The fire was too intense, too close. It wouldn't take long for the gas tank to explode. Carson reached for the stone again, banging it against the glass, cracking it. Desperate, he did it again, creating more spidery cracks, but the window didn't break. The stone slipped from nervous hands and he cursed, but when he tried to reach for it, strong arms wrapped around his waist and dragged him away.
"No," he shouted, trying to break free. "We can still save him. Let me go!"
"It's too late," Jack whispered brokenly in his ear.
As if to confirm Jack's words, the car suddenly exploded, throwing them both to the ground. Carson curled into himself, stifling a sob, seeing the kid's terrified face even behind closed lids. He didn't move from within Jack's soothing embrace until the first fire trucks and ambulances arrived.
# # #
Carson sat slumped in a hospital chair, waiting while the doctors checked over Jack, who had hit his head on the asphalt when the SUV exploded. As for Carson, he had been treated for minor burns, as well as cuts and scrapes on his torso, hands and arms.
He took a shuddering breath, feeling drained now that the adrenaline and fear had left his system. Looking back he realized that Jack was right, that there had been nothing they could have done to save that young man. But it didn't hurt any less to acknowledge it, nor did it made his heart beat any slower when his mind went over the whole thing again and again as if in slow motion. It was hard to imagine the tragedy had happened in mere minutes.
The police had already been there, questioning him about the night's events. Apparently the kids had stolen the SUV, and the two surviving teenagers, who were also staying in this hospital, would have to answer for the theft. He wasn't sure if any blame would beset them over the accident itself. The Ford had stalled in the middle of the lane and the SUV had blown a tire, true, but maybe if the kids hadn't been driving that fast, the whole thing could have been avoided. But that wasn't up for him to decide.
He heard footsteps rushing over to him and looked up, waving faintly when he saw his friends. "Hey," he said softly.
"You and Jack okay?" Jackie asked, sitting next to him and taking his lightly bandaged hand.
"I'm fine. Some cuts and bruises, a few blisters from the fire. Jack hit his head. Paramedics think he might have a concussion, so the doctors are checking him now." He wondered how to give them the news, then decided to just let it out. "He's okay now. Something happened out there and it brought him back."
Brendan shook his head, looking confused. "What are you talking about?"
"Jack. He looked at me. Really looked. And spoke directly at me, not like those half-phrases or words he's used before."
"Are you sure?" Vivian asked, voice hopeful.
For the first time since watching the accident Carson smiled. "I'm sure, Viv. Jack's back with us."
"Hot damn," Roger exclaimed with a huge grin, doing a little jig to the amusement of the staff walking by.
"There's Doctor Okoko now," Jarod said, and everyone turned to the see the approaching doctor.
Okoko gave Carson a look of feigned reproach. "Mr. Bodine, I didn't expect to see you again so soon."
Carson shrugged. "Not exactly my fault. How's Jack?"
"He has a mild concussion, nothing serious. You'll be able to take him home now."
"Aren't you going to do any tests?" Carson asked. "To determine what happened, why he's okay again?"
Okoko's expression was puzzled. "Okay? Mr. Bodine, I saw absolutely no change in Mr. MacKenzie from yesterday. He still won't react in any way to outside stimulus, except maybe in your case. He didn't react with violence to our examination, true, but other than that..."
Carson rose slowly from the chair, shaking his head at what the doctor was telling him. "That's not... possible. He looked at me... He talked..."
"We did perform standard testing to check on his condition, but they showed nothing new. I wish I could confirm your words, but I have seen no evidence to support them," the doctor said. "However, if you say, he became lucid for a period of time, if he spoke with you and recognized you, I'd say that is a very good sign." He touched Carson's shoulder gently. "I wish I could tell you something specific, Mr. Bodine, but we've never seen anything like the drug Mr. MacKenzie was injected with. We have no way of knowing if it will dissipate or if given time, it will simply be absorbed somehow by Mr. MacKenzie's system. I'm sorry."
"No," Carson muttered. He ran to the cubicle where he knew Jack had been taken. He pushed the curtain aside and rushed to Jack's side. His heart threatened to jump out of his throat at the sight of his lover sitting on a bed, motionless, silent... and gone.
