by Pamela Pope
The first disruption occurred the second week in June. Meredith's grandmother, who lived in Scotland, suffered a severe heart attack, and as there were no other relatives it meant that Julia Paxton had to go up there and see what she could do for her mother.
'We'll manage just fine,' said Howard. 'Mrs Taylor won't mind putting in more hours, and Meredith and I are quite capable of looking after ourselves.'
Mrs Taylor was the daily help, and quite indispensable.
'Don't worry, darling,' said Meredith, 'I can cope with Daddy. He's as good as gold. And if I need advice I'll phone Ellen.'
She and Ellen had become friends, as Julia had hoped they would, and with the comforting thought that Ellen's practical help would be there if needed it was easy to persuade her mother to catch the first available train.
The second thing that happened had far-reaching, consequences, and occurred only a day after Julia had left for Scotland.
Meredith was alone in the office. Joss was attending Court and had already phoned asking her to cancel his afternoon appointments as he wasn't going to be back until late, so when there was a commotion in the outer office she knew it wasn't anyone who was expected. She heard a child shouting, but took no notice, until the door of Joss's room burst open and Ellen was there with Oliver, the baby, in her arms.
'Meredith, they say Joss is out, but I must see him. How long will he be, or where can I get hold of him? It's desperately urgent!'
She had never seen Ellen agitated before. The wonderful calmness that usually soothed everyone else had disappeared and she was in a regular flap.
'Sit down a minute, Ellen,' Meredith said gently, guiding her to the armchair in spite of protests. 'Joss won't be back today. He's in Court. Can you tell me what's the matter and perhaps I can help.'
'I don't know what to do,' cried Ellen. 'I phoned your mother just now and I can't get any reply... .'
'She's in Scotland.'
'Oh, no!' Her wail was imitated by the baby, who thought it was a joke. 'I've had some terrible news, Meredith. Ian has, been very badly injured in a bomb blast and I've got to fly out to him straight away. He's been moved to a big military hospital, and if I don't get there within the next twenty-four hours it may be too late.'
'Ellen! I'm so sorry.' Meredith put an arm round the other girl as she choked back a sob.
Ellen looked up at her, her eyes swimming with tears. 'But what am I going to do with the children?'
There was a tea stain on her white blouse and her denim skirt had been washed so often the colour was almost non-existent. It was easy to see why when Kirsty came running in and climbed on to her mother's lap, regardless of muddy shoes. With two children now bouncing on her and squealing playfully it was no wonder the poor girl couldn't think straight.
Meredith took a deep breath and put on her most efficient, nothing-is-impossible air which always got results.
'That's the least of your worries,' she said, in a reassuring tone that she hoped was convincing enough to fool herself as well as Ellen. 'I can manage the children for you. No problem at all.'
CHAPTER FOUR
The baby was screaming, and Kirsty was tugging at a piece of French bread that Shaun had taken from her, both children shouting with full lung power until even the baskets suspended from the ceiling seemed to squeak in protest. Only Gary was quiet, taking advantage of the changed routine to fill himself with extra bread and jam which Ellen had said was not good for him. Wet wellingtons were scattered in muddy patches over the dark red quarry tiles, and the rush mats were sliding from view under the table along with various toys. Dirty pans filled the sink, and crockery from the eventful high tea was jumbled ready for washing, remnants of the meal which Gary hadn't cared to finish up coagulating on plates with nursery rhyme edges. Meredith left it all while she boiled some milk for Oliver's bottle, feeling the sooner she could get him fed, bathed and put to bed the easier it would be to deal with the rest. The kitchen was in chaos, and Ellen had only been gone two hours.
In the midst of all this confusion, Joss came home. Such was the noise that no one heard his car, or the front door, or his footsteps down the hall. When he stood in the kitchen doorway, surveying the scene with growing astonishment, it still took several seconds before his presence was felt; and then all eyes turned towards him.
