by Carina Adams
"I said, get your hands off me!" an angry voice pulled me from my thoughts. I turned and hurried toward the back of the building, Candy behind me.
"If you don't stop your bitchin', I'm gonna teach you a lesson you won't soon forget," a man's voice growled back. A voice I recognized all too well.
I rounded the corner and paused, unsure of what was waiting for me. Candy stopped short beside me. Shooter and a woman I’d never met were so lost in their argument they didn't see us.
"Son of a…" Candy trailed off, her whispered voice full of panic. "That’s his wife. See if you can stop him before he gets physical again. I'll find Slash."
She ran off before I could question the words she'd just said. Wife. Physical again. Fucker. I headed for them.
Shooter’s wife tried to pull away. "You're hurting me!"
Shooter yanked on her arm again, digging his fingers in further, making her cry out. "You're hurting me," he mocked back in a high-pitched whiny voice, shaking her hard. "You haven't begun to hurt, girlie. You fuckin' embarrassed me in front of everyone!"
The blood drained from her face. "You embarrassed yourself! How was I supposed to know that you were fucking that girl? She's young enough to be your granddaughter!"
I was close enough to see the fear in her eyes as he raised his hand to backhand her, but I wasn't about to let him connect. Reaching out, I grabbed his arm and yanked him around. Shooter's eyes grew large, full of fury when he realized it was me interrupting him.
He let go of his wife's arm and fisted my shirt, hauling me forward to meet him. I was taller by a good three or four inches, but he weighed as much as a small whale.
"When are you gonna learn your fuckin' place, Prospect?"
I laughed down into his reddened face, not even bothering to try to force his hands off me. "The same time you learn to keep your nasty fucking hands to yourself."
I heard the yelp of fear coming from his old lady before I felt the pain in my gut. Jesus, the old man could throw a punch, and I doubled over before I could stop myself. I turned toward the woman, planning to tell her to run, when a left hook connected with my back. I swallowed a groan, working through the pain that only a kidney shot could bring.
He fought dirty. We both knew that I couldn't even try to defend myself; striking a brother in anger would mean that I'd never patch in. Fighting an original member of the club, not to mention my VP, would be signing my death warrant.
Instead, I forced myself to stand and face him. The next hit was to the face, splitting my lip. The fourth to my eye, making me realize how glad I was that I'd been here to stop him from hitting his old lady. He'd have killed her, if he'd used this much force on her.
Before he could land another blow, he was pulled back. Prez and Tiny dragged him away while two sets of arms closed around me, as if I was dumb enough to go after him.
Over Slasher's shoulder, Shooter's eyes met mine. "Interfere in my shit again and I'll kill you, you dumb fuck!"
"Jesus, I leave you alone for two seconds and you have all the fun without me." Matt stepped in front of me, blocking Shooter from my view. His nose wrinkled as his eyes moved over my face. "You’re gonna look like shit tomorrow."
I answered with a middle finger. "Get off me!" I growled, shrugging off the arms holding me. Tank moved into my line of vision as I grabbed my side. "I'm fine," I managed to snap as his eyebrows rose in concern.
"I fuckin' hate that asshat!" he snarled, staring off to where his dad and most of the original crew were standing. "One day, he's gonna piss off the wrong person and they're gonna show him the other side of that gun he loves so much. I wanna be there when it happens."
"You and me both," Matt grumbled as he sent one more glaring look in their direction.
"Oh, for fuck’s sake!" Jenny snapped as I limped into the bar a few minutes later. "Is there ever gonna be a time I can leave you pups alone where you won't get into trouble?"
She pushed me down into a chair and started poking at my face with a wet cloth. I tried to move away, but she grabbed my chin roughly. “Sit still!” she demanded. After she'd cleaned all the blood away and brought me an ice pack for my eye, she sat next to me. "Tell me the other guy looks worse."
"You know I can't fight a brother."
