Yet she had no owner forcing her to wear them… I couldn’t see Link asking this torture of her. He loved her too much. Although, men often did things that counteracted what they said, but I didn’t believe this was the case with him.
He was patient with her. That patience was clear for anyone to see, and always took my breath away because Lily blossomed around him.
It was strange to think that when she looked so put together. So pristine. She dressed for a magazine shoot and was always ready for anything—case in point now. Yet she was like Pinocchio. A doll. Then he came around and she turned into a woman.
That made me happy for her. I knew what it was to be a doll.
“A guilty pleasure,” she told me, dragging my gaze from the shoes to her face. My cheeks heated as her nose crinkled. “I love them.”
“Can you drive in them?” I queried warily.
“Of course. I wear them often enough,” was her cheerful retort as she shrugged into the slim wool cardigan that finished off her outfit, making her catwalk ready and not prepared for the chores ahead of me.
As she moved toward me, she gestured a little, indicating I should go with her, and together we headed to the garage that was more of a stable for mechanical horsepower.
There were supercars here, names that would make small boys weep with the desire to sit behind the wheel of these vehicles. But as we moved deeper into the garage, I noticed that the first ten or so were severely damaged.
They weren’t wrecked, not like they’d been in a car accident, but they were scratched and battered. It took me aback to the point I was gaping at each injured vehicle and trying to cover my surprise because I had no idea what on earth had happened and it wasn’t my place to judge.
I trudged behind Lily as she took me to a car that was low to the ground, a bright yellow, and after she grabbed the keys from a placket on the wall, the doors surged up off the ground at the click of a button on the fob. This one wasn’t damaged.
“I hate this car,” she told me frankly, which had unease slipping inside me. “If I didn’t think it’d kill me, I’d crash it.”
My brows rose at that. “You’d crash it?”
She hummed. “One of the bastard’s favorites,” she said mirthlessly as she headed for the driver’s seat then, stunning me, she traced the key along the side of the car, scratching the paintwork of the priceless vehicle.
Choking, I dashed around to see what she’d done, and felt like hyperventilating at the devastation she reaped, devastation she’d evidently been reaping on the first ten or so cars in the garage! “Lily! You should not do this!”
Her smile was wicked. “It feels good. Go on, you know you want to.” She shoved the keys at me, prompting me to back off like she was handing me a pile of cow dung. “Honestly, Ghost, it’ll feel great. Donovan loved this car. It was his pride and joy. He’d come in here and run his hand over it after he’d had it waxed. He always smiled like a little boy when he sat behind the wheel.”
The words were too similar to the ones I’d thought mere moments ago, and I blinked at her, accepting she wanted me to do this…
Mouth working, unsure of myself, I hesitated, but she didn’t let me. She reached for my hand then folded my fingers around the fob. “Go on,” she urged. “It’s really cathartic.”
Throat thick, I thought about her words and registered that today was a day where I really needed this.
I needed catharsis.
I’d just never thought to start it with this.
With the fob in hand, I measured the weight of it, thought about those times when I’d been picked up by Lancaster’s security from the pit of hell, thought about how they’d dragged me into their van like I was a pig ready for slaughter, and thought about the house where I’d been taken, where I’d been abused, where I’d been raped, where I’d been hurt.
My jaw clenched, I turned the key around, and very carefully, I pushed the tip into the paintwork just above the door handle.
A shaky sigh escaped me, but it burst into a full breath as I ran the tip of the key around the side of the car, making swirls here and there, going into spiral shapes as I made it all the way to the trunk. When that happened, I went back, scoring deep lines into the bright yellow monstrosity that had been a beloved item of the sadist who’d once owned me.
“Told you it felt good.”
I peered at her, aware I was overheated and sweaty, much like I’d been running or something, but it was just… well, I didn’t know what it was. Didn’t know why I was perspiring like I’d just worked out, but here I was, clammy and sticky, in need of a shower, but that wasn’t going to happen.