'What the hell is going on here?' he demanded, his voice deep and reverberating with displeasure. 'Where's Ellen?'
Shaun and Gary scuffed their feet awkwardly, but Kirsty ran to Joss with a great cry of delight, attaching herself to him by clasping both little arms tightly round his legs.
'Uncle Joss, I'm so glad you've come! Mummy's gone away.'
'Ellen is on her way to Saudi Arabia,' said Meredith quietly.
She hoisted the baby higher on to her shoulder, and began transferring the milk from the saucepan to the feeding bottle. Joss was across the kitchen in a few strides. He took the baby from her furiously.
'Don't you know better than to have him that close to the stove! And never pour hot liquid like that while you've got a child in your arms. What are you trying to do? Scald him?'
Oliver continued to scream a moment longer, then his little feet kicked against Joss's chest like an athlete in training and the screams turned to gurgles. Kirsty bobbed up and down beside him, trying to gain attention, but he turned to the two boys near the table.
'Shaun, Gary, start getting some of that washing-up done. You're quite old enough to lend a hand. And you, Kirsty, can stop being a nuisance.' He issued orders as if he was on a parade ground, and the children obeyed him at once. Even Kirsty picked up her boots and stood them tidily near the back door. With everything organised he returned to Meredith. 'Now you can explain what you meant about Ellen.'
The heat from the stove had reddened her face, but his admonitory tone made it burn all the more. She hadn't been home to change her clothes, and the flared black skirt and frilled blouse she had put on that morning looked as if even the dry-cleaners would throw a fit at the sight of them. No wonder Ellen never looked tidy!
'Ian was caught up in a bomb blast,' she said, trying to keep her voice from rising. 'Ellen was in a dreadful state. It seems she may not arrive in time to see him. It's that bad.'
'Why wasn't I informed?'
'We both tried to contact you and were told you were not available, so I made all the arrangements for her and said I would look after the children.'
'My God!' exclaimed Joss.
Meredith gritted her teeth. 'And what's that supposed to mean?'
He looked round the room at the chaos now being brought under limited control, then back to her, raising his thick, dark eyebrows until she felt the full impact of his scornful gaze.
'It means you've got a helluva nerve,' he said. 'You may have been an expert at organising flights in executive jets for business tycoons, but you've no idea how to manage a household, and you don't know a damn thing about handling children, so what right had you to poke your interfering nose in our affairs without consulting anyone?'
'I used my initiative, as I would in any emergency,' snapped Meredith, so angry at his ingratitude she felt like flinging the baby's bottle at him. 'No doubt you would check on all the correct procedures before phoning the fire brigade if the house was burning down!'
'You're too clever by half.'
'And you are a self-opinionated hypocrite! You're evading the issue. Ellen was much too distressed to organise anything, and if you'd ever loved anyone enough you'd know how it feels. Ian was her priority, so I arranged a flight straight away, then undertook to do what I could to relieve her mind of other worries. My father has taken her to the airport.' She tested the heat of the milk on her arm. 'Now, if you'll give me the baby I'll see to his bottle. I assure you the milk is the right temperature. And I've cooked some dinner for you, in case you haven't had any. It's in the oven.'
At the mention of Howard's name he relaxed a little, and when she had seated herself in a low chair he put Oliver i
nto her arms. He seemed stunned, and she realised it must have been quite a shock for him to arrive home expecting everything to be normal and finding instead that the whole routine had collapsed without warning.
Probably Ellen would have sprung to attention the minute Joss came in. She had been very anxious that the chops were done ready for him, and as Meredith prided herself on her cooking ability it had been no trouble to prepare an appetising meal and pop it in a slow oven. It had been far more time-consuming trying to get baked beans on toast for the children's tea while they were in such a turmoil over Ellen's sudden departure. They hadn't been in the least co-operative; in fact Shaun and Gary had been deliberately obstructive, waking the baby early so that he howled all through tea, tormenting Kirsty, then falling out with each other. She hadn't shouted at them, much as she had been tempted. It was their way of reacting to unexpected change and they had to be given time to adjust. But her nerves were badly frayed, and Joss's unwarranted attack had provoked a far more heated response than she would have dared to give otherwise.
