“But, Memaw . . .”
She shook one crooked finger at me. “Please do this for your ol’ Memaw. And don’t argue.” Her eyes were watery and tired. I reached behind her and unlatched the necklace. She kissed it before putting it on me.
Memaw patted the locket resting near where my heart sits and said, “Yes indeed, that is special.”
“But Memaw, why are you giving this to me? This is your special locket.”
“I know what it is, child, but it’s not mine no more. Truth is, it never really was mine.” Memaw opened the locket. Inside was a tiny dial under glass with a needle that bounced around and finally settled on the letter N sitting off to the left. I rubbed my thumb careful-like across the little glass dome protecting the compass. Memaw lifted her glasses up off her nose to swipe the sweat that had pooled up there.
Nested up inside the lid of the locket was a tiny little speck of a picture of Mama about my age, sitting on the porch swing with Memaw.
“You an’ Mama are so beautiful.”
“Thank you, baby. I like to say we come from a long line of beautiful women. Legend has it the women in our family keep gettin’ more beautiful with each new generation.” She smiled. Happy, warm love spread from my heart to my cheeks.
“I put that picture in there for you the day you were born, NeeNee. I’ve been waitin’ for the right time to give it to ya. My mama gave this compass-locket to me when I married your dear PawPaw. She said it would help me if I ever lost my way home.” Memaw’s eyes got that far-off look and she let out another long sigh. “I wanted to give it to ya yesterday on your birthday, but everything got so . . . busy.”
A huge, pounding rumble of thunder shook the house like we needed reminding as to why yesterday got so . . . busy.
I wrapped my arms around her, the best I could from a sit, and squeezed tight. “Thanks, Memaw.”
“Keep it close to your heart an’ know that’s where I’ll always be.” Memaw kissed my forehead.
Mama swiped at a tear sliding down her face. She smiled and blew me a kiss across the shadowy attic.
The sky turned dark and ugly again, wrapping us up in darkness. The rain poured down sideways—the winds keeping most of it from coming straight down and into our pitiful, tore-up, leaky attic.
I rested my head on Memaw’s shoulder with the locket tucked safe inside the palm of my hand. Her shoulder was wet from sweat. My eyes got heavier and heavier.
CHAPTER 18
Shadows danced and shifted from one wall to the other. It scared and confused me. It took me a minute or two of looking around to remember that we were in the attic, and why we were there.
Sealy and Georgie played with a flashlight, making finger shadows on the dirty plywood floor and vibrating walls.
My neck was stiff. I needed to stretch, but Memaw’s heavy ol’ head was lying on top of mine. I tried to get out from under her without waking her up.
I got frustrated. “Memaw,” I whispered, nudging her with my trapped arm.
She didn’t move.
“Memaw,” I whispered again, but louder.
She still didn’t move.
I patted her cheek, and real quick jerked my hand away. Something was wrong. Her skin didn’t feel normal. I touched her cheek again. Instead of feeling her usual silky soft skin, it felt like I was touching the outside of a chilled watermelon.
My breathing came faster—harder.
I didn’t care if I interrupted her sleep or not. I pulled my head out from under the weight of hers. Her head flopped down. Her chin rested on her chest at an unnatural angle.
I jumped to my feet. My heart raced. Panic spread up from my toes.
My mouth went dry and I couldn’t swallow. “Memaw,” I said, poking her shoulder with my finger.
She still wouldn’t wake up.
My whole body took to shaking from the inside out.
I didn’t see Daddy come up beside me, but I felt him there.
Mama was sobbing.
I just stood there.
I didn’t move.
I didn’t cry.
I couldn’t breathe.
I just stood there.
Georgie paced back and forth with Cricket pushed against his chest, punching jabs at the empty air in front of him.
The wind was blowing fierce. Howling. Screaming. Something crashed down onto the roof. Thud!
Sealy was crying louder than anyone. The twins fussed and wanted to be picked up. Mama was down on her knees. Daddy hovered over her, with his head all slouched down.