Not yet.
This was just round one.
“Tak.” I nodded abruptly. “It felt good.”
She smirked at me. “You sure you can’t drive?”
“Not legally. In Ukraine, yes, but not here.”
“Shame.” She winked at me, then her smile turned wary. “Maybe you’d like to crash it too. Maybe, one day, we can drive it off a cliff together?”
I tilted my head to the side. “Lily, why are you so different than when we were in the bunkhouse?” I reached out and curved my hand around her arm. “There is no need to be. You are not to blame for your family’s flaws. We told you this, didn’t we?”
She licked her lips. “Yes, you did, and then…”
“Then what?”
“Tatána was found spying. She must have truly hated us to do that. She had to know what she was risking.”
“More fool her. I am not like her, and I would appreciate your help in ascertaining that Amara isn’t either.” My mouth tightened with determination. “If she knows anything, I’ll make her talk.”
Her eyes widened and she cast me a quick look. “That’s where you want to go? To Rachel’s place to visit Amara?”
“That’s my first errand, yes.”
“What about the second errand? Assuming you’ve got a list.”
“I do. Indiana Ink. I would like a tattoo.” I tipped up my chin. “It is time.”
I sensed her surprise, but she shrugged. “Sounds good to me.”
“Do you speak Latin?”
More surprise from her quarter. “I learned it in school. Unfortunately.” A smile danced around her lips though. “The teacher was cute.” She snorted. “Actually, he looked a little like Link.”
It was my turn for my eyes to bug. “No way!”
“Yes,” she said with a giggle. “He was blond and rugged… wasted on Latin, IMO.”
“Sounds like it.”
“Why do you ask?”
“Because I want to know what something means.” I hesitated a second as the words were hard to pronounce. “De oppresso liber.”
“Let me see… something like, from being an oppressed man, to being a free one.”
The breath caught in my lungs. “Truly? This is what it means?”
She nodded. “Yeah. If you translate it word for word. Sounds like a motto to me—maybe for his unit in the army? If it is, then it might translate differently. Where did you see it?”
“Maverick has a tattoo on his back. I’ve seen his other ones, the bird on his chest, the Native American headpiece on his shoulder, you know? But not that one.”
“Must have been the motto of the division he served with. Google it.”
I winced. “I have no phone.”
A hiss escaped her. “Shit. We need to rectify that. We will after we head to the ink parlor. What are you getting done?”
More unease filled me. “You don’t need to buy me things, Lily.”
“Sure I do. Everyone needs a phone. What if there’s an emergency? I swear, if Tiff hadn’t had a phone, we’d never have had our asses saved that day we were almost kidnapped.” She shuddered. “You need a phone. And now that Maverick is so sick, what if he needs an ambulance real fast?”
I heaved a sigh. “You said that on purpose.”
She smirked. “Sure did.” She handed me hers. “Look it
up. There’s no pin.”
I did as she asked. “Special Forces.”
“It fits.”
It did. I thought about what the motto meant and couldn’t help but draw a parallel to me.
Hadn’t the MC freed me? An oppressed woman?
I said as much as to Lily who agreed, “It’s true. It’s uncanny. Before this whole clusterfuck, too, you were both freeing each other from oppression. Sure, it was of a different variety but that doesn’t matter, does it?”
“No,” I told her softly. “It doesn’t.”
Her smile made another reappearance as, in a singsong voice, she whispered, “De oppressae libera.”
“What does that mean?”
“Instead of being about a man, it’s about a woman instead. You.”
Shivers danced down my spine. “I love it.”
“You want that on you too?”
“Yes,” I whispered with resolve. “I do.” And it felt right. Bozhe mir, it felt right. Fitting.
I was a slave freed from her masters.
A shudder replaced the shivers, but she snatched the horrible memories from me by murmuring, “After we go to Indiana Ink, we’re going shopping, Ghost. It’s about time you got some new clothes. We’ll get you the phone then too.”
