by Carmen Faye
“I’ll be back,” Logan stated and walked towards the bathroom. The line of coke in his pocket was calling his name.
He wasn’t an addict. Not like one would think. He just grabbed him a little bit every now and then to settle the world and focus. Right now was the perfect time. His world was collapsing and everything that mattered was on the line. He needed to be able to see things from a clear standpoint.
It wasn’t like he had a problem.
The problem with drugs isn’t the alteration that happens to your mind. It’s the fact that it’s subjective. If Logan could do them and always have the same demeanor, he would do them more often. But any slight variation in amount, consistency, ingredients, or his own frame of mind, and the reaction could change. He would handle it differently.
That was the case when he did what turned out to be three lines. At first he felt the familiar rush. But within an hour he was on the sofa with Amanda in a full blown panic attack. She was a little worried for him, assuming he’d overdosed.
“I’m scared,” he admitted and she looked at him, assuming he meant about the drugs. “We’re in danger.”
“Danger? What kind of danger, baby?” she cooed at him, stroking his hair and trying to calm him.
“The kind where we die.” He admitted.
Over the rest of the evening, Brent Logan did something he’d never done. He let down his guard and shared details with someone else.
He began with his youth. His desire to be an agent. His hard work to get there. Then he shared about that time in his early twenties when he’d had a few too many drinks after work. Against better advice he’d driven himself home. But he hadn’t made it. His car had swerved and hit another. A woman and her child. Small child.
He had been scared to death. Especially when they’d brought a helicopter in to lift the child to the hospital. He was fresh on the job, whole life ahead of him and he’d been the culprit in a drunk-driving accident.
He could only imagine the hell his dad would give him if he’d lost that position so soon after getting it. Especially for such a stupid reason. He’d panicked. But then his boss had shown up. And he’d taken him aside and told him he’d handle it and they needed to meet in the morning.
Logan confessed to Amanda that he should have known that something was up when the meeting was private and off-duty. The boss said the child had died and the mother was taking it to the media. Drunk-driving cop killing a child in an accident? It’d be a department embarrassment. Logan had been mortified.
When his boss had told him his blood alcohol content, Logan had fallen to the floor in tears. He knew what would happen. There wouldn’t be any paid administrative leave. There was the real possibility he might actually see jail time. He’d lose everything. And he couldn’t do that. Hell, he’d just put a ring on his girlfriend’s finger. They had their whole lives ahead of them.
That was when he was given a deal that was too nice to pass up. He could walk away unscathed. The women would be duly compensated for her loss, and never go anywhere near a reporter. His record would remain pristine. There was only one catch.
Next thing he knew he was running weapons locally. Working with major dealers and helping to get them where they went. He still dealt with the guilt of that accident, but he reminded himself that he couldn’t change that but he could provide for his own family. So he had done it and drowned the thoughts with drugs and alcohol.
It would have been fine, except that he wasn’t aware of the plumber upstairs that day. It was a rookie mistake. But it had to be taken care of. He’d been seen.
He thought he’d get lucky when Hudson went the way of crime. Having that idiot planted inside was a big help. But he needed Hudson gone. Not only because he was a threat, but because he was interfering in business. Logan was supposed to get Guiterro and his boss was pissed off.
Then that damned bitch showed up and fucked it all up. Logan needed her gone too and the best way was to set her up for Hudson to do it himself. Then he’d have both of them out of the way.
The rest of the mess had just happened. But now he had a scary man threatening everyone’s life and he didn’t know how to fix it. His real boss at the ATF was checking into things, and he was about to lose it all anyway.
Amanda listened without much comment. She didn’t freak out. She didn’t act crazy. She just stood and told him she was going to go out with her friends. She would be back and she was okay. Logan assumed she more bothered by the fact that he had freaked out on drugs than she was about the story. Amanda had a way of thinking that she was exempt from anything. Like it was all just a fairy tale and soon prince charming would save her.
As she left and Logan sobered up he realized what he’d done. If he could have changed anything in his life in those thirty seconds, he would have taken back all he’d said to her. Because he damn well knew it just turned her into another loose end, another liability.
CHAPTER 33
There were a lot of things the guys could call Asher Hudson. And they had. They were beginning to think he was disorganized. That perhaps he was distracted. That he was losing his backbone. But the one thing no one had ever called him was dumb.
That’s because he was not a dumb man. He had known for some time that there was a mole in his organization. But the point when they knew where to find Melissa when she’d left the cottage meant that it was serious. In other words, someone was helping whoever was trying to kill her. That meant that everyone was in danger.
