by Abby Brooks
“I'm not.”
“Sure you are. Of course you are. I know it bothers you that you broke your word. But come on, Julz. For one thing, I’m basically just an extension of you, so there’s no way you could have not told me. And for another, you were in a pretty shitty situation and needed to talk. I’d have been pissed if you ended up losing your shit or getting hurt and you’d never told me.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Juliet said with a smile. “I suppose you want me to tell you you’re right or something.”
“Nope. I want you to tell me all about this guy. What’s his name again?”
“Ian.”
“Listen to you,” Willow said happily. “You can’t say his name without gushing.”
“I’m not gushing.”
“You most definitely just gushed. That was a gush if I’ve ever heard one.”
Juliet laughed and flipped over, and a bead of sweat worked its way down her neck and in between her breasts. “Well,” she drew the word out, not sure how much she really wanted to share. Part of her wanted to keep Ian all to herself rather than share him with Willow. “Let’s just say that I’ve been happier in these last few days than I’ve ever been in my life. Ever. I love it here. And he makes me feel…” She trailed off, not sure what word to use that meant all the things he made her feel.
“And there you are, still gushing.”
“Fine. I’m gushing. He’s awesome enough to make me gush.” And scary as hell, she thought, but didn’t say.
“Well, I’m happy that you’re happy. But Julz? Do me a favor, okay? Be careful. Don’t rush into another mistake.”
Of course Willow would echo her exact sentiments. “I will. I mean, I won’t. I mean, I’ll be careful and I won’t rush in,” she clarified as Willow laughed on the other end.
“Sure. This from the girl who’s already moved into his house and spent a night in his bed!”
Juliet didn’t have a good response to that, not one that made a lot of sense anyway. They chatted a few more minutes. Willow told her about the latest party she’d been to and Julz realized she really didn’t miss the frenetic energy of the city at all. Just listening to Willow’s story exhausted her. She’d take a slow morning and the rush of the waves over the hectic rush of living in New York any day.
Chapter Nineteen
Holy shit. Juliet Lane might be the hottest woman Ian had ever slept with. So eager, so willing, so unrestrained. And yet there’d been moments when he’d worried he was being too rough with her. She’d tried to pull her wrists out of his hands when he’d first pinned them over her head on the door. She’d relaxed right after, even told him yes when he’d asked if she liked it when he took control. But then she’d yelped when he’d slapped that sweet ass the first time, and he’d sworn that there’d been fear in her eyes when she turned around to look at him. Of course, he’d made sure that fear had dissipated, made sure to take the sting away and make her feel good and, oh boy, had she reacted well to that.
Ian sat back in his recliner and kicked his feet back, took a swig of his beer and watched the moon rise over the ocean. Couldn’t stop himself from wondering if Juliet was sitting in her living room, those long legs tucked underneath her, watching the moon rise, too. God, she was beautiful. As if she had been crafted exactly to his specifications. That long brown hair, those wide brown eyes, those perky little tits, and that silky skin that felt so damn good under his hands.
Well, maybe she wasn’t made exactly to his specifications. He had kept things pretty tame last night and she hadn’t exactly seemed comfortable. Holding her wrists above her head? He would have loved to tie her down. One or two little slaps on that ass? He could have taken a whole evening, alternating between spanking her cheeks red and sliding his fingers into her wet pussy, bringing her to the brink of orgasm only to pull his fingers out and slap her again. Mixing pleasure with pain until she was a quivering mess of sensation. And then he’d fuck her until she came all over his dick and he came, gloriously, inside her.
Just thinking about it made him hard. He adjusted his pants before taking another swig of his beer. His gut kept telling him that Juliet Lane wasn’t a broken little bird, too scared to push the limits of her sexuality, but her reactions last night hadn’t exactly made him feel comfortable that he was thinking with the right head. He would just have to find out how far he could go with her. Just push her a little farther each time they were together, make sure she always came first. Make sure she always knew he would take care of her and keep her safe. And then bring her to the very limits of sensation.