"Carson?"
"It's not fair," Carson whispered, ignoring Jarod's voice. "I could... I could've gone through life thinking he wouldn't get any better, I was ready to deal with that. But to be given... To have seen him... It's not fair. He's got to get better, he's just got to. He's in there, Jarod, he is. I can't... He'll get better, I know he will."
There was no answer to that.
# # #
Chapter Eighteen
Carson walked into the kitchen to find his friends having lunch.
"Hey," Jarod smiled kindly. "Feel like eating something?"
Carson sat at the table, rubbing his hands tiredly over his face. "Maybe later."
Brendan rose and poured a mug of steaming coffee, which he handed over to Carson. "Here. At least have some coffee. Did you manage to get any sleep?"
Carson sighed. "A little."
It had been after three in the morning when they left the hospital, and although Jack had gone out like a light, Carson had stayed awake for most of the night. The death of the teenager had haunted him, and Jack's relapse had hurt too much for him to be able to rest.
"I feel like we should be apologizing," Jackie said quietly.
Carson looked up from his coffee. "Why?"
"Ever since you met us, you've had nothing but trouble."
Carson placed his hand over hers and squeezed gently. "Jackie, if I hadn't met you, I'd probably be dead. I won't ever regret meeting you guys. You've become closer to me than my own family."
Roger sighed. "Which brings us to the topic of Jack's family. Do we call them?"
"We need to decide about Jack first," Vivian said. "They'll want to be with Jack and if Carson's taking him back to New York..."
"Are you?" Roger asked, looking at Carson.
"I want to take him to see some specialists. I'm not ready to give up on him, especially since he's managed to come out of this for a while. But this can't be my decision alone. You're part of his life as well, you've known him longer. I don't think it's fair of me to just take over, so to speak. I mean, you're the one with the power of attorney, Rog."
"None of us are ready to give up on him," Josiah said. "And there's better care available in the states than here."
When the others nodded their agreement, Carson said, "I guess that's settled then. I think you should go with me, though. Not all of you, I mean, I know you've got things to do here, that you can't just pack up and leave. But maybe you should come with us, Brendan. Having a doctor with us might open the right doors. And Rog, you should come too. You've known Jack the longest, and there's the matter of the power of attorney..." He trailed off, realizing he was babbling, and that the others were regarding him with amusement. "Sorry."
"I'm not sure if me going is a good thing," Roger said ruefully, touching his still bruised nose. "But I'm game if Brendan is."
Brendan nodded. "It's a good idea. We can use our emergency fund to pay for the tickets." He looked at Jarod. "You guys okay with minding the store while we're gone?"
"For as long as it takes," Jarod assured him.
"We can buy the tickets for tomorrow," Roger said, standing up. "I'll go call Jack's parents now. They'll need to make plans of their own if they're flying from Colorado to New York."
Suddenly remembering the weapons and the half packed rucksacks waiting by the door, Carson
said, "Look's like something else is on the agenda for you guys today. What's going on?"
"Kit got word of a new tribal war this morning," Vivian said. "Two of the larger tribes in the area surrounding the city are at each other's throats. Since both have allied with other tribes, this is threatening to become a major problem. We need to see if we can do anything to stop the bloodshed, maybe mediate over whatever problem caused the feud in the first place."
"Kit'll be at the bar in case you or Jack need anything," Jarod said, as he picked up his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder.
"We'll be fine," Carson assured him, a part of him wishing he could go with them. He couldn't believe how quickly these people's battles had become his own.
Carson watched his friends get ready to leave, doing his best to ignore his suddenly sweaty palms, strangely nervous at the thought of being left alone with Jack. Once the distractions were gone, Carson had no way to stop his thoughts which were anything but soothing. In spite of last night's disappointment, he couldn't help but think that Jack's nightmares and his brief moment of lucidity during the rescue of the teenagers were good signs. But what if they took Jack to see a specialist and were told this was as good as Jack was ever going to get? Carson wasn't sure if he would be able to take that.