“Do something, Daddy!” I shouted, in a voice that didn’t sound like me.
“It’s too late, Armani. She’s gone,” Daddy said, through his own tears.
“What’re you sayin’?” I shook so hard my teeth chattered. “Save her like you did with Kheelin!”
Daddy still didn’t move. He just fussed over useless Mama.
The house shifted under my feet. The world rattled and whooshed.
Why wouldn’t he at least try to save her?
I all but pushed Mama out of the way. I grabbed hold of Memaw’s shoulders so I could lay her down and do CPR like I’d seen Daddy do for Kheelin. But she was heavy and wouldn’t move. Sweat poured off me. I was shaking and clumsy. I needed to hurry.
Daddy tried to wrap his arms around me.
I wiggled free, never taking my eyes off Memaw. Daddy put hisself between me and Memaw. I swung at him and landed a good one somewhere in the middle of his belly.
“Leave me alone!” I screamed at him. “Someone’s gotta save her!” I kept trying to move her.
“Armani, please stop,” Daddy said, wiping his tears away with the bottom of his shirt. “It’s too late, baby, she’s gone.”
“No, she’s not! Stop saying that.” I couldn’t catch my breath.
I tried again to move her, this time with a big heave, but Memaw’s lifeless body fell sideways, to where she looked like she was kissing her own kneecap.
Everyone gasped. Sealy cried louder.
Mama came to me. She stood beside me, barely placing her hand on my shoulder.
“Memaw’s with Jesus, Armani,” she said, with tears streaming down her face. Everything was blurry through my own tears that wouldn’t fall. My head throbbed.
Mama gave my shoulder a little squeeze. She walked away and went over to tend to Sealy, who fell into her arms like a rag doll.
Daddy was over in the corner, trying to get Georgie to stand still.
I took Memaw’s hand into mine. I kissed the top of it where it was extra soft. I pressed her hand to my cheek. A tear fell and rolled across her hand. “I love you, Memaw,” I said, sucking in hot, thick air. I looked down at her crumpled body. My tears started flowing.
Without saying a word, Daddy came over and scooped up Memaw like she didn’t weigh more than Sealy. He carried her to the far side of the attic and laid her down, careful not to let her head bump the floor.
I crawled over and sat beside Memaw, losing control of my crying. It came in long, loud sobs.
Daddy kneeled down and put his arm around me. “I know, baby, I know,” he said softly near my ear. My head started to fall toward his shoulder.
His arm went around me tighter. “It’s going to be all right, NeeNee.”
A bolt stabbed into my heart. I pushed him away, all but knocking him to the floor. I jumped up, trembling, and glared at him. “Shut up! Don’t ever call me that!”
He stared at me, his mouth half open, his eyes all puffy and wet.
After a few solid stomps in the clunky boots, I stood over by Mama. I whipped around and gave him a serious head slide, my eyes burning and glazed over. From the bottom of where all my meanness is stored, I said in a slow and even tone, “No one calls me that but Memaw.” We locked eyes for only a second, till Daddy slowly turned away with his head hanging down.
Tears streamed down my face as I watched Daddy bend down to kiss Memaw on her forehead. Then he unbuttoned his thin ol’ shirt. He took it of
f, and covered my Memaw. All the air, and happy, and knowin’, and . . . everything got pulled out of me and left me standing there empty on wobbly legs.
I threw myself into Mama’s arms and cried till I had no tears left inside me. Daddy was holding Georgie the way Mama was holding me.
We stayed like that till the tree broke through the roof and landed in the middle of our attic, separating me from Memaw.
My brothers and sisters were all screaming and crying—I could see it on their faces. But I didn’t hear anything.
I looked up through the huge hole in the roof. The black of the night fell into me and took me in. I closed my eyes. There was finally gonna be enough air to breathe.
CHAPTER 19
Tuesday, August 30, 2005 – 4:23 A.M.
The night was close to over by the time Daddy found a safe way for us to climb out of the hole in the roof that the tree had made.
