Karen nodded. ‘‘Until tomorrow, then.’’ The big man tipped his battered Stetson while Dyea Joe took his hat off completely and gave her a little bow.
After they’d gone, Karen turned to Bill with a smile. ‘‘I can’t thank you enough for helping me. I was beginning to worry about you, however. I thought maybe we were going to have to send a search party out for you instead of Father.’’
Bill looked away as if he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t. ‘‘I know it wasn’t very thoughtful of me. But by the time I got up Sheep Camp way, there were far too many folks to allow for easy questioning. There were a lot of Tlingit up there, and most of them, even the women and children, were helping to pack the gold rushers up to the summit.’’
‘‘Sounds like horribly hard work.’’
‘‘It is,’’ Bill agreed, then looked at her rather sheepishly. ‘‘I needed some money myself, so I gave it a try.’’
‘‘Was it bad? I’ve heard so many rumors, stories of men who’ve given up and come back to sell out and go home. Why, we bought up the supplies of at least a half dozen men who were too discouraged to continue.’’
‘‘There are a lot of them out there. Only the strongest and bravest are going to make it north. That’s for sure.’’
‘‘I read up on this gold rush. The area of Dawson City is still hundreds of miles away. These people are going to be months, maybe even years on the trail. Do they even realize that? Did you, when you began to head north to search for gold?’’
Bill shook his head. ‘‘I figured it would be hard, but I didn’t know just how hard. Sure enough isn’t a place for children.’’
Karen could see the worried look in his eyes. No doubt his concern for Leah and Jacob weighed heavy on his heart. ‘‘No, I don’t imagine it is a place for them. You could certainly stay here and earn enough to take you home again.’’
‘‘We haven’t got a home anymore,’’ he said, his voice laced with sorrow. ‘‘I was hoping we’d find a home up here.’’
‘‘But this country is hardly suitable for bringing up a family. You have to consider their needs as well,’’ Karen answered. ‘‘What happens when the gold plays out and the crowds leave for the States? Will you just uproot them and follow the masses?’’
‘‘I don’t know,’’ he replied, looking up to meet her eyes.
Karen had never seen such a lack of hope in a man’s face as she had come to see in those lost souls who had given up on their dreams of gold and were headed back to wives and families in homes so far away. But even knowing that look— that despair—she was almost stunned by the depths of desperation and sadness in Bill Barringer’s eyes. It was as if a curtain had been lifted on an empty stage. A dark, bleak, desolate stage.
‘‘Bill, I know it isn’t my place to speak on such matters, but I feel I must say this,’’ she began. She watched him for any signs of anger or emotion, but there were none. ‘‘I’m sorry for the loss you suffered. Your wife was obviously very precious to you—to your whole family. I see the pain in Jacob’s eyes, and I’ve heard Leah speak of things about her mother and then burst into tears. I look at you and I know that you must have loved her a great deal.’’ His eyes sparked with a glint of interest. Karen took the opportunity to drive her point home.
‘‘I cannot imagine that your wife would want you to grieve so deeply for her. She no doubt loved you and your children and she would want you to go forward with life, living each day to the fullest and experiencing great joy, even in her absence. Forgive me for being so bold, but a woman as you have described her to be would never rest knowing you are spending your life—dying. Mourning yourself to death. Leaving your children to fend for themselves in their sorrow.’’
Bill looked to the ground. ‘‘I know, but I have nothing to give them.’’ He looked up, and Karen could see that the emptiness had returned. ‘‘I’ll think on what you’ve said, but I need to earn a living and the best place I can do that is packing goods up the trail. I can get the children jobs as well, and then maybe they won’t be so lost in thoughts of their ma.’’
‘‘No!’’ Karen declared. ‘‘They are children and they deserve to be educated and cared for. I will not permit you to drag them off to pack for the miners.’’
Bill looked at her with some surprise. ‘‘You won’t permit me?’’