She settled Oliver in the crook of her arm, his downy head nestling against the wilted frills of her blouse, and gave him the bottle. There was something enchanting about the effect it had on her as she watched him sucking noisily. The warm kitchen became comfortingly serene, in spite of the clatter the boys were making at the sink, and she gradually absorbed the unfamiliar homeliness. Her index finger caressed the baby's head, and when Kirsty crept up to her she drew her close, including her in the automatic urge to show affection, as if they were her children. It was the first time she had experienced the maternal instinct, and if anyone had told her she would find it a heady sensation she would have laughed.
'I'd better phone Mrs Burns and see if she can come back here tonight,' said Joss. Mrs Burns was an elderly widow who came every morning to help Ellen with the children and the housework. 'I presume you haven't thought that far ahead.'
'She's visiting her sister, I'm afraid,' said Meredith, without looking up.
Joss had perched himself on the edge of the table and was staring at her thoughtfully. She could feel the intensity of his gaze, and smiled inwardly, conscious that she was winning a small victory, which didn't please him at all. Had she looked up she would have been surprised to see the true expression in his eyes. They were clouded with bewilderment, and encompassed the whole domestic scene with a wistfulness she would have found very puzzling.
'In that case,' he said, 'I'm sure you've made alternative arrangements. May I know what they are?'
'I shall be staying here myself,' said Meredith.
He left the table and stood in front of her, a lock of hair falling over his forehead. 'You will do no such thing.'
'Why not?'
'I want her to stay,' said Kirsty, pressing her little body closer.
Gary was splashing Shaun, taking advantage of everyone's preoccupation, but he stopped long enough to give his opinion. 'I don't,' he said. 'She's too bossy.'
Joss went over to the sink and emptied the bowl of water, handing the boys a towel to wipe up; then he came back to Meredith, stripping off his jacket and rolling up his sleeves as if he was about to evict her forcibly.
'I'm perfectly capable of seeing to the children myself,' he said. 'I appreciate what you've done, and I'm sure that offer was meant with the best of intentions, but I don't have to tell you it would be hardly the thing for you to spend the night under this roof with Ellen away.'
'And whose reputation are you worried about? Yours or mine?'
Meredith lifted the baby against her shoulder and got to her feet. She faced Joss squarely, her temperature rising.
'Does that matter?' he asked.
'Not particularly, but it would be nice to know. You once said I was more than a secretary to Piers, implying that we slept together, so I'm sure it isn't my reputation you think would be harmed. It must be your professional image. In which case I'll leave you to put the baby to bed, and I'll be on my way.'
She held Oliver out to him with both arms, but he didn't take him. Oliver wriggled furiously at having his supper time so disrupted and she had to cuddle him again before he started to cry.
'I don't want Meredith to go,' whimpered Kirsty, clinging to Meredith's skirt.
It was like a marital quarrel. The extraordinary thing was, Meredith was beginning to enjoy it. Feuding with Joss was strangely exciting, and the sparks that flew between them made her skin tingle in a way she didn't attempt to analyse.
'If you must know, it's your father who concerns me most,' he told her. 'I should hate him to be disillusioned about you.'
'My father trusts me completely.'
'You mean he actually believes your relationship with Piers was quite innocent?'
Her eyes hardened. 'I mean he knows you are the last person in the world I'd share a bed with!'
'And I assure you I have no intention of taking up where Piers Loring left off,' snarled Joss. 'I don't want any favours.'
It was the cruellest thing he could have said, and there was no longer even an oblique pleasure in sparring with him. They were fighting in earnest. Gary had come up to them and his small blue eyes fixed on them knowingly as he listened.
