“Today.” He tried to sound confident, but she saw through him. “All right. I wasn’t sure. Anyway,” his voice grew slightly impatient, “we’ll leave at seven in the morning and plan to return about ten or so that night.”
Sarah nodded, making a mental note to contact her mother and see if Chloe could spend the night. “I think it’ll be fine,” she said aloud.
“And the next is an overnight the following Thursday. Classes end on Friday for the session, so I thought it would be a great way to finish off.” Sarah’s brow was furrowed as she tried to decide whether to impose upon her mother again or expect Josh to perform his fatherly duties. “Josh,” Brian said, knowing full well what she was thinking. “We’ll be home by the time he has to go to work on Friday. It will be fine.” With everything settled in his mind, Brian glanced at his watch. “Ugh. Gotta get to class.”
“Bye, Professor,” Sarah called. She packed up their lunch and prepared to call on her mother and Josh.
In the past, Sarah might have fabricated an excuse to stop by her mother’s house and ask a favor. Now that she knew her mother could see through her, she decided to pass on that and begin a new tradition based on honesty and forthrightness. It seemed to be paying off although the results were the same. As always, her mother readily agreed to keep Chloe over night. “And where will you be staying once you get back?” Her mother asked with a smirk as they spoke in the kitchen that afternoon.
“You know, I haven’t given it a thought,” Sarah said honestly as she helped her mother shuck peas from the garden.
“Maybe you’ll stay with Brian,” Anna pressed as her fingers expertly dislodged a row of peas from a pod.
Sarah shook her head. “He hasn’t asked me.”
“And if he does?” Her mother pressed.
Sarah gave her a frustrated look and set down the pod she had been struggling with. “Stop pushing. Brian and I are friends. That’s all.”
Her mother snorted. “That’s only because friendship is all you allow him. He hangs around, waiting for you to make a decision.” She clucked. “It is shameful the way you treat him.”
A combination of hurt and anger coursed through Sarah. “In case you have forgotten, I’m still married,” she said through gritted teeth. “Not only that. Josh is still living with me. We have a daughter to consider. And...” She didn’t know what else to add. She was in a turmoil and felt utterly incapable of putting words to her conflicting emotions.
“And you are afraid of your feelings. You run from them, rather than explore them,” her mother commented widely. “The breakup with Josh has you questioning your judgment. You have spent all your adult life with him, but he betrayed you. How could you trust another man?” Anna walked to where Sarah stood and ran a hand over her daughter’s arm. When she spoke again her words were a whisper. “Brian is no ordinary man. You are no ordinary woman. Love is always a risk. Trust can be broken. Hearts will mend. Your happiness depends on it.” Sarah’s eyes welled up with tears. “Take a chance, Sarah,” her mother urged.
That night Sarah stayed outside late into the night, swaying gently on her porch swing. Out in the clean air, lulled by the distant sound of the lake washing up against the shore, she always found this perfect calm. It was the ideal environment for pondering life’s questions, seeking solutions. Everything would quickly come as clear as the starry sky above her. She sipped hot tea and imagined the various scenarios.
She was content the way things were. If she made no choice, enacted no change in the relationship what might happen? She imagined a world where she and Brian shared everything as they did now, but she saw him growing impatient. He wanted a family. Other women desired his time and attention. Eventually someone would win out, and Sarah would be put aside. Never would she be out of the picture entirely, of course. They would remain companions at work, but the dinner dates would dwindle, the affection would cease, and the nights of sweet dreams in his strong arms would be non-existent. She hugged herself tightly as she was consumed with a sense of dread. Sarah couldn’t live with that possibility.
But what if they dated? She concentrated to conjure up what that would be like. It looked like the relationship they had now, only more intimate. She saw nights filled with passion, fueled with mutual desire. She saw herself laughing and happy. Chloe was part of this life. Together they were a family. Sarah saw the possibility of marriage in their future, and even more children. She sighed. It would be just what she had hoped for all of her life. It seemed so clear, so obvious. Sarah couldn’t help but wonder what had caused her to dread this to fight it for so long. And in an instant, she realized that she wasn’t afraid.
It would be different between them now. She would stop pushing him away, stop fighting his advances. She would see where love would lead her without fear. And with that settled, she wandered upstairs to climb into her cool sheets for a restful night’s sleep.
Every day Sarah left for work with a light heart. She eagerly anticipated the next move Brian might make. She could sit back and wait, knowing that she was ready. This day was particularly exciting. She grabbed her overnight bag and headed for the door after kissing Chloe goodbye and reminding Josh to drop his daughter off at her grandmother’s before he went to work.
He was in a foul mood, probably because she was so happy. And Sarah was too excited to care about that. Tonight, after they returned from their day trip to Canada, she was spending the night at Brian’s. He had finally mentioned it, casually, over lunch the previous day.
