A smile like no other spread across his face. He was sure that I was going to turn him down, but I loved what I saw when I looked in the mirror and I wanted to show myself off.
“First, we’ll go to dinner at a sexy new spot that I just found and then, well let’s just play it by ear.”
That was fine with me. He hadn’t given me any reasons to distrust him so I was ready for whatever.
I felt like the super star that I came out to L.A. to be when we pulled up to the restaurant. Breeze seemed to know everyone and they all seemed to have tons of respect for him.
“Damn, Breezy, you always have something sexy on your arm. I can’t wait to see what this one can do. When’s her movie coming out?”
I had to remind myself that because I was with him and dressed like a stripper, people would know what I was. It felt strange, disgusting, and excited all at once. I looked around and noticed a lot of eyes on me. I tugged at my dress and couldn’t stop. Maybe if I tried in vain to make it longer people would look away.
“Stop fidgeting with your clothes. Try to relax; people are looking at you because you look good, Jazzy. Try and enjoy it,” Breeze said to relax and enjoy things so much that he should have coined the phrase. He was acting as if I grew up in the same over exposed world that he did. Shit, I still hadn’t wrapped my head around what lead me there. But I still did what I could to please him that night. I spoke when spoken to and smiled and laughed when the situation called for it. I couldn’t understand what was going on. I felt so good about myself in the hair salon, but now I just felt like I looked like an out of place kid who everyone could tell was playing dress-up.
“Come with me Jazzy.”
Once in the unisex bathroom, Breeze took me to the mirror and made me look at myself.
“Isn’t that the same person who was in the salon today?”
“Why are you doing this to me, you know the answer to that question just as well as I do,” I said as I looked away from my reflection.
“So why aren’t you acting like her. I didn’t bring up out for you to shrivel up like a dying rose, I want you alive. I want the girl who had a back bone and a badass attitude to go with it.”
“It’s just that—”
“It’s just what? You’re in L.A. Jazz, there are going to be bad bitches everywhere you go. You just have to find a way to stand out and take control of whatever room you walk into. You look just as good as all of the other females out there, now all you have to do is act like it.”
All of his bullshit was starting to blow me. I didn’t know that fucking on film was going to bring me all of this grief. I just wanted to ride a dick, get paid for it, and go home. Now I had dude in my face trying to change me to what I thought that I could never be.
“Tell me this, Breeze; do you breathe down the backs of every bitch that walks through your office doors the way you are doing me? What does this mean to you and how will this help me suck a dick and cum on cue?”
For a brief moment I thought that I had taken Breeze over the edge. His face scrunched up and he looked like he just took a big whiff of a pile of shit.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Do you really think that I am trying to mold you into a porn star?”
“That’s what it seems like. I just wanted a job; I don’t want to lose myself in your world.”
“I don’t give gift like these to just porn stars. I gave you the gift because I am interested in you. I like the fact that you’re not just another well put together Barbie who has no brain.”
“So quit trying to change me. Don’t get me wrong, I like the makeover but I still want to be me. If I am not comfortable in this revealing getup then you will just have to be okay with that. I may get used to it but then again, maybe it’s just not for me. Just relax and enjoy me.”
He smiled at me turning his own words against him. But he would not give up until I saw things his way. I wasn’t seeing the big picture. And as far as that night, he was going to get me to loosen up one way or the other.
After dinner, we drove to the next location with hardly any words spoken. Me in my thoughts and him in his, but once we got close, he asked me what my drug of choice was.
“I’m not into nothing heavy; I just smoke a little weed when I need to get away from the world, why?”
“It’s like a candy store in there when it comes to drugs so I just wanted to make sure that you’re not a recovering drug addict or something.”
Although he was joking I knew that the porn game held a lot of drug addicts behind its velvet and torn ropes.
“Nah, I’m good, where are we anyway?”
“It’s called the Devil’s Den. Now, there are some things that I gotta tell you about this place. First off, you’ve never been here, period. I don’t care how many times you end up coming here, you’ve never been here. Got it?
“Okaaaaay, now you’ve got me curious. What’s in there that could be that bad?”
“Second, don’t ask too many questions. If someone sends you a drink, drink it. If someone asks you your name, you answer with the number that is given to you at the door. Remember it because it will be yours forever. The last two important things to know are these rules. If you see anyone famous, forget that you saw them, and if someone touches you and you don’t like them, walk away and don’t make a scene.”
“What is this place that you have brought me to? This doesn’t seem like somewhere I want to be, Breeze. You’re talking about numbers and people touching me, shit, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were people in there with mask on.”
“You might see that as well.”
I sat in his car shaking my head in disbelief. There were so many things going on in this world that you may never know about unless it smacks you in the face, the way it had done me that night.
“Man, fuck this shit, Breeze, I think that there are just some things that I don’t want to be involved in. I’m about to lose my fucking mind over here. Maybe this is just too much too soon.”
“Bitch, what the fuck is your problem? Are you that fucking small town? I’m trying to show you how we live yet every step I try to make you take to move forward you insist on standing still. I’m about to be tired of your bullshit, Jazz. Get with the fucking program or get your ass out of my car and walk the fuck home.”
