“There’s no one to blame,” Sealy whispered.
Mama took a long, slow breath. “It would make your Memaw so sad if she thought you were blaming yourself, Armani. Please understand that it wasn’t your fault. Can you do that for me?”
I lazy-shrugged.
“I owe you girls an apology—especially you, Armani.”
I lifted my head. Mama gently pushed my head back onto her shoulder. “I shouldn’t have left you like I did at the Super Dome. I was so scared and confused and I didn’t realize—”
“It’s okay, Mama,” I said. “You had to get help for Kheelin. We understand. I’m the one who’s sorry. I should’ve listened to you and stayed put like you said.”
“Oh, sweetheart, you did exactly the right thing. You’ve taken such good care of my babies. You’re an amazing young lady.” Mama pulled in a long breath. “Your Daddy’s going to be so proud of you—proud of both of you.”
Sealy sniffled and her thumb rubbed the back of my hand like I used to rub Memaw’s.
Mama shifted in the chair when I got up. She stared at me a good long while—into my eyes—studying my face. “You’ve grown so.”
Mama reached behind her neck with both of her hands. She took off the compass-locket and held it out in front of her. Then she reached up under my hair and fastened it back around my neck, the same way Memaw had done up in that awful attic.
“Now,” Mama said, “I need you to do one more thing for me.”
I blinked, never taking my eyes off hers. “Anything, Mama.”
“I want you to go with Miss Priscilla tomorrow.”
The air got sucked right out of me.
“But,” Mama said. She took hold of my chin and leaned in a little closer. “I don’t know what you’ll find when you get there. And Armani?”
“Yes, Mama.”
“I want you back here tomorrow night.”
“That’s right,” Sealy said, sounding like an echo, “tomorrow night.”
Before I had a chance to say another word, I heard the sounds of Miss Priscilla and her ducklings coming down the canvas hallway.
“Knock-knock,” Miss Priscilla said in that voice of hers. “Is it all right for us to come in?” She poked her poofy head in, and as soon as Mama said yes, the rest of her and the kids came spilling back into our room. Mr. High Pockets followed behind, toting a pile of paper pillows and scratchy blankets.
I seen the plastic white bag in Matthew’s hand and knew right away what it was. Martha snatched the bag out of his hand and skipped over to me. She held the bag out for me to take. “Here, Armani, we found your bag.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
“What’s that?” Mama asked.
“What?”
“The bag you’re holding.”
I looked down at the bag like I was surprised to see it hanging off a hand that belonged to me. “Oh, this? It’s nothin’.”
Sealy’s mouth opened. I shot her a look. She shut her mouth quick. It didn’t matter nohow, because my sister’s new twin named Martha said all happy, “It’s your new shoes, Armani. You know, the ones Miss Priscilla got ya.”
“Oh, dear,” Miss Priscilla said.
I forced a smile to my mouth that almost hurt. “Martha’s right, Mama. It’s just some shoes from Miss Priscilla, that’s all.”
“Can I see the bag?” Mama asked with knowin’ in her voice.
She looked inside. She closed the bag and stood up. “Miss Priscilla, I wonder if I can get you to sit with the children for a few minutes longer.”
“Well, you sure can, Miss Katherine. Me and Mr. High Pockets here can hold down the fort, can’t we, hon?” She winked at the man and he gave her a thumbs-up. “Y’all take as much time as ya need.”
I walked with Mama. She had her arm around my shoulder. The white bag swayed back and forth like a floating plastic wall between us while we walked.
“Can you show me where you’ve been sleeping?”
I led the way to our corner. The MawMaws waved and I waved back. Mama never asked who they were.
I stopped in front of our cots.
“Sit down, Armani.”
Without saying one single word, Mama got down on her knees in front of me and took my right foot in her hands. As slow as molasses, my mama pulled the rubber boot off my foot. A tear made its way down my cheek. “Mama—”
“Shhh” is all Mama said.
She real careful set the boot on the floor next to her. Then she took my foot and rubbed it between her warm, sweet hands. She brought my foot up to her mouth and she kissed the top of it. She did the same thing with my left foot. When she pulled the new white sneakers with the sky-blue stripes out of the bag, a shiver ran up my spine.