She inhaled sharply, turning to my friends. "A patched member did this to you?" The shock in her voice was laughable, considering the fucked-up shit I knew she'd seen in her own lifetime. When no one answered, her surprise turned to anger. "Which one?"
Again, we were quiet. It was club business, and it was over. No need to get the her in too deep. She sat back and glared at us.
"Let it go, Jenny girl." Matt's voice was soft, but it held a warning.
Jenny narrowed her eyes and tipped her head back, watching us. Those eyes suddenly lit in realization. "Fuckin' Shooter!" Looking over my injuries once more, she shook her head. "I'm not gonna even ask what he did, because…" She trailed off and looked away, but not before I saw the hatred cross her face.
She didn't have to ask because she already knew. We all knew exactly what kind of a man our esteemed vice president was. Yet no one ever did anything about it because we couldn’t. Standing against him was treason.
When she turned back, she grabbed my chin again and leaned forward, staring into my eyes. "They can't do shit to you if you're patched in. I've heard them talk; they're votin’ you in. Once they do, next time he comes at you, you don't hold back. You go after him with every goddamn thing you've got. Give him the payback he's got coming. Promise?" I didn't have a chance to respond before Jenny stood and walked away.
"Jesus, I need a drink!" Tank sounded like he'd been the one to have his ass handed to him. "Who's with me?"
I raised a hand in response as I watched Jenny leave. She didn't have to worry. Shooter's reign had ended.
I'd dealt with men like him for way too long, and I was done playing by his rules. I wasn't a stand-and-watch type of guy, and despite the lack of that patch, I needed to get back to who I was. Next time he went after someone, I hoped I was there. Because I sure as hell was going to put a stop to it. And, patched member or not, next time Shooter came at me, I was putting that old dog down.
4
Cris
“Tell me what I can do,” Katie begged from her seat beside me on the couch. “Please let me help you.”
It had been a few hours since I’d gotten the news I’d secretly hoped to never receive, but the shock was still so new I couldn’t process it. I’d cleaned up the kitchen as much as I could, because I hadn’t wanted my friend to know anything was wrong. As much as I wanted to act normal, to pretend I was someone else, my mind wouldn’t shut off and I’d barely managed to drag myself to the couch.
I’d sat there since, watching the sunlight fade and the streetlights come on, unable to move. When Katie had gotten home, I’d made up an excuse about a sudden stomach bug hitting me, figuring it would buy me some time. She hated getting sick, and I knew she would avoid me at all costs.
I hadn’t planned on her making me chicken noodle soup, though. Or seeing the letter when she’d opened the trash. Supper forgotten, she’d rushed to my side and had been there since, sitting next to me in quiet reflection, even when I knew her body was begging her to sleep. Together, we’d watched the black of the night disappear and the pink of daybreak streak across the horizon.
When I didn’t answer, she brushed her fingertips lightly over my forehead before wrapping an arm tightly around my shoulders. “Did I ever tell you I was adopted?”
She’d never told me, but I’d known. I wasn’t sure what had happened to her family, or why she and her sister and brothers had been placed in different homes, but when two families were as intertwined as ours were, secrets were rarely kept quiet.
For years, I’d heard my parents whisper about Rob’s past. They’d gotten attached to my brother’s best friend, and half the time I felt they loved him more than me. God knew he hadn’t been the disappointment I was. But no
one had ever told me exactly what had happened to Rob and Katie, or their other siblings. Apparently, they’d thought I couldn’t handle it.
Kate and I had never talked about it either. Her childhood, and the pain I was sure it caused her were in the past. Just like we’d never talked about Dale or what happened to me.
“One day, I’ll be able to say the words out loud,” Katie mused quietly. “One day, I’ll be healed enough to talk about what miserable and hateful people my biological parents were. Maybe one day, I’ll even be able to face what my dad did. Admit to more than my therapist what he took from me. How he hurt me.”
My heart broke at those words, at that insinuation.
No. Not my sweet, sweet Katie. Not her dad. My breath caught as I fought the tears burning the back of my eyes. My fingers tightened around her hand–the one I hadn’t realized I was holding.