If she wouldn’t let him take charge, if she wasn’t willing to experiment, well, that would be pretty damn disappointing, because Ian was the way he was and he couldn’t change that. He liked his sex rough and his women pliant. He’d share the pleasure he got from making her pliable, give Juliet the best orgasms of her life, but if she couldn’t trust him, then he couldn’t be with her.
And that thought brought his hard on crashing down because he really liked being with Juliet. She made him laugh and laughed at his jokes in return. She was clearly driven, capable of taking care of herself, but something told Ian she didn’t like having to do it all herself. That she’d love to have someone step in and take the reins. And if that’s what she wanted, then Ian was the one to do it. He’d wrap his arm around her shoulders and guide her through the hard parts, protecting her, caring for her, keeping her safe.
“What the hell?” he asked his empty living room. “Slow down, Moore. Cart before the horse.” He drank the last of his beer and clinked the tip of the empty bottle against his chin. If he was having thoughts like that, he was definitely going to have to find out if Juliet could handle his more demanding sexual appetites sooner rather than later. He couldn’t let her get any further into his heart if she wasn’t going to be a good match from him.
Good thing was, he’d have one hell of a good time finding out how far he could take her.
Ian wandered into the kitchen for another beer, his mind circling with thoughts of Juliet, alternating between how much fun he had being inside her and how much fun he had being with her. For whatever reason, he zeroed in on the fear he thought he’d seen in her eyes when he’d spanked her and he stopped dead in his tracks. He’d seen that fear before. In the pictures he saw online of her with Michael Phillips. The same pictures that showed just the faintest of healing bruises, probably invisible to most people. But Ian wasn’t most people.
Anger clenched his jaw and tightened his hands into fists. Had Phillips hurt Juliet? Had he left those bruises on that delicious body? Had he left that fear in those soulful brown eyes? Damn it. That changed everything. If she’d been hurt like that before, he couldn’t just try to test her limits for his own pleasure. He needed to know what she’d been through. He needed to know how she’d been hurt.
And if Phillips had hurt her? Then her reactions last night only proved that Juliet did trust Ian. That she was willing to go where Ian could take her, and damn it, that only made him want to be with her more. To erase the scars left by that asshole. To show her what it was like to be with a man worthy of trust. He thought back to the pain that had flashed on her face when they discussed her parents this morning. The way she took having nothing in stride, drinking her damn coffee out of a bowl and smiling about it.
How many years had she navigated murky waters all by herself? That indomitable spirit keeping her afloat when so many other people would have sunken down into the depths of despair? Ian swiped a beer from the fridge and twisted the cap open, tossed it onto the granite counter and took a long drink as it clinked towards the sink. Whatever she’d been through, however hard it’d been, he was going to make it better. He was going to take her hand and guide her to shore, give her more reasons to flash him with that radiant smile.
Chapter Twenty
Juliet did greet Ian in her bikini the next morning. He had an armful of bags and boxes that he just put down the moment he stepped inside her house so he could swo
op her up.
“Well good morning to you, too,” she said, giggling as he carried her up the stairs.
“Oh, I'll make it a good morning, alright.” Ian tossed her on the bed and went about doing just that.
Later, with her hair all mussed and her body all relaxed, Ian led her back downstairs and showed her what he'd brought—a whole kitchen's worth of pots and pans, plates and dishes, and an entire cupboard full of coffee mugs.
“I take care of the things that matter to me,” he said over her protests. “I even brought some stuff for Chopper.”
“I thought you didn't like Lulu.” Julz emphasized the dog's proper name.
“Of course I like her. She brought us together, didn't she?”
After taking the time to carefully arrange all the things Ian brought her, they headed back outside to start on the deck again. Juliet felt joyful as she worked. So joyful that she found herself humming time and time again and had to remind herself to keep quiet so as not to annoy Ian.