“What, you don’t think that I would walk? Fuck you and your fucked up lifestyle. You may be the son of the so called porn king, that doesn’t mean that you have to be such a spoiled sick little shit.”
I hopped my ass right up out of his car. I may have been “small town” as he called me when it came to back way secret sex dens, but I was “Big City” enough to let his ass hear what I really thought about him and his way of life. I walked to the nearest bus stop as I cursed myself for leaving my cell phone at home. My mind floated back to my drunken ass mother. Even in her drunken stupors, she used to manage to tell me to always make sure I had a phone with me. She may have killed me with her words every chance she got, but she didn’t want me to ever be in a situation where I couldn’t call her for help. I thought about the time I went to a party with a date who thought that he was going to get some. He got rough with me, which forced me to knee him in the balls and run to the bathroom. I called my mother and sure enough, she drove her drunk behind to that party and walked up to the bathroom where I hid.
*****
“Show me that low-life motherfucka that has to rape a bitch just to get a nut. I’m a cut his little dick off and feed it to him.”
“Let’s go home, Ma, things are bad enough.”
“Aww, bitch, fuck you. I didn’t drive all the way out here to just pick you up. I wanna know who he is, Jasmine. I’m not going no goddamn where until you point him out.”
Sure enough, she pulled out a chair and sat her ass right down. She asked one of the party goers for a drink and told them to party on, but no one did. The music had stopped and all eyes were on her.
“What the fuck is everyone looking at? I don’t
give a shit, I’m not leaving. I wanna know who he is so if anyone else knows, speak up, since that little bitch over there got lockjaw,” she said, speaking of me. Then she started to laugh uncontrollably. Everyone looked around wondering if they had missed the joke.
“Come on y'all, that shit was funny. Here she is, scared to give up the goods and I say that she has lockjaw; hahahaha.”
The more she laughed the more the crowd got it. After her and most of the partygoers shared a laugh, she got back to business.
“I know that yah wanna get back to the party, just point him out and I’ll leave…after I teach his ass a lesson.”
People looked around but no one spoke up, then out of nowhere, the offender stepped forward.
“It was me, bitch. Ain’t nobody trying to rape that little ho of yours. I just tried to get the pussy that’s all. It ain’t my fault that she’s crossed legged and tight lipped. She knew what went down in those rooms before she stepped foot in it.”
“Now that’s a good one, crossed legged and tight lipped, I’m a have to remember that one. But here’s something that you didn’t know,”
The whole room gasped as she moved fast, and as if she didn’t have a drop of alcohol in her system. I never saw her pull out the butcher knife, but we all saw her holding it to my date’s neck.
“What you don’t know is that I raised her to keep shit locked away from sorry ass little dick niggers like you. If we were back in Puerto Rico right now, I really would make you suck your own stinky dick, but luck is on your side. I’m not going to be put in jail for a little shit like you. But, do me a favor, the next time you think of trying to snatch a kitty that hasn’t been offered to you, remember this face and knife. Think of what I would have done if I wasn’t in America. Then, back the fuck off.”
The crowd was frozen with fear and anticipation. I walked over to my mother and put my hand on her shoulder, hoping to calm her down. I prayed that she didn’t forget where she was at and let the wannabe rapist really feel the sharpness of her knife like he deserved.
“Come on, Ma, I think that he’s got the picture, don’t you Kenny?”
Kenny never did respond but we all smelled his answer.
“Now, lookie here, he really is a little shit. He done went and pooped on himself. Goddamn nigger, you smell like death ran over on a hot summer day.”
Like a choir, everyone let out a roar of laughter. Kenny just stood there too embarrassed and scared to move.
“Now see, I was gonna cut your ass a little bit just to leave you a visual reminder of what not to do, but you shitting yourself will leave a mental scar that not even this knife can do. Party on people, cheers to all of you, and as for that little shitter that you have amongst you, maybe someone should help him home, he’s starting to attract flies.”
The crowed all put their glasses and beer cans up and toasted the brave drunk woman who looked like an inebriated queen. And from what I heard, Kenny never did get that assistance home. He just got kicked out of the party on his shitty little ass.
*****
“Jasmine, what the hell are you doing, you were really going to take the bus home?”
Breeze walked right up to me without me even noticing.
“What are you doing here? You gave me no other option, and I don’t take too kindly to ultimatums.”
“Get your ass in the car. I’ll drive you home.”
I wasn’t getting into his car until I heard an “I’m sorry”. Plus it wasn’t going to be the first time I had to take the bus so it didn’t take any sweat off of my back.
“Why must you be so damn hard headed? You act like all of the things that I have done are for me. I am trying to upgrade your lifestyle. I am trying to introduce you to the porn world in style. Do you think that everyone is as fortunate as you are? Most women end up fucking in a shitty little motel room for five hundred dollars a pop. Most don’t get a contract and more than most don’t get the treatment that you’ve have received.”
“At what fucking price?”
