It had been a while since I’d been home to see my parents. I wanted to make sure the bruising had gone away before I went. My brother, Dennis, decided to call a family meeting and forced me to go back before the marks on my neck from Carl had disappeared, though. It’d been a while since I showed up with a hickey, but I was sure they’d all still be used to it.
I wasn’t sure why a family meeting needed to be called. It was usually when someone was in trouble or when my sister Deb was making bad decisions. I hoped it wasn’t anything to do with Dennis and Drew’s wedding.
The house was quiet when I entered. I found my dad sitting in his recliner, reading a magazine. I walked in and gave him a kiss. “Hi, Dad.”
“Hi, sweetheart.” He looked at my neck and smiled “You’re dating again?”
I blushed a little. “Yeah, I suppose you could say that.”
“And is this the same guy we talked about before?”
I smiled as I remembered our conversation when he told me to move out and start making a life for myself. “Yes, it’s Carl.”
I was surprised to get the kind of support I was getting from my dad, but not because he wasn’t supportive. It was no secret Dennis and my mother disliked Carl and thought he had motives. I was glad my dad allowed me to make decisions on my own and not to be influenced by their feelings.
“Hey, are you feeling okay?” My father looked tired. “Is there something going on I should know about?”
“Nothing’s going on, sweet pea.” He patted my hand and went back to his magazine.
I went to find the others and found them in the kitchen. Dennis and Drew were cooking at the stove and my other brother, Rick, was washing his hands. He walked over and flicked the water on me.
“Looks like someone is getting her groove on.” He flicked water at me a couple more times. “Whose ass do I need to kick?”
Dennis turned and saw the marks on my neck. “Please don’t tell me you’re sleeping with that prick, Carl.”
Rick looked disgusted. “What! You’re with Carl now? Didn’t you learn anything from Drew?”
Drew was the only one to defend me. “When are you guys going to cut him a break? I like Carl. He wasn’t for me, and I picked Dennis, but he isn’t a bad guy.” She turned to me and smiled. “I think with the right woman, Carl could be a real teddy bear.”
Rick came up and I flinched thinking he was going to do something. He hugged me instead. “If this is what you want, I’ll support it.” He backed up and held my arms. “But if that prick hurts you in any way, I’ll kick his ass.”
“Thanks, Rick.” I patted his shoulder. “It’s nice to see you in town again. What’s going on in your life to keep you away so long?”
“Just work. I actually would still be working if your baby brother here hadn’t decided to call an emergency meeting.” He walked over and slapped Dennis on the back of the head.
Drew came over while they scuffled and smiled. She looked at my neck, “So, it’s really happening, huh?”
I smiled when she nudged me. “Yes, it’s happening.”
She grabbed my hand and took me to the dining room. “I want to hear all about it.”
“I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that.” I crossed my arms. Drew told me there was nothing between them, but it was still awkward to talk to her about him.
She nodded and her smile faded. “I understand. I probably shouldn’t have asked. If you need to talk—”
“I’m sorry, Drew.” I looked around and leaned forward to whisper. “I’m almost positive he was a woman in a previous life the way he knows my body.”
She laughed. “I only had one experience with him, but it was intense. I prefer Dennis, though. He’s the one with the road map—”
I stuck my fingers in my ears as I sang, “La la la la la.”
Mom walked in, looked at the two of us, and then settled on my neck. I received a disapproving look before she walked away. “Please set the table for dinner. It will be ready soon.”
Drew gave me a sympathetic smile as she helped set the table. “They just want what’s best for you.”
“I know.”
Everyone sat around the table and talked over one another. I missed these family meals. I looked at everyone and realized Deb wasn’t there. “Where’s Deb?”
Dennis sat up. “We were actually hoping you could tell us.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“She said she’s been staying with you, but you didn’t bring her with you, so obviously that’s a lie.” Dennis was furious. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done getting her that job?”
“Yes, I gave her some independence. Joseph agreed to it.”
Mom spoke up. “We’re just worried about her. If she isn’t staying here and she isn’t staying with you, we need to make sure she’s okay.”
“She is okay. I see her often enough to know if something is wrong.”
“None of us knew anything was wrong before. What makes you sure you’ll see any signs?” My mother was worried.
“We talk more now than we ever have before.”
“When was the last time you talked to her?”
I sat and thought for a moment. “It was just yesterday. She was fine.”
“Did she say where she was going?”
“No, but I didn’t ask. She’s a grown woman who can take care of herself. Maybe she just needed time alone.”
“It’s interesting a family meeting is called about me.” Deb took her phone out of her pocket and looked at it. “And yet, no call came for me to attend.” She sat down next to me and started fixing a plate. “If you want to know something, just ask.”
“Where have you been?” Dennis was still furious, but he took a softer tone.
“You’re not my father, little brother. I don’t have to answer to you.” She took a bite and spoke with her mouth full. “But I will tell you that I was in some very good hands.” She nodded and started eating again.