It was on the third day working out in the sun, their bodies glistening with sweat and sunscreen, that he asked her not to stop. “What’s that you keep humming?” he asked.
“Just something I made up when I was a kid. Sneaks up on me sometimes when I’m happy. Sorry,” she said, swiping a hand across her brow. “I’ll stop.”
“Don’t you dare. It makes me happy, too.”
That was four days ago and the thought still made Juliet smile. Another one of those real ones, the kind she didn’t have to create, the kind that simply showed up all on its own. This morning, she was out on the completely redone back deck, greeting the sunrise with Lulu. Standing on the freshly stained wood, satisfaction rolled through her. She had done this. She had helped pry away the rotting boards and replaced them with new, strong wood. Yanked rusted nails out and driven solid ones into place. She had rebuilt this, well, helped rebuild it. Ian had guided her through the process, giving clear instructions, laughing off her mistakes and helping her make them right.
It was way more symbolic than she could handle. The deck a not so thinly veiled metaphor for her life. And with Ian there? Helping her, so strong and kind. Telling her how to succeed...
It was dangerous. Dangerous enough that her heart yearned for him when he wasn’t with her in the evenings. And she wasn't supposed to yearn for anyone, right? She was supposed to be able to do this all on her own. But the more time she spent with Ian, the more she believed he was nothing but good for her.
She felt stronger. In all ways. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and after days working outside, physically, too. Her body was harder and darker while her soul was lighter and damn, if that didn’t feel good. The crunch of tires on her driveway brought another huge smile to her face. Ian was here and that sent her heart leaping out of her chest and those wonderful butterflies fluttering around in her belly. She ambled around the deck to greet him and frowned to see his M4 instead of the truck.
“Mornin’, hot stuff,” he said as he unfolded his long frame from the small car. “I hate to say it, but you’re gonna need to change.”
Confusion danced around in her head, the change in routine making her uncomfortable. Was something wrong? Was he about to drop some terrible piece of bad news in her lap now that she was finally starting to feel good and happy? “What’s up?” she asked, her hands coming to her hips.
The smile that blossomed on Ian’s face settled the concern a little. “It’s a surprise. Go change. No skirts. And wear sneakers.”
No skirts? Sneakers? What in the world did he have in mind? She opened the door and Lulu burst through, raced right past her and yipped happily at Ian’s feet. Juliet heard him chuckle and pick the dog up and couldn’t help but giggle to herself when he called her Chopper.
Her wardrobe choices were still pretty limited. Ian had kept her busy with the renovations and she hadn’t even started looking for a job, yet. She sighed. This little vacation from reality was going to have to come to an end sooner rather than later. She hadn’t had to dip into her cash envelope much, just for food, but knowing there was a consistent outflow of money without a consistent inflow made her nervous. But, as usual with Ian, now was not the time to think about that. She chose shorts and a tank top, checked the mirror and pulled her hair back into a ponytail, smoothing back the fly-aways and wishing she knew where they were going.
“I didn’t know what to put on,” she said as she rejoined Ian outside.
His eyes swept over her and the hunger in his gaze set the butterflies whirling again. “You’re perfect.”
They put Lulu in the house and locked the door. Ian pulled Juliet in for a kiss, his hands roving her body, their tongues slow dancing as they stood in her driveway with the sun blazing to life behind the house. He pulled her closer, pressed her hips forward and she moaned.
“I could stay right here all day,” he said, pressing his forehead to hers.
“Me too.”
“But we can’t.” He pulled away and guided her to the car, opening the door for her and closing it once she’d tucked her feet inside.
“Where are we going?” she asked as he pulled out of the driveway and headed in the opposite direction of Bliss.
“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.” Ian used what Juliet had come to think of as his Navy voice. It was firm and confident, slightly lower and colder than the way he usually spoke to her.
“If you killed me, we couldn’t have all this fun together anymore.”