# # #
Jack knew he was dreaming, but he couldn't make himself awake. He was standing outside the team's tent, in their base camp with the Durak tribe, watching with his friends as Jackie and Carson chased each other around one of the jeeps, their laughter echoing in the jungle surrounding them. His heart sang as he looked at Carson, at his friends. He hadn't really thought he would be able to adjust to this life so easily, in a foreign country, living in such harsh conditions, but here he was, happy, complete, settled down.
Carson waved at him with a wide smile, sticking out his tongue at Jackie who was now with Jack and the others. Jack saw him sit behind the wheel of the jeep, leaning forward to start the engine just before the whole world blew up into flames, taking Carson along with it.
Jack sat up on the bed with a pained gasp, sweat bathing his body, heart racing in his chest. It had been a long time since he'd had such a bad nightmare and very rarely with all that vivid intensity, regardless that it lasted all of a second. It had to be influenced by... He frowned. He vaguely recalled a traffic accident, saving someone from the burning wreckage. Had that been real? The memory that sparked his nightmare? Or had it been just another dream?
Forcing his breathing to slow down, he glanced around, realizing he was in Kit's apartment, in the bedroom he had been sharing with Carson. It didn't make any sense; the last thing he remembered clearly was being kidnapped by Jabulani, being injected with a drug. Maybe the others had rescued him? But why couldn't he summon up anything specific? There were other memories, or perhaps dreams, but everything was a distant blur, just out of reach of his comprehension.
Seeing some of his clothes in a chair, he rose from the bed, donning a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, and walked out of the room. Seeing light in the living room, he followed its beacon, stopping in the doorway as he found Carson sleeping on the couch.
He approached his slumbering lover, brushing his lips over Carson's lightly. "Carson?" he whispered.
He watched as Carson stirred slowly, eyes blinking sleepily, then settling on him. "Jack," Carson started, standing up. "What's wrong? Do you need anything?"
"No, I'm fine," Jack replied, wondering where he should start, what question he should ask first.
Carson didn't give him a chance to speak. Head tilted to the side in puzzlement, he regarded Jack silently for a moment. His eyes widened suddenly, and Jack was surprised to see fear and happiness shining from within the green depths.
Before he could comment on that, Carson spoke. "You're back, aren't you? You remember?" he asked, voice hushed. "Is it... Are you really back?" He threw himself at Jack, hugging him almost desperately. "God, I hope it's not like yesterday. I couldn't take that again."
Reluctantly Jack broke the embrace and sat on the couch, pulling Carson down to join him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "What happened yesterday?"
Carson sagged against him. "We saw a car accident last night, helped some kids out of a SUV before it blew up. You were yourself then, but at the hospital..." He swallowed hard, then reached for Jack, kissing him fiercely. "Jesus, Jack. Just... Jesus. I've missed you, missed you so damn much." He kissed Jack again, then regarded him carefully. "You still look okay." His hand caressed Jack's face gently, almost reverently. "Still here, still with me."
Jack looked at Carson, bemused. Carson was acting like he was afraid Jack would disappear into thin air at any moment. If he listened hard, he was convinced he would probably hear Carson's frantic heartbeat. He reached for one slightly trembling hand, and squeezed lightly.
"Calm down, Carson. I'm not planning on going anywhere."
Carson gave him a sheepish smile. "Sorry. It's just... I can't believe you're actually talking to me, looking at me." He bit his lip. "Are you okay? Do you feel okay?"
Jack shrugged, still confused. "I feel fine. I just had a nightmare about you dying. From what you told me, probably triggered by last night. And when I woke up I was just... here. What happened exactly? Last thing I remember is Jabulani drugging me, but I have this feeling... That was some time ago, right?"
Carson nodded. "Yeah. You were kidnapped about two weeks ago. I... Kit and I sort of rescued you and you spent the two weeks at the hospital. They discharged you yesterday. The doctors had no way of reversing the effects of the drug Jabulani injected you with, and since there was nothing they could do for you..."