When Mama and the kids started making their way through the hole, my brain and my heart got in a scuffle. Surviving the nightmare meant getting out of the attic, but I didn’t wanna leave Memaw behind. She didn’t like being by herself—always making sure one of us was close by for company. How could we just up and leave her so—alone?
Me and Daddy were the last ones left in the attic. I wanted to tell him it was wrong to leave Memaw, and that I was sorry for being hateful, but I wasn’t ready to talk to him just yet. So I kept quiet, letting myself be pushed through the jagged hole and onto the roof.
The sky was midnight blue, with tiny white stars blinking everywhere. I took a deep breath and sucked in a huge gulp of the fresh night air. It was the first real breath I’d taken since Memaw had died. A new batch of tears filled my eyes. I squeezed the compass-locket between my hands.
I tore my eyes from the star-filled sky and seen the silhouette of Mama keeping watch over her babies. They were sleeping at her feet. She was holding herself and swaying from side to side. She stared up at the dark sky, the moonlight shining off the soft curves of her face.
Mama had lost her mama. I took in another long breath of the sweet nighttime air.
It was like the house knew we were gonna be needing to come stay on the roof, so it turned itself just so, giving us a tiny, almost flat spot to be on. Even still, I was nervous walking in the dark on the slippery roof, shuffling along in the bulky rubber boots.
Mama never took her eyes off Heaven. I slipped my hand into hers. She squeezed it with all her might. I leaned into her and cried. The starlight caught hold of a tear sliding down her cheek.
We stood there for a time, letting the sadness take over while heaven looked on.
“No way!” Georgie shouted. His voice cut through the night air. “Daddy, look at this!”
Not again.
Georgie was shining the flashlight back and forth in front of him, looking at something over the side of the roof.
The sound of sloshing, dogs barking, people hollerin’, Cricket whining—the noise filled my head all at once.
I inched closer so I could see what he was fussin’ about.
“We’ve floated out into the middle of the Gulf, Daddy!” Georgie had Cricket up under his arm. I didn’t care. My arms were too heavy for holding.
“Armani,” Mama said, touching my arm. “Stay here with the twins. Don’t let them move.”
I nodded. Mama baby-stepped her way on shaky legs over to Daddy. He held her tight when she stared over the side. I held my breath wondering what it was that she might’ve been seeing down there. Her hand flew up to her mouth. She buried her head into Daddy’s shoulder.
“What’s going on?” Sealy asked.
“I don’t know,” I answered.
Daddy walked Mama all careful-like back over to where I was with the little ones.
Mama looked at me with mournful eyes. “There’s water everywhere,” she said in a heavy, tired voice. She all but fell into my arms—all the weight of her sadness was on me.
Daddy cupped the side of my face in his big, shaky hand. I wanted to hug him more than ever, and for him to hug me back. But I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want him to see the wanting in my eyes. I turned my eyes away and found a star to stare at.
“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep,” I said.
Daddy’s hand slowly fell away from my face.
Mama went to crying softly again.
Daddy picked up Khayla and dragged hisself back over near the edge of the roof and sat down. Georgie and Sealy sat down on either side of him. Georgie’s glasses kept sliding off his sweaty nose, so Sealy stuck them down inside her book sack, since he couldn’t hold onto them and the puppy too. Cricket looked snug and safe up on my brother’s lap.
Somewhere close by, something loud splashed into water. Somewhere close by, someone screamed. Chill bumps ran down my back.
“Where did all the water come from, Daddy?” Sealy asked, with her head resting on Daddy’s arm.
Kheelin was fussin’ and Khayla whined nonstop about being hungry. I did my best to help poor Mama keep them settled. But mostly I concentrated on my ears and whatever Daddy was fixin’ to say.
“Well, the levees must’ve breached and flooded the city. For years people have been saying this could happen. I just never imagined . . .”
“So what’s gonna happen to us?” Georgie asked. Him and Daddy looked so much alike in the shine of the moon—both of them without their glasses. “How are we gonna get down from here, Daddy?”