One by one, Mama slipped the new shoes on me. My feet were singing thank you, but my heart was as heavy as a stump. Mama took Memaw’s boots and placed them real gentle down inside the plastic bag.
When she finally looked up at me, her cheeks were wet and her eyes let me know her heart was feeling heavy too. She stood up. My hand slid into hers and she helped me to my feet. It felt like I was floating on air. She handed me the bag. We walked the long way back to the clinic.
Now ain’t that nice? Memaw whispered in my ear.
CHAPTER 51
I sat on the edge of one of the roll-away beds that a man had brought in earlier. I kept touching Memaw’s compass-locket while I watched Sealy braid Martha’s long blond hair—the two of them nonstop whisper-gabbing. The twins and little John were sound asleep. Lukey had gone into the hall with Mama and Miss Priscilla. The boy had been hanging on Miss Priscilla’s hand all afternoon.
Out of the corner of my eye I seen Matthew staring in my direction. I looked over at him and our eyes locked. He came over and sat down beside me. “Armani, I wanna go with y’all tomorrow.”
It was way past lights-out. I noticed that the nighttime lights in the clinic didn’t have the same nightmare-gray color like in the rest of the shelter. The buzz was still there, though. I figured I’d always have that buzz stuck in my head—probably even when I was twenty or thirty years old I’d still be hearing that buzz.
I seen the shadow of Mama sleeping in her rocking chair holding Kheelin. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I took hold of the locket and kissed it. Please help me find my way home tomorrow.
I tried to force my eyes shut so I could get some sleep, but they kept popping open. My insides were jumpy and my nerves were working me crazy. In the morning I was going home to try and find Daddy and Georgie, and I’d never been so scared in my whole life.
I rolled over onto my side, and that’s when I seen it. Khayla had her hand poked out through the metal bars of the crib. I couldn’t see her face too good, but I could see her little fingers. Somehow, that baby girl was giving me a perfect “I love you” sign like she’d been doing it all her life.
I smiled into the darkness. I gave Khayla the sign back and her hand disappeared back into the crib.
CHAPTER 52
Friday, September 2, 2005 – 4:23 A.M.
For days I’d been wishing for just a little time to myself away from kids and toilets and noise and shelter. But when the transport people came to take Mama and the twins and Sealy to the hospital, I could barely stand the thought of being away from all of them. Mama surprised me when she didn’t cry.
Miss Priscilla promised she’d do everything in her power to get Mama’s precious cargo back before lights-out.
“Wait!” Sealy all but hollered directly into my ear after she squeezed the life out of me when we said our byes. She reached into her book sack and pulled out Georgie’s glasses.
Mama’s hand flew up to her mouth and a tiny gasp squeezed past her lips.
“Here.” Sealy handed the glasses to me. “Georgie’s going to need these.” She smiled. Her wet eyes twinkled. “He’s going to be so happy to have them back. And tell Daddy I can’t wait to see him.” She gave me one last hug and held up the plastic bag. “Don’t worry about
Memaw’s boots. I’ll keep them safe for you.” She looked at me in a way I’ve only seen a mama or daddy look at a child. “You’re the best sister ever, Armani.”
I stood there holding my brother’s glasses and watched my family leave—not feeling one ounce of brave in my whole entire body.
I’d been sitting up in Miss Priscilla’s SUV by myself, fiddling with Georgie’s glasses on my lap, waiting for Matthew to get back from the bathroom and for Miss Priscilla to come with her friend—the man who’d lost his family. It was strange being outside, even if I was sitting in a big ol’ truck. It was mostly dark out. There were buildings all around, like on Canal Street. If I tipped my head and looked up between the black outlines of two of them buildings, I could see the moon working its way across the sky. I’d never been so anxious to see what the sun was gonna look like, and what color blue the sky might be.
“Hey!” I jumped and almost bumped my head when Matthew opened the truck door and hopped into the backseat beside me.
