“I remember.” Lucy’s head tilted in question. “I was born and raised in Michigan. I had conservative parents. They weren’t there for me growing up but didn’t cut me out of their will. Still don’t know why.”
“I have a great mother. She’s watching my store. My dad left when I was a preteen. I’d already realized I was bisexual.” Lucy hated saying it aloud, but it needed saying. Why? Because it was part of her issues. “I think it’s why he left. Mom wanted me happy, no matter what. He wanted a “true daughter”.”
“Sadly, stories like that are the norm, rather than fully accepting.” Thelma shook her head. “That’s part of the reason I decided to open this bed and breakfast. With Jessie’s support, of course.”
“Always good to have support.” Lucy finished her freshly poured coffee. It was good, but she needed to hold off on anymore caffeine. “I’m just wondering why, even though Dad left and Mom stayed, I have such issues trusting.”
“I can tell you stories about trust.” Thelma placed the travel mugs in the reusable carrier. “Most I’ve been involved in only wanted my money. So I shut myself off. It took a lot of convincing to even allow Candy as my friend. And then when someone a decade and half younger than me attempted to seduce me…”
“I don’t have money.” Lucy decided to live life on the edge. She refilled her cup of coffee. “I mean, my store does ok. But it can’t compete with the big corporations. I think my biggest issue is being left behind.”
“Like your father leaving you.” Lucy nodded. “I’ll tell you what a wise woman once told me. You have to follow your heart. Even if it means merely allowing for you to be hurt, you have to try. If you don’t, you’ll be forever alone.”
Now Lucy sighed heavily. She knew Thelma was right. If she were to discover a lasting friendship, she needed to place herself on the line. “Mom keeps trying to tell me that. I have some thinking to do. Or distractions would be nice. Any good books in the study?”
Getting lost in a good book. Thelma didn’t have as much time for it as she once did. But she had the perfect selection. “There’s a fairly unknown author I’d recommend. The Road To Forever. It’s by Candy Kane.”
“Is Candy your friend?” Thelma nodded before making her exit. It could be boosting a friend’s work. Or it could be Thelma truly enjoyed the words. Either way, Lucy decided to look up the title.
It would keep her preoccupied. Yet, Lucy would be able to take breaks and allow her thoughts to wander. She hastily transferred her coffee into a travel mug, before making her way to the study. Lucy had a mission. To distract herself.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Geraldine had wanted to spend the entire night with Allison but could not bring herself to. After making certain she was freshened up, she had stood outside of Allison’s door. Her hand shaking as she attempted to knock, an untold amount of times.
It was the coward’s way out for Geraldine. She had written a note that had explained how she blamed herself for Allison’s injuries and was too guilty to actually face her. She asked forgiveness and hoped they could remain friends.
After having slipped the note under Allison’s door, Geraldine had made her way to the kitchen. Not hungry, she knew she had to eat something. After all, it was part of why Allison had been injured. Because her friend hadn’t eaten properly.
Not being able to face the orchard, Geraldine had decided to ask if it was all right to take a horse off the grounds. The young man who had called to the main house had said it was more than all right, especially for the cowgirl.
So now it was the familiar scents of horses and open country for Geraldine. Her sense of direction was pretty decent. The fact there weren’t that many turnoffs on the winding clay road was a plus.
Her mind couldn’t settle. How had it come to this? Geraldine was angry. Yes, she was angry at herself for being a coward and not being able to face Allison, even after she had made herself ‘presentable’.
Why was Geraldine angry? She was angry with a world that didn’t accept those that were different. From what others thought of as evil. There were too many to name, but so many religions teach hate. Or was that what the extremist want you to believe?
Geraldine’s father and brothers fit into that category. They were Christians who were in church every Sunday. They would go to every church social. They would donate and help those they considered worthy.
But when his child came begging for assistance and tolerance, what did he do? Geraldine’s father slammed the door in her face. It had taken months for her mother to convince him to even allow Geraldine in the main house. It was how she had become accustomed to sleeping in the stables with the horses.
The beeping of the horn startled Geraldine. She nearly lost control of her horse. Normally not one for profanities, she let several fly, as she reined in her horse. The driver flipped her the bird as it sped by.
“Get a grip.” Geraldine decided she’d ridden enough. It hadn’t changed her mood any. Or the fact she remained upset she had caved to being a coward once again.
The horse’s speed increased and Geraldine allowed it. It was rare she allowed herself to go all out. But today, she felt she needed it. To push herself beyond her limits. By the time she made it to the stables, she and the horse were sweating and out of breath.
As soon as she landed on the ground, Geraldine hated herself for having abused the poor horse. It would take several moments of walking the horse to cool it down.
The time crawled by. Geraldine’s mind wouldn’t stop with all the times her father had said or done something that proved how hateful he was towards her. She could not silence her mind, no matter how much she attempted to.