The only thing he could do was to weed out the mole and that would take some ground work. He couldn’t sit back and trust someone else to handle it. He hoped with his life that it wasn’t Dakota, but with lives at stake he couldn’t take a chance on anything. That meant he had to solve it himself.
It had taken some thought. How the hell do you weed a bad guy out of a group of men you trusted and vice versa? Hudson didn’t want hard feelings between any of them. If they felt like he suspected them it would create turmoil at a time when they needed it least.
At first he’d thought about talking to them individually. He was pretty sure he’d get a good feel for who they were and what they’d do. But then again, he’d have never guessed it to begin with. So he couldn’t really trust that method. Especially since he didn’t want to set off warning bells that worked their way right back to Logan.
That was when he’d realized the perfect idea. He needed to meet with the group. Discuss the things that had transpired. Fuller’s accident. Her lockdown and involvement with police. Logan. And Guiterro. He had to keep it to issues that were a threat to the club. He would make the meeting general enough that everyone got the same idea at once.
Then he would start working his way around the guys individually. Sharing his ‘private’ concerns. Starting with compliments about things they’d handled individually. Let them know he appreciated and trusted them. Make note of the concerns and the plan he had in his mind.
This conversation would be different for each of them. But it would all include one strict detail. He was thinking about stepping down to tend to his own life, and he was hoping that one of them was discreet, responsible and detailed enough to take over the role.
That would eliminate any intermingling about the conversations. The mole wouldn’t talk to the others because they’d want to tell Logan or whoever they reported to. The rest would feel like they were in the running for leader and they’d feel it was more of a competition. So they’d keep quiet.
Then he would wait to see what information the ATF had. Since each person would be given something different, he would then know which one was talking. He only hoped that it wasn’t the one that would hurt him the most.
It was a brilliant plan and that thought is what brought the smile to his face as he led the meeting. And kept the smile on his face as he translated his plan the next morning to the woman who needed to know what might be facing her soon.
***
Nelson looked in the mirror and noticed the chee
sy grin on his face. He couldn’t deny that he’d been worried. When Hudson had called an emergency meeting, he felt sure that Hudson figured out someone was ratting them out. Fuck them for using that info to run her off the road in that moment.
Hell, Nelson wasn’t even sure she was alive. Neither was his boss if he was being honest. And judging by his panic and disorientation, he was being honest.
But for Nelson, the meeting had shown him one thing. If Hudson knew anything, he didn’t suspect the right person. But chances were, he knew nothing. It had also shown him how dumb that man really was.
He’d insinuated that he was planning to hand over the reins to someone and made Nelson believe it was going to be him. What an idiot, he thought as he pulled out his razor.
Not only that, but Nelson wasn’t even true to the club. Although he had to admit that the idea of being boss man was appealing. He’d have to screw over Logan, but did that matter? He’d have all he needed and be untouchable.
He still couldn’t believe Hudson had confided in him. Down to sharing his belief that the hot little agent was trying to frame him. Nelson of course fed into this. After all, if Hudson took care of her, it’d make his and Logan’s life easier.
Nelson was no idiot. He watched Hudson and saw him have the same damned conversation with each of them. He wasn’t sure why he was making them all believe they’d be leader, but he didn’t care. Maybe it was a control tactic to make the group uniform. Thinking he’d shared something special with them. Truth was they all heard the same exact thing. Nelson hated being played for a fool.
He wondered as he dialed Logan’s number if he’d be allowed a turn with the agent before she was removed from the situation. He didn’t much think so, unless he was chosen to do it. But he didn’t think Hudson was going to allow him that much control. It didn’t matter. At least he could make the boss happy for a minute.
“Logan,” his voice sounded drained.
“I’ve got good news,” Nelson spoke proudly.
“About time,” he sighed.
“Hudson is going to take out Fuller on his own. He’s pretty sure she’s setting him up.”
“Really?” Logan’s voice perked up. “That is very good news.”
“I thought you’d like it.” Nelson was still smiling. “I’ll let you know what happens next.”
With that, they hung up. Nelson was proud of himself for finally doing something to please the boss. Life was only going to get better for him.
CHAPTER 34
She was pacing the floor as she read the information in front of her. Larsen had dropped it off. Part of her was angry. Part of her was concerned. Everything in her wanted to see Hudson and discuss it.
She had to quiet the beast within. She had agreed to do things his way. Even if his way seemed wrong to her. She had promised to trust him.
It wasn’t a matter of trust. She did trust him with her feelings and her safety. She trusted him to make sure she was okay. She even trusted him to have a common goal of good. She didn’t doubt any of that.