“Hey,” I said, looking out the window. I found the moon again. I liked staring at it. I wondered if people in Heaven could see the moon.
Matthew leaned across the seat and shoulder-bumped me. “You all right?”
I shrugged, “Yeah, I guess.” I turned to look at him. It was weird the way sitting up in that dark SUV early in the morning like that made our skin look the same nighttime-blue color. “Can I ask you something, Matthew?”
“Sure.”
“Are you scared? I mean, you know, about goin’ back there.”
“More than you know. I honestly didn’t think I’d ever go back, ’specially since N’awlins ain’t got nothin’ left for me anyhow. Martha an’ the boys is all I got. I’m grateful to your mama for takin’ care of ’em.”
Matthew’s words about New Orleans not having nothing left stirred up that unsettling feeling in me again. I was fixin’ to find my moon when a door opened, allowing Miss Priscilla and her smells to fill the empty driver’s seat.
“So how do y’all like my Tahoe? I’ve had it goin’ on a year now and y’all’s the first ones to sit in the backseat. Imagine that.” She looked up into the rearview mirror and smiled at us. All I could see was her bright cherry-red lips and part of her chin. “Y’all buckle up, now.” She went to fluffing up her already big hair.
“Yes, ma’am,” me and Matthew said at the same time.
The passenger door opened and a man got in. I blinked and blinked, trying to get rid of the spots left behind by the bright overhead light. I could tell the man was saying “hey” to Miss Priscilla by the way the two of them faced each other. Miss Priscilla let out one of her famous loud laughs and pushed the man’s shoulder. She pulled down her sun visor and flipped open the lit-up mirror hidden there. Mama would’ve loved that mirror.
“Well, we best get goin’,” Miss Priscilla said through her smacks. She snapped her visor-mirror shut and started the truck.
“Where are my manners?” Miss Priscilla said and half-turned in her seat so she could look back at us. “Y’all, this here’s my friend Alvin that I told ya’ about. Alvin, I’d like you to meet—”
Oh, God. It couldn’t be. Could it?
The name flew out of my mouth. “Uncle Alvin?” I felt half sick to my stomach.
Miss Priscilla flipped down her visor. Her painted mouth was just a-smiling up in the dinky mirror. “Oh! You two know each other?”
Uncle Alvin turned around and looked at me like he was seeing the ghost of the voodoo queen Marie Laveau sitting on the backseat of that SUV Tahoe truck.
“Armani Curtis?”
“You lost her? How could you? You’re so stupid!” I cried the words.
“Armani, don’t . . .” Matthew turned my face so I was looking at him and not my ugly uncle. I fell into Matthew’s chest and buried my face there.
Uncle Alvin let out a sob.
“Oh, my,” Miss Priscilla said in her worry voice.
My uncle opened his door and got out. He glanced back at me as he walked slowly off.
A zap of angry electricity ran up my back.
He stopped walking and went to hanging his head.
“Honeybee, we need to talk.”
“You don’t understand.” I took in a gulp of air-conditioner air. “He’s mean to TayTay.”
“Who’s TayTay?” Matthew asked.
“My cousin. My best friend,” I stifled a cry. “His daughter.” I pointed out the window. “The daughter he lost.”
“Oh,” Matthew said.
Without taking the time to think first, I got out of the truck. I grabbed hold of Memaw’s locket and walked slow around the backside of the SUV. I stopped when the man I’d been holding hate for looked up. We stared at each other. I didn’t realize it till right then that I’d never really looked TayTay’s dad in the face before. The man standing in front of me didn’t look mean at all. He looked . . . sad.
“I let her down when she needed me the most.” His eyes dropped away from mine. “I was passed out drunk when that ol’ she-devil Katrina put the Nines under water. I woke up floatin’ on the sofa, and my baby girl was gone.” He was crying. So was I. “I pray every night that God’s lookin’ after her—”
All the mad left me right then.
“Uncle Alvin.” I was calling him by his name for the first time that I could remember. “We’re gonna find her, I know we will.”
A sob came from him. He slumped so far forward I thought he was gonna tip. His head, covered in gray-black fuzz, went to bobbing up and down.
