His phone number was scrawled at the bottom, and he hadn't bothered to sign it. It was characteristically terse, though I couldn't figure out what else I was expecting. Dear Heather, thanks for letting me fuck you in front of a mirror while we stared into each other's eyes like two lovelorn teenagers. Had a great time. I know I can't stay with you any more since you refuse to tell Steve and Andrea that you've succumbed to my charms once again, but I sure would love to fuck you in the woods later…
Once upon a time, when were young, that was all "hiking" meant. We'd go just far enough to be isolated, and retreat somewhere under a covering of branches, somewhere only the birds and the crickets could hear us. Hiking was practically the official pastime of the Pacific Northwest, so it was the perfect excuse. Though if our parents didn't at least have an inkling of what was really happening, well - I'd be shocked.
Maybe that's not what he meant.
Yeah, and maybe I'd win the lottery tomorrow. Anything was possible.
I sat with the phone in my hand for twenty minutes, trying to figure out what I could say. I wanted to hear his voice again, wanted it desperately, but at the same time I very much didn't.
Finally, I typed out a text message instead. It was a compromise. For whom, I didn't know.
Where?
The answer came less than a minute later.
You know where.
An irrational stab of anger went through my chest. I hated that the fountain was no longer mine. I'd never be able to go there again without thinking of him, and that was the absolute last thing I needed. This whole place was already stained with memories of him. Even my apartment, now, would never be the same.
But that was my fault, just as much as his. It was just easier to blame somebody else.
I wasn't hungry, but I ate a few handfuls of granola and grabbed a water bottle before I headed out to the fountain.
The ground was still spongey from the rain, but today there was nothing but sunshine and chirping birds. The weather made about as much sense as my feelings for Cole. It was much easier to stay angry and aloof when he wasn't right in front of me, fixing me with those piercing blue eyes that made me forget all the very good reasons why I didn't want him in my life again.
Suddenly, I caught his scent in the air. Memories of last night came back in a rush, sending a flare of heat between my legs and making my knees weaken slightly.
You're mine.
I shook my head, sending the images scattering. He didn't mean it. Obviously, it was just one of those things you say in the heat of the moment. And my body's completely irrational reaction wasn't even worth worrying about. Just because there was a primal appeal to the idea of being owned by an alpha male who growled in your ear while he fucked you in front of a mirror…
Well, that was no reason to act like an idiot.
Maybe it was too late for that.
This time, I saw him before he saw me. He was standing by the fountain, his hands shoved deep in his pockets, wearing a flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
"Take a picture," he said, without turning around. "It'll last longer."
I walked up to him, stopping a few feet away, keeping my eyes on the fountain. "Good morning to you too," I said.
"Heather." He cleared his throat. "Hey. Look at me for a second."
He was smiling, but subdued, and I held my breath. The last thing I wanted right now was to have some kind of serious discussion about…anything, really. Especially not whatever was happening between us.
"I didn't mean for things to move so fast," he said. "I mean - last night, it was amazing, but that wasn't how I planned it. I just wanted to see you again. Talk to you. Apologize, maybe, if it's not too late for that."
"A little bit," I said, lightly. "But it doesn't matter. Not anymore. It's been so long, we're both different people now."
"Right," he said, not sounding completely convinced. "Well, I'm sorry anyway."
I shrugged. "Water under the bridge."
Cole chuckled a little. "Remember when we used to play poker after school, with Josh and Lisa and everybody else?"
"Yeah," I said. "I remember when Principal Bouchard busted us for gambling on school property. But you convinced him to let us keep playing, as long as we gambled with candy we bought out of the school vending machine, instead of quarters."
"One of my finest hours," Cole agreed. "But my point is, you had a terrible poker face back then. And you still do."
I felt the back of my neck flush hot. "Don't know what you're talking about," I said.