“One thing I do know,” she continued softly, “is that it wasn’t my fault. It took me a really long time to see that. Even longer to say the words out loud.”
I hated her father even more in that moment. Despised him in a way I’d never hated anyone. Except myself.
“Just like I know it wasn’t your fault, Cris.”
Bitter tears leaked down my cheeks, burning me the way I knew holy water would.
Katie was right. It wasn’t her fault. I hoped her father was locked away, rotting in a cell for what he’d done.
Yet Kate was also wrong. Because unlike her, I hadn’t been a victim. I’d been a willing participant, even though that fact made my skin crawl. I’d done everything he’d told me to do, because I’d been so afraid he was going to hurt Matty. Everything that had happened had been my fault. If I’d only told someone what was going on, or if I had insisted that my mother not leave me alone with him, Matt would’ve never gone away.
Dale Glass was out of prison. In that very moment, while I sat on a couch and let my best friend comfort me, Dale was free. Which meant that he was coming for me. The last letter he’d sent had promised that he would find me, no matter how much time had passed or where my parents had sent me. Even if he had to kill, he’d vowed, he would find a way to get to me.
I’d believed him then. Just like I still believed those words years later. As much as I thought I’d grown, as strong as I thought I’d become, I was once again that little girl, terrified of what Dale was going to do.
I couldn’t deny the truth anymore. I’d never be able to take back what had happened. But I could face it and finally admit everything to my brother. And hope to God he could protect me once more.
“I need Matty.”
Her face softened slightly and she bit her lip. “I called. As soon as I saw that god-awful notice, I grabbed the phone and called them.”
My eyes widened in surprise and I glanced around the room, half expecting to see him burst through our door. “He’s on his way?”
She shook her head sadly and sighed. “I couldn’t get them.” Her lips twisted. “They’re still not answering. If they’d just give in and get mobile phones,” she sighed, “this wouldn’t be an issue.”
I ignored the fact that she’d said ‘them’ and ‘they’ instead of ‘him’ and ‘he’, and focused on the sadness that washed over me. “I need Matty.” I repeated, realizing how much I desperately wanted my big brother to wrap his arms around me and tell me everything would be alright.
“I’ll try again.”
“No.” An idea struck and I made up my mind as I pushed myself off the couch. “I can’t wait. I have to see him.”
I rushed into my bedroom and pulled a small duffle out of my closet. Tossing it onto the bed, I rushed around, yanking clothes from drawers. I planned to be gone only a few days, but I didn’t want to over pack or forget anything I couldn’t live without.
When I made my way back out to the living room a few minutes later, I jolted in surprise. Katie had gotten dressed and was leaning against the wall, her own bag at her feet. She glanced up, offering a small smile.
“What are you doing?” I demanded, dreading her answer.
She held up a piece of paper in answer. “If we hurry, we can catch the Greyhound.”
“We?” I repeated, scowling. I couldn’t drag her into this shit.
“We,” she answered, her voice firm. When I sighed, she crossed her arms over her chest and leveled me with an intense look. “Do you have any idea where they live?”
I shook my head as panic crept in. I’d planned to ask her for their address. “You can’t miss classes,” I pointed out quietly. “You have a French test today.”
She lifted a shoulder. “I can make it up. If not, my grade can withstand the hit.” When I started to argue, her look turned to steel. “My best friend just got life-altering news and spent the night crying her heart out on the sofa. I’m not letting you go anywhere alone. I’d suggest that we just take the car, but I can’t drive in that city and you…” She trailed off and glanced down at the watch on her wrist. “If you want to make the bus, we have to leave now.”
I didn’t know whether to be relieved at the knowledge I didn’t have to go alone or be worried that I was dragging her away from school. I pushed both feelings down and focused instead on the fact that in a few short hours I’d be face-to-face with my brother and I’d have to tell him things I’d never wanted to say, things he would never want to hear. I was quiet, lost in my thoughts, as I followed Kate out to the car and she drove us to the station.