I slowly wrapped my arms around his middle. At first he just stood there crying, letting me do all the hugging. But then he had his arms around me too. The weight of his head laid up on top of mine.
“I’m sorry,” my uncle whisper-cried.
“Me too,” I said.
“Do you think my baby will ever forgive me?” He pulled back and looked at me.
I wiped my eyes on my shirt sleeve. “TayTay’s the nicest person I know. She loves you—she told me so.”
“She said that?”
“Yes, sir, she did.”
He sniffed and nodded, standing a tiny bit straighter.
When Miss Priscilla cleared her throat, we looked and seen her standing there dabbing at her face with a tissue.
“When y’all are ready, we really should get a move on,” she said all soft.
Right before I opened my door and he opened his, Uncle Alvin said, “Thank you, Armani. You’re good people. I know your daddy’s proud of you.”
I settled into my seat, more tired and wore out than ever. I looked out my window. The moon was gone. I couldn’t find it nowhere.
CHAPTER 53
We rode in silence a good while, and slowly the sky changed to dark gray. I sat with my head pressed up against the window watching the shadows of the outside world pass by.
“I’ll never forget the day your daddy came to our house.”
I lifted my head off the window and looked at Matthew. “My daddy’s been to your house? Why? When?”
“Back when Auntie Mama first got her wheelchair. Georgie told your daddy ’bout how she couldn’t get in the house without bein’ lifted and he came over that next weekend. He sure did.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Yep. Him an’ Georgie showed up with a whole truckload of wood from the old gym floor. Remember when they tore that up? Anyway, it was a cool ramp. Shoot, Filet Gumbo loved it more than anybody.”
“Filet Gumbo?”
“Yeah, our dog.”
“Y’all named your dog after food?” Little Cricket popped in my head.
Matthew laughed, “Lukey thought the pup was the color of gumbo, and the name stuck. We didn’t know she was gonna grow up and be all speckled, y’know? It was a good name. She was a good dog.”
“What happened to her?”
“I don’t know. Everything happened so fast. The water—”
He didn’t have to say nothing else. I knew.
; “But anyway,” he said after we sat not talking for a few minutes. “I was so embarrassed when your daddy an’ Georgie came inside for a glass of Auntie Mama’s lemonade.” He shook his head all slow.
“Why?”
“ ’Cause I didn’t want ’em to smell the onions.”
I know my eyes about popped right out of my head when Matthew Boman said that. I had an instant memory of how them kids smelled walking down the aisle on our bus.
“Onions? What’re you talkin’ about?” I was more than grateful that the boy was busy staring off into space and not looking my way. It was still too dark outside for him to see the color of embarrassed splashed all over my face, but I was worried he might feel it—it was that strong.
“Look, I ain’t trying to be disrespectful,” he said, “but Auntie Mama, well, she was weird. I mean, she was a real nice lady and all, and she was a good mama to me an’ the kids. I think she had a special likin’ for Lukey.” He looked over at me. I sat quiet and just listened. “She never took us to church or nothin’ like I remember our real mama doin’, but she prayed all the time and burned so many candles I thought for sure she was gonna burn the house down someday.”
“Did the candles smell like onions?”
Matthew let out a loud laugh. “Course the candles didn’t smell like onions. The onions smelled like onions.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Every night after supper, Auntie Mama and Martha cut up four whole onions—one in a bowl for every room in the house.”
“Why? Like some kinda voodoo or somethin’?”
“Naw, it weren’t like that. She said it was ’cause the onions would soak up all the germs in the house so us kids wouldn’t get sick.”
I wanted to say, Oh, that’s why y’all had that smell! But I didn’t. I just said, “Are you serious?” Of course I knew the boy was serious. I’d smelled the proof with my own nose.
“Yeah. Martha came home from school one day cryin’ her eyes out, sayin’ her teacher pulled her out in the hall to tell her she needed to bathe more. Told my sister she stunk. Martha cried herself to sleep every night for a week.”
Upside Down in the Middle of Nowhere Page 21