"Sure." Cole glanced at me, sidelong. "I just want you to know, I don't blame you for being mad. Even if you're not mad. I understand why you would be. I never should have left the way I did, even if we weren't dating anymore. It wasn't fair to you."
I'd been waiting to hear that for so long. But now, standing in front of the fountain, I just couldn't hear it.
"Thank you," I said. "So are we going to go on that hike, or what?"
We started walking in silence, as the sun rose higher in the sky. It didn't take long for Cole to start talking, asking me idle questions about what had happened in Douglas Mountain since he left. Foxwoods made him grimace, but when I told him that good old Arthur Craven had become their community board leader, he couldn't stop laughing.
"I can't imagine a more perfect job for him," Cole said, grinning, as he stripped off his flannel shirt and tied it around his waist. His skin glistened in the sunlight, and I forced myself to look away. "Please tell me that he's still sending regular bulletins to the police about suspicious persons."
"He once spent every afternoon, for a solid week, photographing all the cars that he thought were speeding through the side-streets. He brought them all down to the station in a big manila envelope, and he couldn't understand why they didn't consider his blurry cell phone pictures actionable."
"That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard," he said. "How about the letters to the editor?"
"Every week, like clockwork."
"Guess some things never change." Cole stopped, suddenly, his head jerking upwards and his eyes narrowing slightly.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
He held his finger to his lips. I kept still for a long moment, straining my ears for whatever he'd heard.
And then I noticed it. A soft rustling. I was being followed, once again.
"It's just…" I drifted off when Cole looked at me, sharply.
"Do you hear that?" he whispered, his whole body tensing.
"Yeah, I was just going to say, it's the…"
The noise grew louder, and all of a sudden, a cougar stepped out into our path.
I swallowed hard. They were almost never this brazen.
Unless they've already made up their mind to attack.
"It's all right," I said, softly. The huge animal just stared. I could feel the tension in Cole's body like it was my own, my muscles stiffening, my jaw clenching. "He doesn't want to hurt anybody."
I didn't know that. I couldn't. This felt different from every other encounter. Cole was there, and Cole was not welcome. I got that message, loud and clear, just as if the cougar had told me in so many words.
The cougar crouched low, his ears flattening back against his head. My heart constricted with a sudden fear. I had never seen that posture before, but I knew what it meant.
I stared at the animal, but he wasn't interested in me. For once, he was captivated by someone else. And Cole was staring back. But the cougar didn't back down. He crept forward, his tail twitching back and forth rapidly, and I resolved to do something drastic. Never taking my eyes off the cougar, I crouched down and picked up a rock. Hefting it carefully, judging the distance I'd need, I whispered to Cole.
"I'm going to try and hit him. If I can startle him enough, he'll run away."
There was a moment of silence from Cole, which felt like years.
"No," he said, finally, his voice low and rough. "He won't."
What the
fuck do you know?
I hauled back, and threw. I'd been aiming for his head, but I went a little wide and hit his shoulder. The cougar hardly flinched. He just kept staring, his back legs pumping up and down slightly. Readying his pounce.
My heart was throbbing, every muscle and bone in my body starting to ache. A sharp pain, starting at my fingertips, rapidly crawled its way up my arms.
Cole's voice sounded rougher than ever.
"Run."
I choked, tripping forward onto the ground. I didn't know what was happening. I couldn't even see the cougar anymore, or anything at all. My vision filled with red. Agony tore through my body, and I screamed, writhing on the dirt. When it had faded enough for me to look up, trying to blink away the creeping blackness at the corners of my eyes, I saw it.
I saw something impossible.
Cole was not Cole. In his place, there stood a massive beast covered with long black fur. But I understood it was him, the same way you always know who someone is supposed to be in a dream, even when they wear someone else's face. The eyes were bright blue, the muzzle long, the ears tall and pointed - a wolf. Just not like any wolf I'd ever seen.