We’d just settled into our seats on the bus when Katie placed a hand over both of mine. I hadn’t noticed until that moment that I’d gone between wringing them and drumming my fingers, as my anxious energy worked its way out. It wasn’t Dale who worried me, even though the idea of him following me, watching us, had kept me glancing over my shoulder while we bought tickets.
“We’ll be on the way in a few minutes,” Kate whispered, trying to offer comfort.
I merely nodded, unable to explain to her the real reason I was so damn nervous.
“I’m going to take a nap.” She leaned back as the bus started to move, settling into her seat, and closed her eyes. “Try to get some rest, okay?”
My mind was far too active to allow me to sleep.
While I was relieved and excited to be on my way to Matt, I wasn’t foolish enough to think that I’d be able to avoid his best friend any longer. I’d known this day would come, but like with Dale, I’d hoped to have more time to prepare.
I hadn’t seen Rob Doyle in years, carefully planning all my weekend visits to my parents on the days he’d come up to see Katie. In fact, I’d spent the last few years pretending that he wasn’t related to my best friend at all. I’d never understand how someone as amazing as Kate could be a sister to that asshat.
When Kate talked about her brother, I pictured her little Colton—he was a cute kid, always laughing. Just like I imagined that Matty was talking about Tank when he mentioned his best friend. Since they both knew how much I hated Rob, and that he felt just as strongly about me, they let me live in my alternate reality.
I wasn’t ready to face Rob, to see the man he’d become, or the pain in his eyes that I doubted would ever go away. He didn’t know about my promise to Hannah. He had no idea that I’d let her down. But I knew. And that was enough.
Matty had told me once that I clung to my anger because if I let it go, if I forgave myself, I’d have to let Hannah go completely. He was taking social work classes, so maybe he was on to something. I thought it was bullshit, though.
I clung to the anger, the hatred I felt, because part of me blamed Rob for what had happened to Hannah. If he hadn’t been so fucking stubborn, he would’ve believed me about Ali and seen the truth. If he had just kept a hold on his temper, he wouldn’t have ended up back in Longcreek, and he could’ve protected Hannah from her mom.
On the other side of the spectrum, if he hadn’t gone back to juvie, I never would’ve gotten to know the little girl who changed my life.
I did feel bad that the l
ast words I’d said to Rob had been filled with anger and hate. I wished I could do that day over. Change things. Make him listen to me. Maybe the outcome would’ve been different.
Then again, maybe things had happened the way they were supposed to.
Staring out my window, I let myself remember that day almost six years before.
Who in the hell throws a baby shower for a teenager? Not one teen, I reminded myself. Two. Two just turned sixteen-year-olds, at that.
My mom, that had been who.
I’d rolled my eyes, both annoyed and disgusted at the absurd idea, and surveyed the room again, surprised by the number of people who’d come to celebrate this horrific tragedy. Not only had the soon-to-be mom still been a child herself, the idiot who knocked her up had been the same age. They couldn’t yet vote - hell, they couldn’t even drive. But they could have a baby.
Their lives were over. Forever ruined. Why would anyone be happy for them?
I’d just turned fourteen, but it was obvious I was the only person in the entire room with a clue. Sure, the old women from my mom’s church claimed they had come because the idea of a sweet little bundle of joy was too good to ignore. In reality, they just wanted to give tidbits of advice to the parents-to-be, because being a teenage parent now was exactly like it had been being a teenage parent in 1942.
The other guests weren't much better. I’d been introduced to teachers from Rob and Ali’s school, a handful of middle-aged adults from the store where Robby was working, and even a few guards from Longcreek. Call me naïve, but their help would’ve been more beneficial about seven months before in the form of a little foil packet. ‘Oh, you want to have sex? Okay, here you go, just make sure you use protection.’
Hmmm. Maybe I should have bought them a box of condoms as a present, that way they wouldn't make the same mistake twice. Then again, the thought of encouraging the two to have sex again made my stomach churn in disgust.