“You all right?” Geraldine literally jumped at the sound of the voice. “I’ve been looking for you since breakfast. When Thelma checked on Allison, she asked about you.” Jackeline maintained her distance.
Geraldine continued to walk the horse. Soon, she would have to face the consequences of her actions. Or inactions, as it were. For now, she wanted to continue to live in a world where she was accepted and loved.
“No answer?” Jackeline waited patiently. She knew patience was more than a virtue when someone was as angry, unhappy and uncertain as Geraldine was. The early years of transitioning were the most difficult.
Finally, Geraldine led the horse back to its stall. Still, she remained silent. First, she wiped the horse down before she began to brush it. It wasn’t as therapeutic as it normally was, to her utter dismay.
“You disappoint me.” Jackeline picked up one of the brushes. She wasn’t certain what to do. To the best of her abilities, she mimicked Geraldine’s actions. “I would have thought you’d at least per
sonally have checked on Allison.”
Geraldine couldn’t help herself. The brush nearly splintered she threw it so hard. “Welcome to my fucking life!” Geraldine’s cheeks were the color of a vine ripened tomato she was so angry. “I’ve disappointed everyone, except my mother. And if she knew how I’ve been acting, she’d be disappointed as well.”
Jackeline gently returned the brush to its proper place. “Young lady, you watch your mouth.” Geraldine closed her eyes tightly. “I don’t just mean the swearing. I mean putting yourself down. You have enough people in life to do that for you. You need to bring yourself up, not down.”
It was true. Geraldine knew it was. But how many years of her own family putting her down…Yet, her mother only loved and supported her. “I try.” Geraldine made her way to the bale of hay. She couldn’t help but collapse.
Tears were forming. They would be expelled. Normally, she would hate herself for allowing these kinds of emotions to show, but she was at her limit. It wasn’t surprising when she felt arms wrap around her from behind.
“Shh.” Jackeline knew a good cry was sometimes needed to cleanse the soul. Sometimes needed when a fresh start was in order. “You let out all the hate, frustration and disappointment. Just feel the acceptance, encouragement and love.”
The words caused Geraldine to cry even harder. If she wasn’t careful, she would begin to hyperventilate. Only her mother had shown her such support. Perhaps, there were people in this world that could, and would, accept her.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Allison was still in bed. Her head ached, but not to the point where it would inhibit her moving around. So why did she remain in bed when it was nearly lunchtime? Because she was feeling sorry for herself.
It hadn’t been that long since Thelma had checked on her and handed her the note. Allison had thought Geraldine was better than that. But then, she didn’t know the cowgirl at all, did she?
The young woman was angry at herself. If only Allison had remembered her snacks…No, she couldn’t do that to herself. She had to remember we all make mistakes. But sometimes, it wasn’t easy to forgive one’s self.
Perhaps Allison had to remember that when thinking of Geraldine. Perhaps it was as simple as her friend not being able to face her. Sadly, Allison hadn’t had any friends since childhood. She could barely remember what it was like.
There was Rick, but he wanted more. Allison could text him to see how things were going. To see if she was needed. But it would be a waste of her savings. Why should she leave if Geraldine turned out to not be the person she thought she was?
The soft knocking on her door surprised her. Allison hastily made herself presentable, before answering the door. Once again, Thelma was at the door. Thelma had insisted on checking on Allison before leaving for her date. “Come in.” Allison stepped aside so that the innkeeper could enter. “Is everything ok?”
“I came to ask you that question.” Thelma had offered to send for a doctor. There weren’t many that made house calls anymore, but she would have sought one out. “You seemed in better spirits this morning when I brought you the light meal.”
“Thank you again for that.” Allison kept the door open. For some reason, she didn’t want to be alone with Thelma. “I’m physically doing a lot better. Just a little stiff and a minor headache. I even feel a bit hungry. I just don’t know if I’m ready to face anyone.”
“You mean face Geraldine.” Thelma would have to be cautious. She knew from her own experiences saying the wrong thing could make her run. Someone as skittish as Allison could have the same results.
“There’s that.” Allison crossed her arms over her chest. “Not only did she leave a note asking how I was, I sense she’s hiding something.” Allison noticed how Thelma refused to look her in the eyes. “You know what she’s hiding, don’t you?”
“If there was something, it wouldn’t be up to me to tell you.” Thelma knew it was admitting there was something. But she couldn’t betray Geraldine’s confidence.
“So there is something.” Allison was angry. Now, she was no longer angry at herself. She was angry with everyone in the bed and breakfast who knew what was happening and wasn’t being honest with her.
“You are angry. Your vacation isn’t going as you’d thought it would. And you had thought you had a friend. So I get being angry.” Thelma slowly made her way towards the door. “The thing you have to ask yourself?”