Karen drew a deep breath and fought to control her anger. ‘‘Bill, just leave them here. They aren’t going to do you that much good. You’ll earn very little for their work and then just have to turn around and feed and clothe them. Winter is coming up and they’ll never make it. Oh, Jacob might be able to withstand the cold, but Leah would probably die of pneumonia. Do you want that on your conscience?’’
Bill’s expression changed as suddenly as if she’d slapped him across the face. He seemed genuinely overcome by her words and turned away. ‘‘They can stay with you, but I have to go. If I can’t earn a livin’ one way or another, it’s not going to much matter whether they have a father or not.’’
‘‘Bill, that’s not true. They love you—love you deeply. I can see that. I’ve heard Leah talk about it almost daily. She fairly worships the ground you walk on.’’
‘‘Even so, I’m not doin’ right by her or Jacob.’’ He stood with his back to Karen for several minutes before finally looking over his shoulder. ‘‘I’ll get money to you as I can, but the camps are a good piece up the trail.’’
‘‘Don’t worry about it. Jacob and Leah can do less-strenuous jobs around here and earn their keep that way,’’ Karen replied. ‘‘I can also work with them on their schooling. I think both would benefit from it, and that would give them something to do over the cold winter months.’’
Bill nodded. ‘‘I’m obliged. I just wish I could do more.’’
‘‘Find your will to live,’’ Karen replied softly. ‘‘That would be the very best thing you could do for them both.’’
He shook his head. ‘‘I don’t know that I can do that. Patience was my life.’’
‘‘Give it over to God, Bill. He knows your hurt and sorrow. Leah tells me her mother was a strong Christian. That she believed in the power of God to heal and direct. She also said that you used to believe the same. Have you given up on that?’’
He shrugged. ‘‘I don’t know. I guess I’ve come to realize, as the weeks and days go by, that much of my faith was wrapped up in Patience’s faith.’’
‘‘That can easily happen,’’ Karen said, praying that she wasn’t driving her point home too hard. ‘‘Sometimes it takes something like this to truly bring a person to God.’’
‘‘Seems kind of cruel of God to be that way, don’t you think?’’ he asked, and for the first time Karen denoted some anger in his tone. ‘‘Why should it be that one person should have to die in order for another person to get cozy with the Almighty?’’
‘‘I’ve asked myself the same thing,’’ Karen replied. ‘‘Every time Easter rolls around, I ask myself that question. Why should Jesus have had to bear my stripes on his back? Why should he have borne my punishment and sorrows?’’ She softened her voice. ‘‘Bill, I don’t think God took Patience in some sort of trade-off. Jesus already died for your sins and for your reconciliation to God. Patience had no need to offer that sacrifice a second time. But because we are fragile human beings, we die. She died, not because you were bad or good, but because it was time for her to go home.’’
Bill dropped his gaze again and nodded. ‘‘I know she’s in a better place. I’ll think on what you’ve said.’’ He walked away, not even waiting for her to comment.
Karen felt sorry for the man, her heart going out to him in his suffering. He stood on the edge of a towering cliff. One strong breeze could push him over. One simple step back into the arms of the One who loved him could ensure his safety.
‘‘Karen!’’ Leah called her name, gasping for breath as she ran around from the opposite side of the tent. ‘‘Karen, come quick!’’
> ‘‘What is it?’’ Karen asked. She saw the fear in the child’s eyes. ‘‘What’s wrong?’’
‘‘It’s . . . it’s Jacob!’’ she panted. ‘‘He’s been in a fight.’’
Karen turned back around to see if Bill was still in sight, but he’d disappeared between the rows of tents.
‘‘Please hurry,’’ Leah said, beginning to cry. ‘‘He’s bleeding.’’
Karen went quickly with the child, hoping to reach Jacob before anything worse befell him. They found him slumped over between a couple of the newer buildings. His left eye was already swelling shut and blood trickled from his nose and lip.
‘‘What happened?’’ she asked, kneeling in the mud beside him.
He looked at her with seeming indifference. ‘‘None of your business.’’
‘‘When there’s blood to clean up and you’re in my care, it becomes my business. Now tell me what happened.’’