He was still semi-upright, but he pitched forward on all fours as I watched. Growling. He was still staring at the cougar, who had now backed several steps away. The tail still twitched, but he was confused now. A little frightened. Cole crouched down low on the ground, baring his teeth.
With one massive leap forward, the cougar swatted at his face. Cole dodged so quickly he became a blur, jumping on top of the cougar and grabbing the loose skin on the back of its neck in his teeth. I'd never heard the unholy yowl of a big frightened cat before, and I hoped I never would again. Cole jerked his head from side to side, shaking the cougar like a rag doll. When he finally let go, the tawny animal turned tail and fled deep into the forest.
I was panting. My heart pounded insistently against my ribs. My fingers were buried in the dirt, gripping for dear life, and the adrenaline still coursed through my veins.
What the fuck, Cole? I wanted to shout. But I had no voice. No breath. I sucked in oxygen and forced myself to breathe it out, over and over again, while black spots swam in front of my eyes.
Cole, the wolf, turned to me. He shook his head, and the transformation started. Once again, a deep ache settled in my bones, but this was calmer, more bearable. I gritted my teeth as I watched him shift back into the form that I knew. The ache disappeared. Well - not all of it. One ache remained, of a slightly different nature than all the others. An irrational hunger, demanding satisfaction.
He was breathing hard. His chest glistened with sweat, his hair flopping down over one eye, and his jeans had ripped down the sides from the sudden appearance of his wolf flanks. But it was the bulge between his legs that I couldn't stop staring at. Whatever this insane urge was, he felt it too.
I wanted answers. I needed answers. I needed to know what the hell was going on, what the hell he was - but I didn't need any of that as much as I needed him inside me.
Now. Immediately. Right here, in the middle of the forest, on the dirt.
There was no need to say a single word about it. We were of one mind, crashing together on the ground, his bulk pinning me down to the earth. He yanked my shorts down and scrambled to unzip what was left of his jeans, while I lifted my hips towards him, the urge to feel him already starting to drive me insane.
He was harder than I'd ever seen him before, his cock angry and throbbing, but I only had a moment to appreciate it before he slammed inside me.
My head jerked back, an inhuman noise coming from the back of my throat. Grabbing fistfuls of dried leaves, I tried to keep it together, tried to keep myself from shattering into a thousand pieces, tried to stop myself from screaming so loud that Arthur Craven would call the cops. But I couldn't. I didn't. My legs curled around Cole's waist, urging him faster, harder, deeper. I wasn't sure I could take any more, but I wanted to find out.
My climax hit me like a freight train. If I'd been capable of thinking, I would have expected it to wane as suddenly as it peaked. But it didn't. I kept on shuddering, moaning, my hips bucking up and down as Cole fucked me through it. Finally his body couldn't resist the tight clench of my inner muscles, and he groaned, his eyes closing for a moment as he came deep inside me.
I didn't even have the time to breathe, to tell myself I wasn't disappointed, even though the remainders of my climax still quivered in my core - before he started thrusting again, stoking the fire. I moaned again, staring into his eyes as he pushed his own seed deeper inside me. At first, I saw the slight wince on his face, as his over-sensitized cockhead rubbed against my tight walls. But a moment later he exhaled, growing even harder inside me.
Wave after wave of pleasure washed over me, until I hardly recognized by own hoarse cries of ecstasy. Cole thrust harder and faster, his breathing ragged. He was like a man possessed. Even at our most insatiable, our high school trysts had never been like this.
I was lost in it, the intensity taking over and blacking out my vision, my thoughts, everything except the feeling of him inside me. Inch by inch, thrust by thrust, we were sliding across the forest floor.
We seemed to go on like this forever, until every muscle in my body ached deliciously from the tension, until my voice disappeared, until I was well past the point of exhaustion, but I couldn't have cared less.
As the sensations finally began to fade, leaving me numb and throbbing, Cole's movements stuttered. He panted my name, his eyes rolling back as he groaned and spilled inside me once more.