“I don’t know, son. I don’t know.”
Cricket was harder to handle than Khayla and Kheelin put together. None of us wanted to let her walk around on account of us being up on a rooftop and all, but she couldn’t handle being held another minute.
Daddy told Georgie to let Cricket loose so she could move a little, but to watch her close. Georgie set the puppy down, and right away Cricket went to sniffing—walking with her little nose stuck to the rooftop.
It wasn’t like Hurricane Katrina had blown any good sense in for Georgie, so I kept a close eye on the situation.
When the twins weren’t sleeping, they were fussin’. Poor Mama had her hands full trying to soothe them with nothing more than the sweetness of her voice.
Sealy had took to mothering Khayla. I hadn’t seen Sealy with a book of any kind in a good while. Maybe she was feeling about reading and writing the way I was feeling about talking and helping.
I watched the stars disappear as the sky turned to a softer blue with the promise of light right behind it.
Daddy’d been sitting over by hisself for a long while. It tugged on my heart to go talk to him. I needed him to know that I was sorry and still loved him.
I stood up, fixin’ to go make my apology, when Cricket went into a spin. She was spinning and yapping and chasing the stub of a tail connected to her backside. Kheelin started to giggle.
Georgie walked in circles around the spinning puppy. He started laughing too.
“Be careful, son,” Daddy warned.
“I will, Daddy.”
Even though it was a relief to hear something besides the constant sound of the water rushing, and the far-off shouts echoing in the early morning air, it still seemed wrong that anyone could laugh with Memaw lying dead right up under us.
Like someone flipped a switch, the sun showed itself—pouring a creepy, beautiful orangey glow over everything. I didn’t have to go look over the edge of the roof no more to see the water. It was everywhere, just like Mama said. Water for miles and miles. The sun reflecting off the gasoline-smelling water made it look like we were surrounded by liquid fire. It felt like the end of the world.
I clomped in Memaw’s boots, heading over by Daddy. No matter what, I needed him to know I was sorry. But I never made it that far.
CHAPTER 20
A huge telephone pole floated by and slammed into the side of our house. Every one of us gasped. It was a wonder it didn’t split the house right in half. I almost got shook clean out of the dang boots.
But Cr
icket—she kept right on going with her performance, spinning faster than ever, looking like a cute little circus dog entertaining an audience. The kids clapped along and went back to their laughing.
Mama didn’t think it was funny. Neither did Georgie or Daddy—or me. The sight of that puppy circling out of control gave me a heavy feeling of dread.
The dog was spinning and yapping herself closer and closer to the edge of the roof. Daddy was on his feet, looking every bit as nervous as me. My heart pounded harder—faster.
“Georgie! Grab her!” I yelled. How stupid could he be? All he had to do was reach down and pick her up!
“I’m trying!” he said in a high, squeaky voice. He was walking with his legs spread, hunched over right behind her, with his hands held out. But the puppy was fast.
“Cricket,” he kept saying all nervous-like. “Come here, Cricket.” He pushed his glasses that weren’t there back up on his nose.
Cricket was spinning herself silly.
“Georgie! Just pick her up!” I stomped my foot. I was scared to move too fast, but I knew I had to get over there and grab the dog. I took a few clumsy steps.
“Armani, stop!” Daddy hollered.
At the exact same time Georgie yelled, “Cricket!”
And Mama yelled, “Nooo!”
I froze, with my mouth hanging wide open, and watched sweet little Cricket spin herself right off the edge of the roof.
A split second later, a very small plop sound came from the water flowing no more than twelve inches from the top of our house.
My hands flew up to my mouth.
Georgie twisted his head around and looked at me. Our eyes locked in on each other. I was fixin’ to tear into him regarding how incredibly stupid he was, when he blurted out, “It’s okay, Armani! I’ll get her!”
Before any of us could scream No!, that crazy boy jumped right off the roof.
CHAPTER 21
Mama was wailing at the top of her lungs.
Upside Down in the Middle of Nowhere Page 10