He shrugged and tried to move away from her. ‘‘It’s not important. I just got into a fight with some other guys.’’
‘‘What was the fight about?’’
‘‘Nothin’,’’ he answered, struggling to get to his feet.
Karen got to her feet as well, while Leah clung to her brother’s arm. ‘‘Please let Karen help you. Please!’’
Her pleading seemed to affect him, and he leaned back against the wall of one building and eyed Karen as best he could.
‘‘They said my pa was no account. They said he’d deserted us and that he wanted the gold more than he cared about us.’’
Karen nodded. ‘‘That must have hurt you very much, but it’s not true. Your father is back, even as we speak. He’ll be at supper.’’ At least she hoped he’d still be taking his meal with them.
‘‘He’s back?’’ Jacob said, wiping at the blood on his face. ‘‘When’d he get back?’’
‘‘He just now stopped by to bring a couple of men who knew about my father,’’ Karen replied. She reached up with a handkerchief and tried to help Jacob tidy himself. ‘‘I know he’s anxious to be with both of you.’’
Jacob nodded. ‘‘Come on, Leah. Let’s go find Pa.’’
Before Karen could say another word, he had taken hold of his sister’s arm and was pushing her in the direction of the main road. Karen frowned. How would Jacob ever be able to deal with his father’s decision to go packing up the Chilkoot Pass? She hadn’t the heart to try and explain it to the boy. Hopefully Bill would help him to understand and reinforce that he wasn’t leaving them indefinitely.
Karen paused to reconsider the house plans. Perhaps they could all live together. Having Bill around would allow her father to have another male presence, and for those times when her father wanted to minister to the Tlingits, Bill could be the male protection they needed as Dyea grew in size. It was definitely worth considering, but something she would have to take up with Doris and Grace first.
Heading back to the tent, Karen began to pray for guidance. Show us what we’re to do, Lord. Bring my father home safely and help us to know how best to help him. Deal gently with Bill and his children. They are hurting so much, Lord. She rounded the corner to see Bill embracing his children. Her heart was uplifted by the sight. Surely this was a sign that all would be well for the little family. But in spite of this thought, the sight left her own heart aching.
‘‘Please bring Father home soon,’’ she added with a quick glance upward to the mountains. ‘‘I miss him so much. Please bring him back to me.’’
18
—[ CHAPTER EIGHTEEN ]—
BY OCTOBER, neither word from Myrtle Hawkins nor the appearance of Wilmont Pierce had arrived in Dyea. Grace felt sorry for her friend and tried to offer what comfort she could, but often her mind was otherwise engaged. Peter Colton kept her thoughts dancing on air most of the time. With each of his trips and comments of pride for her hard work, Grace felt invigorated against the growing cold of the Alaskan autumn.
Now, even as she watched Peter pay the freighters for their final delivery, she felt gooseflesh on her arms. He looked up to catch her watching him and gave her a grin. The action made her knees turn to jelly. In all her twenty years, no one had ever made her feel so light-headed and excited.
He tipped his cap to the men, and then before Grace knew it, he was striding in his self-assured manner right toward her. She drew a deep breath, hoping it might boost her courage. Why was it whenever she saw Peter, a part of her felt like running away, while the other part felt like running into his arms?
‘‘You grow more lovely with each passing day,’’ he said, stopping to formally lift her hand to his lips.
Grace blushed and looked to the ground. ‘‘I see you have brought us an abundance of goods.’’
‘‘I’d like to think so, but at the rate you sell them, I doubt they’ll be abundant for long.’’
‘‘The stampeders do seem to enjoy the selection,’’ she admitted.
Peter roared with laughter. ‘‘They enjoy being waited on by womenfolk. Lovely womenfolk. They come to my store instead of buying in Skagway because you ladies have made a name for yourselves.’’
‘‘Oh,’’ Grace said, knowing the surprise showed in her voice. ‘‘I never really considered it. I just thought that your products were superior.’’
