Her fingers became the most fascinating things she’d ever seen and she concentrated hard on them. It was a little while before she spoke, but she finally did. “I killed a man, Rachael.” She looked at me. “It’s only a matter of time before they come after me and lock me up.”
She thought they were after her. I started shaking my head. “No, I’m pretty sure it was just a vindictive bitch who hates me that orchestrated that mess.”
She went back to looking at her fingers. “Maybe not today, but they will come for me.”
“What you did was in self-defense.”
She started shaking her head. “I wanted him dead.”
“He held you and Drew hostage with that gun. He beat the shit out of Dennis.”
“Don’t remind me!” She stood. “It’s my fault Dennis got hurt. It’s my fault any of this happened to us!”
“Craig was a crazy, deranged man who should never have been let out of prison. He deserved what he got.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” Drew stood in the doorway. She took a step toward Deb. “There’s no telling how that day would’ve turned out had you not done what you did. He was a crazy and desperate man. We both know that without a doubt.”
“I still shouldn’t have shot him.”
“I tried to.” Deb and I both looked surprised at Drew’s confession. “After he threw you into the nightstand and gave you that gash on your head,” Drew said as she pointed at Deb’s scar, “we went to the kitchen because I knew he would calm down with food. He placed the gun on the counter, and I kept watching it. I kept waiting for my opportunity to take it. He just never left it long enough for me to have that chance.”
Neither of us knew what Drew was going to do when she walked up to Deb, and Deb took a step backward. She reached out and put her hand on Deb’s shoulder. “I wouldn’t have hesitated to kill him the second that gun hit my hand. Do not beat yourself up over that scum.”
Drew walked over to the tote that was sitting in the corner and picked it up. “When you bring work home with you, it’s a great idea to remember to take it back. The kids will be looking for this after nap.” She started to go, but turned back to Deb. “It’s a long shot this would ever go to trial, but if it did, I would testify it was self-defense.”
We both watched as Drew left. Deb looked at me, and then back to the door that Drew had just walked out. “I can’t believe she doesn’t hate me.”
She had been cruel to Drew. I couldn’t believe it, either.
“Hey, boss.” Damon startled me as he walked into my office. “I got that name you wanted, but there isn’t much dirt on the guy.”
“Someone like him has to have dirt.”
“The only thing I could get is he had run up all kinds of debt trying to get his kid noticed.”
“Get noticed for what? Do you mean like a scholarship?”
“No. His kid’s been draining him dry going all over auditioning for things.” He handed me a paper. “Here’s his info and his background at work. I hate to say it, but he’s got a clean arrest record.”
I took the paper. “Until now.”
“Right.” He pointed at me. “I’ve got to get a few things done before I leave for the weekend. I’ll catch you Monday. Have a good one, boss.”
“You, as well, Damon.”
I looked over the information he gave me. It didn’t make sense. There was no reason to arrest Rachael, especially with the force he used. I slammed the paper on the desk.
I picked up my phone, but put it down just as fast. It had been a week since I’d heard from Rachael. She needed time, but I needed her. I looked at the clock and was surprised how late it was. What I needed was to get home to Amy.
The smell of dinner hit me as soon as I got out of the car. I felt bad Amy couldn’t have dinner like that at our house. I just wasn’t a good cook. I was getting better or maybe I was just getting used to eating it. Either way, I wouldn’t ever be able to make a dinner that smelled that good. I was surprised to realize the smell was coming from inside my home.
I hadn’t even put the briefcase down or taken my jacket off. The smell of roasted chicken took over and I had to follow it to the kitchen. Cil was pouting in the corner at the table while Amy was excited and talking about her photo shoot.
Susan was at the stove and turned to me as soon as I walked in. “Carl, honey.” She shook her head and walked over to me. Her wrinkled hands came up and pulled me down for a light kiss on the cheek. “Go keep Kevin company in the front room. We’ll talk after dinner.” She went back to the stove as I nodded and did as she said.
Susan and Kevin were the parents of Joy and Cil. I hadn’t been expecting them. They were always welcome in my home, but they usually let me know when they were coming.
I walked to the front room and set my briefcase down. “Kevin.”
“Carl.”
Neither one of us believed in small talk. I think that’s why we got along so well. We never felt the need to bullshit and were comfortable in the silence. Only, there wouldn’t be silence after they show up unannounced.
“Is there something I can do for you two?”
Kevin put the paper down and slipped his glasses off. “It’s what we can do for you, son.”
I took my jacket off and placed it on the back of the chair I decided to sit in. “What would that be?”
“Amy.”
“She’s fine. What can you do for her that I can’t?”
“No, no. I didn’t mean it that way. We just thought we’d help you out by taking her for the summer. You can concentrate on your life and—”
“Amy is my life. I don’t mind the couple of weeks she spends with you every year, but she isn’t staying the entire summer.”
Susan came in wiping her hands on a dishtowel. “Now, Kevin. I thought we agreed to discuss this after dinner. Come and enjoy a nice home cooked meal, Carl, and then we’ll talk about it.”