“We’re getting back so late tomorrow,” he had begun. “It’s too bad that you can’t stay with me so that you don’t have to drive home. I hate to think of you on those windy roads when I know you’ll be tired.” He had returned his attention to his sandwich, and tried to act as though he meant nothing by his comment.
Sarah saw right through him. Her heart gave an extra robust thump behind her breast bone, and she said, in the same way one might comment on the weather, “Fine. I’ll stay over.” She picked up her glass and had a sip of iced tea, turning so as not to see the look of surprise on his face. They both knew that tomorrow night would be different.
It was all they could do to make it through the day, concentrate on their duties. At last, they loaded the students on the bus to go home. Evan offered Sarah a seat next to him, but she said casually, “I think I’ll sit with your professor. We have a lot to talk about.” Her emerald eyes sparkled as she said that. She could scarcely hide her excitement.
All day, Brian had grazed her hand or wrapped an arm affectionately around her shoulders as they toured the Canadian city. She tried to behave as though it was normal, but each touch made her tingle. And Evan had noticed everything. There were many girls on the bus that were vying for his attention, but he was barely friendly, bordering on distant. He tried to play it off as though he was lost in his thoughts. In truth, he was. He was trying to figure out how he was going to get some time alone with her. It obviously wouldn’t happen on this trip, probably not on the next one either, but maybe afterward?
A smile crept across Evan’s face as he stared out the window and planned for the last day of school. The more he pondered, the more he managed to convince himself that his plan would work. All that time and effort would pay off. He laid his head back on the seat and slept the rest of the way back to campus.
Evan wasn’t the only one sleeping. Sarah had yawned once or twice when the bus began to move. Brian saw how worn out she was. He knew why. It was more than the travel, the sight seeing, or the preparation it had taken to get here. He knew she was emotionally drained. All day she had been wired. She had felt everything so intensely. He wondered how she could possibly be so alert and sensitive all day. Now he had his answer. Those feelings had taken their toll.
“Rest, Sarah,” he murmured, wrapping an arm around her.
She shook her head. “I don’t want to miss one minute of this,” she argued.
“Just take a nap now so that we can spend some time toget
her later. We won’t be home for two hours at least.” His eyes bore into her. She wanted to get lost in them.
“Fine,” she said quietly. “I’ll sleep, but only if you promise that you’ll wake me so we can be together later.”
He offered her a pinky. They made their bond together. And Sarah snuggled in and slept.
As they neared the campus, Brian woke her. He knew she wouldn’t want to be caught asleep in his arms by the students as they exited the bus. He could hear much chatter in the back as they pulled into the parking lot at Sibley Hall. He turned to see what the commotion was about.
“So, care to join us?” One of the females asked.
“Join you?” Brian questioned.
“Yeah. It’s ladies’ night. We thought we might all go out for drinks.” There were numerous pairs of expectant eyes anxiously waiting for his response.
“Oh, no. At my age I need all the sleep I can get. We still have class tomorrow.” He smiled and turned toward the front again.
“And what about you, Professor White?” Evan asked this time, having woken up a few minutes previous.
“Oh, I have an even earlier class I’m afraid.” She and Brian exchanged smiles. From the new noise in the back, she guessed the students were speculating over whether or not the two adults were going off together. That question was answered when they sped off in Brian’s car. Evan didn’t even try to conceal his scowl.
Stopping abruptly before the mill, Brian said quietly, “Well, here we are.” Sarah shivered a bit, more from anticipation than cold. He noticed, but mistaking the body language, he rushed around to the side of the car to open her door. “We’ll get you warmed up,” he mumbled, rubbing his hands briskly up and down her arms as he hustled her into his apartment, which in reality only compounded the problem. She was entirely too sensitive to his touch.
He dropped Sarah’s bag just inside the door, turned her to face him and asked, “Would you like me to start a fire tonight?”
She shook her head shyly.
Brian frowned. “Okay. Would you like a drink?”
Again Sarah shook her head, slightly more vigorously.
Still puzzled, Brian asked. “How can I help you?”
Sarah walked into his arms, looked into his eyes and thought, Take me to bed and hold me all night, Brian. Keep me safe, and warm, and loved. Her eyes closed and she rested her head upon his chest as she finished her thought. His heart was pounding fiercely.
Really? His voice filled her head.
Yes! Her heart screamed.
Without saying anything else, Brian scooped her up in his arms and carried her to his bedroom. He laid her gently upon the unmade bed. He wanted to rip her clothes off, feast on her, keep her with him forever. He was shaking slightly from all the emotion surging through his body. Slowly. She said in his mind. We must move slowly. And he smiled. At least they were moving. He didn’t care how long it took. They were finally headed in the right direction.
They undressed each other, stopping at the underwear. This was a huge experience for Sarah. She wore sexy red cotton thongs. Brian had on black boxer briefs. He ran a hand along her side, sending shivers down her spine. She smiled shyly. Will you at least let me kiss you? Just let me taste you, Sarah. His words filled her mind, and sped up her heart.