Peter shook his head. ‘‘My father is bringing some of the same goods on behalf of a friend of his who’s settled a store in Skagway. You are his biggest competition, and I’m sure if he ever makes his way up here for a personal inspection, he will be green with envy.’’
‘‘How is it that a man has a store in Skagway but isn’t there to run it himself?’’ Grace questioned.
‘‘How is it that I have a store in Dyea and leave it in your capable hands? People are not always wont to move to a place such as this and set up shop. However, if they have enough money, they can always find a willing soul to help.’’
Grace smiled and tucked her hands into her deep coat pockets. ‘‘I suppose I can understand that. Especially since I’m one of those willing souls.’’
‘‘So can you slip away for a short walk? I can’t stay. I must have my ship ready to leave in a few hours. But I want very much to hear from your own lips as to how things are going.’’
Grace hid her disappointment at his announcement of a rapid departure. He never stayed long, and she found herself intensely longing for his company when he was away. Was he driven just as mad by the separation as she was? Did these feelings happen to the same degree for both of them? She knew Peter cared, knew he sought her out before he saw anyone else in their party, but he never said anything to indicate or imply more than friendship.
‘‘I can spend a short time away, but just like you, I must return quickly to my work. After all, we’ve a new delivery to deal with.’’ She smiled rather shyly. ‘‘Lead the way.’’
Peter glanced around. ‘‘Things are certainly changing. There are more tents.’’
‘‘Yes, but not too many buildings. Karen has suggested we build a house before winter, but a friend of Mr. Barringer tells us that tenting through the cold weather is not that difficult. He has offered to help us with whatever we decide.’’
‘‘A house would be good, but it would leave the store unprotected.’’
‘‘We’ve thought of that,’’ Grace replied. ‘‘That and many other things.’’ She smiled. ‘‘I’m sure God will direct us.’’
Peter looked away uncomfortably. ‘‘You’ll find I’ve brought you all some personal items and some special gifts of appreciation.’’
Grace looked up to find him watching her. Could he hear her heart pounding? Could he see the way she felt about him in her eyes?
She pushed the thoughts aside. ‘‘Gifts?’’
He laughed. ‘‘Yes. I asked my mother and sister about the things they would most miss if they were taken away from all civilization. They made a list and I went to work selecting a good many of their suggestions.’’
‘‘Such
as?’’
‘‘Well, you can see for yourself once I’m gone, but I’ve brought some teas and woolen cloth, as well as some books for fireside reading.’’
‘‘Karen will be delighted to hear that. She’s been working to help Bill’s children to improve their reading. Since they are staying with us, it seems a good way to pass the time after chores.’’
‘‘The children are staying with you and the Pierce women? What of Miss Pierce’s father and Mr. Barringer? Have they deserted you?’’
His voice denoted alarm, and Grace quickly worked to sooth his worries. ‘‘Not at all. Mr. Barringer, in fact, is the one who found people who knew Karen’s father. He is expected back at any moment. Mr. Barringer then took a job with those who are packing supplies over the summit on the Chilkoot Trail. He’s trying to earn enough money to get the things he and his children will need so that they can head north as well.’’
‘‘It was foolish for him to bring those kids up north. They’ll never survive.’’
‘‘Oh, don’t say that, Captain Colton. I’m sure God has them here for a reason.’’
‘‘They are here because their father is a foolish man. I would never so poorly advise my sister or mother on such a matter. Men need to keep their family members in mind before making such harsh decisions. We are to guide and direct, not strike out at whatever appeals to our fancy.’’
‘‘I’m certain you would no doubt make wiser choices,’’ Grace replied, trying hard to think of another topic of discussion. ‘‘So is your sister very young?’’
‘‘She is older than you by three years. She’s a very beautiful young woman and very proper in her attitudes.’’
‘‘Is she married?’’
Peter shook his head. ‘‘No, I’ve not yet found someone suitable for her.’’
Grace stopped in her tracks. ‘‘You’ve not found someone? What of her desires? Has she found someone?’’
[Yukon Quest 01] - Treasures Of The North Page 17