"These two weeks..." Abruptly ill at ease, knowing he was missing something, Jack rose from the couch, pacing the room. "I haven't been unconscious the whole time, have I? Last night... I was walking with you, but I don't really remember going out, or what we were doing. I just remember saving those kids."
Carson rose too, walking over to him. His warm hands caressed Jack's forearms soothingly. "I don't know how to explain it all that well," he said, rubbing his head against Jack's shoulder. Jack heard him inhale deeply, almost as if he was taking in Jack's scent. "You were moving and even speaking, but not really conscious either. Maybe Brendan can explain it better." He took a step back, looking worried. "I think we should go to the hospital, have you checked out. We need to know if the drug's really out of your system, if you're back for good, or..."
Jack shook his head, cutting him off. "Later, Carson," he said gently. "I feel like I just woke up from a coma or something. The last thing I need is to be poked and prodded."
Carson didn't look pleased. "Jack--"
Jack rubbed his thumb over Carson's cheek tenderly. "Carson, relax. I'm here, I'm okay and I have every intention of staying that way. I just want to spend some time with you, see the others, then I'll do whatever you want. Where is everyone?"
"Trying to prevent a tribal war. And buying us plane tickets. I was going to take you to New York, see if there was anyone who could help you." Carson fidgeted slightly, a hint of a grimace on his face. "By the way, you should call your parents. Roger called them today to let them know what was going on and they're worried sick. We just couldn't postpone it any longer, Jack. We had no way of knowing when you were going to get better. Hell, we weren't even sure where to take you in the States and--"
Jack kissed Carson, putting a stop to his unnecessary apology. "It's okay, I get it." He looked into Carson's eyes, smiling a little. "I better wait for Roger to get back before I call them, though. If I know him, he did a lot of obfuscating, to spare my mom's feelings. She's got him wrapped around her little finger."
Carson snorted. "Yeah, like it's only Roger that turns to putty in your mother's hands. You know, these last weeks the others have been telling me lots and lots of very interesting--not to mention embarrassing--stories about you. Some of the things you and Roger were up to..." He shook his head teasingly. "Is it true that the first time you met R
oger you punched him?"
Jack had a sudden vision of throwing himself at Roger, of hitting him. Not as kids; this was recent. But Roger had been his best friend for what felt like forever. Why would he do such a thing? A fight over crayons in kindergarten was one thing, but what he was recalling...
"Carson, did I hit Roger during these past two weeks?" he asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.
Carson bit his lip, and smiled a little. "Yeah. Twice. And you punched him in the nose both times. He's okay, but I'm guessing you've got some major groveling and apologizing to do in the near future."
Wanting to remember, Jack forced his mind to focus on the vision of hitting Roger. It came back with amazing clarity, the moment when he punched Roger at the hospital, throwing him to the floor. He recalled the feeling of betrayal, thinking that Roger was trying to take Carson away from him.
That gave place to other images; Roger hugging Carson, speaking to him at the hospital. He saw himself attacking Roger in the jungle, carrying Carson over his shoulder and taking him away from the place where Jabulani had kept him prisoner. And he remembered with a sickening heart when he had nearly raped Carson in a cave.
"My God," he whispered. "Are you okay? The cave..."
Carson gave him a faintly exasperated look. "Don't even go there, Jack. You weren't yourself, and as soon as you sensed I wasn't in the mood for 'mating', you stopped."
"You gave me a blowjob."
"Yeah, because I didn't like to seeing you hurting. I love you, Jack, I'd do anything for you. In spite of the circumstances, what happened in that cave wasn't exactly a hardship."
Jack's lips twitched at that. "Okay, I get it. No guilty brooding."
Carson chuckled a little giddily. "Good. I think I'm a little drunk on the feeling of having you back," he said, hands coming up to touch Jack again.
Jack gripped the back of Carson's neck with his hand, pulling him closer, their foreheads touching. "This has really been hard for you, huh?"
"You have no idea," Carson breathed harshly, closing his eyes. When he finally opened them again, there was mischief shining within them. "So, any idea why you reacted to me the way you did? You were protective, possessive, and of course, you attempted to 'mate' with me," he teased.
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