In response, she put a hand to the back of his neck and pulled his mouth to hers. It was a soft kiss at first, gentle, exploratory. Then as the desire grew, he became more passionate, fiery. “Stop,” she whimpered. “We must stop while we can. I don’t want to ruin it. I want it to last forever.” She looked in his eyes as she spoke the final word, curious as to what she would see. Forever scared most men, but in an instant she saw that her mother was right.
“Yes,” he murmured. “I want to spend forever with you.” He didn’t flinch. He didn’t blink. He simply crushed her to him. “Forever, Sarah, starting tonight.”
Their eyes closed then. They laid in silence, listening to each other’s breathing and the sound of the river rippling against the rocky shore as it moved downstream. They were so happy in that moment, so filled with love and dreams of the future, that they let their guard down.
Neither one of them felt the danger lurking outside in the black SUV. Neither one of them paid attention to the impatient squeal of the tires turning around and heading away from the old mill. Evan had sat and watched in disbelief as Brian had carried Sarah to bed. He had watched in sick fascination as they undressed. And it was with great satisfaction and a pair of binoculars that he saw they didn’t have sex. He chuckled as he drove recklessly away.
There was coffee brewing when Sarah woke up the next morning. She stretched luxuriously and rolled over to find Brian awake and watching her. He smiled warmly, kissed her affectionately and murmured happily, “Good morning.”
She flushed from the emotion his words and touch stirred. “Umm, about last night,” she began.
He suddenly wore a stricken look on his face. “Please don’t tell me you’re taking it back.”
Sarah sat up suddenly. “No, never. I meant every word I said.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “I want to take it slowly though. That’s okay, right?”
Brian, who had been holding his breath with a hand laid over his chest, nodded and gathered her in his arms. “Whew. You had me scared for a minute.” She just sat there smiling at him. “So what did you want to say before I interrupted?”
She flushed again in embarrassment. Over the last few years, she hadn‘t had many opportunities to reveal any emotion of this nature. Suddenly she found herself in unfamiliar territory and it showed. “I just really like spending the night with you. I’ve missed not having you close every night ever since Myrtle Beach.”
A twinkle came to Brian’s eyes. Clearly, he was touched by her admission. And having waited so long for her, he would find detours to any barriers in their relationship. “There is actually a way around that. There is a way that you can be with me, pop in and check on me whenever you wish.”
She leaned in anxious to know the secret he was about to impart. “Really? How?”
He put up a finger. “First, wait. You must know it is rather dangerous. You have to draw a very tight circle for protection. There are spirits out there that could, well, harm you.” He shuddered, suddenly having second thoughts.
“How?” She asked again, her voice rising slightly.
“Have you ever heard of astral projection?” Brian asked seriously. Sarah shook her head. “Well, it is a way for your spirit to leave the body and travel around, see things you might otherwise not see, gain access to places that you wouldn’t otherwise be able to be, that sort of thing.” She wore a puzzled look on her face. “For example,” he said, nodding at her, “you aren’t able to have me over right now.” Sarah opened her mouth to object, remembered that they were now more than friends, and snapped her jaw shut again. He tried to hide a grin. “Well, I could astral project sometime during the night so that I could lie with you or spend time with you.”
Sarah tilted her head to one side as she pondered that. “Would I be able to see you?”
“That depends on how powerfully I am able to project.” He failed to mention that it was a skill he had yet to employ. Now that he had an excuse, he was willing to give it a try. “Sometimes it’s a hazy version of the person, sometimes far less, like a light source.” He watched her for a reaction.
She was thoughtful for a moment. “Could you teach me?”
Brian was hesitant. Astral projection was dangerous for the experienced witch, but for an amateur it could be deadly. There had been cases where another spirit had taken over the vacant body of a person. In even worse cases, the body was left behind too long, and it was presumed dead, and either buried or cremated. None of these scenarios appealed to him. He felt responsible for Sarah.
“I guess the answer,” he said at last, “is that in theory, yes, you could be taught.”
She studied the look on his face. “But,” she said.
<
br /> “I don’t want you to learn. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.”
She sighed. “I’m going to prove myself, Brian. You’ll see that you don’t have to worry about me so much. I can take care of myself.” With those last words, she jumped up from the bed and started a steamy shower.
Sarah was disgusted. One reason Josh had deserted her was because she was so independent. He said she never needed him. That’s why Tessa, her polar opposite, held such appeal. Now, she was falling for a man who didn’t seem to trust her strength or her abilities. She would show him.
Maybe it was because of their rift, because Sarah had shut him off emotionally, that he suddenly felt what he hadn’t paid much attention to lately. The danger still existed. Sarah, whom he was certain was safe within his walls, was still at risk. In fact, the threat seemed to loom larger than ever. And still he had no sense of the source. He concentrated, but other than the sense of darkness that surrounded Sarah, he could discern nothing.
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