“At the price of becoming a star, at the price of making real money, at the price of being booked for dance clubs, strip clubs, and movie signings all year long. At the fucking price of being the best at what you do Jazzy. Most pray to pay a bill that would give them those results.”
“I don’t ever want to be a slave to money. I don’t want to sell my soul to the devil just to end up in hell.”
“So why do this at all? You’re sitting there looking down your little brown nose as if I’m asking you to turn down a Hollywood movie deal to fuck on film for me. The women who are in this business that are at the top of their game knew to leave all of that bullshit behind. They knew to say fuck the world and all of their straight laced views. They knew that they were coming into the game to make some money and to have fun doing it. If you can’t do that than just let me know. I’ll tear up your contract and you give me back my money.”
He knew he had me. Most of the money was spent and without porn, I wasn’t going to be able to pay it back any time soon. But beyond that, his words were true. I was still thinking like a girl who didn’t sign on the dotted line yet. I was acting as if I had a choice in my near future. I would have to let go of all of my inhibitions and learn to live life the “porn way”.
“I’m still taking the bus home. I thank you for all that you have done and all, but no one talks to me the way you did. I got enough of that from my mother.”
“Come on, Jazzy, I’m sorry for blowing up. I will take you home, but if I could ask one thing of you it would be great.”
I did get the apology that I was waiting for, plus I was just tired of fighting. I just wanted to spend time with the Breeze that sent me spinning. The more I looked at him flashing me that sexy smile of his; I wanted to still be with him, in his presence.
“What is it?”
“I really like you and I want you to know that I wouldn’t do anything that would be detrimental to you or your career. Just come with me to the Devil’s Den. If it’s too much for you then we can leave.”
I didn’t say no. His voice begged me to be open-minded and to see the world through his eyes. I came to the conclusion that maybe my vision had been clouded for long enough.
*****
“Your number is 9785. All we need now is a picture and you are free to go in.”
I stood in front of a red wall and waited for my photo to be taken. I felt like I was in one of those weird French movies that I loved to watch. The ones where the main character is a member of a sex club that only the underground freaks knew and loved. It was dark and smoky with mostly all good looking people. There seemed to be a lot of foreign rich people of every color and that was just the entrance where you received your number, if you were lucky. From what I gathered, you had to know someone or be able to pay a lot of money just to get past the first checkpoint. After that, you went to what was called a viewing room. There the money that you just paid or the person who was a member that you knew meant nothing. There were two people who determined if you got in and they scared me. They sat in chairs that looked like thrones and just gawked at you. They spoke so low that I was only standing about a foot away from them and still couldn’t hear a word.
“Let’s go,” Breeze said, as he took my hand and pulled me toward a heavy, metal door. It had two big black men who looked like they ate the undesirables for dinner.
“How do you know that it is okay for me to go in?” I didn’t want to go anywhere near the entrance to hell unless I knew that the devil gave me permission.
“The green light above their heads gives the okay, that’s where my dad got the idea for the make-up room.”
I let Breeze lead me through the doors without a fight. It had just hit me that this place ran deep through his bloodline.
“Your dad comes here, too?” I asked in disbelief.
“He co-owns it with Vivianna and Carmine.”
“Who are they?”
“Don’t you mean what?” he a
sked this with laughter, but I left it alone. They both scared the shit out of me and that’s all I needed to know. I didn’t even ask if he was joking or not.
Stepping into the Devil’s Den was like entering another world. The furniture was black and the walls were the color of blood. The lights were dim and the likes of Maxwell, Sweet Back, Sade, and The Brand New Heavies spilled out of the speakers, filling the air with an aura of sex, and it seemed to be in every corner that I looked.
“People come here to be free, to do the things that they are too scared to do out there,” Breeze said pointing at the doors that we just walked through.
“How can they do those things with a club full of people?”
“You’re gonna be doing them in a warehouse full of people and you’ll be getting paid for it, and that’s the only difference. They are doing it because they enjoy it, because it feeds whatever sexual appetite that hungers them. You will be fucking for a check, but hopeful you will get to where these people have already gone.”
He had me there and to tell the truth, watching all of the club goers go at it turned me on.
Once seated, Breeze ordered an apple martini with a twist for me and a bottle of Patron for him and me, if I wanted some.
“I didn’t know that you could twist an apple martini.”
“Everything comes with a twist in here Jazzy.”
I enjoyed him kissing and nibbling on my neck before something took my attention away from it.
“What’s in there?”
There was a door that was painted a brighter red than the walls. I watched a woman who seemed to be the most beautiful creature that I had ever seen walk in with a man flowing behind her. The man in the suit seemed to be in the same trance that I was in. She was like the diamonds that Breeze had given me earlier that day. She seemed to sparkle and shine even in the all-black outfit that she had on.
“That room is called The Immortal Palace. I never go in there, it’s a little too out there, even for me.”
I was stunned. I didn’t think that nothing was too over the top for the porn prince. When the waiter came back with our drinks, my mind was still on the member’s only room, but I didn’t mention it again. If it was too much for Breeze, then I know that it was going to be way too much for me.
PORN STARS... More Than Just Moans Page 8