Allison watched every move Thelma made. Her arms remained across her chest. She wanted to hear what this stranger had to say to her. What did she have to ask herself? What made Thelma the expert on life?
“Are you someone who accepts yourself?” Brown eyes grew wide. She hadn’t been expecting that question. “I only ask because if you can’t accept your true nature, you’ll never be able to accept anyone else’s true nature. Lunch will be served in another half hour. If you’re brave enough.”
Thelma didn’t wait for a response. Instead, she hastily made her exit. She did stop at the top of the stairs. The slamming of the door was her response. It was up to Allison now. As it should be.
A deep breath escaped Allison. She understood why Thelma had said what she had. In Michigan, she lived in an area that wasn’t as accepting as some. She’d even dreamed of transferring stores so she was in a safer environment.
But Allison was comfortable at work. She could joke and was accepted. But had she ever accepted herself? She’d only had one girlfriend. Well, there were a couple she had had via the internet. Not that they didn’t count. It was just they were private. Ones she never even told Rick about.
If she couldn’t even be honest with Rick about her relationships, how could she be honest with herself? Allison shuddered at the thought. The best way to begin accepting herself was to be around those that didn’t care how you identify yourself. That accepted one and all.
Another heavy sigh escaped Allison as she made her way to the dresser. She would change before making her way to the dining room. It didn’t matter who was there. What mattered was she attempted to make things right.
Not with Geraldine, though Allison did want to speak to her. It was making things right with herself. After all, this vacation was about getting away from work. But it was also about being true to herself.
It wouldn’t be easy, not even in a place that was accepting of all people. Allison stood at her window for a few moments. Lunch would be soon. Though she was supposedly decided, was she ready?
The sight of Geraldine walking towards the entrance to the bed and breakfast caused Allison to swallow. She was attracted to the cowgirl, of that there was no doubt. But could a friendship and attraction lead to something more?
()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Kathy had done something she had never done before. She had talked with a stranger via the computer. Before she had met her wife, she had never had a cellphone. She had been old school and had a beeper. Plus, she had lived at the fire station. She had not needed a cellphone.
As far as computers, Kathy left that part of the business to Candy. She was literate as far as the business side of computers, but for personal use, she remained clueless. And didn’t mind it being that way.
What Kathy took away from the conversation she’d had with a stranger was she had direction. Her goals were attainable. Plus, she had someone who would help her, if need be. And it was all because of Melissa introducing her to her daughter.
The former firefighter was accustomed to such things. Kathy had lived a life of chance, in a way. It wasn’t merely the chances she’d taken as a firefighter. It was the chances presented when meeting Candy.
There was also the fact Kathy had taken a chance on helping Jessie and Thelma. Of course, she had been persuaded by Candy in that endeavor. Nearly anything Candy so wished Kathy would do.
What did Candy wish now? Kathy was waiting to discover that. She was in their room on the first floor. There were only two rooms on the first floor. In fact, they had one of the most pr
ivate rooms in the entire bed and breakfast.
Sadly, they would have to return to Albany once again the next day. A weekend getaway that had been interrupted. Even though there were many to run the store, including Candy’s Aunt Irene, Candy insisted on being there most of the time.
The barking caught Kathy’s attention. Rocket was playing favorites. He did that from time to time. In a way, in the beginning, Kathy had been jealous of how readily Rocket had taken to Candy. Now, she enjoyed sharing their furbaby.
Kathy didn’t hesitate in opening the door to their room. Rocket nearly knocked her on her back. He was as spirited as ever. As was his other mom who was following closely behind the puppy.
“Was your conversation with Sam promising?” Candy was toting a picnic basket. It was something they used to do, from time to time. Unfortunately, life was getting in the way of maintaining the romantic side of their lives.
“I believe so.” Kathy kissed her wife on the top of the head. “I see that you’ve been busy.” She took the picnic basket from her wife. “I take it we have plans for lunch, other than spending it with strangers?”
“I know you’ll be so disappointed.” Candy laughed at the growl that ensued. She knew her wife. Kathy hated being around strangers. The bookstore/café was one thing. But in the intimate setting of the bed and breakfast…
“I made all the treats inside. Though it wasn’t easy. Between Thelma and her two cooks, they are protective of the kitchen.” Candy was once again laughing. Her best friend, Sammy, was the same way.
“Let’s go.” Kathy knew her wife would continue to tease her if she didn’t make certain they were on their way. If the gazebo was unoccupied, it would be where they shared their lunch together.
It wasn’t long until they had made it to the gazebo. Kathy spread the blanket on the floor, while Candy began sorting through the goodies she’d prepared. Rocket, of course, was attempting to help both his moms.
The shouting interrupted their meal. Before either could corral Rocket, he was off. They both took off as fast as they could. When they made it to the front of the bed and breakfast, there was a small contingent of what could only be described as protestors.
Kindling Page 9