Ian laughed, his gaze bouncing between Juliet and the road. “You make a good point.”
“I always do,” she said and gave him a little shrug of her shoulders.
The drive was long and winding and once again, Juliet found herself considering leaning across the seat and giving him a blow job while he drived. What was it about this guy? She’d never, not once, done such a thing and here she was contemplating it in broad daylight. For the second time.
“Talk to me, Goose,” Ian said, interrupting her thoughts with his favorite Top Gun quote. “Where’s your head?”
“In the gutter.” She gave him her best wicked smile.
“Right where I like it.” Ian let his eyes flicker over Juliet’s face. “Feel like sharing?”
“Not really.” Juliet said it but didn’t mean it. She just wasn’t sure she’d actually be able to say what was on her mind.
“Well that’s not good.” Ian frowned. “I want you to feel comfortable telling me anything.”
“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”
“And see? We’ve come full circle. If you killed me, we couldn’t do whatever it is your dirty little mind is working on right now.”
Juliet pretended to consider his point. “I’m not sure I’m brave enough to do what my dirty little mind is working on.” She was on the verge of telling him, looking forward to the shock that would play across his face.
“That’s why you’ve got me. To hold your hands through the scary parts.”
Something warm and welcome blazed through Juliet’s heart. How did he know how to make her feel so good? “But if you hold my hands, I won’t be able to do what I’m thinking about doing.”
Confusion pursed his eyebrows. Juliet had learned that Ian loved to figure things out. He didn’t want to be given the answer, he liked to find it himself. She waited while that quick mind of his worked through what she’d said and when realization dawned across his face, she dropped her gaze and smiled up at him through her lashes, a blush flaring hot and pink across her cheeks.
Ian smiled at her, an exhilarating mix of shock and pride. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”
“Sure am.” Juliet sat back, filled to the brim with self-satisfaction. It looked like Ian liked her idea as much as she did and when she ran her hand up his thigh, stopping for a second to squeeze the strong quadriceps encased in his jeans, she got the encouragement she needed when she felt the hard bulge at his crotch.
Ian sighed and dropped his head back to the he
adrest, his hands clenched tight on the wheel. “As much as I’d love to see how far you’re willing to go here, you’re gonna have to stop.”
Embarrassment crushed the little flare of excitement in Juliet’s heart. Had she misread his reaction? “I’m sorry,” she said, snatching her hand back.
“Don’t be.” Ian rolled his shoulders and blew air out of his mouth. “I’m all for what you had in mind, you dirty little thing you, but we’re getting close to our destination and I can’t go in anywhere looking like I do now.” He glanced down at his jeans, the outline of his erection clear and distinct. “The things you do to me should be illegal.”
That sweet edge of satisfaction worked its way back into Juliet’s chest and she sat back in her seat with a sigh. “Ditto.”
“That’s all I get? Ditto? Dang. And here I thought I was rocking your world.”
“You leave me speechless. You’re lucky you even get a ditto.”
“And see, there you go, making another good point.”
Ian slowed and flicked on a turn signal. Juliet looked around, trying to get an idea as to what they were doing, but they were in the middle of nowhere. The tires crunched into a long driveway surrounded by wide open fields, but Juliet wasn’t looking at the fields anymore. She spun in her seat, eyes fixed on the sign by the road even after Ian drove past it. “Skydiving?” she squeaked. “We’re going skydiving?” She couldn’t keep the panic out of her voice.
Ian looked at her with a mix of enjoyment at the surprise and concern at her reaction to it. “Yep. You said you were curious. And for a woman who told me she’d be a bird if she could, well, there’s no doubt in my mind you’re gonna love this.”
“Ian! I don’t … I can’t…” Fear twisted in her belly. Sure, she loved the idea of skydiving, but the reality of it? She’d learned her lesson about the difference between fantasy and reality the hard way with Michael and she wasn’t interested in learning it again.