“Deb.” Our mother scolded her. “There’s no need to be crass.”
“Why not? They’ve all had their fun, it’s my turn now.”
“What do you mean?” Rick was dumbfounded at her attitude.
“I mean—” She took a drink of my water and swallowed. “I mean while you three,” she said as she pointed to us, “were out being young and dumb, I was home waiting for you.”
“Deb.” It was our father’s turn to speak up. “Your mother and I are the only ones to take up this conversation with. There is no need to involve them.”
“Oh, I’m not involving them. They’re involving themselves. I didn’t call this meeting.” She pushed her plate away. “I think they should hear it.”
Dennis crossed his arms. “Enlighten us.”
“What’s your favorite memory after school, little brother?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
Deb pointed to Rick and me. “You two can answer this, too.” She shook her head. “No one can think of anything or you just don’t want to tell me because you don’t know what your crazy older sister is going to say?”
I put my hand on her arm. “Why don’t you just tell us so we know what’s going on.”
“Okay. I think Rick’s favorite memory was when he took a girl into the back of Dad’s car he was re-building and lost his virginity.”
The entire table looked at him, but all he did is smile and nod. “Yeah, that was pretty cool.”
“I think Dennis’s favorite memory was when he burned himself setting fire to the back yard and I covered for him by making a quick batch of cookies and saying he touched the pan.”
I held my breath as she turned to me. I wasn’t sure which one of the stupid things I did when I was younger was going to come out of her mouth, but I was going to sit there and not say anything. If she felt she needed to out me for something, I’d let her do it.
“What does this have to do with your actions today?” Dennis no longer held a soft tone. “You�
��re putting Mom and Dad through a lot of bullshit. If you want to be a child, just move out and make your stupid mistakes on your own.” Drew tried to quiet him. “What? I just don’t understand how her babysitting us back then gives her the right to cause such stress today.”
Deb sat back and shook her head. “You’ll never understand it. It isn’t about the babysitting. It’s about how you all treated me. I was the outsider, the one who handed down order and discipline. You’ve never treated me as anything other than a third parent whom you resent.
“You love our parents because they didn’t need to do the discipline. I did it.” She stood to go. “I’m done. I’m going to pack and get out of here.”
“Deb!” Our father stood. “I’ve been very lax with you once you told us how you felt. I’ve apologized and said I wished things were different. You can resent us all you want for putting you in the adult role before you were ready and taking away any of the experiences you felt you lost.
“I will not allow you to ruin your life now. I am still your father and if you want to sow your oats now please do so with my blessing, but you will not move out until I say you can. If you want to act like an immature child, I will treat you accordingly!” He started coughing and clutching his chest before he collapsed to the floor.
“Dad!” We all jumped up and ran to him. Everyone except for Deb. She stood there with a horrified expression on her face. Drew called the ambulance as Deb ran out.
“Deb, stop!” I ran after her. “Dad needs us.”
“He doesn’t need me. He’ll be better without me around.” She opened her car door. “You all will be.”
She didn’t let me respond and she got in her car and drove off. I heard our mother crying inside. I looked up to the sky as it started to rain. I had no idea what to do.
It was a long night of waiting and worrying. I didn’t know what was happening with my father and I didn’t know where Deb had run off to. Drew came over and sat next to me.
“It’ll all work out. Your father’s a strong man.”
I nodded. “I know.”
“There’s another strong man I know of who could probably help you out right about now.” She nudged me. “Why don’t you give him a call? I think you’ll feel better if he’s here with you.”
I watched as Drew walked back over to Dennis. She nodded to my phone when she saw me watching her. I picked up the phone and stared at it. I’d ignored a few texts from him already. I sighed and dialed his number.
He answered on the first ring. “Hey, I was beginning to wonder about you.”
I stood up and walked to a quiet corner with no one around.
“Rach? What’s wrong?”
I lost it and started sobbing into the phone, “I need you, Carl.”
“What’s wrong, Rachael? Where are you?”
The panic in his voice was hard to hear. It made it all too real and I kept crying. “I’m at the hospital. I think my dad had a heart attack.”
“I am so sorry, Rach.”
“Will you come?”
“To the hospital?”
“Yes, I need you.”
He was silent. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. Your family doesn’t care for me.”
“Fuck the family, Carl. I need you.”
“I know and I’m here for you. Come over as soon as you’re done.”
“As soon as I’m done?”
“You know what I mean.” He sighed. “I don’t think I can do hospitals again.”
I hung up, dropping the phone to my lap so I could place my face in my hands and cry. I didn’t know why I bothered. I’d never be in a real relationship where you could depend on someone.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and it startled me. “Come on, Sis.” Deb was trying to get me to stand up. “Let’s get some coffee.”
We sat in silence while we drank our coffee. I wanted to ask her questions, but I didn’t want the answers at the same time. We both probably looked somewhat dazed. I was sure the hospital was used to it.
“Alec Tessler.”