Kevin got up and followed her into the kitchen. Before I made it in there, Cil had come crashing through the door. “What are they doing here? Did you call them?”
Cil and her parents didn’t get along at all. They were very wealthy people and could afford to take care of Cil, but chose not to. It was the wisest decision they’d ever made. Cil was spoiled. She expected things, and when they realized she dropped out of college and had been partying on their dime, they cut her off. That was when she came to work for me.
“No, I didn’t call them. However, they are welcome here anytime.” I started to leave and she grabbed my arm.
“They want to take Amy.”
“I’m aware of their plans.”
“You’re okay with this?”
“We haven’t worked out the details yet, but if they want to have her after school is out for a couple of weeks, I have no problems with that. They are her grandparents.”
“And what about me?” She raised her voice and stomped her foot.
I’d had enough of her antics. I tried for my wife’s sake to help her out and teach her responsibility no one seemed to have taught her before, but it was no use. She wasn’t going to change. Not with the little bit of interaction we had. She needed a full time teacher and I wasn’t up for that task.
“I think it’s time you found a job, Cil.”
I walked away and she started pounding on my back. I turned and grabbed her arms, shaking her. “Stop!”
“You’re just like them!” She fought to free her arms. “You make promises and break them. You said you’d take care of me.”
I struggled to keep her arms in my hands. “No, I said I’d help you land on your feet. I said nothing about taking care of you.”
She finally wrenched her arms free, and I let her go. “She told you, didn’t she? She had to run to you the second she was free. Did she call you from the parking lot or did she come see you at the office?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Your bitch girlfriend.”
I took a step forward. “
What have you done?”
She backed up, but didn’t say anything.
I grabbed her upper arms and shook her harder than before. “What have you done?”
“Nothing! Let go!”
Susan walked in at that moment. “Dinner is getting cold. Now you two can finish your discussion later, but it’s time for dinner now, and I will not come to get you again.”
I waited until Susan had gone back to the dining room before I spoke to Cil again. “If you think your pathetic attempts, to do whatever it is you’re trying to do, will work, believe me they won’t. I want nothing to do with you. I’ll never want anything to do with you. Consider yourself officially fired.” I tossed her on the sofa to get her away from me and continued to the family dinner that was waiting.
An excited Amy was finally tucked into bed. She was happy to see her grandparents. They were exceptional people whom I trusted completely. It didn’t mean I wanted them to take Amy for three months. I couldn’t be without her that long.
I was not surprised Cil hadn’t stayed for dinner. I was certain I hadn’t heard the last from her. But whatever her latest stunt was, it had been the final straw. I would find out what she’d done. I would also find out why Rachael hadn’t told me yet.
“Are you still thinking about her, son?”
I looked up to Susan’s blue eyes. It looked as if she were about to shed tears. Had she thought I was thinking of Joy? Should I have been thinking about Joy instead of Rachael? Guilt came over me and I closed my eyes.
“Cecilia will find someone else to take care of her.” She patted the sofa seat next to her. “Come sit down and let’s talk about Amy.”
I hesitated, but sat next to her. The fact she thought I was still thinking about my argument with Cil made me feel even guiltier.
Kevin sat in the chair on my other side and leaned forward, essentially blocking me in. “Now, Carl, I need you to hear us out before you say no.”
Susan placed her hand on my knee and directed my attention to her. “Amy will be fine with us for the summer. You need to find your life again, and I know it’s hard to do as a single father. We’re only thinking of you, dear.”
“Well, I—”
“Carl, we don’t want to argue about this. We’re prepared to take her back with us the day after the school year ends and we’ll bring her back the week before the new school year.”
“It’s what’s best for the both of you.”
“No.” I hadn’t been firm too often with them. If my parents taught me anything, it was to respect those older and wiser than me, but I wasn’t going to allow them to take my daughter from me. I stood.
“Carl, just hear us out.”
“I have heard you and my answer is no.” I paced in front of the fireplace. “I’ve fired Cil, so you are welcome to stay here until school is out in about two weeks. I could use the help. After that, if you’d like to have Amy visit you for your two weeks at the beginning of summer instead of at the end of it, please take those two weeks as you see fit.”
I stopped pacing and faced them both. “However, you will only have your two weeks. I will not have my daughter miss out on summer vacation at home with me.”
“But she won’t be with you. You’ll be working.”
“Yes, Susan. I do need to work for a living. I’m home when Amy needs me to be. I’ll take the time you two have her to find a suitable nanny. One who belongs with children instead of one for whom I feel sorry.”
They shared a look and Susan started to nod. “Okay, Carl. I don’t believe two weeks is enough time for you to find that proper person, so please start now. Start while we’re here.”
“Thank you for not fighting me on this. Amy and I would love to have your help the next couple of weeks, and I’m sure Amy will love to go on vacation with you at the end of the school year. She is to be back here two weeks after you take her.”