I didn't move for a long time, letting my body stay limp and heavy on the ground. It took a long time to catch my breath, and a headache was throbbing to life at the base of my neck.
Worth it.
Laughing weakly at myself, I heard Cole make a small noise. I opened my eyes. He was still on top of me, resting on his forearms, wearing a halfway grin that made my heart ache almost as much as my head.
"Well," he said, as a bead of sweat dripped off the ends of his hair and landed on my chest.
"Yeah," I said. More eloquent words failed me, and Cole hauled himself to his feet with a monumental effort. He took a long swig from my water bottle, then handed it to me.
I sat up, staring at him. All the shock and confusion and unanswered questions were coming back in a tidal wave, and he must have seen it on my face, because he spoke up before I could.
"I can explain," he said. "But, uh, maybe we should go get cleaned up first."
"No," I said, screwing the lid back on my water and plopping it down on the dirt beside me. "Go ahead and explain now."
He cleared his throat, shuffling his feet slightly. "Can I at least go somewhere and put some pants on? I'll feel genuinely bad if some unsuspecting family comes hiking by."
"Fine," I said, struggling to my feet. "We can walk and talk." I grabbed my clothes and pulled them on again, as best I could.
Carrying the shreds of his ruined jeans over one arm, Cole started up the path, occasionally glancing around him, like he was ready to disappear into the underbrush at the slightest sign of life nearby.
"So, what you just saw back there," he began. "It's kind of - it's kind of an open secret around here."
"What, that you're a werewolf?" The whole thing was so absurd that I couldn't even laugh at it.
He snorted. "I appreciate you taking it in stride, but no, not exactly. I mean - you could call it that. But there are others, and they don't all turn into wolves."
"Of course not." I blinked a few times, trying to convince myself that I was dreaming. "How could I be so small-minded?"
Steve and Andrea were both at work, thankfully. I didn't have to worry about explaining why I was bringing a naked, dirt-streaked Cole Jackman back to my apartment. He insisted we should both have a shower before he explained any more, and I insisted on the shower being separate. I was almost positive I couldn't handle another round, but if I had a soapy Cole at my disposal my body might en
d up disagreeing.
"So there's more than one of you," I said, as he toweled off his hair.
"A lot more," he said. "Quite a few of your friends are moonlighting as bears and badgers. Like I said - it's kind of an open secret around here. Our kind sticks together. We're like a family. A clan."
"Sure," I said. It made about as much sense as anything else I'd had to process today. Any minute now, I expected it to really sink in, and I'd start screaming and running around in circles, panicking over my shattered perception of reality.
Cole squinted at me. "Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
I shrugged. "Why? Do people usually react differently?"
"I don't know," he said. "Never told anyone before."
That one threw me for a loop. "Really?" I said. "Never?"
"I mean, when do you bring it up?" he chuckled. "Nah. Never had the opportunity."
"But you…" I gestured vaguely. "It didn't exactly seem like you could help it, when it happened."
"I can't," he said. "Sometimes we can change at will, but there are times when it's involuntary. Every night there's a full moon. Any time we feel we're in danger. And sometimes, just when we're really, really angry…"
"That sounds terrifying," I said, because it really did.
Cole's mouth twisted into something that wasn't really a smile. "You get used to it," he said.
"But you've never done that in front of somebody who wasn't…one of you," I said. "I'm sorry. I don't really, uh…I don't know what you call yourselves."
"We don't have much occasion to call ourselves anything," he said, shrugging. "We're just us."
That made so much sense, it almost made my headache worse.
"And no," he went on. "I've never been with somebody when they were suddenly threatened by a wild animal, I guess."
I bristled. "He wasn't a threat. They follow me all the time. If they wanted to hurt me, they've had plenty of opportunities before today." Something occurred to me, suddenly. "Hold up - he wasn't, uh, one of you guys - was he?"
Becoming His Mate: Douglas Mountain Shifters (Fountain of Love) Page 4