“That isn’t necessary. I’m fine with what I have.”
She sniffed. “You deserve more than the stuff Giulia bought ages ago.”
“You don’t need to buy my loyalty, Lily,” I told her softly, meaning every word.
Her shrug was dismissive. “I’m not.”
“You are.”
“I’m truly not.” Her smile twisted her lips. “Let’s prove that Amara isn’t like Tatána, hmm? Then I have something for both of you.”
“What is it?”
“Freedom.” Then she moved toward the driver’s seat and climbed behind the wheel.
I gaped at her. “You can’t just tell me that then say nothing more.”
Something gleamed in her eyes that looked suspiciously like amusement. “Sure I can. Hop in, we’ve got shit to do.”
Curious, I obeyed—something I was good at—and headed for the passenger seat. Climbing into the low vehicle was a task in itself. Remembering that Donovan had been in peak physical fitness, he’d still been quite old.
“You should have seen him getting in and out of it,” Lily said with a laugh, like she knew where my mind was running. “He had a bad back from weightlifting too much—he was obsessed with looking and staying young. Some days, he’d flop out onto the floor, crawl on his hands and knees, then use the door to get to his feet.” She snickered. “It was hilarious. Such a prick. Always interested in appearances and nothing else.”
I cut her a look. “Was he never a good father?”
“No. Not before or after Mom’s death.” Lily grunted. “It is what it is. But I take malicious pleasure in destroying what he loved.”
Reaching over, I pressed my hand to her knee. “I understand.”
“You will soon enough.” She smiled at me, then hit the ignition button. It roared to life and she reversed out of the parking space before we surged out of the garage, down the drive, through the gates, and onto the Orange Hills subdivision.
This house wasn’t part of the massive estate Tiffany’s father had built, it was just off to the side, but the access roads to West Orange itself took you through it.
Back home, this kind of place would be like something from a dream. Row after row of mansions, each one set in a prime spot with more land around it than a farm. Behind the high walls that guarded them, you could only see the roofs peeking through the trees, that was how private it was.
And I lived here.
Whether it was temporary or not, I lived here.
Me.
The sex slave.
The victim.
The ghost.
I blinked, taking in the sights because they still impressed me even though this wasn’t the first time I’d been down this street. Lily had the radio on semi-loud, which left me and her to our mutual thoughts, but I was okay with that. I was quiet by nurture, and I had a feeling she was too.
Sure, I was curious about what she’d said, but she would tell me in good time. She wasn’t a tease. But her words did stir me.
Freedom.
What did that look like?
What did it taste like?
I pondered that, wondering what to expect, what to think. I couldn’t imagine being free. Not entirely. The freedom to speak, to eat what I wanted, to use the bathroom without making a special request, the right to move freely around the house, the ability to wear clothes—all of those things were what freedom looked like to me.
But I knew that wasn’t how the rest of the world worked.
Those were things they took for granted.
I reached up and tweaked my bottom lip, pinching it as Lily drove us into town. She headed somewhere first, pulling up at a drive-thru before she ordered a coffee and tossed me a look. “What do you want?”
“I don’t know.”
Her smile turned pained. “Would you like something sweet? Milky? Strong?”
Hesitantly, I asked, “Sweet?”
“You don’t have to ask, Ghost.” Her eyes were warm. “What do you feel like drinking?”
I thought about it, thought about what I wanted, but I didn’t know. Behind us, a car pulled up and tooted the horn, which had me jolting.
“Ignore him. Do you want a water, Ghost?”
Water would be easy.
“Is your drink sweet?”
She smirked. “Sure is.”
“May I have what you’re having?”
“Of course.” She patted my knee, then turned to the intercom to place her order. When the car behind us honked their horn again, she slipped her hand through the open window, raised it high, and I saw her give the driver the finger.