'You sound like me mum and dad,' Gary observed. 'They used to row like that before me dad walked out.'
Meredith had been about to make a cutting retaliation, but the boy's words brought her up sharply and she was appalled to realise how dreadful their quarrelling must sound to the children. Kirsty had disappeared under the table, and Shaun was gaping at them with much the same expression as Gary. Without saying anything else she put the baby in the carry-cot, steeling herself against his instant wail, and tried not to let Joss see how much he had hurt her. He had turned his back, so she didn't see that there was pain in his eyes, too.
'I'll see you at the office tomorrow morning,' she said, collecting her bag and slipping on her jacket. 'I trust you won't be late. You have an appointment at nine-thirty with Mrs Galmain and she wouldn't approve of being kept waiting.'
She had opened the front door when he called,
'Meredith, wait! You can't rush off like that!'
He was standing in the hallway, his shirt pulled open at the neck, and there was something about him that made her heart contract without warning. She lifted her chin proudly, but let her eyes dwell on him a moment, assessing the strength of his muscular arms and powerful shoulders. It wasn't fair that such an impossible man should be so physically attractive.
'If you're begging me to stay you're wasting your time,' she called back. 'You said you were capable of looking after everything, so I wish you luck. Goodbye, Joss.'
She drove back to Combe Lodge erratically, hoping the local police were nowhere around or they would think she had been drinking. Anger made her movements jerky and she was too overwrought to think clearly. He was an insensitive, callous brute, so full of his own importance he couldn't see farther than the end of his aristocratic nose, and she wished she need never see him again. No sooner did she feel they were beginning to get on better - than he let fly again with words like barbed darts. She detested him!
Her father wouldn't be back for a long time yet, so she had the house to herself, and after a while the quietness began to revive her flagged spirits. She even managed to smile ruefully at her damp, bedraggled reflection in the bathroom mirror. There was no makeup left on her face, her hair was like a haystack, and there were crumbs on the front of her crumpled blouse; all this after a couple of hours' domesticity! Never again would she say it was an easy job looking after children. She would rather sit down to a pile of accounts or type out a dozen legal documents any day; it wasn't half so exhausting. She discarded her clothes and stepped thankfully under the shower, revelling in the freshness of hot water cascading over her body.
Why was it, then, that as soon as she sat down to relax with a compelling new novel she found she was unable to concentrate? The quietness all around wasn't restful after all. It had an empty, colo
urless quality, as if she was sitting in a vacuum, and she found herself thinking of the atmosphere at Eden Farm. It absorbed noise and disruption as if it was part of its heritage, and gave back a feeling of calm that touched the soul with a special magic in spite of everything.
And Joss Hamblyn? She pictured him struggling with children and chores, his irascible manner somehow achieving incredible results. It was silly to hope he would have to pocket his pride and shout for help. He was far too capable, and probably by now the place was as shipshape as it had ever been, the chaos swept away with abrupt orders that the children obeyed and even found amusing. There had to be a core of disguised benevolence in him that she didn't understand and had never been privileged to see.
She couldn't stop thinking about him. The book fell to the floor, and she relived that fierce quarrel that was an extension of all their other antagonistic encounters. How would it end? She couldn't be near him without being aroused by his masculinity, but that arousal brought no pleasure with it; only a desire to run as far as she could before she was caught up in emotions too potent for her to fight against. Their aversion to each other almost made normal conversation impossible, and she could see no way to alter the situation. The fact that her body reacted with such agitation when he was near was a trick of chemistry over which she had no control, and she attributed it to her mental antipathy towards him which was causing peculiar side effects. It would be self-betrayal to reason otherwise. Piers had never caused her unrest like this, even when he let her down and broke promises. She had taken it all in her stride and made allowances for him. So why couldn't she just banish all thoughts of Joss from her mind when she didn't have to be in his company? It wasn't worth letting him monopolise her time like this when there were far more important things to think about.