It was Hudson’s methods that were making her crazy. He was achieving his good through crime. And she was wholeheartedly against crime. There were other ways to fight the bad guys. Even the ones that came dressed up as good guys.
Fuller had lived a life that had her hunting criminals. And now she was privy to information she never wanted to know and she had to keep her fucking mouth shut. She couldn’t say anything. Her eyes and ears had to remind closed.
Turning herself away from criminal activity wasn’t something she was okay with. It burned at her. Even as she lied in what was becoming her own prison cell every evening, she was haunted by the fact that she was ignoring things that she detested to her very core.
That particular evening she was having an internal debate about the future of her relationship with Hudson. She was too far into this case and her own danger to back out of that, but she wasn’t certain that their relationship could withstand this huge difference.
Criminals were criminals and they typically didn’t change. Was she supposed the leave the ATF and live a life as the wife of a thug? Or was it an old lady?
She loved him and that much she was becoming well aware of. The mere thought of Asher Hudson had her blood boiling and her heart racing. She had vivid dreams of their passionate encounters and she longed to see him daily.
But there was a part of him that she hated. Since none of the other guys even knew about his intentions, she highly doubted that he’d be giving up his criminal activities anytime in the near future.
Part of her was angry at him. The rest of her was angry at them. They took a boy and created what Hudson had become. And while his mission was a good one in the end, the methods left a lot to be desired. And he’d been formed into a criminal whose very life would be endangered if he suddenly walked away as everyone went down.
That was another thing they hadn’t tackled in their talks. What about his so-called family? Was she supposed to turn a blind eye to the fact that they were one hundred and fifty percent criminals, some of them violent? Was she supposed to forget the cartel and the weapons and the drugs?
Fuller had no real idea how she was going to handle any of this. She only knew that she had two distinct sides of herself battling and one of them was going to be victorious. As it was becoming known, either side would be the death of someone and something very dear to her.
***
Larsen sat there in mild disbelief. The actual National Director of the ATF was standing in his office. The guy who didn’t visit lowly police detectives. That much Larsen was sure of. And here he was. Wanting to discuss things with him as if they’d known each other for a while.
The detective had watched a lot of crime TV and this resembled several plots. Federals and locals working hand in hand to solve a case. That shit never really happened. And this guy wasn’t a field agent. Hell, he wasn’t someone that worked. Not really.
Besides, their case was internal. According to what the Director was telling him, he was concerned about the ATF office in town and he wanted some information.
Naturally, Larsen complied. He offered up anything he had on any of the cases. He shared his personal views about the agents, including his declaration that Brent Logan was a prick. The Director mostly listened.
Larsen watched his twist the expensive watch on his hand. He wanted to ask if he taking up too much of his precious time with actual work, but he kind of liked the guy so he didn’t. Just because the man had never gotten his hands dirty didn’t mean he didn’t earn his job. He might have done it a different way.
After he’d answered all the questions, Larsen stood up to escort the man out.
Then came the expected demand. “Detective, I’d like to chat with Agent Fuller.”
Larsen toyed With that, for a few moments. He didn’t want to let anyone else near her, but he knew that she’d be three shades of pissed the fuck off if she missed a chance to discuss her ideas and theories with the one man that could bring back the justice she was so confident in.
“Of course,” he replied. “Let me check with her and see if she’s in shape to have company.” He finished, allowing himself for a way out. “Do you mind if I call you tomorrow with a meeting time?”
The Director nodded and thanked Larsen for all he’d done. He said he was very glad the local police had someone willing to step up when his own agency didn’t seem to be able to. Larsen had smiled like a Cheshire cat and offered a simple my pleasure.
After the man had left, Larsen picked up the phone.
“We need to talk. I’m coming over.” He spoke quickly as he picked up his jacket and headed out towards the cabin he’d never told another soul about.
CHAPTER 35
She seemed edge, like she wasn’t thrilled with anything that was going on. He could have told her that’s how it’d be. She’d been so big on not trusting Hudson that she’d forgotten one small detail. She was a good guy.
He was not. He trie
d to be, but he’d taken a dark and dirty road to get there. Taking down Logan didn’t make him a hero if people died to make it happen. And Hudson was a criminal. He had to do whatever it took. This wasn’t a late night show. It was reality. And in reality suspicion leads to death.
Larsen had never been a man that liked to put other people’s lives on the line. He didn’t send them in to become what they were after. But that was the nature of life. Sometimes the hunter becomes the hunted. In this case, he was certain that Hudson would always be who he was.
Lately she’d seemed to have that feeling. She’d also seemed to have a big issue with pretending it wasn’t happening. Larsen knew that he was going to have to get her out of here soon. She was used to working, not being stuck and helpless.