Amusement warred with shock and had me covering my smile as we swung around to the next window where we retrieved large containers filled with mostly whipped cream.
At least, it seemed that way.
As I stared at the mountain of sugary cream, she muttered, “I never realized, until recently, how little you guys went off the compound.”
“Some of us more than others,” I said grimly, thinking of Tatána. “Have they spoken with you about her? About what she was doing?”
Lily shook her head as she pulled into a parking space. Taking a sip of her drink, she hummed with delight at the concoction which had me wondering how she stayed so slim, before she said, “You know what they’re like. They don’t talk about these things.”
“She wouldn’t have been in the office if she wasn’t spying.”
“I know. Trust me. I asked Link but he won’t say anything. Even if I ask nicely.” Her bottom lip popped out in a pout. “I’ll admit, it gets wearing hearing, ‘It’s club business, babe. You know I can’t talk shop with you.’” She rolled her eyes. “But I guess that’s the compromise you have to make to be with these guys.”
“I wouldn’t really know,” I said uncomfortably. “I mean, Maverick used to talk about things in front of me, but the others would ask me to leave the room.”
“I think Maverick was born beating a drum to his own particular rhythm,” was her wry retort. “I’m not surprised he bent the rules for you.”
“I miss him,” I said simply, nipping a fleshy part of my bottom lip between my teeth.
“I can only imagine,” she whispered sympathetically. “I’m here for you, Ghost, you know that, right?”
“I do.” I cleared my throat. “Would you please call me Alessa?”
“Of course.” She twisted in her seat. “Why aren’t you telling Maverick about your past? Giulia and Tiffany mentioned it, then Link said something that made me realize you’re keeping him in the dark…”
“I’d like the chance to be me without the past clogging things up.”
“Is that wise?” she rasped. “Lying to him isn’t the best w
ay to start anything, Alessa.”
“I know, but I-I can’t tell him, Lily. I just can’t.” I fiddled with the lid on my coffee. “He already looks at me like I’m nothing, if I tell him what I went through, I’m terrified I’ll see disgust in his eyes as well. I don’t think I could deal with that.”
“Maverick isn’t like that,” Lily protested.
“Maverick wasn’t like that,” I corrected. “This Maverick is new to all of us. I don’t think even the men really know him. I-I heard him and Link talking the other night when they were out by the pool. Maverick, when he was a soldier, wasn’t that close to them. It’s only when he returned home that things changed. He’s a wild card, Lily, and I can’t risk him thinking that I’m dirty.”
“You’re not dirty.”
My jaw tensed. “I am.”
“No, you’re not,” she snapped, and her hand grabbed mine before she squeezed it. “You didn’t ask for anything you endured, Alessa. You’re a victim, but you survived. You’re here and you’re in that bastard’s car and you just keyed it, and you’re going to spend a shit ton of that fucker’s money on clothes you don’t really need but just want today.”
“That doesn’t make up for what he did to me.” I swallowed, and I knew my eyes were raw with remembered pain as I looked at her because her mouth trembled at the sight of me. “What they did to me,” I corrected softly. “I was like an animal to them. They didn’t care, they didn’t… I wasn’t a human to them, and they treated me as such.”
“I didn’t kill him, Ghost.”
“But you wanted to.” Pity for her filled me. To want such a thing was a terrible admission, and yet no father had deserved it more than Donavan Lancaster.
Her mouth tightened. “I know I did. It just didn’t work out like that.”
“As long as he’s dead, that’s all that matters,” I told her calmly, before I took a sip through the sugary swathes of cream to finally reach coffee.
“You’re right, but I wish I’d been the one to do it. I can’t ever regret—” She grimaced. “But I kicked him for you. I don’t know what they’d done to him, Ghost, but they…” A breath escaped her. “You said they didn’t treat you like you were a human, well, I can promise that was served back to him.”
Maverick: A Dark MC Romance (A Dark & Dirty Sinners' MC Series Book 6) Page 14