I looked at Deb. “What?”
“Alec Tessler.” She took another drink and smiled. “That’s who I would’ve said was your favorite memory.”
I smiled. I hadn’t thought about Alec in so long. It wasn’t an embarrassing story, as I had feared. It really was sweet of her to remember that. Alec was the first boy I’d had a crush on. He moved away before I got old enough to act on it, but at seven-years-old, he was the best thing ever to happen to me.
“I wasn’t technically watching you anymore, but I could’ve said the time Deaton squirted in your mouth.”
I laughed and covered my face. “I was so shocked.”
“I was so jealous.”
“What?” I looked at her. “Why?”
“You were sixteen and experiencing things I didn’t experience until I was away at college. I didn’t give my first blow job until I was nineteen.” She put her cup to the side. “I know it isn’t anyone’s fault but my own. I could’ve gone out and gotten into all kinds of trouble, but I really did think I was helping at the time. I had no idea it would’ve put a wedge between all of us.”
“I guess I didn’t know there was a wedge. I just thought you didn’t like me.”
She nodded. “I can see that, but I was the authority figure. You guys didn’t want to like me on principle.” She cleared her throat. “To tell you the truth, I probably didn’t allow myself to like any of you, either. I was jealous of the freedom you had.”
I scoffed. “Mom and Dad were just as strict on us as they were on you. We all were just closer in age, so we didn’t have to babysit each other.” I took a drink of the stale coffee. “We did stupid childish stuff, but it wasn’t because we had freedom. We just did it.”
I sat in the parking lot for what seemed like an eternity. The emergency room sign was hard to avoid; no matter where I looked it was always there mocking me out of the corner of my eye.
I started the car three times to leave, but I couldn’t make myself pull out and go home. Rachael was in there somewhere and needed me. I just didn’t know if I’d be any good to her if I walked through those doors again.
I ran to the counter and barged my way in line. “My wife was brought in. Joyce Williamson. Where is she?”
“Sir, you’ll have to take a seat and wait your turn.”
I slammed my hands on the counter. “My wife! Where is she?”
The security guard came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. “Mr. Williamson, let me help you.”
I turned and looked him up and down. “Do you know where she is?”
“No, but we’ll find out. Let’s let these people get checked in.”
I followed him, looking in every open door as we walked through the halls. He stopped and talked to a nurse as I paced. She nodded and walked over to me.
“She’s been transferred to ICU. I’ll take you to her.”
“What’s wrong with her?”
“I’ll let the doctor explain it to you.”
I followed her as she weaved through halls and people. We couldn’t get there fast enough and I wanted to ask her to hurry, but I couldn’t speak. She was taking me to Joy and I was terrified of what I would find.
She stopped in front of a room and motioned for me to go in. “I’ll get the doctor.”
I walked in and saw Joy sleeping. She looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to wake her. I stood at the end of the bed watching her breathe until the doctor came in.
“Mr. Williamson?”
I took him to the hallway. I didn’t want him to wake Joy. She needed her rest. “What happened?”
“To put it quite simply, her body is giving up.”
“Giving up?” I shook my head. “I don’t understand. Why would her body give up?”
“How much do you know of your wife’s cancer?”
I beat the steering wheel with my hands, which shook the entire car. I didn’t want to be back there. I swore I’d neve
r go back unless Amy needed something. My breath was erratic and shallow. I crossed my arms on the steering wheel and rested my forehead on them.
Rachael needed me. I needed to focus on that. I sat up and stared at the door I had rushed through almost two years ago. I took a deep breath and got out of the car. I needed to be the man Rachael expected and the man I wasn’t for Joy.
I knew where the waiting room was, so I didn’t bother with the desk. I just went on autopilot and walked the halls I’d never thought I’d walk again. I placed my hands in my pockets and kept my head down.
“Carl?”
I stopped and looked behind me. A few doors down from where I came stood Gloria, Rachael’s mother. I slowly walked back to her. “Gloria.” I looked in the room. “How’s he doing?”
“He’s resting.” She looked me over. “You don’t want to be here, do you?”
“Rachael needs me.”
She nodded and looked back into her husband’s room. “I imagine you know this feeling well.” She looked at me. “The feeling of helplessness and uncertainty.”
“Yes, I do. I’m sorry you have to go through it.”
“I don’t want my daughter alone with this feeling.” She looked back to her husband. “Rachael is in the cafeteria with Deb.” She started to go back to the room and stopped. “Just don’t tell them I told you where to look. I don’t want Deb to run off.”
I narrowed my eyes, but she walked back into the room before I could ask what she meant. I’d find out from Rachael.
The walk to the cafeteria was a long one, but one I’d welcomed. It didn’t take me past any more sick people or rooms that held broken hearts. It was in the lower level, far from the despair felt upstairs. People were still heartsick and lost, but at least they could get their minds focused on something else for a little while, even if it was shitty coffee.
Striving for Perfection (Striving Series Book 2) Page 21