Susan stood and walked over to me. “It’s time you find a life for yourself, Carl.” She rubbed my arm. “Joyce would’ve wanted that for you.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You want me to find another wife? This is why you want to take Amy for the summer?” I shook my head. “I’m not looking for anything of the sort.”
“We know, son.” Kevin stood. “Our girl has been gone for over a year and you haven’t even started dating again. It’s time to live your life.”
I ran my hands through my hair. It was one thing to think they were trying to help with Amy, but to hear them say I needed to move on from their daughter was a little too much to take. I thought they would’ve been on my side. “No one can replace Joy.”
Kevin slapped my shoulder. “That does my heart proud to hear you say that. We’re not asking you to replace our beautiful daughter. We’re telling you it’s okay to move on with your life. You and Amy are still here. She deserves a mother as much as you deserve someone in your life again.”
Susan walked over and linked her arm in Kevin’s. “Let’s go to bed and give Carl some time to think about what we’ve said.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek. “We love you, Carl.”
I stood there in stunned silence as I watched them climb the stairs.
The kitchen table wasn’t the perfect place for a desk, but it was the only place available. Without the big family meals we once had, it was easy to set up the laptop any time I needed to work at home.
My dad walked in and sat beside me. “What are you working on today?”
I hadn’t pulled up any photos yet since I had just finished responding to emails. I chose the ones I took of the grand ballroom when Deb assisted me instead of the photo shoot with Carl and Amy.
I turned the laptop toward him. “I’m just finishing up the last of a project I’ve been hired to do.” I turned it back to me. “After this, it’s back to editing full-time again, so I think I’ve been dreading finishing it.”
That was true. I’d already been back to editing since this photo shoot, but I guess I wanted to hang on to it a little longer. I wouldn’t need to pull it up again once I sent them to Carl.
My dad sat and watched me manipulate the photos a little bit. “Those are some very pretty pictures, Rachael.”
Pride filled my body, even if my dad didn’t know much about photography. His praise still meant the world to me. “Thank you, Dad.”
He looked around the dining room. “Is this working out for you?”
I shrugged. “It works well enough.”
“Your mother and I have loved having you here.”
I stopped working on the photo and turned to him. “You want me to move out?”
“No, actually, I don’t. I feel better when my girls are home, and I know they’re safe. I just think you’d feel better if you had a place of your own.”
“But what about Mom?”
“Your mother is fine. She will be.” He looked toward the door and turned back to me. “I think your mother needs things to get back to normal almost as much as you do. She’s fretting over you and Deb—”
“Me?” I shook my head. “I’m fine. I don’t need her to worry about me.”
“Then show her you’re fine and get a place of your own. Show her it’s okay to go back to the way things were before.”
I looked at the photos on the monitor. “But moving out won’t put things the way they were before. I didn’t have a place in town.”
“You’re right. It will show her things change and we adapt. We all need to adapt to the changes that have been made for us, including you.” He leaned over and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me to him. “I want you here as long as you want to be here, but I don’t think that’s truly what you want for your life. I think you want to have a family of your own and you’re not even dating anymore.”
I pulled away, shaking my head. “No, I’ve never wanted a family.”
“You will. I think you have someone in mind already.” He looked at the monitor and back to me. “I think what’s really got you scared to turn
in this final job is the fact the job will be over. I wish I knew why you were scared to love; but baby, you’ve got a lot of love to give.”
He started laughing as he hung his head and leaned on the dining room table. “It’s very difficult for a father to tell his daughter to love another man.” He looked at me. “But I love you too much to let you miss out on that.”
“Dad.” I put my face in my hands.
He pulled me to him again. “What is it? You can tell your old man anything.”
I turned and hugged him, taking him by surprise. His arms tightened around me, keeping me safe—as safe as they could. This wasn’t an issue of falling off my bike and scraping my knee. It was so much bigger than that, and my heart couldn’t heal with a boo-boo kiss as my knee had so many years ago.
“I love you, Dad.”
He sighed. “I love you, too. You know, it’s okay to be afraid of love. I was scared shitless of your mother.”
I looked up at him. “Does Mom know?”
“Of course she knew. It’s what helped her keep me in line.” He gave me a final squeeze and stood. “I won’t go into all the boring details of your mother’s and my courtship, but I was terrified.”
“You were terrified to love her?”
“No, baby, I was terrified I’d mess it up and lose her. You have to take the chance. You don’t want to wake up one day and wonder what could’ve been.” He pointed to the laptop before walking out. “I think those photos need to be delivered in person.”
I pulled up to Carl’s and checked for the tenth time that I had the flash drive with me. Fear was with me that night, but I didn’t know if it was fear of trying or fear of walking away.
I took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. The commotion inside sounded like running. There was a loud thud at the door, and I stepped back as it flung open. “Rachael!” I had to look down since I was expecting an adult. I guess Amy had seen me through the window when I pulled up.
Striving for Perfection (Striving Series Book 2) Page 14
